[ 2379 ] A Moment

September 06, 2022, 03:01:05 PM

The problem with ghosts is that they float. Enyd had learned this in the months following his death. No amount of liquor drowned the sound of his dying breath gasped against her lips. No glass was large enough to help forget the weight of his cooling corpse draped across her lap. A corpse that had once held the vibrant soul of her fiance. A corpse that had once been her love.

Even now, falling against the cool sheets of her bed, the world spinning and lurching—her liver begging her to stop this stupidity—Enyd could feel the phantom warmth of his blood coating her hands. Closing her eyes against the wave of nausea, Enyd took slow breaths. She was too tired to clean up the vomit again. Her body was still warm from her shower, her hair damp from the use of real water—a luxury for this posting on Vulcan—it would be a shame to waste her efforts by hurling up her guts again.

The waves abated, and Enyd turned onto her side, slowly blinking the darkened shadows of her quarters into focus. Her right hand caressed the absent face that should have been on the pillow beside her. Her left hand closed as she inhaled his scent. It lingered in her senses, imprinted on her soul. Enyd’s ears tingled with the sound of his voice, spoken in heated whispers against the sensitive flesh of her neck. Her hand traveled beneath the sheet, tracing over the memorized contours of his chest. Her flesh began to feel heavy. Feverish—be it alcohol induced or from near-forgotten desire.

Rolling onto her back, Enyd stared at the swirling ceiling above. Her fingers shyly touched the sensitive skin at her hips, fingers tracing up her sides to draw geometric patterns across her belly. Then, with each successive breath, Enyd drew her fingers up, over her ribs, stopping only when the outline of her breasts rested in the V between her forefinger and thumb. Her eyes shuttered then shut as she brought her thumbs over the swell of her breast, lightly pinching her nipples between the pads of her thumb and forefinger.

Her responding whimpers were slight, her moans almost a secret her throat was unwilling to share. Enyd held still, pressure on her nipples increasing and decreasing as she drew breath into her lungs through her nose and exhaled through parted lips. Releasing her nipples, Enyd slid palms over her breasts, gripping them briefly, massaging the soft flesh as her mind reeled at this new dissonance of her life. The lack of her lover and the demands of her drunken body.

Javec. A strangled cry shuddered in her chest. Enyd held her breasts in an almost painful grip. The guilt of survival choked at the back of her throat. The anger of a wasted life, a forcefully abandoned future, pumping through her veins. It was a heady mixture, a cocktail of emotions that drove the breath from her lungs until, with a cry, Enyd threw her arms out to the side, grabbing fistfuls of the sheet. He was gone. He would never again lay warm against her side. She was to meet each day alone and greet each night equally so. The pleasures of his love were only ever going to be a memory now.

“Sshh,” the purr of his honeyed voice echoed in her mind, “be in the moment.”

Her mind always cartwheeling over contingency plans, calculating and analyzing enough to have secured his attention from the first they’d met, Javec had often pulled her into a moment. Amid over-thinking their first kiss, Javec had laughed the comment against her temple, his lips soft as they’d traced over her jawline and pressed against the pulse of her neck. Enyd heard him whisper the directive again in the solitary dark of her quarters. Again. And again.

Sucking her lower lip between her teeth, Enyd tickled the fingers of her left hand over her curls. Her heart began a skittering pattern in her chest, beating now for something other than anguish. Her senses grew hyper-attuned to the ministrations Enyd dealt her own body. Her folds felt engorged, aching, inner thighs almost thrumming with building awareness. Spreading her wet folds with her left hand, Enyd tapped her right forefinger against her clit. Her hips bucked, her belly lurching at the sudden jolt of pleasure. The fingers of her right hand were slow as they smoothed through the silken wetness, sliding down until the tips just barely touched her entrance. Her hips lifted to meet the slight pressure. Her own body was desperate enough for satisfaction it would beg of Enyd the attention it craved. The begging best given to her lover now was cast before her own fingers.

Enyd let her fingers wander, dipping inside, tracing upward again, coating her clit with a slick layer of her desire. Enyd dropped her legs open and pressed two fingers deep inside, scissoring. Mouth falling open in silent pants, her wrist began the back-and-forth motion of thrusting. Lonely. Lonely. Lonely. Enyd timed her thrusts to the tempo of her pain. Her fingers were bathed in the cream of her juices, the nub of her clit hard and swollen. She felt the building color of red swirl out from her groin, the deep purple and indigo of the cold pleasure in her clit mixed with the fire in her womb.

She pictured his expression, a marblesque reflection of their shared pleasure. His body moving above her, the dark tresses of his loose hair framing his features. Closing her eyes, Enyd’s uninhibited mind transformed her fingers into his cock. Abandoning the slickened folds, Enyd used two fingers on her left hand to circle over her clit, satisfying the searing need as the fingers of her right hand continued to pump in and out. In and out.

“Be in the moment.”

Her thighs tensed. Stomach tight. Heart rattling and breath stuttering. The pleasure advanced and fell upon her, crushing her against the mattress in a rigid shock. Enyd felt the convulsions of the orgasm sucking at her fingers. And then there was nothing but the shuddering of the after. Enyd’s fingers dropped out of her spent heat, hand falling to her side. Her limbs felt heavy as her chest settled back into a semi-calm rhythm of breathing.

Enyd’s skin buzzed with the afterglow electrical current of satiation. But a sudden grimace marred her softened features. The anguished loneliness of her reality rose like a demon in the corner of her mind and possessed her body and soul. Her cries were again muted, the pain so bone-deep that it robbed her throat of power. Her sobbing body was wracked with convulsive-like jerks as Enyd curled onto her side and gripped the pillow to her chest.

The moment was over.

FIN