Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

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Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

June 05, 2019, 09:15:45 PM

[Blue Tiran | Just the Two of Us | Reconnecting | New Balance | By Your Side, I Am Home]

Into Blue Depths
March 13, 0900
Aldean Mountain Outskirts

The clear mountain air was exactly the right kind of medication for Blue Tiran. To be away from the ship, was a little hard, as there was yet so much work to do. But, she knew that this moment, this time together would be good for her and Ranaan. After all they had been through, the horrendous loss of one another, their stressful reuniting, and their decision to stay on with the Theurgy, she knew they needed to breathe a little bit. When Ranaan had brought up taking a little time off-ship she had immediately told him that she would shove a fistful of sand up his fucking asshole and grind it in if he thought for one fucking second they were going to the beach. He hadn't seemed surprised, most of their dalliances on Earth in the past had usually been to the hot hub of Brazil. There had been the one time in the hot hell of Peru, but she had been promised something with a cooler climate for their next trip and so they scoured the topography of the planet and found that they could rent themselves a small cabin up in the mountains. Trails to walk, waterfalls to enjoy, seclusion and nature.

They couldn't be away long, if the rate of pings on their combadges told of anything. The near-constant pinging was almost a sound track to their lives in Quarters and without these days. Both of them equally annoyed and yet at the same time enjoying that they were busy and actually needed. The problem was it allowed Blue to hide more of her feelings and emotions instead of confronting them head on like she should be. She was able to keep herself busy.

Now though, there was no hiding. She couldn't hide her anxiety when he walked out of the room, she couldn't hide how she pinched her scalp, she was trying to though but Ranaan wasn't stupid. Though, the saving grace for both of them was that she was seeing Hathev and it was actually helping. Though she wouldn't admit it, she had a feeling Ranaan could sense it with his mental abilities.

Right now though, as the morning sun burned off the high mountain fog, the two of them walked together on one of the many hiking trails. He had a backpack full of their shit. Water, a small replicator, some snacks, first aid, and her drawing pad with pen. He wouldn't let her bring her padd, they had nearly had a fight about it til he reminded her that if she brought it she would just end up working and they wouldn't actually get any shit done. He had been right, it had been hard enough to leave Albert back on the Theurgy without her. But, it had been necessary and Blue was glad they were getting some time to bond with one another instead of her fighting Albert daily.

There was loose gravel here and there, crunching underneath the boots they wore. Unlike her first hiking trip, Blue did not wear shorts, but instead a pair of jeans and hiking boots. Never let it be said that Blue didn't learn from her past mistakes. As they walked, her hand was held in his own. It had started with him helping her over a large rock that had fallen some time ago in the path they were walking. But, when she was over it, she hadn't let go and they had just begun walking hand in hand. Her long curled masses of hair was pulled up and out of her way by a large bun with a tie around it though true to it's normal -fuck you attitude- small curling tendrils still escaped to have a life of freedom.

The black tank top that Blue wore showed off the muscle tone that was slowly returning through her work almost non-stop in Engineering. She was glad for it though, to be back and work, and with Albert starting to actually leave her side and do his own shit, it was harder to ping him about Ducote's location all the time. Though, she had recently merged his tracking device to her PADD, she hoped that he wouldn't find out or he would probably start to worry about her again. Out here at least, she could keep him at hand, literally, and enjoy his company without anyone fucking about them. They had aliases and all the fucking paperwork that made it seem like they were allowed to be on the planet but she didn't think it was all that important to bust out every fucking second of the day. She would only use that shit if absolutely necessary.

The sound of rushing water brought a bit of a smirk to Ranaan's face, and Blue reveled in it's appearance. There had been such few reasons to see him smile lately and it was nice again to see it. She knew leaving Earth and Brazil behind so fully would weigh on him heavily. He actually had a family he cared about, whether he and his father would ever make amends was a different story, but she had left nothing she cared about behind. She had really enjoyed getting to know Ratela and she had really liked when the woman told her that she was family to them and when she was ready she could call her mom. Blue regretted that she hadn't been ready during the last visit because now she would probably never get the chance to tell the woman in a single word how much her presence and acceptance meant to Blue.

Thing was, Blue hadn't actually spoken about her time on the Versant, not really. Ranaan wanted her to tell someone, even if it wasn't him, but she wanted it to be him. He was her best friend, her other half, her soul mate, her fiance, and so much more. He was the one that saw her through the haze of hatred and rage, he was the one that understood her no matter what, and the one that had helped cultivate her into an actual fucking person again. She wanted to tell him, and her stomach twisted and turned with the thought that this vacation would be a good time to do it. Just the two of them, no pressure from the external people. No one to interrupt them, hopefully.

She still woke up at night, sometimes, looking for him. When she cried out his name, he was there with his arms holding her until she quit shaking and went back to sleep. Sometimes it was silent, and she lay there watching his face until her eyes couldn't stay open any longer and she drifted back off. Sleeping was no longer side by side, it was her almost completely on top of him with his hand in her hair. When she moved, she woke up without him and feared he was gone again. Those weren't gone yet, those were the worst nightmares. The others she could silently struggle through, the horrors, and knowing what happened to the people down there. But, it was the loss of him that hit her the hardest and though he was back there was this doubt in the back of her mind that wouldn't leave her the fuck alone.

As they turned the corner, the waterfall was to the side, and it was glorious. A falling cascade of golden water made this way by the sunlight. As it fell into the large bronze colored pool with it's dark rocks and native aquatic life. Blue smiled, her eyes took in the scene. As much as she loved work and as hard of a time as she had putting her fucking work down, she loved being out in nature so long as it included Ranaan.

“You're not going to jump from the mother fucking cliff this time.” she stated as she looked over at him with a shit eating grin. Remembering in P eru when they had found the waterfall they had been above it that time, and he had taken a running leap off the fucker and scared her half to death. She had cursed him out a blue streak before they decided to enjoy the waterfall in a completely different way. This waterfall, they were at the base, and it was beautiful. It was good for Blue's soul. She felt at ease here, which was the hope when she picked out their destination this morning after looking at the local maps with Ranaan over an early cup of coffee and twinkie pancakes.

Blue bent over and untied her boots stepping out of them and chucking the socks on top she rolled up her jeans as far as she could, almost to the knee, and stepped into the cool water. The smile on her face was lovely as her hair finally gave up trying to behave. The tie that she had used snapped and the whole mass of curls fell almost gracefully down. In this climate, there was no frizz, unlike Peru and Brazil, and so the curls were supple and bouncy as they did so framing around Blue's face, shoulders, and back.

“It feels amazing, Ran!” she called out and quickly rid herself of the tank top she had been wearing tossing it to the edge of the pool before unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans. Navigating wet feet and legs out of denim was tricky and she nearly fell three times before getting them off and tossing them to the side as well. She wore a simple black bra and panty set, nothing fancy, but then Blue wasn't known for fancy. She still remembered the time she had straightened her hair once, and Ranaan had not even recognized her at first, Blue was normally just Blue, take her or leave her you got what you got.

She turned around to face him and then let her legs give out so that she was under water for a moment before she came up floating in the pool. Her eyes stared up at the golden morning sky, her hair floated about her like an inky mass of black and blue, but the smile on her face was unmistakable.

“They don't make holodecks like this.” she said more to herself than him.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #1 – June 27, 2019, 02:00:53 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Eastern Trail | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime Outskirts | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

Ducote had deliberately set the transporter coordinates in the foothills of the mountain near the Aldean capital, partly because they were still close enough to call for help if they needed it, and partly because he'd seen a walkable route on the map, a marker near the top that the Aldean government could use, and the fact that it wouldn't need an entire team to pull it off. It had seemed perfect to drag Blue dirtside. It had felt a little strange at first - 'Hi, I'm your new First Officer, but you see I had some shore leave days saved up and I'm just itching to use them' was going to be an inevitable part of the scuttlebutt - but there were few downsides to doing it.

It was a hard day's hike up the slope, with him carrying most of the weight due to his better health. The walk would do them both good; Blue needed the constitutional, and Ducote needed the exercise... even if the 'cabin' he'd promised awaited them at the peak was more like 'old weather station'. Part of getting the sign-off, in truth. The Aldeans provided cover documents... which was an easier habit to slip back into than Ducote had anticipated - he very much thought he'd left his undercover days behind him. There was a certain effect that it could have on a person long-term that he had never quite been comfortable with.

The after-effects were obvious even now, if one knew where to look. His practised ability to dissemble - upon which his life had depended more than once - had permanently diffused into his everyday body language and expressed attitudes. Even now, Blue thought she needed him more than the other way round, for instance. It was something even he, always subconsciously dissembling away as he was, had trouble really thinking about. Let alone actually expressing it to Blue so she could understand. Come to think of it, he hadn't even told his therapist, Hadiya.

Those times were, of course, classified.

Tramping hand-in-hand up the mountain was a salving experience for him. The physical contact helped his empathy overcome her still-flickering barriers, and restored a lot of the mental link he'd enjoyed for the year or so before their enforced recent separation. In a nod to the last time he'd taken her up a mountain or two, she was even in long pants this time. He'd chuckled wryly when he saw them, earning himself a slug in the shoulder and a warm-hearted insult. Alas, no dermal regenerator parties in the evening to come.

Still, though, beyond the usual look-at-thats and watch-your-steps (and the unavoidable pings from the ship for one or the other of them - this, of course, wasn't technically a holiday), the climb was a fairly quiet one. There was almost too much to say, to ask, and the weight of questions behind his lips had silenced them. It would come, he was sure. In the meantime, they enjoyed the alpine forest and glimpses of the desert landscape beyond through the trees.

Later in the day, though, as they neared the peak (though still with some hundreds of metres left to go), they came across a waterfall pool. Memories of their first shore trip to Peru came forth... mostly the look on Blue's face as he had fallen backwards, cruciform, off a cliff into a similarly-deep pool there. He'd made it up to her afterwards, though. They had made full use of the cool water that day.

"You're not going to jump from the motherfucking cliff this time," Blue said, as if reading his mind. He chuckled, then made a melodramatic gesture and gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Oh, alright then... you know how much I love cliff diving, after all..."

She waded in, declared the water satisfactory, and then set about stripping out of the rest of her clothes. He laughed a bit at that, though not unkindly. "Didn't you get that order a bit wrong?"

His shoulders settled with relief as he set down the heavy pack, and he luxuriated in the sensation of his torso stretching out as he pulled his own shirt off. The wrist-mounted communicator was perched atop the pack, before he unlaced his boots and stripped down to his own underwear. Then he shrugged and took those off, too. No one around for kilometres, and he'd only have to dry them later anyway.

As Blue submerged herself, Ranaan waded into the water too. It was cold, but the pair of them were warm from the climb, and the current was just enough to massage their muscles before any aches set in. He dove under, surfacing next to her, and pushed his hair out of his face as she said, "They don't make holodecks like this."

"None they mount on Starfleet ships, anyway. But a replica isn't the original..." He paddled around behind her and snaked his arms around her waist, and rested her head on his shoulder as they both looked out over the vista afforded them now that the mists had been burned off. He kissed her cheek just by her ear. "Love ya, Blue..." he said quietly. "I'm not sure what I'd have done if I never saw you again."

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #2 – June 30, 2019, 04:10:34 PM

[LCdr Blue Tiran | Something in the Air | Finding Gravity | This is Totally a Fucking Vacation | Us Time]
@Top Hat

Floating, felt wonderful. She knew, that she could go into a holodeck and turn off gravity any time she wanted to float, but it wasn't the same. It most definitely wasn't the same. She loved the way that the waves of the pool undulated underneath your body. Shifting your body around as it wanted to. She loved the feeling of feeling your weight despite the water, and yet knowing that you were floating without it. She loved the way that the water kissed against the skin as it broke over her pale form. One that was gaining weight back, with the sheer amount of caloric intake that she went through in a day. Plus, with all her work, the muscles that she had worked years on honing were starting to show against her pale skin again. She knew that Ranaan approved because, his eyes told her what he wished for, but also, because he had started less hovering and more allowing her the freedom that she needed to heal.

Though, she had been unable to, as of yet, let Albert stop tracking him. She still needed to know where he was on the ship. Not all the time. In the beginning it was often. And it was most definitely when she came home to their Quarters and he wasn't there. She suffered from panic attacks, when he was out of her sight for too long, and when she found him still alive, she felt really fucking stupid for it. She was trying hard though, even going to therapy and actually working on it now. Actually, talking a bit, she liked Hathev, they understood each other and Hathev (for a Vulcan) was exactly the kind of person that Blue needed to help her through all the shit she had been holding onto for so long.

Yesterday, she had only had one panic attack. Luckily, it was in her office, and luckily no one but Albert was witness to it. How she had been incapable of breathing, and Albert had been about to alert Medical. He assured her that Mister Ducote was just doing his duties and was currently on the Bridge overseeing the coordination efforts with the Aldean Docking crew for the care and the leave of various crew members seeking entertainment. She had ended up on the floor, behind her desk so she couldn't be seen, clutching the shirt of her uniform in her first as Albert, of all fucking people, helped her through the panic attack....

Quote

It had come on quickly this time. One moment she had been at her desk, doing her work, and working up some shit, when she came across one of the officers that had been killed in action. She looked at it, an Ensign Roger Ducante. Only when she read the name it hadn't looked like Ducante, it looked like something else entirely.

“A.. Al... Albert.” she called out, as her lungs tightened against her, betraying her need for air.

[Miss Blue, may I assist you, you seem in peril.]

“Wh... where is .. Where is.. Du... Ducote.” she spluttered out.

[A moment.] Albert took a second to pinpoint the exact location of the Commander. [He is currently on the Bridge.]

Blue's lungs were screaming, and she clutching her chest. She slid out of her chair, and sat on the floor of her office behind her desk. Hoping that she wouldn't be seen. It was the worst place to have one of these. She gasped softly. A little air for her lungs, but she still couldn't inflate.

“Again.” she hissed out.

[Mister Ducote remains on the Bridge, Miss Blue.]

The owl lowered himself down and perched on the seat of her chair, her Department head jacket laying over the back of it haphazardly where she had tossed it when she came in here earlier to get some shit done.

[Miss Blue, are you quite all right? You seem to be having another attack. If your lungs do not inflate properly in a another minute, I will inform Medical you are requiring of assistance.]

“Don't.” she hissed in with air.

[I shall contact Miss Hathev.]

“Don't you.. fu.. fucking da..dare.” she cried out as she curled her forhead down onto her knees where they were pulled up against her chest and concentrated on her breathing. Her fingers slid into her mess of curls and began to pinch the scalp there. She had been needing to do it a whole lot less but it was what helped her focus and get through her panic. Finally, the ache in her chest began to subside and she was able to finally breathe. The pinching helped.

[Miss Blue, your distress seems complete. I will not have to contact Miss Hathev afterall.]

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

Strong arms came around her and pulled her close. Out of the float and into his arms. The perfect place to be, and the perfect place to forget about her last flip out. Luckily, they hadn't happened in public and most of them were usually in her Quarters. That had been the first and only one that had happened out on the job. She didn't know how she was going to get through a fucking mission without thinking he was going to fucking disappear again. She knew, that he was alive. Most of the time, she was starting to get to the point where she knew that he was alive and took for granted that he would be there every night when she got home or when his shift ended. Luckily, they were both Alpha shift. But, sometimes, the fear grabbed ahold of her quicker than she expected and it was hard for her to control herself. She was getting better, they were less, but she hoped one day the would be freakin' gone.

Ducote kissed her cheek, and told her that he loved her. Blue's heart melted and the smile on her face warmed as they looked out down over the mountain. You could see the city in the distance, but Blue hadn't wanted to be around that many fucking people. She liked the moments she could have Ducote all to herself, and this was one of those. He told her that he wasn't sure what he would have done if he had never seen her again. Blue leaned her head against his for a moment, at a complete loss for words. Part of her knew she could create a chasm with the right words. `Work like you did when I fucking disappeared?` but no, Blue wasn't a cold heinous bitch she loved this man enough she would lay down her life for him if given the chance.

“I love you, Ranaan. I know I don't say it enough.” she admitted softly, her eyes on the horizon of wildlife between them and the city. “Every minute without you was my own personal nightmare.” she admitted softly, her fingers brushing against the taut tanned skin of his forearm. She turned her head just enough to kiss him at his jawline lifting up slightly to do so since she was shorter than him. Without the water to hold it up, her soaked curls were amazingly heavy on her neck but she didn't care. She was not girly, like at all, but the one thing she did do was keep her hair long. She worked her arm up around his neck to pull him down just enough that their lips met in this awkward position. Kissing him soundly.

No one was around, and no one needed them, well... it wasn't going to be an emergency anyway. She had no fucking clue how he had gotten them both a couple days of shore leave but she was about to fucking ask about it. She just enjoyed being with him, off the ship, and with those hands of his exploring her still healing body. She turned fully in his arms and one of his hands found her mass of wet curls deepening the kiss. It was long, and beautiful, and perfect. As it broke, and she really didn't want it to, but she needed a little bit of air she looked up at him.

“No one to interrupt us here.” she whispered her desire to him.

It seemed that was all it took. Suddenly, it seemed, there was a bra and panties floating in the pond over towards the rocky shallow area. Blue and Ranaan having some together time, she was able to be loud and enjoy herself. They were able to take their time, and really reconnect in ways that they hadn't recently because of work and Blue's holding back because of various mental issues. She didn't even think about the rape she had witnessed on the Versant or anything, which was a nice reprieve because that liked to pop into her head at horrendous moments. She tried not to let it bother her though, she hadn't been the victim, luckily.

When they had finished, twice, they sat in the shallow waters. Her hand in his, sitting beside him, leaning against him. From the hips down they were sitting in the water as it lapped against their collective backs. Her hair was curling again, without the weight of the water to keep it straight, and it was splayed across her back and his shoulder because of her head on his shoulder. Her fingers played against the skin of the back of his hand. Fiddling with his engagement ring.

She was quiet, but she knew that he could tell she was working up towards something. Something that she had been thinking about after being reunited. But, also, she was not very good at speaking her emotions. Anger and rage she was familiar with but putting herself out there was always a study in effort. She knew that he was waiting for it though, and she knew that they had both changed so much. However, instead of changing for the worst she felt that it had just reminded her of what was important in life.

This man beside her.

“I .. “ she began and felt his body perk up as he was ready to listen to what she had to say. She didn't look at him from the scenery as she continued. “I want to get married.” she admitted, firmly, resolutely. She wasn't unsure about it, if she was there wouldn't be a ring on her finger. “I know that we're already engaged, that's not what I meant it's just.. we were waiting, you know. For the church and your dad and .. mom and stuff. But, now that's not .. not going to be a thing. And... after all that shit that's happened. I don't want to be...”

She sought for the right words that she needed to say what she wanted to say. Ranaan was always good with diplomacy and words, and Blue always felt shit at all of the above. She sighed softly.

“I guess, what I really want is.. to be... as completely with you and .. uhh, fuck this is fucking difficult to put words to.” she sighed, and pulled her head off his shoulder and looked over at him, directly in the eyes. Her blue to his dark deep brown.

“I want to get married, if .. if you want. Before we leave Aldea. I don't want to like.. change my fucking last name or anything but we could get Ives to do it.. probably. I just.. I'm tired of waiting. Because.. what if there isn't tomorrow? What if we lose each other again? I .. I want to be your wife. I don't want anything else stopping us. I mean.. unless you aren't read and then I mean.. I'm fine being whatever I just.. fuck.. this is stupid.”

Blue put her face in her hands trying to take a deep breath and just.. figure out how to be herself again. Sh ehated putting herself out there, being vulnerable. And right now, her heart was in his hands and he probably wouldn't even want to get married right now. He would probably rather wait, they might eventually see his parents again, and they may get to Earth again. He may not be ready after all the shit they had been through. He may be less ready than before, after all the shit.

Now she had just put herself out there to get crushed, but, hopefully, that wasn't going to be the case.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #3 – July 16, 2019, 01:47:15 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Eastern Trail | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

Since their reunion, things had been a little up and down for Ranaan and Blue, like cresting a wave in the ocean to slide down into the trough before the next one. They had both seen too much - though she had experienced by far the more harrowing time - only to be thrown in with the Theurgy of all ships. Things were strained, but they were both far more interested in finding out how to make things work than letting their new frictions tear them apart.

It was hardest, though, when he realised the tiny kernel of resentment she felt deep within, in those scant moments he could intuit deeply enough with his empathy in the flashes she allowed him, was for him. It fit with a couple of tiny off-hand remarks she had made here and there - with no malice at all, mind you - presumably because he hadn't had to deal with the brand of hell to which she had been subjected. He couldn't blame her for the involuntary reaction at all, even if it did run the risk of reigniting his old survivor guilt.

God, what I wouldn't give for another couple of hours talking this out with Hadiya.

"I love you, Ranaan. I know I don't say it enough."

"Well, you wouldn't want to spoil me..." he rumbled.

"Every minute without you was my own personal nightmare."

He was quiet a moment, hugging her just a little tighter. "You've always been too strong to let a nightmare stop you, though..." Then he smiled, enjoying the peck on his jaw and the hand snaking its way around his neck to turn his head so she could kiss him properly.

"No one to interrupt us here..."

The ocean metaphor held true for them in other ways, too. More than half their sex life seemed spent in a shower, or a tub, or a waterfall lake like this one. The sun was a little higher in the sky (and the birds in the trees a little quieter) by the time they propped themselves up on a conveniently-shaped rock to sit and recover. The sun wasn't particularly overbright, but Ducote noticed his skin was already browning; probably the high UV after the Custodian had damaged the planet's atmosphere. He'd end up running the dermal regenerator over Blue's exposed skin by the end of the day, no doubt.

Blue fiddled with his ring, thinking hard about something. He didn't try to co-opt her - even if they both enjoyed his empathy for the sake of easier communication, there were some things that she preferred to make the effort to say. They meant more to her because they were difficult to say; he didn't want to rob her of that.

When she started, he was glad he kept his tongue and just held her hands. When she finished and buried her face in her hands to hide, he sighed - but with a smile on his face.

~Oh, Trouble..~

He lifted her chin and pulled her into a hug, her slender frame sliding into his lap. "We'll talk to Ives when we get back to the ship. Nothing would make me happier!" Ducote leaned back a little, to see her face again. "Life's too short to keep putting it off. This whole mess has proved that."

He kissed her. When they broke apart again, he looked off thoughtfully... and with a twinkle in his eye. "Man. Mom's gonna be pissed she missed it," he chuckled, then drew her closer again, his voice lowering a little. "Listen, Blue... I don't want you to feel like I'm gonna desert you, ever. I..."

Ducote paused, evidently wrestling with something himself. "I find it as hard as you do to talk about things. But you batter through... I got real good at swerving a hard topic. I just move to the next one, like a fish in a reef. So, what I'm trying to steer at here is that you are more important to me than you could know. You got me out of my own head, you kept me sane even when you were driving me mad on the Endeavour in those early days. I- you might think I don't need you as much as you do me, but it isn't true. I was on the verge of snapping, just falling apart, but then I heard your name from the Versant... I'm just brittle without you, Blue Tiran."

His heart thudded in his chest. He'd just faced down the Borg twice in a week and somehow telling a more entire truth for the first time was the scarier thing for him.

The cold water lapped at them, the mists from the waterfall keeping their upper bodies cool under the rising sun, forming a jagged rainbow where the rays sliced between the trees.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #4 – July 20, 2019, 08:37:22 PM

[Blue Tiran | The Big Pay Off | Back to the Walk | At Least it's not Hot | A Future for Us]
@Top Hat

Those two words.

That name.

Everything, rushed into her at once. She still remembered all the dreams she had where that phrase was uttered. Where he called her Trouble, a name that only they knew. He never said it out loud. She still remembered the day that she surprised him. He knew that she had transferred to the Endeavour for him because her jacket had come across his desk to accept and find space for. However, he hadn't known she would be at the space station waiting for him when the ship docked. She still remembered waiting for him, the leather jacket, the blue jeans, leaning against the railing. When he came down at the end of the crew departure (always one of the last to leave) he had felt her, found her, and that was the first time he had ever called her Trouble. She had walked right up to him and kissed him soundly, because it had been months since they had seen each other not on a view screen and it was all she had thought about. Well not all, but a great deal of it. To whistles and cat calls from the people that knew Ranaan best, she hadn't paid attention to any of it, and only just enjoyed knowing they weren't going to separate any time soon again.

Now, again, her nickname caused her mixed emotions. She remembered the pain it had caused on the Versant, but she also remembered how much she loved their secret nickname. But, it was also the nickname that said 'I love you' without the words. Her heart hitched when her mind did, and a bit of emotions the pain and the elation intermixed together leaked out a bit, before she relaxed again. Her eyes turned to him, her hands falling away from his face as she watched him. He was everything she could have ever wanted in a man, in someone that would take her for who she was and care for her just enough to keep her going but not enough to stifle.

He pulled her into a hug moving her so that she was in his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and lay her head on his shoulder. It was already turning that lovely shade of brown he only got when they were planet side. She would probably look like some Value menu discard at a fast food chain by the end of the day, but he would be golden brown and look even hotter than before. It was hard enough for Blue to keep her hands off of Ranaan on any normal given day. But, when he was well bronzed, it was much worse.

Ran mentioned talking to Ives when they got back, and if he wasn't empathic at all, he would feel the immense release of just the tensity in her body that she had been holding onto after putting herself out there. Even though he had proven time and time again he wasn't flaky and wasn't the sort to walk away it was still exceedingly hard for Blue to put herself out there. Though, much easier by far to do it with Ran than anyone else. He pulled back and that caused her to do the same so they were looking at one another. Her long curls framing her slender frame, more so since the Versant but if her caloric intake said anything about her, she wouldn't be skeletal for long and she was already hitting the gym when she had time to get her muscles back. She was lucky to have a place like this and when she got really pissed the fuck off she would have a go at a bag for a while. Ran and an officer he had worked with a long time called Blackford had taught her how to properly use a bag when she was on the Endeavour.

He told her life was too short to keep putting it off and before she could respond he kissed her. She kissed him back with her fingers finding purchase in the nearly dry hair at the back of his head to keep it going just a little longer. Finding these moments, when they were alone together was hard enough. Especially with them both being senior staff. But, she was the sort that would try to make every moment count when she could. At least when she wasn't working on a huge project because she tended to forget the world existed them. The fact that he had banned her from bringing projects along had sucked, but she had made due she had brought a sketch pad, pencils, pens, and some other supplies to old school work while they were here if she had time.

When they broke apart he laughed and said that his mom was going to be pissed that she missed the wedding. “We'll have Albert take pictures, maybe a video, so she can see it live when we find her again.” she said with a chuckle. “But, holy shit can you imagine your dad's face when you tell him I'm officially part of the fucking family.”

He got serious then, and she studied his face. Blue was good at reading faces she always had been. It was how she got through life up until she met him. He wanted her to know that he wasn't going to desert her, ever. She swallowed. He knew, without her saying it, that she had horrendous abandonment issues. It was something she had fought with, a demon that followed her to this day. But, never once had he seemed to sway from her. Never once had he truly shaken her trust. Never once had he given her reasons to worry. But, he was working out something, and like him, she waited for him to say the words that troubled him.

He didn't disappoint. He told her that he had a hard time talking about his emotions like she did. A little bit of a wry smile colored her cheeks. He told her that while she battered through her emotions and the shit that life through at her, he had learned to swerve around things when it got hard. She smiled softly, brushing her hand up his shoulder and to his cheek. Brushing her thumb across his cheek. He continued on, about how she was more important than she knew and how even when she was being very Blue Tiran on the Endeavour she was keeping his sane. Blue elicited a chuckle though tears shimmered in her eyes. They never really did the heart-to-heart thing. So this was big for them, and maybe the Versant had forced them to admit things that they normally wouldn't. He swore that he needed her just as much as she needed him.

A fear that she had consistently had, and one he was voicing that she never had.

He told her that he was on the verge of snapping. Blue was still. Studying his face as he finally told her how he felt when she was on the Versant. He was about to snap, about to fall apart, he wasn't really living he was just.. moving forward. But then, he heard her name from the Versant and everything snapped together. He told her that he was brittle without her.

Tears, true tears streamed down her face. She launched forward those inches that kept them separated and wrapped her arms around him hugging him tightly. She knew that he knew how much she loved him, how much he was for her, and just how much he meant to her but now.. she dropped her shields so he really knew.

How hard it was for her, on the Versant. It wasn't the torture and the things that obviously had harrowed her against life. But, how the pain of knowing or thinking he was dead had effected her. He was part of her. He was air, he was blood, he was life. He was the pillar that she stood on, and the foundation that she built herself on. He had become an integral part of her very being. He was... her center. And she hoped that he could feel that now. How much she loved him. How deeply it went, it was everything. She cried softly for a moment or so, before she pulled back and wiped at the tears with her thumbs to get them away the wet lashes chilling in the breeze that blew past them. Sniffling softly she smiled and pressed their foreheads together.

“Thank you for telling me.”

They watched the scenery for a little bit with her in his lap and the breeze drying the parts of their bodies not in the water. A slight mist from behind them at the waterfall made it rather comfortable but her skin was already starting to get a rosy hue that would call for the kind of bitching pain Blue would enjoy later. Finally, the pair decided they had sight seen enough and should get dressed. Blue found her clothes, which luckily had been tossed outside the water when Ran took off her underwear and were blissfully dry from the heat of the sun on the rocks surrounding the pond.

They dressed quietly, but she felt a lot lighter than she had earlier. Once, they were dressed and their boots on they collected their packs and headed up higher towards their destination. What Blue believed was a cabin still. Though as they walked she held his hand she felt a lot lighter though. Knowing how he felt, knowing how much her absence had effected him. She didn't have empathy so without his words she couldn't know. Still, she didn't want him to suffer but in a way it was nice to just know he had felt her absence.

“Albert has been working hard, to gain his status from Ives. The Captain said that if he worked hard, he could be my assistant on the engineering deck.” she told Ranaan as they walked, he knew where their destination was she was along for the break and the ride.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #5 – July 31, 2019, 08:28:07 PM

Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Eastern Trail | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

They dressed and resumed the hike; with the time they'd made, even with their stop-off at the waterfall, they should easily make the weather station by nightfall. Ducote supposed he should probably tell her soon that it wasn't quite the tucked-away little adventure-tourist cabin one might expect... But for now, he simply enjoyed the spring in her step. Even back on the boat, back among the Fleet, she still wasn't quite herself.

That could just be his own comparison, a rose-tinting of a time before all this befell them, though.

He shifted the pack on his shoulders, following a little behind Blue as she crunched up a narrow section of the trail. "Albert has been working hard to gain his status from Ives. The captain said that if he worked hard, he could be my assistant on the engineering deck."

Ducote actually stopped for a second, his face a picture of instant confusion, before he leaned forward again and carried on putting one foot in front of the other. "What? Why? You literally built him to be your assistant, it's what he's for."

"Yeah but he's a person now, and apparently needs fucking clearance."

Of course. The Savi. Again. "Ah yes," he snapped his fingers, "sorry. Makes sense. Too used to how he was on the Endeavour, I guess. And a crew this paranoid isn't about to just let him inherit your codes, either."

For half a minute or so, the sounds of the breeze in the thinning tree canopy and the grinding gravel underfoot were the only noises around them. An Aldean shuttle left a contrail leading towards the horizon.

"Speaking of the Indy, I don't know why I thought that was ever a tough job. An officer and enlisted cadre of misfits drawn from all over, when Amasov had to replenish his crew after Three-Five-Nine and Sector Zero-Zero-One... and sure, there were a few standouts, like Drake or sh'Zenne. Or- Christ, who was that sociopath in Science? Bula? He was always muttering about minerals, I swear. Assigning him to a team... any team... was just a bad idea. Man couldn't play with others for love nor money.

"But this one? The Theurgy? Crews from, like, four ships, most of whom were trying to kill each other at some point in the all-too-recent past, still on the run from the rest of the Fleet, and no way to get rid of the worst troublemakers in any ethical way." He chuckled. "Those engines better be as fun as you told me they are, Blue..."

The path grew a little less steep, and had widened out so they could walk abreast again, but they were now officially above the treeline. The view out over the ochre desert was stunning - doubly so after the solid week of sapphire blue in the Azure. Low clouds scudded over the sand, casting ephemeral shadows over the dunes. In the hazy distance, glinting on the edge of visibility, were the nearest of the 'ghost cities'.

"Has Albert's battery life gone down since his upgrades?" Ducote wondered aloud, almost-reluctantly looking away from the vista and back to Blue. "I know before he was basically good for a week or more, but if he might not get through an entire shift we might need to- ah, what am I even saying. You've got a plan already, huh."

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #6 – August 04, 2019, 03:19:50 PM

[Blue Tiran | WTF | We Made This Choice Together, I Thought | Lets Add Guilt to the List of Bagagge | Can Hatev Video a Session from Aldea?]
@Top Hat

It was true, this crew was too paranoid to just allow Albert to do his shit. He could talk, think, and possibly feel though she hadn't really proved or cared to prove that last one. However, now that he was his own person they were having to have him actually prove himself useful in various ways. Things that normally they would have done together she was having to delegate or allow him to help. It seemed interesting that even in this day and age some people were still prejudiced against the Artificially Intelligent and yet, it still happened. She had witnessed it a couple times, lightly, in passing as Albert tried to integrate himself with the crew. She hoped he was faring well with her gone because she wasn't there to go kick someone's ass for being a dick to a dick.

Because, Albert was a raging dick.

Ducote began talking about the Indy and how he hadn't expected the Theurgy to be such a shit hole and tough job. As they walked, Blue tried to be understanding and listen to his worries. Fuck knew that he was always listening to her own thoughts on shit when she actually voiced them in the loudest possible fucking way possible. He explained that the officers were from fucking three different ships and some of which had been attacked by the Theurgy or attacked each other, and that made her brow rise. She didn't keep too much of an ear to the scuttlebutt around the fucking ship because she had far too much fucking work to do. But that explained that various ship names that she heard tossed around from time to time.

“Ugh, fucking Bula man, that fucker got on my last fucking nerve. You sent him on that one fucking mission with me to the Toro VII planet and I nearly left that fucker there. I wouldn't have felt guilty he would have been in fucking science heaven and could have muttered to himself all fucking day and night if he wanted to.” she wasn't actually being honest Blue wasn't the sort that would actually leave people behind, that wasn't her style, but she had really wanted to because she and he had only clashed greatly. He was all biological shit and chemicals and whatever... mineral... something or other and she was all engines and shit.

Ducote tossed out that the engines had better be as good as she said they were. Blue paused, a moment, in her walk, as the weight of his words hit her. “Pardon me. I thought we made the fucking decision to stay together, my mistake.” Her words were barbed heavily because she didn't need any added fucking guilt she was already trying to work through enough shit and was pretty sure that he was proud of her for actually going to fucking therapy and seeming to be working through things. While Hathev didn't likely give him any details he would have at least a report that she was a willing participant.

Blue was pissed the fuck off that he was basically laying the reason they stayed at her feet. She would have fucking left had he asked her to, and that was saying a fucking lot because she didn't often do things that changed her life for others. But, for Ranaan she would do just about anything because they were a team and she loved him in a way that was beyond much of anything else. So, she was quiet a while since she didn't think that there was any reason to speak for the moment and just continued to get higher on the mountain looking forward to the cabin that was at the end of this fucking trail. She wanted to have like a campfire, and some fucking quiet time, she wanted to get her shit out and get some work done and she was hoping to be able to get some reconnecting with Ranaan done.

There were things she wanted to say, but so far, she hadn't found the right time and now she was stewing on his little comment about her engines. Because they were her fucking engines.

Finally, he spoke again asking about Alberts upgrades, and his battery life. He had used to go a full fucking week without needing his docking port, but she had him charging every four days just in case because she took him on away missions when she went. She looked over at him as they walked and he began to talk about if he couldn't get through a whole shift they might need to, she rose her brow and he came to the realization that she probably already had a plan for Albert.

“Of course I've got a fucking plan, it's Albert. I have installed a charging station in my office, and three in Engineering that are ported directly into the wall to pull off the Theurgy when needed. He can fully charge in less than ten minutes.” she explained. “I planned to ask you and Ives if I could put a few per deck since I'm not actually in charge of the fucker and he is his own person he will do well to have various places on the fucking massive ship.” she explained as she turned her attention away from Ducote and continued to walk beside him.

“He almost makes a full shift. It depends on how much he has to move around the ship as that is what takes his gross amount of energy but he has recently learned how to use Thea to teleport his ass around the ship which takes away the need to move himself too much. But he has figured out how to use his wings and glide with his anti-grav thruster to get around the deck and that is what fucking absorbs his shit. I have a feeling I'll be redesigning his chassis soon because the one that he has isn't going to really work for the kind of shit he'll be doing now that he's a person versus a chirping paperweight.”

She sighed softly and brushed and errant curl out of her face as they continued walking. “How is.. being the first officer on a shit storm of a ship like this? I mean.. you look stressed the fuck out and I know I'm not the girlfriend that's all about massages, and cuddles, and .. whatever else you need but uh.. I am here for you, you know. I mean if you want to talk, vent, fuck, or just like I don't fucking know... watch movies with I mean.. I hope you know that.. anyway.”

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #7 – August 15, 2019, 11:12:48 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Eastern Trail | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

"Pardon me. I thought we made the fucking decision to stay together. My mistake."

Ducote blinked, behind her, as he wondered how his words had been taken so differently to their intent. He felt that grousing about the crew when they were in private like this was okay, even if a sensible person could be forgiven for regretting taking the job at all... but that was different from laying it entirely at either of their feet, nor should it imply he wanted to give up and run.

But.

It was only days into their reunion. Things between them were still tense - through lack of shared experience, if nothing else - and they were still trying to figure out how to relate to each other again. Even if it seemed as if he were the one on eggshells sometimes, that was only because Blue Tiran didn't know how to walk on an eggshell. It just wasn't in her nature. Petitioning once again for some Act of God to befall the Savi, please... penance for vengeful thought forthcoming, et cetera.

Albert was safer ground, Ducote thought, so he changed the subject for now. He nodded along as she spoke; while he had almost none of the same sentimental attachment to the bird (beyond it being part of Blue's stuff) that she did, he was still interested to hear about his development. He supposed he ought to take an interest - not only was it a fascinating opportunity to witness his personality develop day-by-day, but he was now (or soon to be) part of the crew. I'm going to be Albert's boss. Santa Maria, that's not going to go well...

Blue's tone changed, and Ducote was glad that he held his tongue before. More than once he'd tried to head an argument off at the pass before, and he'd usually succeeded only in advancing its timeline. "How is.. being the first officer on a shit storm of a ship like this? I mean.. you look stressed the fuck out and I know I'm not the girlfriend that's all about massages, and cuddles, and .. whatever else you need but uh.. I am here for you, you know. I mean if you want to talk, vent, fuck, or just like I don't fucking know... watch movies with I mean.. I hope you know that.. anyway."

Ranaan shook his head, though he offered a wan smile. He well knew that he could rely on Blue when he needed her, the same way she could him. But it still took a lot for her to say it (or anything feely) aloud. "It's a lot. Twice the crew of the Endeavour, a morale problem that would put half the Academy's Kobayashi Maru tests to shame, and the ever-present balancing act of integrating crews that until very recently were at each others' throats." He shrugged. "The people version of what you're dealing with in Engineering, no doubt."

The trail carried them round a bend, and revealed a squat building. Neglect and dry weather had turned its walls dusty and grey-brown, but there was no visible damage. No doors hanging ajar on their bearings, no holes in the walls. Their home until morning, proof against the chill of the mountain night. They were near the peak, though not so high as to have to worry overmuch about the altitude, and low enough that it sheltered them a little from the prevailing westerly winds, and it afforded them a commanding view of the surrounding area. The dead ochre desert, rippled with its dunes and crags, splayed out to the horizon. A ghost city to the north sat glittering in the afternoon light, with the peaks of another glinting over the horizon to the northwest.

"But the mission is important," Ducote continued, "and I don't regret saying we should stay. I guess I just wish we could have had the opportunity to work on a Theurgy-class without this... cloud over it." That, and I can't help but wonder when the knives are going to come out. A cynicism perhaps, or maybe paranoia. But with so many desperate people in one place, with no opportunity to get off and persecuted wherever they'd go, on top of the recent... change in command, he couldn't help but wonder.

"Casa de Aldea," he said, waving at the defunct weather station. "The finest accommodations the Aldean government could be persuaded to provide up here, as long as we get the generator running again - they want to use the place to surveille those other cities. Only way they'd let us both come down..."

Ducote found a manual release for the door, making it lurch a few centimetres along its runners so he could get his hands around it to heave it open. The air inside was cool and dry, but a little stale, and it was quite dark within. He looked around at Blue. "Don't I take you to the nicest places?"

The interior layout was simple enough. A bank of consoles along the desert-side wall, blank screens in place of windows, a joint kitchen/recreation area, and a separate quarters with a square bed and a spartan bathroom. A door on the southern wall led to the plant room, with the generator, environmental systems and sensor access. Dumping his pack by the door and pulling his (disguised-as-Aldean) tricorder, Ducote ran a swift scan of the place. The place had been built to last; no degradation to speak of, just long disuse. Shouldn't be too hard to get it running again. Might even be able to preserve Blue's break... not sure how that's gonna go, either.

Though that did remind him of something, as he closed the tricorder with a snap.

"I saw some of the plans for Cross' hand when you were working on them before, by the way. How many features are you cramming into that thing?" he grinned. "I've seen less-complicated positronic networks..."

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #8 – August 20, 2019, 09:53:08 PM

[Blue Tiran | Fracture Point | I Still Love You | No One Else Understands | This Is Not a Cabin]
@Top Hat

It was a lot.

“Understatement of the fucking eternity.” she muttered as they walked, and he continued to tell her how bad it was. Twice the size of the Endeavour, way more problems, and the fact that he couldn't get them all to easily work together. They all came from other ships, that had at one point, tried to attack one another. There was a lot of feelings, emotions, and pent up frustrations aboard the ship. He told her that it was probably nothing that she wasn't dealing with in Engineering and she snorted.

“On a fucking smaller scale, but yeah, those fucktards can't get along long enough to get any shit done so I just fucking do it myself or fucking scream at them until they realize who their new overlord is. That's something you need to fucking do. Remind these fuckers from all thees fucking other ships that you're their fucking Great Overlord now. You'll take their fucking sacrifices and bribes, and make shit happen.”

“And those engines are fucked. I'm getting them back online and shit with the help of Aldeans and some of the officers that know that the fuck they're doing but there is a lot of fucking assholes here that don't know how to do shit. Not to my fucking standards. I want to toss them all back to the fucking Academy. Fuckin' they will let anyone pass these fucking days. That or the last guy was just complacent as fuck.”

Together, they rounded a bend, Blue was still listening to Ducote who was just slightly behind her talking about the ship and watching where she put her boots. The last fucking thing she needed was to get a broken ankle from a loose rock. She didn't do outdoors but that didn't mean she didn't enjoy them the same. She just was much more talented at hurting herself in the environment when she wasn't paying attention. Though, honestly, she wouldn't mind another night of Ranaan healing her wounds because she stupidly wore shorts. She had brought some in her pack anyway, and she had brought something that was most definitely not Starfleet attire to sleep in. Might as well make the most of the first romantic outing in a while and the last in who knew how long. He said something about Casa de Aldea, and she looked up and stopped short.

That was not a fucking cabin.

She had been lied to!

He had falsified information to get her ass out of Engineering!

That cunning mother fucker.

Her sharp eagle eyes shifted over to him. “I thought this was a fucking cabin.”

“I never actually said Cabin.”

She popped him hard on the shoulder, enough that he actually took a partial step backwards and looked at her, though it hadn't been too bad because she had started to dodge it at the end. “You know what the fuck you promised. Come on Blue, we're going on leave. We haven't had one of those in for-fucking-ever and fuck man, there's Aldea just waiting for us and after all the MOTHER FUCKING SHIT you won't talk about happened on the MOTHER FUCKING VERSANT you could really use some fucking down ti- did you say the generator is broken?”

Blue sighed, as the fight left her body and she shrugged her pack off. Leave work at home Blue, leave shit behind, don't bring a bunch of shit, this is us time. Fucking..... good thing I don't listen to a mother fucking thing you say. Blue squatted down and opened her pack and pulled out a small “travel size” tool kit, though for Blue it was small since she usually carried a shit ton of stuff around with her, it was still against the technical rules. But, he had fucking not brought her to a cabin so fair was fair. She stood up as he mentioned taking her to the nicest fucking places.

“No. Down there, the fountain, waterfall, pretty shit. That's the nice place, Ranaan Erich Ducote, this is work. In another fucking form.” she glared at him, though there was no frosty bite behind it. She huffed over to the side of the building, just around the corner from the door that Ducote was currently pulling open to reveal a cooler interior. This place had seen many better days but it wasn't fucked yet. She opened the casing of the generator and began to inspect the interior. It was a basic unit, powered by the solar panels on the roof of the building so it wouldn't require any fuel other than the sunlight which was fucking hot, bright, and up often. So she began to work on the actual device. There was a small coolant tube that was hanging loosely and dejectedly amid other wires. She began to reconnect it, the screw that had been holding it on had rusted causing the metallic clamp to fall off. So she fished it out from beneath the wires where it had fallen when the screw had failed and began to reattach the hose. The coolant tank was empty, but that was fine, she pulled out her bottle of water and filled the tank from that, because it would act as a coolant once the system got working and it would get them though the night without sleeping in a virtual fucking oven of a metallic building.

Finished, she replaced the casing, and flipped the switch, the sound of power restored to the station quickly began to work and flickering lights proved that it was getting power. Moments later the lights external and internal stayed on and shined and the coolant system inside the building kicked on to bring it down to habitation level.

Blue stepped into the building and put her pack down on the bed in the habitation area. He was just closing his tricorder and began mentioning the drawings of Cross' hand. Her brow rose and she smiled, she was actually really fucking proud of it. When he mentioned that he had seen positronic matrixes with less designing she gave a bit of a chuckle and reached down into her bag to pull out her sketch pad that she had been working with because it helped her visualize everything she wanted. She patted the bed beside her and sat down waiting for Ran to join her. When he did she leaned against him, putting her chin on the top of his shoulder, and looked down at it using her hand to point as she described.

“Well, this finger here is going to have a single shot tranq dart in it because you never know when you're going to need one, especially on the fucking Theurgy, and you might as well load down a hand like this. This one over here is going to actually be a fucking multi tool. When you press on these hidden pads in the palm of the hand with the thumb, you will be able to access the various things that are hidden in the hand. I have a couple more ideas too, and I'm still working a little bit, but this is the basic design.”

The hand in the drawing was sleek and somehow slim like a regular hand but he could see her various drawings, the breaking down of the cogs and parts that would make the internal mechanisms work. “Down here, I have an adaptive fitted band, that when he puts on the arm, it will actually test for the proper amount of pressure to actually stay on and not be uncomfortable or chaffe. As it gets to know him, it will adapt and change for the kind of usage he's doing. So if he's in the gym, or about to fight, it will read the biometric signatures that his body is giving off. The hormones, the increased heart rate, and things like that, and will actually adapt.”

She looked up at Ducote, not pulling her chin off his shoulder. “I just, think he needs a fucking badass hand and the piece of shit the Fleet gave him is better off wiping the asses of a lesser man.” she looked into his eyes. “Plus.... he saved my life. Twice.” she whispered, Cross had most definitely touched her heart and it was something that no one other than Ranaan had ever been capable of.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #9 – August 26, 2019, 06:54:23 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Weather Station 7 | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

There was more than a hint of Blue's old strength when she slugged his shoulder. Even with his overloaded pack as ballast, leaning forwards to mount the slope, she overbalanced him a little in the other direction. No doubt she'd be hauling plasma coils and deckplates around again like the old days on the Endeavour in no time. She wasn't happy at his deceit, but her heart wasn't really in it. At the news that there was something to inspect and/or repair, the indignation mostly evaporated. Behind her, Ranaan grinned.

"... Ranaan Erich Ducote, this is work. In another fucking form."

Full-named. She had full-named him. For appearances' sake, at least.

And true to character, she'd brought along her bits and pieces. He hadn't really expected her not to bring her battered satchel of tools and miscellany; it was almost as much a part of her as one of her limbs. It probably actually meant more to her than did Albert... and it had even grown on Ducote as a sort of inherited sentimentality about the thing. The number of times he'd darned it or repaired a split buckle while she was on-shift, keeping the thing going decades beyond its usual useful life was almost a hobby now.

In short order, Blue got the genny working and the facility hummed into life, the lights and environmental circuit returning the space to the standard of liveability to which they were more used. Ducote downloaded the programs and runtimes the sensors would need from a PADD to change their parameters from atmospheric surveillance to looking to groundward. He let them percolate through; he could check on them later. Despite the short job on the generator that he'd known would be all but impossible to keep Blue away from, this was supposed to be a break for her. For them both. Political needs aside.

Ducote followed her through to the bedroom, and sat on the bed next to her. He leaned on one hand behind her back, which put his shoulder in a convenient place for her to rest her head - he kissed her temple as she showed him the blueprints, before looking down at them as she talked him through them. "Jesus, a tranq dart?" he chuckled, rhetorically. He was always one to err on the side of 'better to have and not need, than the other way around', but there was an amusing image of a bathroom mishap waiting to happen.

"... Plus... he saved my life. Twice."

Ranaan nodded thoughtfully, eyes scanning over the plans for a moment longer, then looking over at Blue. "Even if I could build something like this, that's a debt I could never repay him myself..." He looked back down at the prosthetic illustration, and took a deep breath. "'Thanks' just won't cut it."

He changed his balance and drew her into a tight hug, releasing her after a long moment. It was still good to just have her in arm's reach, without having to wonder whether the next time he saw her would be with a Borg ocular implant between them or not. "He feels different now," Ducote said. "Mentally, I mean. He was hardly a stereotypical hybrid Vulcan before, but he's running close to his limits now. I know he has a referral to the counsellors, but I hope he gets a handle on his new emotions before they eat him."

There were other questions, regarding the saving of her life, that he wasn't sure how to ask yet. He knew that Shar had pulled her into her escape pod along with Cross (and the thought that it took a pair of humanoids who between them were much stronger than the average Human to do it was... well, very Blue), but the antipathy with which she had met the Andorian as the Versant survivors were brought aboard Thea was surprising. He was torn between wanting to know what had happened, and not wanting to make her relive it until she wanted to.

More eggshell-stepping, which he knew she hated, but he didn't know how else to treat it.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #10 – August 31, 2019, 04:15:15 PM

[Blue Tiran | Unspoken Trauma | Unspoken Emotions | Spoken Love]
@Top Hat

He pulled her in. Blue wrapped her strong arms around him, still smaller than they had been, but she was working almost double time right now to bring her body and this ship back into working order. It was amazing what trauma and lack of food and beverages had done to her already slender body. Blue burrowed into his shoulder and just inhaled the scent of Ranaan. As silly as it might seem, she had always loved his scent and even now, she could catch herself inhaling it from his pillow when he was working too long and the emotions began to encroach on her mental sanity. It wasn't something she liked to talk about and she was pretty sure that he knew she still struggled with the thought of losing him. Even though he came home every day there was some trauma that didn't just go away once you were in the safe zone. Some of it stuck around a while, and some of it forever. Though, she doubted it would be around forever for her, she was strong and had never been one to hold onto much of those kinds of things except her parents. She flared hot and then it was gone, only the most unspeakable things remained unforgivable.

His scent soothed her, and even now she felt the tension she wasn't even holding onto on purpose bleed out of her body. She had no idea how she got so lucky to run into Ranaan, well she knew it wasn't exactly luck. There was something about the two of them that Q had wanted to see, and she was often curious about it but there wasn't anything they could do to ask and he probably wouldn't have answered anyway. She didn't really care what it was because Ranaan was a salve for her soul in so many ways that she was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“There will never be enough to repay it.” she admitted giving a nod. “But, at least this way, I feel like I'm doing something.”

He admitted that Cross felt different and that he probably needed to see a counselor before he broke himself because of how he was feeling now. All the emotions and all the things that they had been through. Blue nodded, sitting beside Ducote now and less on him she gave a long sigh. “We all need fucking counselors. I actually like Hathev though. He's not a raging bitch and she's not a hugger so it's a win win, also she doesn't take my own bitch-ness personally. So it's nice to be judged by my own fucking counselor. I have another session with her in a few days.”

She knew that Ranaan would probably like to hear that, he had always tried to get her to go and be supportive of her time there. But, she didn't like talking about the bad shit and she liked that Hathev was less about stepping into land mines and more about talking about the safe shit if possible. It was hard for her to find someone that could take her personal brand of personality and continue to work with her. She knew that Ranaan wanted to know what had happened to her, and, she wanted to tell him. It was one of the reasons she wanted to come here, because she wanted it to be just them. Where they could just be together and alone. Have the privacy when she finally tore down the walls and let him into what had happened to her on the Versant. He had seen peeks, into what had gone on in her mind, psyche, and what not because of the fear of having lost him. But, he hadn't seen or heard of everything and she wasn't even sure he was ready. She hadn't even told Hathev about it yet, they hadn't actually broached the subject at all. And she feared that Ranaan wouldn't really have much to say on the matter as, he was totally ill-equipped to do such.

Blue pulled away from his shoulder. Looking up at him she opened her mouth to speak and just got that deer-in-the-headlights look for a moment before closing her mouth. “So you brought us fucking up here for work shit, so what the fuck are we supposed to be doing up here now that I got shit up and running? Also; when do we eat all this tasty food you were going to cook for me because I'm fucking hungry we walked a long way.”

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #11 – September 05, 2019, 11:04:26 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Weather Station 7 | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

He would never in a hundred years have pegged a Vulcan as a good match for Blue in terms of therapeutic value. Well, that said, Blue wasn't much for anything of therapeutic value in the first place, so perhaps any comparisons there were already on an uphill slope. He supposed that a typical Vulcan's generally stoic demeanour might have worked in their favour though, now he thought about it. He'd met Hathev briefly in a couple of staff meetings, and he had no reason to doubt her professional qualifications. The work she had already put in to integrate the Bellerophon survivors with the minimum (though still not insignificant) amount of fuss had been an inestimable help to him, too.

"I'm glad it's working out for you," he said, smiling.

As she pulled away, building up to say something, he looked over at her with a curious, almost anticipatory expression. It was a Big Thing in there somewhere, and he inwardly braced himself for whatever it could be. At least, until she bottled it. Still not quite there, it seemed... he was patient.

"So you brought us fucking up here for work shit, so what the fuck are we supposed to be doing up here now that I got shit up and running? Also: when do we eat all this tasty food you were going to cook for me because I'm fucking hungry; we walked a long way."

He nodded, pushing up off the bed and rubbing his hands together as he thought about what he'd planned to replicate. "Well, the work part's done. I might have exaggerated the probable scale of the problem and necessitated that an engineer of your calibre was what it would take to ensure that this place was brought back up to speed..." His eye twinkled. "I even programmed the new runtimes myself - an old bluffer like me was more than sufficient to get some surveillance routines done." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder to the other room, where their bags were - and the portable replicator on the chance that this place didn't have one (it didn't).

Among other things, there were enchiladas, some spicy potato accompaniment with some truly fiery Bajoran pickles... even some honest-to-God 'real' (so far as the term applied) twinkies that he'd talked one of the galley staff into baking. Apparently the number of ingredients and arcane processes required to make them authentically were "absolute bullshit" and Ducote now owed them "the mother of all favours for it". Worth. He had no doubt as to which part of the various plates she'd attack first.

"Dig in!" he said, making as good as his word. Bits of everything bar the twinkies landed on his plate, but he didn't get much more than a few bites in before he paused, looking at a point somewhere over Blue's shoulder. He had a series of troubling thoughts, one after the other. Getting her to open up, on her own timetable or not, was never going to be a one-way street. The eggshells he'd been treading on weren't entirely hers, either - he'd been compartmentalising his own issues in such a way that he could safely avoid thinking about them. And there was another factor about the mutiny and its circumstances that had been bothering him.

"Blue, I-"

I what? Where do I even start?

The beginning. Of course.

"After I sent you to the pods on the Endeavour, I went down to try and get a few more people past the Borg and the damage." He swallowed, his throat dry, and set down his fork. "I got a few. Fewer than I'd like. And God knows how many of them actually got rescued..."

Ducote shook his head once as if to clear it. He was in danger of rambling through to his point, and neither of them would appreciate that.

"I found Ensigns Nakamura and th'Issix on deck eight. th'Issix was trapped behind a buckled door with a plasma fire eating the room behind him... Jenn wouldn't leave him. Heard a rumour they were dating once, but I don't know if that wasn't one of Vasiliev's jokes. Door wouldn't budge. Totally fucked. Then the Borg showed up before we could do anything else. Nakamura almost stayed, but I got her to go. th'Issix..." he sighed heavily, pushing a hand through his hair. "th'Issix asked me to kill him. Borg, or burn. And Heaven help me, Blue, I did it. Dialled my phaser up to a kill-setting and shot him dead."

Ducote clasped his hands together on the table in front of him, wrestling with himself for a moment, his voice lowering to a rueful rumble. "Not sure how I feel about it. Nearly got assimilated there myself. Caught up with Jenn just in time to watch her eat an exploding bulkhead." The fact that both of them died made the whole attempt feel pointless, somehow. They'd have died either way, with or without him. The only real difference was that the Borg didn't get an extra pair (trio?) of drones. "I didn't tell anyone about that until now. Elro might have picked up some of it on the Niger; I don't know. He hasn't said anything if so..."

He pushed some pickles around on his plate, enjoying the aromatic spices reaching his nose for a moment. "But before any of that-" Perhaps not the beginning, then.. "-I didn't go to my post when the alert came. I went for you. I don't regret that at all, because I got to make sure you lived, and I doubt I could have changed the result whether I'd been on the bridge or not. But that's where I should have been regardless."

The fork was rested on the edge of his plate again. "The Theurgy just removed their last XO for wavering between doing his duty and a relationship. Another reason I'm feeling like I have the Sword of Damocles over my head here... I don't know that I wouldn't do it again, if it got that dire."

More things he'd admitted to no one at all.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #12 – September 11, 2019, 10:17:44 PM

[Blue Tiran | Relaxation is Good for the Soul | I Need You | I Love Your Patience | Feed Me and Call Me a Badass]
@Top Hat

He had over exaggerated the level of work needed to get the weather station working again. The twinkle in his eyes was a salve for the soul, truthfully. That mischievous grin she never got to see too often. She loved it, because there were times that she felt that she rubbed off on him a little bit. She loved when he let go of his Commander guise and instead was just Ranaan. It sounded like they should be the same people, but they weren't. She probably wasn't either. The Blue Tiran that he knew and the Blue Tiran that other people knew were completely different people. Though there were flavors of them in both. She looked up a bit of a grin answering his own. “Well, at least you made sure to get me off that fucking ship before I explode it just for it's own fucking good.”

“You programmed something? Ranaan Ducote, are you sure you are ready to talk dirty to me?” she teased as he pointed a thumb over his shoulder to where their bags were waiting. Likely with the replicator that he had brought with them because he was one of those annoying types that was always over prepared for anything that they might need. She appreciated that, especially when they were in Peru, she had been more prepared this time.

She rose and followed him into the main room tossing her pad of paper back on the bed behind them they likely wouldn't be using until later anyway. He began to replicate all the good food had promised that he would feed her while they were gone. She had a soft spot for his food, it was always good, and she appreciated that he would do it for her. She tried to do the same for him when she could, but, she just didn't have the talent for food like he did. She came into the area where he was replicating all of the good food that was sitting there and her eyes twinkled when she saw what he had brought for them. “Are those .. baked?” she asked him curiously, because they sure as fuck weren't the normal kind. When he confirmed what she was asking she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek nice and long.

“You're the best, but don't let that go to your fucking head.”

Blue stepped around him and sat down. She looked at the spread of food and began to pile a bunch of food onto her plate. Of course, she grabbed one of the twinkies (just one for now) and she bit inhaled the scent of the baked twinkie. She'd never had a fresh one, ever. So she bit into it and the moan that exited her lungs was something that only Ducote would have heard before. Leaning back in her chair more fully she ate it and chewed it savoring every single bite that she could. Once it was gone, she moved the plate closer to her, she was the only one that would eat them anyway.

“You should have used those when you proposed. I feel like at this fucking point you need to propose all over again, with fresh twinkies.” she chuckled knowing that they hadn't really proposed to each other more tossed each other rings that they had both hidden, lost, then found again. It was perfect for the both of them, neither of them had been particularly romantic.

She dug into the meal that he had made for her, all the flavors. She was hungry, of course she always was. When she stopped long enough to actually eat, it was usually because she hadn't eaten all day and was then ready to create a black hole in her face to absorb all the necessary calories to keep her body going with her activity levels. Suddenly, he was looking off over her shoulder, and she paused realizing that he wasn't eating anything but instead he seemed to be struggling with something. Blue, waited, because she could tell that something was eating at him and she wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about it yet or not. She hoped so, and she knew that he was likely waiting for her to do the same thing but it was still hard. Sometimes she wanted to burst out and tell him everything, but he had so much on his plate she felt like it would be a shit show to dump her own experiences on him as well.

Her name, Blue looked into his eyes and gave him a silent nod. He could say whatever he wanted. She was poised to take another bite when he began to talk about the Endeavour. Food, in her mouth turned into cement in her mouth but she continued to force herself to chew her food while he spoke of something that was hard for him. When she was able to she carefully put the fork down and listened. Her eyes, stunning as they were, never left his face as he puzzled out what to say and how to say it.

Blue was quiet as he spoke. About th'Issix and Nakamura, and how they were stuck on a buckled door. One wouldn't leave the other, and he tried to help but wasn't able to he couldn't help and the Borg were descending. Blue could understand the pain of the situation, had it been her and Ducote was stuck in the door, she would not have left him. It was a realization that she didn't share, but it was no less true just because she didn't want to say it out loud. He explained that he was asked to kill one of them, that they would rather die than become Borg, something she could fully understand. While she wouldn't mind getting her hands on some of their tech she sure as hell didn't want to be one of them. She would likely be the first person to ever be unassimilated because she was cast out do to her level of Bitch being to great for the Borg.

He told her that he did it though, he dialed his phaser up to kill, and used it. On his own officer, at the behest of a man that would rather oblivion than eternal torture. Her hand reached over and took his own. She wanted to say something but she didn't want to interrupt this story that he needed to get out. She knew that Ranaan still struggled, sometimes, with the events that happened on the Starbase before she had met him. However, this would have brought up flashes of that but also she knew that he would take it as letting his people down because he couldn't save them. He nearly was taken by the Borg himself and then watched another officer, Jenn, get caught by an exploding bulk head, and it was obvious she didn't make it either. He hadnt told anyone else yet, except her, and she knew this kind of thing would have weighed on him so heavily. He held his crew over all else.

He pushed his food around on the plate with the hand she wasn't holding. Her thumb brushed across his knuckles as he told her that before all of that happened, he had not gone where he was supposed to. He had gone, after her. The weight of the world crushed onto her shoulders in an instant, her thumb on his knuckles skipped a slight beat. He explained that he didn't regret going for her, but that he felt had he not, others would have lived. He continued on about how the last XO got shitcanned because he wavered in the line of duty, and yet Ranaan admitted that he would likely put her first again if it came to it.

For a long moment, he would feel Blue fighting for what to say. Searching for the right thing that would settle his heart but also knowing that she doubted she had that kind of power. Taking a small breath she decided she would wade into this veritable fuck fest of emotions and do her best. Because, that was what you did for other people. Especially, the one you loved.

“If you hadn't come to check on me... we would both be dead.” she said matter of factly. “Because if you think for one fucking minute I wouldn't have hunted your fucking ass down before I sought out a fucking escape pod, then you don't know me very well.” she said using her free hand to brush some of her curls behind her ear. “I probably should have gone to Engineering, I should have made sure as Chief I was one of the last fuckers off the boat. I should have been with you, and .. I wasn't. I don't want you to blame yourself, a shit ton of lives were lost that day, and, I don't think your actions added to it. You did what you had to do with Nakamura and th'Issix. You could not have done anything else and you respected their wishes. You might have come to check on me, but you did not leave with me, you stayed...” she paused a moment and looked down, collecting herself as her fingers stopped stroking the back of his knuckles and instead held onto his hand.

“..you stayed to .. help the ship.” her eyes looked back up a bit tearful, but she tried hard not to let any of them fall. “You did everything you could do except that one damn five minutes of life where you came to get me, when you told me to escape, when you said you loved me... when.. when I had to leave you on that Godforsaken fucking ship.... when I thought-” she let out a shuddering breath.

“You were the first officer of that fucking ship, and you acted like it through to the end. I, and probably the entirety of the crew, never thought any different.” she promised him, and at the very least, she believed it. “I do not expect you will be any different here. Don't let your actions tear you apart.”

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #13 – October 08, 2019, 10:05:41 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Weather Station 7 | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

He had to smile, if sadly, at Blue's response. She knew as well as he did that he wasn't about to forget the more than four-hundred lives forfeit that day, not when it was still so close... and probably never. But there was the hitch at his leaving her behind for the escape pod again... a new wave of guilt crashed over him. Was there something wrong with him? She cared so deeply for him, so completely, that he had wondered more than once if their relationship was appropriate for people occupying their roles aboard a ship. But he hadn't matched her devotion to him, he thought. There was always something greater. Or at least something else. For Blue, though, he was everything. He just wanted to match her.

Perhaps it was his upbringing. Something else for which he could hate his father. But even then - whatever else he could say about Erich Ducote (and he could say plenty), his family had always been there for him. There had been no question about it. With Blue, her family amounted to Albert, and him. Of course she would cling on all the tighter.

But no. He was just different to her, and he still didn't know if that made him a better or worse match for her. He could no longer imagine a life without Blue Tiran, but that didn't mean he wouldn't cope with one. Maybe. Obviously, it wasn't something he really wanted to think about. He wasn't some stoic philosopher on some deprivation thought experiment, deliberately imagining being without something so dear to him in order to provoke feeling better about existence when he allowed himself to remember that he still had that person in his life.

And now I'm rambling.

"I don't want you to blame yourself, or to think I'm saying I did what I did only because of you. I did it for me. And like you said, I probably couldn't have changed anything. But my brain's a dick, and it sure does love its 'what if's, is all..." he sighed, squeezing her smaller hand in his. "I just... I think I got complacent, maybe? The war was over, we were on a basic-ass science mission... I thought I wouldn't have to worry about losing you, just about ever. The Endeavour was supposed to be safe, ha. Somewhere for me to get my head back in the game.

"Talk about frying pans and fires."

Ducote shook his head, ending the thought. Was it selfish of him to wish to rewind things and go back? This all felt too big.

He recognised the feeling all too well. He'd felt similarly just after Starbase 157. God, I wish I could talk to Hadiya. This time at least, fortified by the months of therapy and learning coping mechanisms, it wasn't as intense an emotion as the tumult that had driven him to take a sabbatical from the Fleet. Yet.

~What happened there, Trouble?~

The question came almost unbidden. He hadn't even meant to ask - Santa Maria, he'd spent so much effort not asking - about the Versant. "I'd happily have taken Correction if it meant being there for you," he said. Conveniently, it could be both the specific and general 'you', and mean both Blue herself and the other Endeavour survivors.

Mostly Blue, though. Almost entirely, in fact. All of the heartache that could've been saved (on both ends!) if he'd have been able to be there for her. Cross might still have both arms. His fiancée might not have retreated back inside herself, grieving for a loss she hadn't suffered.

"Don't let your actions tear you apart," she had said.

Good old fashioned guilt, though... that was fair game.

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #14 – October 15, 2019, 04:39:24 AM

[LCdr Blue Tian | Truth Time | Losing the Battle | Secrets and Harships | Fucking Emotions]
@Top Hat

To see him hurting, hurt her.

Her heart pulled for him, the way that she wished she could reach out to him and grab his mother fucking face and just pull it to her. To tell him that everything was going to be okay and he had never made a bad call. They both knew that wasn't true, and she wasn't the sort that would be willing to bullshit for him. She loved him, and he loved her, but honesty was something that they built their relationship on. That, and avoiding their deeper emotions in favor of the surface ones. They were both gifted in that regard as well. But, to see him there doubting himself. She knew that he was likely concerned about what would happen now that he was over seeing so many fuckers on this ship against the ones that he had over seen on the Endeavour. But, she knew that he could do this, and while she would probably try not to step on any toes, and try not to visit the Brig too often, and try not to get his ass called down to Engineering when she was done dealing with useless mother fuckers and in need of an intervention... she knew that it wouldn't last forever.

Blue, was Blue.

Then it came, his voice in her mind. The voice that she had grown used to, the one she depended on, the one that called to her from all over the place. She still remembered the first time he called her Trouble, and he had never done so out loud. But, it was endearing in it's own little way and a nickname that she quite loved. It suited her rough and tumble ways but it also always had this quality to it that made it almost as kind as any other name someone might call their lover. However, the words before her favorite nickname froze Blue into place. Her eyes widened, heart began skipping beats, as her body and mind tried to fight for dominance. Fight or flight began to take hold, though her eyes never left his dark pools. Those frightened eyes, those blue orbs of crystalline almost ice colored eyes bore into his own. Torn between telling him and running.

I can't.

I must.

I don't want to go back there.

It was dark, but he is there now.

I hate that place.

He needs to know...

Then again, he spoke, but this time out loud. That he would have taken a correction, if he could have been there for her. An intake of air, proved that she was still alive, and a soft tear escaped from the corner of her eyes. Blue was not a crier, she never had been, she had cried herself out before she had turned into a mean little bitch in elementary. But, there were times, things were said by Ranaan that touched her in an unexpected and surprising way. She swallowed heavily and reached up to brush the singular tear off her cheek letting the moisture slide into the skin of her hand instead.

“Can we go outside?” she said with a nearly hoarse voice.

Dinner left somewhat uneaten and somewhat forgotten they headed out into the crisping night air. It With the sun beginning to set on the bronzed world around them, there was a almost old golden quality to it now. A chill setting in, though it wouldn't really get any where near cold it was at least more comfortable. She walked to the edge of the little cliff where the weather station sat and sat down. Legs hanging down over the edge which was above the path they had used to get up to the station earlier that day. Outside, she felt like she could breathe better.

“They were going to kill me.” she whispered softly, her eyes out on the horizon because she wasn't sure she could do this if she was looking at him. “I'm only a human, I had nothing they wanted. I was in line with the other full bloods. And... and Igor... th.. I watched what happened to him. How they recycled him, what a shit word right? Recycle? I found out later, that it .. it just meant they would eat him. They liquefied the captives for food.” she swallowed the bulge in her throat and licked her now parched lips.

“There was a maintenance guy working on a shaft close by, and... I fucking ran. I ran like a fucking pussy. Into the air ducts. I fucking bolted my ass in there and got the fuck away while the other fuckers fucking died.” she whispered the last three words before falling silent. She was silent a bit, almost long enough to make Ranaan wonder if she was going to speak again, but he would be able to tell by her mental feel that there was definitely more. He wasn't the only one with survivor guilt.

She told him about the days she spent, thinking he was dead. How she heard his voice so clearly in her dreams she thought he was there and when she woke up she mourned him all over again. How she had nothing to eat or drink for days but she pushed forward. Working to build weapons out of shit she salvaged from the trash. She told him about many of the experiments that she had been forced to watch, including the man that was literally raped to death. And, that she bashed in the heads of two Savi with Thor-her favorite wrench- before beaming the broken Deltan onto other parts of the ship to cause mayhem.

“Then I got caught.” she said softly the wind played with her curls lifting it up and around her playing with it against her shoulder and his. Occasionally catching in his stubble. “Echtand qi Versant, the Voice of the Savi, when I thought I was really fucking stealthy using their own tech against them. Masking my signatures by using one of their oversized fucking suits.... he figured me the fuck out and let me live. At first I thought I was fucked, I figured well.. at least I could see you on the other side now.. right? Like.. I at least wouldn't have to suffer any fucking more. But, turns out.. he needed me. He wanted to over throw the current government so to speak and with my help, and that of the fleet on board, we could.. do something that was mutually beneficial.”

Blue dove into the story of how she helped, how he had made it look like they had all died but he had actually sent them to the buffer and they had been transported to the bay that she had been living in. How he fed them, clothed them, armed them, and used them as his little surprise army. The battles that they endured, at least the ones Blue was a part of, and how she and Cross had come close. She didn't share everything about her and Cross.

“Shar hugged me I almost fucking slugged the shit out of her, and it's good she's on a different deck than me right now.” she admitted with no ounce of hatred wasted on anyone other than Shar. “But then there was Cross.” Her voice softened.

“He was there, and while we had never before had any reason to be around each other, this brought us together. I was so tired, so fucking tired, I didn't sleep worth a shit, and .. he was there. That night I slept, with my head on his shoulder, and he fucking let me. The whole fucking night, he sat right there, and … after that there was some kind of fucking bond there. Like a brother. Like family. We weathered a fucking shit storm together. He saved my fucking life and lost his hand in the bargain. I will make him the best fucking hand in the fucking universe. People will be fucking cutting off their hands to get one.” she said with a smirk, though she knew that wasn't likely and it was pretty gruesome anyway.

Finally, she turned to look at Ranaan. The sun had sunk below the horizon and only the glow of it peeked above brightly. Tears streamed down her cheeks, they had been silent but it was clear as she spoke they had cascaded on their own. “When we teleported off the ship. When we came to the Theurgy I had nothing left. I couldn't fucking walk. I collapsed on the teleportation pad. That's why Cross was practically carrying me. And then... you were there. The world just fucking stopped. You were there. Alive. I spent three fucking days thinking.. knowing.. feeling your death. I have never known a relief quite like seeing you there. I thought I was fucking hallucinating, again. Hearing your mental voice, seeing you, but then you touched me and I knew... you were okay. You were okay and I didn't have to miss you anymore.”

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #15 – October 25, 2019, 06:58:13 PM

[ Cmdr Ranaan Ducote | Weather Station 7 | Varenzboia Mount | 8km Southwest of Aldea Prime | 'The Beyond' ] attn: @BZ

Ranaan just held her hand as Blue performed her best impression of a deer in headlights. And then he tried to stay quiet as a tear fell from her eye - desperate not to take it back, in case she stayed clammed shut. He hated to be the one to force a reaction like that, but he had to. For him, for both of them.

"Can we go outside?"

He just nodded as she led the way, and sat down next to her on the little cliff. The dust and gravel crunched satisfyingly under them as they settled in to watch the colours rolls over the desert below. For a moment he appreciated that view, but then twisted round so one foot was under his opposite knee and he could face Blue. She might not be able to make eye contact, but he didn't want to look away.

And he just listened, one hand in hers, and the other splayed in the dust next to him.

She told him everything. And what her words couldn't tell him, her feelings sure as shit could. There was some latent shielding going on, but for now he was mostly allowed access again. The second-hand rollercoaster was... lots of kinds of uncomfortable. But a lot of the undercurrent of scuttlebutt about what she had done came clear in her painful retelling. No wonder someone had called her a hero.

Ducote decided then and there to nominate her for decoration... before remembering that there was no way to have it honoured. And even if they did get back to the Fleet and beat the parasites and restore what had been broken... there would still be a court martial to attend for every one of them. Write it anyway. I can save it for later.

Her words about Cross (even Shar!) tugged at his heart. He had no idea what to do for Cross. No idea what he could do. But privately he had just elevated himself to 'family' beyond what Ducote would normally pin on a member of his crew. It looked as if the now-Vulcan was going to be getting it from both ends.

He stayed silent as she wrapped up.

"... You were okay and I didn't have to miss you any more."

His mouth opened as if to say something, but closed again. His own eyes had prickled with tears, and they weren't entirely borrowed from her. Ducote frowned as he looked off to one side, as if annoyed by his own wordlessness, before he looked back at Blue and pulled her close. His chin rested atop her head as he just wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and simply held her. The hybrid gave up the attempt to speak, and concentrated on his other talents. It took a lot of effort these days - beyond the fact that Blue herself lacked a paracortex, the fact that they could link this way at all down simply to the depth of feeling they shared for each other - but he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud.

~I didn't know if the distress call had gotten out, if rescue was coming... I almost wanted you to have died, if assimilation was the alternative. But assimilation has been reversed in the past, too... I went around and around that circle for days before the Theurgy picked us up. Then I thought they were going to kill us...

~Every time I tried to think of the Endeavour, or you, this yawning pit of... God knows what would just swamp me. So I pushed it away as long as I could, I threw myself at the new set of problems the Theurgy presented, I focused on surviving the next minute, the next hour, making sure the others - our others - did the same. I didn't know how to think of you, or what I wanted to happen, or if I hated myself for running away from the wreck where you could have been rescued, or for the suicidal charge into the nebula in a runabout chasing after a Cube.~

His head started to hurt, a needle-thin bastard behind the bridge of his nose, but he pressed on.

~Seeing you, so clearly exhausted and wounded and hurt... I'd never seen you fragile. Not once. I hated it. I hated what could do that to you. I still hate the Savi, whether they were victims of the parasites too, or not. I hope God swats them out of the fucking sky.

~But most of all, I am glad you came back to me. I am glad that neither of us has to miss the other. I know you'll be okay, because you're Blue Fuckin' Tiran, Trouble. And you never needed me at all,~ he said, squeezing her a little tighter as he forced his tone a little lighter - spoiled only somewhat by the fact he had to sniff hard to avoid leaving any mucus behind in her hair. She'd be able to feel the tightness in his chest as he contained himself.

~Look at what you did without me!~

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] Into Blue Depths

Reply #16 – November 02, 2019, 05:00:41 PM

[Blue Tiran | One for the Books | Opening Up | Emotions are Hard | Loving You is Everything]
@Top Hat

As she spilled her thoughts, feelings, and the events of those days on the Versant to him, he held her. Her head rested underneath his chin where her hair was played with by the wind around them. Her eyes stared out at the beautiful scenery but she wasn't really seeing it. In her mind, she was very much back on the Versant. All the things she had seen, the things she had done, the fact that Blue Fucking Tiran was the one that reached out and made a pact with a Savi Voice and was able to get their asses rescued. Or rather, enable them to rescue themselves. She was so thankful and grateful to Echtand and honestly sad that he had perished in the events that took place on the ship. She wished that he had been there, but then, if Ducote had been there things would have been very different for all of them. It was an amalgamation of the ships that had been taken onto the Versant, those that had survived, and those that had decided to fight back. Blue had even given a fucking speech, not that she told Ranaan about that, because he really needed to not know everything. People already came at her with the H word and she didn't really fucking see how that was applicable.

She had just done her job, done what anyone would do. Save everyone possible.

When she fell quiet, she waited. Waiting for his words, for whatever Ranaan was going to say. He always knew what to say when she was upset, when she was down, or pissed, hangry, or otherwise. However now, when given such a heavy load he was quiet. She couldn't feel what he felt, she couldn't change much of anything about it really. So she waited, and closed her eyes listening to the thrumming of his heart where her ear rested against his chest. Her hair danced in the breeze, the curls lifting and swirling around. It'd be a bitch to comb out later, but, right now it wasn't on her mind.

Then it came, almost like a soft whisper at first, just because she had not really expected it. But as open as she was to him, she found his voice within her mind. The only time he had ever really used it was to call her Trouble. It was her favorite nickname, and the one that she hoped no one would ever know about. Their little secret. He began to speak about his own side. How he didn't know if the distress call had gotten out and how he would have preferred her dead over assimilated. But then, knowing that a few very rare times it had been reversed, that he wasn't really sure he preferred that at all. A smile came across her face as he spoke, such an odd reaction, but she knew that she was the sort of strong minded girl that would have fought until she couldn't against the nanoprobes.

Then he was on the Theurgy and he thought they would kill them, but they didn't. So instead of thinking about Blue and the others he just threw himself at every problem that he could so that ie didn't have to think about her. He didn't have to worry about her because his brain and body were always busy. She understood there. She had done the same thing. When she was awake she kept herself busy because when she thought about him the ache consumed her completely. He had never seen her as fragile as he had when she got off of the transportation pad. She still remembered, nearly fainting and how Cross had used his one good arm to help her walk because she fucking refused to be carried. He hated to see her like that, wanted to murder those that had caused that kind of grief in Blue. She smiled softly again and wrapped her arms around his waist but had stayed where she was tucked under his chin because it was warm, and safe, and it was her favorite place in the world. Even Engineering was second, and that was saying something.

He told her that he was glad she was back, neither had to miss the other, but he knew that she would be fine. Because she was Blue Fucking Tiran. Causing her to laugh slightly. And then, he told her 'look at what you did without me'. Her breath hitched slightly and she could feel the tightness in his chest as he tried to contain himself. She pulled back slightly so that she could look into his large, soft, brown eyes glistening in the sunset. She didn't know what to say to his line though, what could she say.

~But think about wh-~

“Out loud please.” he whispered as if it hurt him to say so.

She didn't skip a beat. “But, think about what I can do with you.” she whispered softly pressing her forehead to his own. Letting the moment just linger. He was her world, her air, her breath, her heartbeat. He was the center of her world, and in some central part of her she knew that someone like Hathev thought it was unhealthy. But, she did not understand the depth of Blue's love for this man that sat on the edge of a literal cliff with her. No one could understand the roll that he filled in her life, the place he stepped into and filled her up, she was a better person just because he breathed in this universe along side her.

-FIN-