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Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor


[ Ens. Isel Nix | Chief Counsellor's Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @P.C. Haring

Isel felt nervous as she strode out of the turbolift and down the corridor of Deck 11. The Vulpinian swept a hand through her white hair and let out a deep breath as she neared her destination, the scent of sickbay breafly filling her nostrils as the doors around the corner hissed open ahead of a crewman emerging into the corridor.

The scent of Sickbay was becoming too familiar to her of late, the former fighter pilot having frequented the medical facility far too often of late. As Isel rounded the corner and approached the doors, she found herself thankful that she was at least entering the place of her own power this time rather than unconscious and in critical condition.

Small victories.

As the doors hissed open to admit her the scent became more powerful, and Isel made a mental effort to ignore the smells of pain, fatigue and medications which swirled with the usual scent of a Starfleet facility. Focusing on her purpose for being there, Isel strode through the waiting room and approached the Reception Duty Station.

"Ensign Isel Nix to see Counselor Hathev." Isel said with a nervous smile for the nurse of duty. The Vulpinian shifted her feet as the nurse glanced at a PADD, then nodded at Isel and directed her to the second door along the wall.

Isel thanked the nurse and approached the doors, hesitating long enough to let out another long sigh and muttered "Here goes nothing..." before reaching out and punching the door chime with a slender, pale-skinned finger.

As the doors hissed open, Isel poked her head through the created opening and gave the room a quick scan before settling her mismatched eyes on the Vulcan within. She gave the Vulcan woman as cheerful a grin as she could and stepped across the threshold, brushing the front of her uniform unnecessarily.

"Hiya Doc! Ensign Isel Nix reporting for counselling!" Isel said in an attempt to seem cheerful. Inside she felt anything but, although this session was, in fact, happening at the Vulpinian's own request. She had a lot she wanted to sift through, much of it not in her official Starfleet records. "I've never really done this before so, uh, how do we do this? Do I sit on the couch, or do you just beam my brain out and pick it apart on the desk?"

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #1 –
[ Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Chief Counsellor's Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife‍ 

Hathev looked up from her terminal as the door chime rang and Ensign Nix presented herself.  The Ensign had the distinction of being Hathev’s first Vulpinian patient which in and of itself was no more or less meaningful than any other patient other than the fact that this was one of the few ‘firsts’ Hathev had noted for her career in almost a decade and a half.  She found an odd comfort in the reassurance that even this deep into her career, there were still new challenges to discover.

“Greetings, Ensign.  Please come in,” she said as she moved from her desk towards her chair.

The invitation was little more than perfunctory as the Ensign had already let herself in.

“A hemispherectomy is not typical course of treatment, in this case,” Hathev replied when her patient asked about how things worked.  “So I believe we can safely rule out surgery today,” she said in an effort to sound humorous.  Truthfully she was unsure whether or not she had been successful.

“Generally,” she said, this time providing a more serious answer to the question, “we will converse.  Typically the patient will direct the flow of the discussion and it will by my role to listen, and provide guidance.  In some cases, I do employ the use of Mind Meld as a therapeutic tool, but only after much discussion with the patient and mutual agreement.  As this is your first session not only with me, but in general, there are certain disclosures I must apprise you of.”

“First and foremost, what you and I discuss in this room is confidential and protected.  The protocols of rank and deference are left at the door.  You may speak as freely as you wish without fear of reprisal from any member of this crew.  You are, of course, free to share whatever you wish about these sessions with whomever you wish, but without your prior consent and absent a valid concern of safety, I am bound to maintain confidentiality.  The only circumstance under which I may violate that covenant is in the event I have a valid concern that you may be a danger to yourself or others around you, in which case I am obligated to take action.”

She paused a brief moment to let that sink in.  After so many years, this introduction had become second nature to her and while she understood the logic and necessity of these disclosures, she also had to acknowledge that it detracted somewhat from the therapeutic purpose.

“As far as what you ‘should’ do,” that is entirely up to you.  My goal is to put you at ease and make you as physically and emotionally comfortable as possible as we discuss and work through the issues that weigh on your mind.  Feel free to avail yourself of the replicator for any refreshment you may wish.  I am aware that you have a limited shape-shifting ability, and if you feel the need to change your form, you should feel free to do so.  There is no prescribed posture or position for you to adopt.  I have seen patients sit on the floor, lay upside down  with their feet at the top of their seat, and even bathe during a session.  In short, the only thing you ‘should’ do is to be yourself.”

Hathev settled in to her chair and observed Isel as she made herself comfortable.

“Do you have any questions of me before we begin?”

Once  Isel's questions were addressed, Hathev turned the conversation to matters at hand.   "What brings you to see me today?"

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #2 –
[ Ensign Isel Nix | Chief Counsellor’s Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @P.C. Haring
[Show/Hide]
Isel hesitated at Hathev’s assurance that a hemispherectomy would not be necessary, the Vulpinian finding the Vulcan’s injection of humour into her statement surprising. Isel took another step forward and stood just inside the doors, hardly hearing the hiss of the doors shutting as she listened to Hathev. The counsellor’s mention of confidentiality gave Isel pause, particularly the part about being obliged to report potential danger on Isel’s part.

Well, I guess we’ll see how that goes… Isel thought to herself with a soft sigh as Hathev paused for a moment. The Vulpinian’s mismatched eyes glanced quickly around the room, a nervous habit to check her surroundings, then settled on Hathev once more as the ship’s Chief Counsellor spoke anew. Isel found herself giggling slightly as Hathev described the various positions people had taken up during their own sessions, and took advantage of Hathev’s offer of changing forms, stooping to remove her boots. After giving her toes a wiggle once her feet were free, Isel kicked the boots over next to the door and stepped towards the couch opposite where Hathev had seated herself.

As she crossed the room, her posture shifted slightly, her neck craning forward as snow white fur sprouted from her skin. The shape of her face seemed to elongate, her nose turning black and her ears tilting upward and sprouting their own compliment of white fur. Her uniform seemed to accommodate the transformation with ease, the Isel’s uniform having been made from non-standard fabric  which allowed some stretch to better accommodate her shifting ability. The boots, sadly, had no such ability, which is why it had been necessary to remove them. The transformation was rapid, and Isel held her natural form by the time she seated herself on the couch, crossing her legs under her and folding her hands on her lap. Those hands were now covered in white fur, her fingers slightly elongated and tipped with harsh looking black nails which somewhat resembled claws.

Once settled, Isel shook her head at Hathev’s query as to whether she had any questions, then took a deep breath as the counsellor encouraged her to begin with what had brought Issel to see her today.

”To be honest, I don’t really know exactly why I came here. I guess I want to get my shit sorted, or…” Isel hesitated, glancing up from her hands to meet Hathev’s eyes. ”Sorry, Ma’am, I mean, get my mind sorted.” Isel shrugged, then pressed on. ”What I wanted to talk about isn’t exactly in my official Starfleet file. It’s on the record somewhere at Starfleet Intelligence, I guess.” It had to be since Andersson had been more than happy to pick some tidbits out of her file to blackmail her into joining this whole endeavour.

”Fucking Andersson…” Isel muttered softly, her lip curling slightly before she schooled her features back to calm.

As she continued, she spoke at a normal volume, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders as she dove in. ”I’m… uh… pretty fucked up right now, I guess. I’ve been in stasis twice in the past while, suffered major trauma which has me grounded and out of the Wolves and Tac CONN, and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do now.” Isel’s shoulder’s sagged as she continued, ”I don’t have anyone to turn to, because I ended my relationship with the woman I defected to Theurgy with, and most of the other people I knew are KIA. So, well, I guess I thought it might be worth trying to talk to you?” Isel gave Hathev another shrug, but pressed on. ”I have a fucked up past, and now it seems like I have no hope in the present. I think I just need some help figuring out what the hell I should do with myself.” Isel’s ears sagged to match her shoulders, the movement involuntary. ”I mean, I’m 54 for fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t feel like a helpless freakin’ pup who’s lost in the fucking woods!” Isel realized her ears were back now, her hands clenched into fists in her lap, and made an effort to soften her tone along with her body language. ”Err… Ma’am…”

OOC: Apologies for the delay in posting!

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #3 –
[ Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Chief Counselor's Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn:  @Fife‍

Hathev watched with practiced emotional detachment as Isel made shifted her shape and made herself comfortable, but she found it a fascinating thing to watch.  He had, of course, seen the training material and run the various simulations before and during the Dominion war focused on infiltration by the Founders.  But to see a metamorph up close and personal was an entirely different experience all together.  She was not frightened, nor did she regard her patient as some sort of specimen to be analyzed and tested.  But rather she felt a sense of awe at the sight before her.

Hathev listened intently as Isel began to unpack her thoughts, offering no reaction to the young woman’s vulgarities.  Rank and formality were, of course, left at the door.  The Vulcan was antiquated with the Ensign’s Starfleet record, as she was with the record of all her patients, but she felt no need to state this directly would risk de-railing her patient’s thought process.  So, instead she listened and remained silent until Nix stopped and corrected herself to fit into the unnecessary protocol.

“Your frustration is understandable,” Hathev said, validating Isel’s emotional outburst.  “It is one thing to be young and unsure as to what to do with your whole life head of you.  It can be equally disconcerting if not more so to find yourself in the middle of a career path only to find yourself changing direction, especially if the choice to do so was not made freely.”

Hathev paused, to allow the thought to settle in Isel.  “I am generally aware that you sustained an injury which has taken you off the active flight roster, though I am not privy to the medical details.  But I find it curious that you would refer to your past as a preface for the struggles you face ahead of you.  Do you believe your past history is somehow linked to your current struggle, your injury not withstanding?”

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #4 –
[ Ensign Isel Nix | Chief Counsellor’s Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn:

Isel took a deep breath as Hathev asked the question about whether she believed her past was somehow linked to her current struggle.

Well, here goes…

”You… could say that…” Isel began, hesitant despite having already decided even before arranging this appointment that she would hold nothing back. Her ears unconsciously laid back against her head in an outward sign of discomfort, and her shoulders sagged momentarily before she squared then the faced the Chief Counsellor from where she sat on the couch. ”Buckle up, Doc. It’s going to be a bit of a bumpy ride.”

”The simple fact is that I wouldn’t be on this ship if it weren’t for my past. I was… given incentive to defect from the Dauntless by an old friend who had contacts in Starfleet Intelligence. Admiral Andersson passed along a tidbit of information or two so that she could blackmail me into helping her.” A bitter taste has risen in Isel’s mouth at the memory, and the sense of betrayal that she still felt from the incident, though not as acutely as she once had. ”I guess you could say that, while I believe in what the Theurgy and her crew are doing, I didn’t exactly come over to this side by choice.”

Isel unfolded her legs and rose from the couch, crossing the room to the replicator as she continued. ”I left my old life behind e six years ago. Changed my name, changed my identity, and tried to live like a better person.” She paused in her narrative to order a coffee form the replicator, then turned to Hathev. ”Can I get you anything while I’m up?”

After waiting for Hathev’s response, Isel retrieved her own drink and whatever Hathev might have ordered, and returned to the couch, returning to her previous position but shifting back to her Vulcine form, her fur retracting into her skin and her face once more becoming human-like. She gave Hathev a cheeky wink as she sipped the hot coffee, savouring the bitterness of the beverage. [color]”The one downside of being a coffee fiend. It’s hard to drink from a mug in my natural form.”[/color]

Placing her cup down on the table in front of her, Isel leaned back into the couch cushions and sighed. ”Sorry, I know I’ve been vague so far. I promise myself that I wouldn’t hold anything back when I asked to have a counselling session. It’s just difficult after being secretive about my past for so long…” Isel reached forward and took up her mug again, feeling antsy suddenly, and took another sip. Then, cradling her mug in her furless hands on her lap, she dove in.

”The truth is, before I joined Starfleet I was an operator for the Orion Syndicate. I was a high level enforcer and the right hand within one of its cells. That was my life for nearly 30 years.” Isel felt odd, being so frank about it to someone she ahrdly knew. In fact, there were only 2 others she’s told about her past. One had been a friend, dead now, and the other her former lover who had blackmailed her. ”I didn’t choose that life. But that doesn’t change the fact. It’s not mentioned in my personnel file, but Starfleet Intelligence was more than aware of it when they let me join. I’d been an informant before I left the Syndicate.” Isel paused, shaking her head. ”I’m being vague again. Sorry. Old habits.” She raised her gaze from the contents of her mug to look at the counsellor. ”I’ll elaborate, but I guess that’s already a bit of an info dump. Any questions so far before I dive in further?”

Sorry for the delay in getting my response up!

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #5 –
[ Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Chief Counselor's Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn:  @Fife‍ 

Hathev listened intently as Isel began her explanation.  The Vulcan was familiar with Andersson, though only by name and even then only because she had been in on various senior staff meetings since coming aboard.  It did not immediately track how Isel had been coerced into coming on board Theurgy, and the pilot paused her narrative to make use of the replicator, while offering Hathev anything.  It was not in the Vulcan’s nature to have her patients wait on her but she considered that given how out of place Isel was already, allowing her this kindness might help put her at ease. 

So, she requested and received her preferred blend of Vulcan tea and made a point to thank the Ensign for her trouble.  Once Isel had re-settled herself, and returned to her narrative new pieces seemed to fall into place and while Nix had not confirmed as much directly, at least not yet, Hathev surmised that Admiral Andersson had threatened to expose Nix’s background with the Syndicate if she resisted the transfer to Theurgy.

For the second time she apologied for her vagueness and when she paused to prompt Hathev for any questions she might have for her, the Vulcan finally spoke up.

“You need not apologize, Isel. I do have some questions, but I think it best that I allow you to continue before I pose them.”

There was a therapeutic reason for this beyond the obvious idea that she might answer the questions Hathev had as she continued her narrative.  Additionally it was logical to allow the Isel to unfold the narrative in her own way in her own time.

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #6 –
[ Ensign Isel Nix | Chief Counsellor’s Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @P.C. Haring

Isel nodded and sipped her coffee, steeling herself for an unpleasant trip down memory lane. She had almost hoped the counsellor would ask a question, anything to put off talking about herself, her past, or what she had done. Talking about such things was her reason for being there, of course, but now that the moment had come she found herself hesitant.

”Ok, I’ll start from the beginning, I guess. When I was still young, around 21,” Isel blinked, then looked up from the contents of her mug at Hathev, ”21 is still considered young by my people’s standards, I was still just a pup.” A slight smile, quirked one corner of Isel’s lips into a lop-sided grin, ”I still am, technically. I never underwent the Vulpinian right of passage to adulthood. Huh…” Isel shook herself back to the present moment. ”Sorry, I get distracted sometimes. Anyway, when I was 21, my mother and I were kidnapped by some fucking Ferengi who were looking for easy profit, and sold on the Orion slave makets. My mother and I were separated, bought by different masters, and I never saw her again.” Isel sipped her coffee, savouring the taste as she took a moment to remember being separated from her mother. The memory seemed distant, another life. In a way, she supposed it was. ”My father had been killed 5 years before that in a Vulpinian colonial conflict. He’d been a combat pilot. So, after I was sold, I found myself alone, property of a member of the Orion Syndicate. She’d bought several slaves, and we were all fitted with shock anklets so we couldn’t run away. Then she decided to make an example, and used a Bolian kid’s anklet to fry him to death. She did it slowly, until she got bored, so we’d see him suffer and scream as she made her point.”

Isel found herself surprised at the level and emotionless tone with which she recounted the incident. As a young slave, she’d been utterly terrified. ”I still remember what Analla said after he died… Know that I care not for any of you. I am not your mother. I am not your friend. You are property, mere things to be used as I see fit. And know that I will not hesitate to discard you should you displease me or cease to be of use.” Isel leaned back and sipped her coffee, then chuckled softly. ”So, I made myself useful to her. I knew something of a ship’s systems, since I’d spent a good deal of my youth tinkering with engines and systems with my father. Then I learned languages, specifically Fed Standard and Romulan, since she operated on the border with the Romulan Star Empire, learned how to manage a ship’s weapons, business transactions, and acted as a confident and bodyguard for her. Then, eventually, she freed me and I became her lover and business partner.” Isel grinned at Hathev mischievously ”Then I turned informant for Starfleet Intelligence, and eventually defected, stealing three child shave’s she’d bought and blew up a large chunk of her base of operations. Didn’t get her, sadly, but I definitely hit her where it hurt, right in the profit margins.”

”Before I defected, though, I was involved in some pretty shady shit. Illegal gambling, smuggling, kidnapping, piracy, murder and assassination, trafficking people, prostitution.” Isel sighed, shaking her head. ”I always hated those last two. I didn’t care about killing people, stealing, or most of the other shit. But I’d been sold into slavery, so I think maybe it just hit close to home. And prostitution, well…” Isel’s upper lip curled into a sneer. ”I hated dealing with that shit.” Isel blinked, then leaned forward to regard Hathev. ”I think that might have been the final straw that made me try to kill her.” 



OOC: I’m so sorry for the long delay! I’m afraid work and the holidays have had me bogged down.

Re: Day 10 [0930hrs.] The Fox and the Counsellor

Reply #7 –
[ Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Chief Counselor's Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn:  @Fife‍ 

Hathev remained still in her seat as she took in Isel’s narrative.  The Vulipan in front of her was the first patient she’d had who had ties to the Orion Syndicate.  She’d had more than a few whom she suspected, but no one until now had been this open with her.  The Vulcan knew the Syndicate by reputation only and knew of Starfleet’s general effort to curtail their activities.  It was logical to assume Federation Security would jump at the chance to turn a member of the organization.

The Vulcan considered the activities and crimes that Nix to which Isel had admitted and for which would have had to receive clemency from in order to be permitted to serve in Starfleet.  Illogical though it may be, Hathev was not surprised to hear that it was not the targeted killing that had been the ‘final straw’ for Isel, but the acts of prostitution and when Isel highlighted that as a a cause for her changing loyalty, the counselor took the opportunity to pose her first meaningful question of the session.

“Why do you think it was, Isel?  What was it about the acts of prostitution that pushed you over the edge?”

Hathev suspected she knew the answer already, but even if she did, it was important that Isel give voice to it.
 
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