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Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #25
[Lt. Enyd Isolde Madsen | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @ob2lander961

Enyd reached up and lightly tapped the end of Via’s nose, “I always wanted a sister to sit and talk shit with like this, so you’ll get no complaints on my end.” She looked at the bottle a moment before she brought it to her lips and took a swig directly from it, not wanting Via to misunderstand her actions if she poured it into the empty cup, as had been her first instinct to do. Swiping a free hand against her mouth like she’d seen Via do, Enyd sighed, “I’d shoot the breeze with the ranch hands, get into trouble with some of the younger ones. Enough to get called ‘hellster’ by the chef’s wife anytime she saw me. The ranch manager, Joe, well, he called me Little Bit. Basically helped my grandmother raise me.” Enyd felt a catch in her throat as she recalled his grin of pride when he’d attended her officer school graduation with her grandmother. Enyd cleared her throat before taking another quick sip of the liquor, “Sadly, he passed as well while I was on Cardassia.”

Enyd’s eyes were sliding shut in an effort to relax away the melancholic thoughts when Via stuttered over her next words. She leaned her head to the side and raised her eyebrows as she waited for the thing Via asked her not to laugh at. It took Enyd a good moment of silence to realize that confessing to a fear of dying in space was the THING and not something else after that. She let out a single snort and gave a headshake.

“That’s nothing to laugh at, Via. Also, nothing to be ashamed of either, at least not in my book. Healthily appreciating your mortal limits is a survival instinct, and usually, for a period after a traumatic incident, that instinct may rear its head more heavily than during the routine, more casual moments of life. See this,” She raised her arm and used her fingers still holding the liquor bottle to reach up and tug back the sleeve of her gown, “I kept these scars from Cardassia as a visual reminder of my mortality. And also, as a reminder, I can’t depend on anyone else to save my ass but myself. Everyone has a job to do and the best way to stay alive is to do my job well and let others do their jobs well and succeed in the mission. I was a drunken idiot for quite some time after I got out of there. Nearly got invited to leave the service after I did a dance number on a colleague’s desk. But thankfully, an old family friend ‘loved’ me enough to push me through the Vulcan pilgrimage through the Forge, and basically, after walking through fire and nearly dying by pushing my body to the edge, I worked my way through the shit that had been keeping me down.” Enyd paused long enough to take a drink of tequila then press the bottle back toward Via. “Did something happen recently that would remind you that for all your badassery you’re still a bad of flesh that can’t survive the vacuum of space without assistance?”

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #26
[ Ens. Via "DixeBee" Wix | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @EllenFitz

Via lightly chuckled as Enyd told the nicknames she received during her childhood finding them genuinely 'funny' or at least 'funny sounding'. Still somewhat envious the young woman started to become curious about what such a childhood could look like for herself. What if she wasn't born on Deped and was raised by parents or grandparents who didn't think of her as another body for the family gang? What if she had a normal life? What was a normal life? All these questions ran through her head occasionally when she felt she couldn't connect/relate with the people she talked to. This occurred a lot during the Academy but never had she let the fact bother her until now. Her hard 'I don't care what you think' personality along with other aspects about herself only exists because of her upbringing. If that changed would she be a whole different person? Via didn't want that to happen, she liked who she was but couldn't help but feel isolated at times.

When Enyd explained he passed away Via kept silent recognizing that his role in her life was similar to Fia in a way. If she died she wouldn't want anyone to say anything to her. No 'I'm sorry' or 'Are you ok?'. People will never understand what she would be going through so trying to help seem ungenuine to her.

What Enyd said next to her question really churned Via's mind for the first time in a while. She agreed with her wholeheartedly about the best way to stay alive was to depend on yourself, a sentiment that everyone in her hab block who wasn't in a gang or organization understood- otherwise those who didn't realize how things went were taken advantage of and exploited or simply killed. Fia was the one who taught her this and more about independence from the 'mob'. Ironically she and Via went ahead and left and joined another organization that controlled their free will to join one that did the same. The difference of course was that they were able to join out of their own free will without being conscripted or forced by other means. It was truly their choice to join Starfleet and their first step to being able to do whatever they wanted. As she listened Via saw a 'sister' or at least a mentor in Enyd. She would not be able to replace Fia, no one ever would in her eyes, but Enyd seemed so knowledgable, sure of herself, and badass, Via looked up to her. Everything stopped when she asked what happened that made her feel scared"

The young woman was silent for a good minute. She remembered everything, how she felt, how scared she was, how much everything hurt, but she couldn't register why her body froze and was scared in the first place. Via had been in shootouts, seen death, and nearly died herself, but this moment was what affected her. Maybe everything was catching up and it was only a matter of time before other memories from her childhood started plaguing her. Or maybe...No she wanted to push it away but Enyd asked the question. So Via finally answered

"I...I don't wanna..." she spoke like a child who was reluctant to say something that made them uncomfortable. "Shit...I-I mean..." she raised her head off of Enyd's shoulder and sat back on the couch, placing her hands in her jacket pockets. "Fuck..." She took the Tequila Enyd handed back to her, and wiped the rim with her sleeves 3 times. Then she drowned the entire bottle. "It ain't anythin' I'm fine." She said partly trying to convince herself. "My ass may ass graduated from the Flight Academy my instructors went on tellin' me they put me up for sum advanced trainin' at this place called Trainin' Center Omega. I'm tellin' you after my like...3 somethin' day there durin' one of them trainin' excersies one of the students went insane. Straight up started taggin' and shootin' everyone and my ass got hit. My ass was out there, cold as fuck...can't do nothin'...couldn't do nothin'..." Via trailed off. "I meanin' my ass got knocked out, but I...don't go tellin' anyone ok. I couldn't control anythin'. Ain't no joystick, no savin' the ship, nothin'. Just my ass, my suit, and fuckin' space. Everythin' was up to fuckin' luck or some shit and I ain't about that..." Via felt like crying and her eyes started to swell but nothing dropped.

"Please don't tell anyone..." She pleaded. Via knew she could trust Enyd and she wanted to but again she couldn't fully trust anyone.

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #27
[Lt. Enyd Isolde Madsen | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @ob2lander961

Enyd was careful how she sat, the expression on her face, and the length of her eye contact as Via struggled through sharing the circumstances of her fear. Via was a tough woman who had come through some tough stuff, but that didn’t make her any less mortal or vulnerable. The likelihood of her accepting the spoken reality of “it’s is normal to feel fear after something like that” was pretty slim in Enyd’s assessment, given what she knew of the woman. She could hear the hitch in Via’s voice and saw several telling signals that denoted someone on the verge of a breakdown, but was trying to make sure they didn’t actually break. At Via’s prompting, Enyd nodded, a half smile on her lips.

“I’ve no one to tell and no reason to either.” She grabbed the liquor back, intentionally nudging Via in the process and shooting her a wink. “Besides, you’re not so special. At least not in the whole nearly getting killed and feeling powerless as shit in the process of waiting for death to either get itself fucking together and end us already or for it to fuck off altogether.” Enyd was also intentional in using the type of words that Via naturally used, hoping it would work it help the woman relax more after sharing so much. “My ex-fiance got shot to hell and I think even drifted in the vacuum for a bit before getting rescued and ended up in stasis for a while, only to wake up with more implants than when he’d gone under. He was recently shifted in duties and is part of the Wolves now, if I remember correctly.” She tipped her head to the side. “Do you know Victor van Vinter by any chance?” Enyd hoped that by bridging the topic, it would help Via not feel so disquieted and help her feel more comfortable with sharing in the future if another opportunity presented itself. "We were engaged some years ago, and if I hadn't gotten mixed up in Cardassian intrigue and gotten myself kidnapped and my other fiance murdered, we might've gotten married." Enyd was intentionally nonchalant as she spoke, taking a long swig of the liquor as she watched Via's reaction.

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #28
[ Ens. Via "DixeBee" Wix | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @EllenFitz

Via listened to Enyd intently even while avoiding eye contact by staring down at her own legs. Her new friend was right. She had seen many people die, some close to her including two of her brothers. She had never processed how to really feel about it as it was just life. That hadn't changed more so that now she had experienced being powerless to prevent her death, Via now had something to truly fear...other than small rodents and rat-like creatures. The young woman slowly nodded understanding what Enyd was saying but still feeling quite uncertain about what she was feeling. When she started telling the story about Victor Via glanced down at her chest and felt the implant that was assisting in repairing her severely damaged lungs along with regulating her breathing. It completely covered a previously existing tattoo that she fondly remembered getting with her sister during her 13th birthday. She hated it but it was hard to when she barely noticed it was there. It didn't bother her, it didn't malfunction, she couldn't feel it working, it was just there. The device just felt like another part of her skin and Via honestly wasn't scared about that. She was scared that one day she would be a slave to it, potentially dying cause it was out of her control. She was about to go into circles about what ifs but when Enyd explained what happened to Victor she felt even more comforted.

Via shook her head when Enyd asked if she knew Victor. She had probably seen his name on the flight roster before but never met him personally. If he had gone through the same thing Via had gone through, Via wanted to talk with him. Hearing that someone who was also a pilot and came out just fine after the whole ordeal according to Enyd made the young pilot much more relaxed. She was curious about a couple of things, however.

"Yeah...I guess your ass is right..." she said still somewhat down. "If his ass can do it so can I right?" Via asked genuinely and then changed the topic having been distracted by Enyd and marriage. "He seems cool, but were doin' the stupid marryin' stuff? I thought that shit was for and shit. I ain't tryin' to do that. Don't all them married people do just fight and like murder each other for cheatin'? I saw a holovid about one when my ass was like...6. Nuh-huh...nope...weird as shit."

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #29
[Lt. Enyd Isolde Madsen | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @ob2lander961

Enyd laughed, nearly sending a stream of spit across her face from how suddenly the laugh bubbled up in her throat. Via had the most descriptive and unique way of describing things.

“Yeah, I was nearly doing the stupid marrying stuff because I never saw it as stupid. I think it depends on what you see and experience as a kid, you know? My parents were married and were very much in love and were great parents and friends. I never knew my grandfather. He died the year before I was born. But my grandmother never remarried. She spoke of my grandfather often, though; he was very much an influencing character in my life, even if he wasn’t physically present.” Enyd shrugged, a happy smile on her face. “There were disagreements between my parents, but I never saw them have knock-down, dragged-out fights. They worked through it because they genuinely liked each other and respected each other.”

Settling more deeply against the cushions of the couch, Enyd glanced over at Via, soft smile still on her face.

“Victor and I were kindred spirits. Like best friends, like my parents. We didn’t have the physical aspect between us that my parents did, but that wasn’t a problem for us.” Enyd didn’t go further, not believing it was her place to reveal more details without Victor’s permission. “Then, with my Cardassian fiance, I had both the friendship and the physical, more akin to what my parents had but still quite different even then. In both cases, I liked the concept of an official agreement that was legally supported and known to declare to the world that they were mine and I was theirs.” Enyd gave a quick shrug. “I don’t think marriage is for everyone, though, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone either. The Andorians have quads, and some cultures out there also had triads.” She raised an eyebrow, “What are your gut thoughts? I mean, I know you said ‘weird as shit,’ but has there been anyone that tickled your fancy in a vaguely romantic manner before?”

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #30
[ Ens. Via "DixeBee" Wix | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @EllenFitz

Via repulsed at the question. "Tickled my wha? You mean my...? Oh hell naw!" she squeezed her legs together. The young pilot qinced at the mere thought of someone touching her private area. It nearly caused her to gag.

"Only I get to do that! I don't trust no one to do anythin' like that to me. I mean I think my ass said it before. I dunno where them hands have been. You know what type of nasty gross shit that can start growin' if I get some nasty ass germs on there. Imma be sick."

During her freshman year at the academy, Via was required to take a class that went over the various interspecies diseases and other health matters that could possibly affect her and other people. After that class she refused to leave her room for a whole week. It scared her greatly and made her incredibly OCD about hygiene with anything entering her body, especially near her groin. In truth throughout her life, she had never considered or perused any romantic desires since she had never taken them seriously. Looking at the adult world from when she was on Deped everything just had to be about sex, sex, sex, and no one just wanted to be friends and do cool stuff and hang out. Everyone was cheating, getting murdered, taking up prostitution, taking advantage of others, and having kids. That was what she associated with sex and thereby romance as she never saw the difference. There were childhood friends she would've loved to spend her entire life with and she honestly wouldn't mind being with someone whom she felt she could completely rely on and trust with all her weird quirks. Via was still young and new to everything. The concept of romance was still difficult to grasp and she was still learning and evolving every day.

"Ain't no one ticklin' me...I ain't even ticklish- I tried." The woman said vindicated.  "And Marriage just be soundin' like slavery and I dunno...just with them extra steps. I don't wanna own no one and ain't no one ownin' me. I wanna do what I wanna do. Why can't you know...just like each other and maybe kiss sometimes then do fun shit like friends do. Yeah! Like if like you can change marriage to you just wanna be with your bestist friend forever and only them...but like maybe kissin' sometimes? And none of that stupid love talk like in them garbage romance vids. And mayyybe, if they really want to cause my ass doesn' some of that sex stuff. Maybe. If I ain't busy. And they wash everythin'. Yeah they gotta be clean and shit too and in a year or somethin' kids maybe? Nah that's too much...or we could like do that lab shit where they beam everything into a tube and the kids grow in it. I had a friend who was a tube baby...he was chill. I dunno all this shit is confusin' and no one likes me like that I mean and no one will."

Via ended her tirade and started to think about what she said and she frowned. "I am just tryin' to not be like my stupid ass mom. I ain't even know my real dad cause of her hoein' around. Maybe if she picked someone right...everythin' wouldn't be so know?"

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #31
[Lt. Enyd Isolde Madsen | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @ob2lander961

Enyd laughed at Via’s exaggerated reaction, then immediately sobered when she remembered it wasn’t an exaggeration for Via. She was legitimately intimidated and disgusted with the goings on “down there.” Enyd was assuredly not a sex kitten, but she at least had an interest in both her pleasure and a partner’s, and while cleanliness was desired and expected, she wasn’t as obsessed with the concept of germs.

Tipping her head to the side, Enyd kept a soft smile on her face and infused as much warmth into her question as she could manage, hoping Via didn’t interpret the question on her lips as pushy or condescending, “Have you always felt that way? I mean, not to sound like a head shrinker, but when you think of your mum acting like she did, do you think that influences you at all?”

She intentionally crossed her legs under the floor of her skirts and began to play with her fingers, an action that made her seem younger, more childlike. Enyd wanted Via to continue to feel comfortable in her presence as she genuinely wanted to get to know her more. And not feel threatened or judged in the process.

“For the people in my life that I was able to observe marriage and such, it was kinda like what you described. They were best friends, they kissed and shit, and did fun stuff together. And they also had that promise in their back pocket that protected themselves from others and the government. If they hadn’t been married, then legally speaking, certain things could’ve happened to one or the other in case of death. So,” Enyd shrugged, dropping her hands to her lap, “I think it depends on who you choose. And, not that you’re searching for a compliment, but you’re a great chica and I’m happy to be hanging out with you. I’m not trying to proposition you or anything, but I’m trying to say, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve got more value to you than your piloting skills.”

Enyd nudged her shoulder against Via, shooting her friend a smile.

“A lot of things would be different if the ones who were supposed to steward our resources or guide our lives hadn’t cocked it up.”

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #32
[ Ens. Via "DixeBee" Wix | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @EllenFitz

"Fuuuck no!" Via said adamantly, not wanting to consider the possibility that her mother, the person who has always had a passive or negative influence on her life, could influence her feelings that she determined was her own.

"She don't own me or my feelin's." The young woman paused as she went through her thought process in her head. "I seein' what she does and not want anythin' to do with it...well." she saddened realizing Enyd's observation was correct. "Well shit, I guess...she still does. Mmm..." She did not like the implication.

A bit pensive after the revelation, Via looked down again in defeat and then back at Enyd for some sort of solace. She couldn't understand what about her made her so approachable but the young woman couldn't help but feel as if she was familiar in a way even though she was certain she had never met her before in her life. Her demeanor reminded her of a friend back at home. maybe her sister when they were younger. Her gut told her she was one of the good ones if it hadn't been already determined by her brain hours earlier.

"Yeah..." Via said softly and returned the smile in kind. "I guess my dumbass got my sister for that...and a few other people."

She sighed and sat back again, thinking about what her new friend said about marriage which seemed a lot less controlling than she thought.

"I guess marryin' ain't that bad. Still weird as shit, but..." she paused. "Maybe...dunno it sounds kinda...badass. Best ass friends for life, even the stupid ass corpos can't fuckin' do nothin'." She chuckled softly. "I ain't trust no one like that. I want to..." Via trailed off. For a person that was so eccentric, lively, stubborn, and seemingly carefree, she was rather lonely on a deeply personal level. She has friends but no one she could truly talk to like she was doing with Enyd, but even with Enyd she wasn't telling everything. Via didn't know if what her heart wanted or seeked even existed. She wanted to be herself with someone who would be there for her utterly and completely like her sister was but different in a way where romance could develop. These were things she had not thought about before but were still there, though she refused to let them torment her, just like her PTSD from the training center.

Via quickly reverted from her more vulnerable state to be playful and energetic. "Hey!" she said remembering Enyd's comment about having more value than piloting. "No shit I can do more than flyin'. I can do like...a lot of shit. Shit, my ass is like...worth 500,000 bars of latinum to a shit ton of people because of the shit I can do. Look at this shit." Via jumped up from her seat and walked over to where there was enough space in front of the couch. She got on her hands and knees and then proceed to try and do a handstand. It took her 2 tries since she was still intoxicated but on the 3 third attempt, she managed to keep herself stable.

"Ha, ain't no one can do this!" she started walking with her hands rather well

Her jacket draped over her face exposing her midsection to the air of the ship and obscuring her view. So while she was able to walk with her hands Via could not see where she was going which as a result caused her to crash into a table close by and lose her balance, dropping to the deck rather hard. "Fuck..." she groaned but laughed. "That gotta be like...500 bars right there..." 

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #33
[Lt. Enyd Isolde Madsen | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @ob2lander961

Enyd gave a shrug in the face of Via’s pensive revelation. She hadn’t looked too happy about the reality of her influences, but at least it was a step in the right direction.

“Whether I like it or not, my near-death experience on Cardassia influences my decision-making.” Enyd held up her hand, indicating the scar on her wrist. “And the same with more positive things, like my view on marriage is influenced by the decisions of my parents and grandparents and the people who modeled good marriages to me. We don’t have to like someone or even respect to have them influence us. That’s the funny thing about the mind, you know. It absorbs stuff that we may not even rationally take note of, with that stuff impacting how we interpret the world around us, again whether we realize it or not. But, good news is, once you realize something, once you track down an influencing person or memory, a lot of times that can help you either move past it, if that’s your goal, or emphasize it.”

When Via grew silent, Enyd left her the privacy of her thoughts. She didn’t try to fill the silence with any further reassurances or questions. There was a time to talk and a time to refrain, and this appeared to be one of the moments for refraining. As Via chimed in again on marriage, having adjusted her attitude to be relatively less hostile towards it, Enyd smiled. She could tell Via had far more unacknowledged or unrealized pain and trauma than she cared to admit, but Enyd wasn’t here to be a counselor. She was here to be a friend.

“It can be scary, trusting people with our thoughts and feelings. Especially when they’re so different from ourselves, right? I mean, take us. We come from different backgrounds and have arrived here via different paths. That could be a barrier to a friendship or it could enhance the necessity of a friendship.” Enyd shrugged. “I rather figure we’re only as a smart as the room around us, meaning the more I know the people around, their traits and skills and preferences, the more capable I am to take down a foe or a challenge when it comes, because I’ll know what part of the puzzle I am and what part of the puzzle they are, and together we can fuck shit up.”

Enyd startled a bit when Via surged to her feet. She remained quiet, watching as Via got on her hands and knees and readied herself to do a handstand. The first two attempts were failures but based on her stance and poise, Enyd could tell that if she was less intoxicated the first attempt would’ve been enough. Considering her garb, Enyd was not about to show Via that she could do much the same, and more given her gymnastic background. Instead, she grinned, her laughter bubbling out of her throat when Via crashed to the deck. In her peripherals, Enyd noted a few lounge occupants had gotten up to investigate the noise but, noting who had made the ruckus, had quickly retreated back to their tables.

“750 in my mind, the dramatic landing meriting an extra 250 to the original 500 base.” Enyd winked. “Maybe next time when I’m not dressed like a fluff ball, I can join you in the acrobatics. I have some training in that type of thing. What other tricks do you have up your sleeve?”

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #34
[ Ens. Via "DixeBee" Wix | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @EllenFitz

Via snorted and laughed heavily.  In fact, she laughed so much that she ended up back down to the ground rolling all over and hugging herself as tears came down from her eyes. The alcohol got to her if it hadn't already, but there was something else in that laughter. It was pained, filled with sadness and worry over herself, her situation, her past, everything. There indeed was a lot that Via intentionally hid from the world, experiences both good and bad. This moment when she talked to Enyd was the most she had let out to someone who wasn't her sister. There was a hint of regret she felt doing so as if she betrayed her sister who could very well be alive or just simply feeling she made a mistake being so vulnerable when she had seen so many times people get taken advantage of for doing just that. It was something she would keep to herself for the time being. Via trusted Enyd and hoped she didn't make a mistake by doing so cause it felt good to talk to someone who understood. It would be hard to break her closed-off nature of 13 years more or less since childhood.

Via finally relaxed and took a breath laying on her back. "My ass is tired as shit," she said panting. The young woman slowly sat up and then stood up stumbling a bit before walking towards Enyd. "Damn, I wish my ass met you sooner, you are cool as shit." She picked up her PADD that was still on the couch and then reached down and gave the Lieutenant a tight heartfelt hug while whispering "thanks". She released and stepped back. "Imma, head back to my uh..fuckin' sleep room place...BUT I am goin' to call your ass to hang again. Do some of that rope shit." She chuckled.

OOC: Are you cool if we can fin it? Sorry it took so long to respond

Re: Day 09 [2222 hrs.] 50 Shades of Garbage

Reply #35
[Lt. Enyd Isolde Madsen | Below Decks Lounge | Deck 28 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @ob2lander961

Enyd watched Via stand on wobbly feet, already tempted to lend assistance to her new friend. And yet she figured stepping in uninvited to help, especially after the candidness of their conversation just moments before, would potentially backfire on Enyd’s hopes to develop stronger ties with this woman.

“I think I’m going to go drool a lake onto my pillow as well,” Via’s enthusiastic praise for Enyd’s character had the diplomat snorting with amusement, “be sure and tell all the diplomatic corps your opinion. I guarantee you will find yourself amused with some of the responses you get.” Enyd knew that had been an immature comment to make, yet she couldn’t help but find devious amusement at the imagined conversation between Via and L’Nari.

Via’s quick hug had Enyd smiling before she also stood, smoothing her hands over her skirts. “My sleep room is calling my name too. And yeah,” Enyd followed Via to the lounge’s entrance and paused in the corridor, ready to head in the opposite direction as the pilot, “anytime you wanna do rope shit or pranks, let me know.” She lightly punched Via on the arm before swishing her way down the corridor.

It hadn’t been the plan to spend her evening getting tied to a chair, but it had been worth it.

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