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CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
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It was surprising, as well as exciting, that even in these trying times there were still new crewmembers finding their way onto Theurgy. As they popped up like plot markers, on the map that was the ships combined consciousness plane, as well as in his department’s appraisal database. Eventually every new addition to the crew would have to prove their psychological integrity, to the skilled staff of counselors. Him, in this very particular instance. Ove rthe short amount of time he was out of the freezer, Stellan had garnered sort of a reputation to be THE guy for first draft appraisals. Hence Commander Hathev tending to shove these cases his way more often than not, and him deciding to always pounce at them like a child would at a new toy. Because after being on ice for the better part of a year, getting involuntarily acquainted with each and everyone’s psychological issues via proxy, he had developed some sort of proclivity himself, for the new and fresh minds, no matter how tormented. Which, admittedly, made him sound like a badly written 20th century movie monster, devouring the brains of humans for breakfast.

So, he had actually invited Lieutenant Alana Pierce in for an evaluation, mere moments after getting the personnel file, as she’d been cleared by the quartermaster, upon arrival from … Stellan had to peruse a bit further through her file … a Klingon ship, no less. Well, trauma was certainly afoot there, some hygiene issues, maybe. She’d certainly prove to be a fun challenge. Having relayed the appointment to her at 0830 hours, after a night she’d certainly not gotten a lot of sleep, would surely aid in putting the screws on her issues for sure. People were easiest to read when they were tired, couldn’t focus, keep their emotions in check. It was like taunting a kitten with a fly swatter. On top of that, in their current situation, most orders went out at 0900 hours, down from the department heads to their pawns. So, by calling her in before that, he would circumvent and preconceived excuses on behalf of duty. He would, however, try to ease the suffering by offering the use of his replicator, for a quick breakfast, if she so wished. He himself, in all honesty, hadn’t had one yet, which was, though, due to him not being a breakfast person.

As the subtle chime went down, alerting him to the receptionist’s prompt of a patient waiting, Stellan’s gaze raised to the closed doors of his office. He could not pierce them with his bare vision, of course, but his mind was able to keenly peer beyond. At the feedback he received, however, he was not quite certain right away, whether the irritation and disgruntledness was from the yeoman, or the lieutenant in question. Well, in due time, he would find out.

“Come in.” he called out, his voice chipper than what was warranted, at the prospect of diving deep into this new mind and all its hidden treasures. Like an aboriginal diver, seeking out the shiniest of pearls, in the deep blue sea, with nothing but the stamina of his own lungs and legs. “Glad you could make it, Lieutenant. Join me.” He smiled, a sense of glee conveyed that was, potentially, slightly off the realm of propriety. Getting up from his desk, taking the personal file with him, and a stylus pen for notes, the handsome man pointed a flat had gracefully at one of the armchairs by his office’s side, before lowering himself into the other. Letting out a content exhale, smiling once more over at the pretty redhead, he almost shuffled in his seat. Dare one say, mischievously.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #1 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

After finishing her personal log, albeit a truncated edition, she was told she needed to report to the ship's Counselor. As far as she knew, this was one of a few she might be visiting soon for her rather long and...interesting career in Starfleet. To say it hasn't been difficult would be an understatement but she knew that she had to do as expected and perform admirably. Being in intelligence, she knew that time and wear and tear could break a person down without enough mental fortitude. Unfortunately, the same could be said for Doctors and Counselors who wanted to pick your brain and take advantage of the occasional Freudian slip.

Alana spent some time in her quarters after the log, and paced around a bit, checking objects and functions of these new, roomier estates. It certainly was a different time, a different life really. She zipped up her duty uniform over her red turtleneck, slid on her skirt, zipped it up, and stood in the mirror. She had to admit, she still couldn't get over how beautiful she looked but thankfully she was still her old self inside.

The door to her quarters swooshed open as she stood before it, straightened her uniform, and walked into the corridor. She hadn't realized that she lived on the same deck as the counseling office. It was a rather short trip down the hallway, which surprisingly enough brought back memories of how small decks used to actually be on a Starfleet vessel. Her footsteps approached the doorframe of the counseling office. "Here goes nothing..." she mused quietly before stepping forward and pressing the door chime to be noticed enough for the door to open and go inside.

Taking a moment to gather herself, and to see what she was getting herself into, she thought over the busy list of items on the agenda for the day. Between a meeting with Intel, a possible Interrogation, and a followup, everything seemed just peachy. The receptionist was busily plugging away until Alana approached. "Lt. Alana Pierce, reporting in for a counseling session with Lt. Foster. Do you know how long this is going to take? I have a busy schedule this morning and wasn't really expecting to be harrassed this early in the morning."

"Sorry mam, I don't make the rules, I just schedule the patients. The receptionist stated plainly going back to work and signaling to the door of Lt. Foster as the queue to leave the waiting area.

Pierce gave a sarcastic smile bordering a sneer before stepping towards his doorframe. "Call me sir...or lieutenant," she said under her breath.

As the door opened, she heard the cheerful sound of Foster welcoming her inside his office. It looked rather comforting despite her not really wanting to be here. But, then again, maybe she could use this to learn about the crew and how to better handle her new situation. The man before her was certainly built which wasn't what she expected of a male counselor. Granted, she only knew of male counselors, also known as doctors, in the 23rd century.

"Glad you could make it, Lieutenant. Join me."

She stood before him, clearly a little tired, but didn't want to show a sign of irritation if she could help it. "Hello Lt. Foster. Lt. Pierce reporting for my session." She looked him over and could tell he was genuinely happy to be of service, which was different than she was used to as well. Not really waiting but assuming that the replicator was fair game, she waltzed over and ordered some scrambled eggs and a glass of cola to caffeinate herself for the day. After materialization, she took her food and drink back to the chair that Foster signaled for her to sit in.

Both now seated comfortably, she couldn't help but notice that Foster purposely made a particular shuffle in his chair. Was it interest or playful? She couldn't yet discern which but she'd be watching for tells of his actions and how to handle the situation. Taking bites until she'd eaten all the delectable eggs, she took a swig of her cola, placed the cup and plate on the table, and leaned back carefully folding her legs knee over knee to close off any potential freebie show and tell.

"So Lieutenant, where do we go from here?"

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #2 –
[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
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The small verbal and psychological altercation between the two women outside seeped through the miniscule cracks in the door like flowery gas, cutting its way through even porous substances. Telepathy, in a way, behaved similarly, though more akin to radiation, than material manifestations. He could sense the heightened stress levels like the cutting hisses of a nature documentary. Two lions meeting at the watering hole, not quite content to admit inferiority to the other. Each claiming a moral or ranking high ground, that wasn’t really there. It spoke measures to the human psyche and, even more so, to the more archaic notions, still prevalent after millennia of evolutionary conditioning. And hard to shake these were, didn’t he know it. The whole sentiment in itself, however, was rather amusing. Potentially contributing to his cheerful welcome, that hadn’t been all that professional. But the mood was swiftly brought back to the deck plating of professionalism when Alana introduced herself with every word, every rank and every preposition by the numbers exactly.

“Acknowledged.” he nodded with a slight, covert chuckle, tucking at his boyish, thin lips. Obsidian eyes almost settling on the chair opposite, before the redhead did, the counselor was caught slightly off guard as she instead moved on to the replicator. Her initial order making one of his thick brows raise in curious measurement. That was certainly a first. Tea, yes, coffee, certainly, a martini … sure. But no one yet had actually ordered a full meal to accompany a counseling session. On the spot, he could not even recall any paragraph in any book he’d ever read on the subject, specifically pertaining to a patient having a full-on meal during an examination. Neither did it ever come up in his studies or at the academy. But he did remember that there were no rights or wrongs in how someone was to behave while in his office. It was supposed to be a judgment free zone where one could discover their own issues freely. But it was quite hard not to be judgmental over how soggy those particular eggs looked.

Letting his dark orbs switch between the dish, the drink and the woman enjoying herself - for a good five minutes, mind you – Stellan kept decidedly quiet, barely moving opposite her. Eyes merely narrowing ever so lightly each time a fork of yellow mush vanished between ruby-red lips, the stark contrast of colors stirring something subconscious. If this was part of her process, a means to get comfortable, then he had to be perfectly fine with it. It did, however, already say a lot about the young woman and how she outwardly conveyed herself. It wasn’t a confidence he could for sure say ran all the way to the core, at this point. But that’s what she was here for to find out.

“I don’t know … toast? Maybe pancakes?” he replied dryly, a barely discernible tug at the corner of his lips the only giveaway to his humorous intentions. Trying to drive further the level of comfort she had seemingly intended to establish for herself. He had actually sensed a lot of preoccupation from the woman. Even the breakfast was, in a way, a means of delaying the inevitable, as well as flushing her mind with idle thoughts. Subconscious or deliberate … she was a spy, after all. He had witnessed the skill in many intelligence officers, and their diplomatic counterparts for that matter, where a thick haze of seemingly mundane impressions overcast their true intentions and deeper issues skillfully. Which may have been a fine deterrent for an amateur.

“I’ve been calling you in to catch up. How you’re settling in on Theurgy. It’s quite a turbulent time you joined … how does that make you feel?” he inquired ultimately, poising his stylus pen, with an expectant look on his face. Obviously ready to dissect everything she was going to say and at the same time collating it with how she really felt.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #3 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

The feeling of being watched wasn't something Alana was unaware of as she had finished her breakfast rather quickly. Not having wanted to waste any time on the day that's looking to be a busy one. Her green eyes surveyed the room looking for anything that might be amiss. Not really too trusting since having come to the 24th Century and discovering everything she once knew was backward. Including new positions previously not required for a starship to function.

After letting her quip about Where do we go next to the lieutenant, she half expected a serious answer, but she had to take a double-take on the situation that played out differently than what she had expected. He merely stated more breakfast food as options. The counselor was attempting to get some form of a reaction out of her which was difficult unless she wanted it to display. Her left eyebrow cocked up slightly in a way almost reminiscent of a Vulcan being intrigued with a divergent response from expectation.

"Ahh, yes." she said calmly letting a slight warm smile flash on her softened red lips. "Thank you for the breakfast. I have a busy morning and that was a luxury I was hoping to indulge before going on duty." She could feel the intention of comfort in the air as it was meant to be, but she was often master of what made herself comfortable. The humorous statement wasn't unnoticed by her however as she decided to take a less guarded approach to the officer clearly doing his due diligence with a newly onboarded crewmember before being thrown into the thick of it.

Her mind sharp as a tack despite the low quality and level of rest she had acquired since boarding the ship. She didn't have much time but had an odd feeling from Lt. Foster as if he was some sort of telepath trying to fish for information about her or her 'feelings' as it were. Which despite everything, she was very conflicted as an individual from all that had transpired. Secretly she wondered how much of her fucked up service record was readily accessible and how much was redacted due to the re-entry and transformation into this era. Her past service record and name was possibly removed from record other than to deep intelligence agents. But with a ship full of people on the run from the fleet as a whole, one could never be sure what was known and unknown.

The moment had finally arrived and the counselor was ready to begin. "I've been calling you in to catch up. How you're settling in on Theurgy. It's quite a turbulent time you joined ... how does that make you feel?"

She smirked slightly and chuckled before speaking. Alana knew the game is being set up and played right now. How he asked questions determined how much she'd decide to divulge. Her glance went to the pen about to write on the PADD. This individual struck her much like some of the psych's at the Starbase under Admiral Anderson's command. This particular individual was calculating, able to sense either thoughts or emotions, and had to be a Betazoid at least in some regard. He was well trained as far as she could determine, which meant keeping things pinned down would prove more difficult. No doubt this being why he chose a session to meet before a ton of major assignments and sleep could happen.

"Well, to be honest. I've only been on board for several hours now, got added to the duty roster, reported in, and a few hours of sleep after being assigned quarters. Which might I add are much larger than what I'm used to." She folded her arms under her bust which only helped to accentuate the size and placement of them. In reality, this was her comfortable state in which she held the heat to her chest and to rest her arms in a locked formation crossing arms over each other.

"How does coming aboard make me feel? Fine." she said wistfully at the careful eye of Lt. Foster. "I've served on quite a few ships over the years. This one is no different other than I'm here to help. I could care less about the politics of Starfleet's currently corrupted state." Her back rested carefree against the back of the recliner in the office as she again peered around in bewilderment at the sheer enormity of the vessel she now resided in.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #4 –
[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
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Noting the officer to give her best spook impression by sizing both the surroundings as well as the protagonists in it up, an almost amused sentiment curled Stellan’s thin lips into a barely distinguishable grin, that was more so given away by his sparkling black eyes and the fine lines forming beneath them. Stretching thin into his cheeks like whiskers. What most people didn’t realize, that showing no emotion or reaction was a telltale sign it its own rite, even to non-telepaths. But he could gleam far beyond such veneers of control, even within a trained mind that made it slightly more difficult … or challenging. He could already feel the guards melt away slowly, like a wax soldier in the sun. So, he could grant her that slight indignation easily. “My pleasure.” he smiled, mirroring the warmth of her sentiment almost equally.

A notion that only slightly grew in glee as she tiptoed around the veracity of her assumptions. Cunning indeed. The counselor’s spiritual self, tiptoed almost mischievously into the crevices and shadows of her mind, to hide from such sharp intellect, no matter how unnecessary it really was. Much like playing hide and seek with a deaf blind person. And despite her surely extensive training in mastering her own thoughts, the very daemons of her past proved too powerful to not be kept under lock and seal. Which was enough to indicate that there were issues not readily available in her files. The way the Lieutenant tiptoed around the potholes in her mind, leaving dark spots of uncertainty, in her wake. It was already enough to spike the counselor’s curiosity, to say the least.

Her next outward reaction was at stark odds with how she composed herself on the inside. A flashy smile betraying the defensive mechanisms being put in place beyond the facade. And in line with such deception, her first reply was nothing but a string of random words, intended to buy more time. Followed by a rather telltale defensive posture, as she crossed her arms over her chest. Inadvertently or not accentuating her female attributes. And the fact that she considered this sentiment to be comfortable, said much more than the gesture itself. Enough to warrant a small mark on the tablet’s capacitive screen.

Leaning back slightly, at her ultimate reply, which was far more revealing than her prior, measured nonsense, Stellan narrowed his dark eyes ever so slightly. “Fine is not a feeling.” he replied, his disposition not relaying any giveaway to it being humorous or serious in nature. Taking a mere moment to let the words sink in, the man soon re-evaluated his approach however, in light of the hostility and distrust he was sensing from the woman … which wasn’t hidden AT ALL. Letting the PADD fall into the crack between his thigh and the chair, the man leant casually on the armrest towards Alana, intertwining his fingers into a basket. “You have to understand, this is not a test, you’re not on trial. You don’t have to hold back out of fear that things could be used against you. If anything, the most harming thing you can do, is to deliberately keep things shielded from examination. To you, to me, to this entire appraisal.”

“Now …” the man’s voice picked up once more, from the rather sympathetic hum it had taken on just prior, as he pulled back up his tablet. “… in terms of actual feelings. How do you think our current situation affects you.”

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #5 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

Pierce inherently disliked the whole concept of counselors. She was introduced partially to their department just prior to her...exodus from the 23rd Century. The fact it was a doctor, a well-known colleague who didn't sugar coat things, took a drink of some intoxicating drink with you, and built you up meant more to her than what she perceived was occurring presently. She could feel the other officer dancing around her deliberate sidestepping while providing enough truth to satisfy. This position she could tell was nearly futile. While some information had to be kept in the dark crevices of her mind, there were other portions she was free to share and simply...didn't. Or chose not to for comfort's sake.

She took note that something in her behavior or in her quick ramblings had triggered the counselor before her. It was a quick tick, so likely nothing of note but could very well be something that she didn't want to be unearthed too. At her final words of being "fine", she could tell that by his response, he was fishing for information about her specifically and to know how she felt. "To be perfectly honest? I'm not entirely sure how I feel. "

Alana heard Stellan's appeal for her to open up and share more about her rubbed her slightly the wrong way. Not that he was doing it in a mean or unsympathetic manner, it bothered her having someone talk to her as if she should share more. She understood he was meaning well and to help her get to the root of the problem. Which in of itself was creating the welling reaction within her like a photon torpedo about to detonate on the hull of an enemy vessel. She knew there was little time left before she snapped a sharp reaction that might be unwarranted. Decidedly, Pierce closed her smokey, green eyes, closed her mouth, took in a deep breath, and exhaled before continuing her current duty assignment.

She opened her eyes again, rosy plump lips slightly open, she began to speak to let out her biggest frustration. "In terms of my feelings? I think this whole situation with the Klingons is a bit irritating. From their pompous, falsehood of honor, other than this Martok and the crew of the Daqchov which I was among recently, I find them difficult to cope with. Not to mention that but I am not who I am supposed to be either. It's because of those bastards that I am..." She pointed and drew her arms up and down as if pointing to her entire form. "...this." Anger was within her and fiercely so as she prepared to calm herself.

Standing abruptly, she could tell it startled the lieutenant as she waltzed over to the replicator and got another Cola to sip as she sat back down. She took a quick drink and placed it back on the table beside her. Careful not to make a mess as her delicate-looking hand released the cup and folded back among her other hand. "I can't get into the part of the reason for that as it was classified for various reasons. I am at a loss what all they have in my record specifically but I know that a lot is not accessible to even those less of an Admiral."

She sighed and went back to the conversation. "So all in all, I'm just a wee bit frustrated and just happy to do my duty until I figure things out more." She used her finger in a pinching manner as she said the word wee and then sat back partially deflated not knowing where the counselor planned to go next in this ride he was intent on sending her on.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #6 –
[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
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Stellan couldn’t say that in his history of counseling he had come across enough members of the intelligence department to create a cliché from the interactions with them. Like one would say that doctors are the worst invalids … likes wise counselors were the worst patients in any psychological sense. Given his limited experience with lieutenant Pierce, however, he was almost willing to give intelligence a close second place. They too seemed habitually locked up and cautious about giving too much deeper sentiments away out of fear of them being used against them. It was a natural human notion, admittedly, though heightened and almost perverted by years and years of dealing in subterfuge and pretense.

Habitual abnormalities were the hardest to deal with, in any line of work, but it seemed that hers were particularly anti-social and detriment to any semblance of a healthy human psyche. Too bad he didn’t live three centuries ago when his professional peers were still compensated by the amount of work a client would present. He could certainly – what was the proverb – ‘make a pretty mint of money’ from Alana. But no, humanity had moved past such petty notions of accumulating wealth and power – well, the former – so his main intention was to help her achieve a balance between her professional skepticism and a somewhat naïve openness to the wonders and surprises of the world. In any healthy mind, after all, it was all about balance. Extremes were the cancer of the mind. If cancer was still a thing.

So, when the red-haired vixen started to reassess her reply, and instead went on to outline her displeasure with the way their mission progressed, Stellan pushed the tip of his tongue into the pocket of his cheek, contemplating whether she had not understood his prompt. But given his telepathic surveillance of her intentions, he could ascertain that it was just another partly intentional attempt at skirting around the issue. Something he wouldn’t let scathe his superficial demeanor, as he remained interested and appreciative of her narrations. “Yes, yes … Klingons certainly have their issues. Psychologically speaking.” the counselor agreed with the gentle ring of afterthought to his emotionally barren delivery. It wasn’t after all, any sort of insight relevant to the appraisal and/or dissection of the lieutenant’s underlying issues. Albeit formidable and overbearing, the Klingons were not the root cause of the woman’s issues, not really. They were a psychological token, a symbolical scapegoat, to put off having to address the real cause of her frustration.

But then, as covertly and unassuming as possible, the woman diverted into a mor meaningful topic closer to her deep-rooted problems. And for someone not as perceptive or not as trained, it would’ve almost fallen to the wayside as simply some more of the same mundane conversation. But to Stellan there was also the added weight of her emotional plane that alerted him to the importance of her ensuing self-reflection. It was not as deep as he wanted, but an improvement none the less. Following her rather flamboyant display and the carnal impressions the show of her body reciprocated, the commander’s dark eyes flickered back up at her face almost reluctantly. Showing a faint whisper of confusion, as she appointed her body as ‘this’ the Klingons were apparently responsible for.

Ah, the incident. He concluded.

Just as she said, there wasn’t much information on the details available. But that was not an issue. There was hardly ever anything valuable to be gleamed from someone’s personal files. Most commanding officers – who put these together – only focused on the disciplinary key-points and the professional achievements. Not the motivations and deeper issues of the subordinates. That was for a counselor to unearth, and he had the shovel at the ready.

“Let’s ignore your ‘records’ for a moment. I am not here to read up on your duty progress, your commendations and your redacted activities. I am here to get to know the person Alana Pierce, not the officer. Do you feel like you can separate the two for me?” he asked curiously, shuffling lightly in his seat. “Who are you when you’re not on duty?”

After all, it seemed like she was using her posting as some sort of chewing toy while the deeper problems remained unaddressed and glossed over with the pretense of ‘more important tasks’ in her line of work. Sure, they were on the threshold of outright war with the Klingons, from what he understood. But that didn’t mean her psychological health could be put on hold until that was resolved. Because for people like her, there would always be another conflict, another distraction.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #7 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

When Alana was asked by Lt. Foster about not her records but her as the person and not even as an officer. The question posed of her for separating the two for him was one that she was unsure she wanted to fully unpack, despite being forced to come in the counseling office to assess her mental state. She was then asked who she was when she wasn't on duty. Another loaded question for her as since she'd arrived in this century, that person hasn't really existed to much extent.

The counselor was indeed poking and prodding at areas that she knew full well she was hiding and avoiding behind the veil of duty. But to admit that to the officer seemed difficult to say the least. She wondered if there were another way out of this but as she'd learned of this era's Starfleet, there was little she could do from getting a new identity, gender, and demotion due to technological differences from time differences.

She clasped her hands in front of her lap in a folded manner as she sat back and tried her damndest to relax. She could feel that he was some sort of empath and was probing her feelings if nothing else and was an intelligent individual who wouldn't look the other way unless she gave him something of real substance to chew on before she went on duty. Foreseeing other inevitable instances of this occurring in the future, she decided to cave and see where this took her. If nothing else, maybe it would help to have a ship assess her that was the enemy of the fleet much how she felt often.

She took a swig of the cola again to get a caffeine spike to her mind and to wet her lips before speaking. Alana brushed the auburn hair from her face to her shoulders again as she relaxed. "So. If I give you real and truthful information, do I have your word that I will not be hindered heavily today? I realize that I have issues. As I understand it, the ship's counselor has the power to relieve anyone, including the Captain of duty if they deem it necessary. Not wanting to tempt that, I am willing to comply to an extent. I also understand that you have the oath to not speak or report particulars when it comes to specifics of missions. I am prepared to divulge as much as I can on my mental state and why it's there."

Alana looked at him to see if he sensed the genuine nature of her response. "In regard to your initial question about separating the person and officer, I don't know if I can. I was a different person once. From another time..." Her face glazed over as if she was lost in thought before she proceeded. "I need your word that this information does not leave this room.

She waited on the Counselor's response before she proceeded. "I am originally from the 23rd Century. I was once Lt. Commander James Pierce, Executive Officer on the USS Eagle." She stared at her glass as she swirled it in her hand before proceeding once more. "When I went on my secret mission, I obtained a substance from the Klingon's that spilled on me after I went through a temporal anomaly. After that point, my shuttle ruptured and the compound spilled on me prior to transport when I was rescued by Starfleet here in the 24th Century nearly a year ago. So as you can see, I am doing the one thing I know-how, and working with what I do best."

Alana stood up and wandered over to a mirror, looking herself over, first in admiration and then in disgust. "While I was transformed into this beautiful woman, I was told due to the transporter, the compound and never having a recorded pattern buffer on file, my original body was lost and I am for all intents and purposes...stuck like this for the rest of my days. Living with it is something I've not yet become accustomed to."

Her feet paced back over to the chair as she mindlessly sat back down and folded her leg over the other. "So, what do you want to know that I haven't already told you? How I spend my off-duty time? I just sleep and work. It's all I know."

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #8 –
[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
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The mere task of separating one aspect of one’s psyche from another was, for some, an insurmountable one. It was a rather poetic truth that some people, simply, did not have this capacity. They had become so invested in one area of their being, that any other facet was nothing more but a frail solanum, hiding deep in the shadows of the grander calling. Which, in itself wasn’t really a cause for concern, or an abnormality needing rectification. In these cases, as he judged Alana to be, the mere task of separating oneself from the majority of what was deemed important – the meaning of life – was rather an exercise in nurturing those lost and forgotten aspects, that withered away in the dark. Or, as a first step, to acknowledge their existence.

And indeed, as he casually continued to monitor her inner voices and thoughts, he understood there was at least one little peony, hidden away behind a brick wall of duty and idealism. One that wasn’t specifically alluded to in her files, but which became more and more clear to him, as he coaxed forth thought processes that circled closer and closer around the dead body in the water. His telepathic ability like a predator, hooked on the scent of blood, as it dissipated into the distractions and evasiveness of her psyche. As Alana skillfully crafted an escape strategy from this very moment, as she would have from a Dominion prison.

But then, the wall cracked, and through shot a ray of light - of hope, really – that not only had her mind ease up, but her physical features as well. All the while holding on the vestiges of her rules, her protocols, her duty … and that of others, specifically: his. Dark eyes slightly narrowing at the divergence from the path of illumination, one more time, Stellan submitted to the scenic route, as long as there remained a promise to the desired destination. Therapy, in essence, was about the path the patient was willing to go, not the beaten track the counselor was laying out. It was a guideline, a map, the most. Like a rope, one could pull themselves along, if they so chose. But in the end, the journey was hers and hers alone.

“I take my doctor/patient confidentiality very seriously … as I do my impeachments.” he told her, a semblance of levity to the coattails of his words. One that was decidedly emphasized by a gentle wink of his dark lashes, framing obsidian orbs. “And I do hope to relieve people on diagnosed issues, rather than a lack of cooperation.” Which maybe sounded a little more ominous and threatening, as it had been intended to. But luckily he had the ability to send along a feeling of reassurance and comfort, across the telepathic ether. That may have felt like nothing but a randomly sparked emotion, in her mind, but a positive one, nonetheless.

Tilting his head to the side, like a puppy double-taking its master’s command, the officer brushed his lips together, teetering between lighthearted easing and serious assurance … ultimately opting for a mixture. “Thea … could you give us a minute?!” he prompted, eyes momentarily flickering to a corner of the ceiling, a chirp of acknowledgment all that was heard in terms of a reply. It wasn’t like there was any sort of record keeping. Not in the counseling offices. But the ship’s AI still had a habit of being aware of everything that happened aboard. He was even unsure of HOW much.

Diverting his undivided attention back to Alana, he ran the tip of his tongue against the inside of his teeth for focus. Listening to her narrations, the man pieced parts of her available history together like a puzzle, getting a clearer picture of her struggles. Even only because she let her inner self come to terms with them, for a moment. And from the dark blossomed a silver flower.

“Because one trauma alone is just no fun.” he told her, as she paced away, giving the situation the levity it needed, the hope, as he had any intention to help her through this. He could understand how that situation, that drastic change, paired with the irreversible, absolute nature, was gnawing at her psyche. But at the same time, nothing was really impossible, not in the mind, at least. Because nothing of it was real. And even with all their technological advances, mastering reality to a level previously impossible, magic even, the only real illusion was that of the mind. And that could be a rather powerful remedy. As it could be the worst ailment.

“It doesn’t really seem like you’re living with it, though, do you.” Stellan stated, narrowing his eyes once more to give the metaphorical question added analytical weight. “More like you’re fighting it, still.” he then added, hoping for the reassurance on her part that would spark a self-revelation, if there wasn’t one already. “The common notion is that Vulcan’s are the ones that really have the repressing of emotions and unwanted thoughts down to a science. But humans do have a capacity for it all the same, it’s just not a part of our culture.”

Readjusting his seat slightly, the dark-haired man looked at Alana intently. “You’re trying to move on by glossing your daemons over, you didn’t even want to tell me about them, because if someone else knows that makes it all the more real. It’s not just in your head anymore. But it’s a good thing, really. Because I am intent on helping you come to terms with the trauma, deal with it. It’s the only way one can move past an obstacle.”

Pulling his PADD back to attention he jotted down a few remarks once more, all the while starting to elaborate on his plan already. “What you will have to do is step by step discovering what drives you beyond sleep and work. I want to put you on a task list … mundane little things, that have nothing to do with your job. And you’ll try all of them, and then report to me your impressions. It will help us narrow down what the new you really cares about.”

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #9 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

The look from the counselor was troubling to Alana as she knew that she'd let slip some rather...delicate information that otherwise should never have been divulged. The same token, he seemed very interested in helping her to reconnect the shards of what her life had been previously with what she now was bestowed in this new era and life. That and coupling it with the fact that he couldn't tell a soul with the doctor-patient confidentiality was another checkmark in Foster's favor. His subtle joke about relieving officers on the merit of diagnosed issues startled Pierce as she'd much prefer to stay on duty rather than have nothing to devote her time to.

Foster's call for Thea to for lack of a better word...go away... was exactly what Pierce needed to feel some of the tension go away. She wasn't above help, but learning to trust others outside of Intelligence was a difficult matter in this century given how you never knew who was on the enemy team anymore.

Her legs still crossed, with her skirt touching the knee, she felt relaxed in the chair. Her hand reached for the glass and she took another swig of the soda before her, letting the caffeine rush hit her mind to sharpen it up for mental clarity, in more than one way, but also to re-energize herself with the needed ability to proceed with the quasi-interrogation.

Alana chuckled slightly as Stellan joked about her having more than one trauma attacking her psyche simultaneously. "No kidding..." she said with a smirk in an attempt to bring levity to the situation that'd plagued her for some time now.

Pierce listened in as Lt. Foster continued his conversation about how she really wasn't living with it but fighting the unfortunate circumstances that had created this need to only work and forget living. He was however right in that she was creating a Vulcan-like state of being. Locking away the emotions and glossing over her internal demons. She was about to interject when he had a PADD at the ready with information that clearly was meant to have her assess herself on varying degrees. Seeing the PADD being handed towards her was something she almost didn't want, knowing that then, she truly couldn't turn away anymore. It'd be an assignment and these types of tasks are things she couldn't refuse not only due to duty but personal OCD.

An arm reached forward as she leaned towards the counselor and grabbed the PADD. She observed the finer details and listened to him explain it to her in what he expected her to work on after their session was completed. "Honestly, I don't know what drives me anymore. I knew before I came to this century but now, I just want to make a difference."

She glanced down at the list in the PADD. Quietly whispering the contents to herself, "...Look in the mirror and accept myself using positive affirmations? ...Discover a hobby...Socialize with the crew... Make a friend... Learn more about this body and how to take care of it... Visit the Holodeck... Try a new wardrobe? You've got to be shitting me here." She put the PADD down, staring back at the other officer. "Anything else of note that may not be on this? I get you're trying to help, but I honestly have zero idea what this new me cares about anymore."

Pierce waited to see if there was anything else for the counselor to suggest before she had to go on duty and 'discover' her new self in her off time.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #10 –
[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
[Show/Hide]


Getting a little bit of tension out of those dainty features and closed up synapsis was a welcome shift in the overall dynamic of the session. It was the first obstacle to overcome in any therapy, to establish a sense of comfort and levity. Followed by a notion of trust and openness. Which would in turn lay the groundwork for measures to aid whatever ailment plagued said mind. And as an added benefit, he was slowly coming to understand what it was that Lana main issues were. It was a rather common theme, he found, among the stressed out, disillusioned crew of Starfleet’s most wanted: the clambering for purpose, when – ironically – they were probably on the most purposeful mission any man had ever undertaken. But as the saying went, it was hard to see the forest for all the trees.

Whenever sensing someone’s admittance, or submission (the two being awfully similar in effect) Stellan in turn felt a warm flush of satisfaction, spreading through is body like an ink drop in water. Not only was it vanity, that caused him to feel accomplished, but also signs of getting to the root issues, and imposing a realization upon the patient, as to what these were. A counselor could not fix someone, per say. They could not just go in there, cut the bad parts out, sow everything back up, and for all intents and purposes the patient would be fine. There were things Betazoid telepathy could do, by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, or aiding in uncovering dormant mementos. Or Vulcan’s doing some “house cleaning” with their mind-melds. But it was all just superficial. It was a Band-Aid on a festering infection. Fighting the symptoms, not the cause. True recovery only came at the hands of a guided and instructed individual themselves. Teaching them how to address and deal with the issue. Potentially aided by the above-mentioned therapies and supplemental medication. But the true healing had to come from within to be permanent. Or a semblance thereof.

Alana’s next line was interesting, in its unadulterated honesty. He noticed that she started to speak in turn, not thinking too much about what it would be that left her lips. Which was exactly the relaxed environment he had cared to foster. “And what was that? Your ‘drive’ before the incident.” He clarified, intent on hearing out of her what she had once considered her purpose, to shed light on what had changed, really. Or at the very least, to get a approximate sensation of what she felt like on the matter.

Taking in her reaction with insubordinate delight, Stellan sucked his cheeks in, to hide the pervasive smile, curling at his lips. Admittedly, some of the tasks weren’t really scientific, and merely aided to further the light air of the whole therapy. It wasn’t intended to be a chore, though he was fine with her considering it that way. The only thing he would be adamant about was the proper execution. “Well …” he chuckled lightly. “Your main issue seems to be coming to terms with the new you. And while all these tasks are distinctly cliché, in terms of feminine interests, the will serve us well in the first step of figuring out what you do and don’t like, about this new identity. We’ll use that as a jumping board to dive into more diverse matters of interest and purpose. Since as much as duty can be a great motivator, its ability to serve as a purpose in life is finite.”

Shifting gently in his seat, moving toward a notion that could potentially reign in the end of this particular session, Stellan betrothed all his attention on Alana, signaling that the time wasn’t up, if she wanted to elaborate more, in this first meeting. “Though there are cases where people have retained their mental-health throughout considering duty the only merit in their lives and devoting all their time and power to it. There are certainly more pointless things to devote to. Wouldn’t suggest to become a stamp collector, for example.”

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #11 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

Despite the counselor's best intentions, Pierce was unhappy, but that wasn't anything new. She knew that was due to the fact she'd been in this predicament on a variety of levels. Time travel and transporter accidents could do that to a person. Re-discovering one's place in the universe wasn't an easy task either and this Lt. Foster seemed to revel in the fact she had to essentially come to grips with it at a breakneck speed. Reality was here and it had unlocked the path before her. The counselors on the starbase were much more easily dissuaded from poking and prodding, but here, no such chance.

She glumly sat back, resting her head of crimson hair on the bench she was told to sit at not that long before. Alana felt that it was nearing time for duty and the day as it had started was likely going downhill from here. Not wanting to rish the revelation of being dismissed from duty she decided to err on the side of caution and at least humor the male counselor before her. She lifted her head and squinted her smokey eyes at her adversary as if sizing him up before the decision to speak struck her.

"I will take into consideration the terms set forth in this...list of requests for me to...explore my new form. I'm not happy about it in the slightest but I'll do it. I also understand the stance of duty. Having been time displaced has helped me realize that small factor."

She leaned forward, careful at the movement as to not give her comrade a show as she repositioned her legs, especially now that she's had to worry about such things. She held back a chuckle and smirk as Foster dropped the merits of being a lowly stamp collector. "That is true and it's given me something to consider. As much a I hate to say it, thank you."

Pierce stood upright now, straightening her attire before reaching forward to shake hands with Lt. Foster. "If that will be all, I have to meet in the Central Intelligence Suite for briefing on my new assigment. Am I dismissed?" she said displaying a questioning glance before she headed towards the door. She turned before exiting as the door slid open. "I'm sorry for my shortness with you. It was nice meeting you and I will give these recommendations a good try."

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #12 –
[ Lt. Foster | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Pierce
[Show/Hide]


Walking among the woman’s indignity and agitation, like a grove on fire, with the burning leaves raining down on you, was a somewhat idyllic sensation, despite of the comparison. People always considered it to be too quick, too sudden, too early … whenever they finally were forced to give into the notion of facing their issues. It wasn’t as much the fact of outside influence, however, but rather that the delusion of being fine was a floodwall that usually broke suddenly, not gradually. So this was where Alana found herself now, truth and awareness spilling around her feet like a tropical tide. But as the water level sunk, forth came a new path of hope and optimism, as the Red Sea parted before her. Away the murky, dark depth went, and the faint glimmer of assurance broke through the dark clouds above. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

And even when part of the admission came from her sense of duty, and the fear of Stellan interfering in her holding on to it, the counselor had little intent to dissuade her from such possible outcome. Whatever subtle pressure she needed to be open to therapy. So he nodded, casually, but appreciative, at her submission to his seemingly outlandish requests. The gentle Basic Instinct moment only so vividly registering with the telepath, since her mental restraints and worries basically acted as a giant red reminder of the action. But luckily he had the situational awareness to not let his male instincts overrule is sense of restraint.

“Well, I am glad.” Stellan replied with a conclusive nod, a gentle chuckle tucking at his thin lips towards her resistance to fully give into his way of treatment, letting his PADD tip screen up before playing it onto the table between them, where it shut of almost immediately.

“And as much as I hate to say it, gratitude is not necessarily a part of therapy.” he shrugged lightly, somewhat self-ironic, but clearly not entirely serious, as he got up from his chair to see the lady off like a gentleman. “But I appreciate it none the less.”

Nodding gently at her formal announcement of departure, as to indicate she was allowed to leave without repercussions to her duty – which still served as a mental life-preserver to her sanity right now – the tall man considered her ultimate departure to be a quiet endeavor. That was until her last comment caught him somewhat by surprise. A rather spontaneous intent, obviously, as there had been no long forewarning on her mind. Then again, he had also somewhat severed that particular connection already, as the official part drew to a close.

“Well, I expect personalized casual attire next time, then.” he smirked, in reference to one of the more irritating assignments on his list, he assumed. But getting amused by such mundane discomfort was, after all, his pleasure as a therapist.
 

Re: CH06: S [D03|0830] You shall take counsel in my soul

Reply #13 –
[ Lt. Alana Pierce | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 08 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] | ATTN: @stardust [Show/Hide]

She watched his smirk as he delivered this final farewell before she took her leave of him. "Well, I expect personalized casual attire next time, then."

Pierce was still slightly annoyed at the prospect of having to try something new. Hell, it'd been ages since she had been able to be comfortable in her own skin, let alone worry about what to wear casually. Typically, she wore attire that was duty uniform and rarely took time for herself. The thought to experiment was there though and the counselor only gave her more reason to try it if only for the fact that it was basically an order and encouraged.

She nodded slightly as if considering what she would even think of wearing or experimenting with. Might be something to get a fellow female's perspective on. Alana had heard there were counselors who were female on board and recently too. She sure as hell didn't want to be around Tessa for that experiment. "All I can say, is that I'll give it a try. I can't promise I won't come in a duty uniform though. But I will make the attempt to acquire a ...real... wardrobe."

The thought made her shudder. She knew she had the body of a model, but she didn't really care to show it off. Alana waved and stepped out the door awaiting the next time they'd meet.

-FIN-
 
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