Star Trek: Theurgy

CH06 S [D03|1430] One Last Chance To Say Goodbye

April 20, 2021, 03:54:07 AM

[ LT Daniel Havenborn, Callsign: Salvo & ENS K’Ren, Callsign: Neko | Deck 16, FAB Locker Room > Deck 11, Main Sickbay | USS Theurgy, Vector 2 ] ] Attn: @SummerDawn

Daniel had removed his flight suit and donned his uniform again, he had also made sure that K'Ren had done the same as well.  He knew that she was in a vulnerable state and if he could at least keep her focused on a task that should help, at least until they went to identify Deacon's body.  He waited at the entrance of the FAB for K'Ren to walk out of the locker room, he was going to walk with her to the infirmary and stick with her as long as she needed him.  As soon as K'Ren had joined him he walked beside her as they made their way towards the infirmary.  "Are you sure you want to see him?"  Daniel asked her.  Back on the Resolve when she had lost Markus there hadn't been much of a body to recover, this time it seemed was different and he wasn't sure if seeing him would help or hurt her more.

K'Ren had changed into her uniform, the one piece dress she'd taken to wearing after she'd discovered the pattern in the replicator. Not that it mattered now, Deacon liked seeing her in it, but he was dead and she was alone again. She mewled a little as she changed, feeling like a lost kitten stranded and alone. She had to do this, had to see Deacon one final time, say goodbye to the man she loved. She came out, sadness on her face but she was trying to be brave, at least long enough to say goodbye to Deacon. His question of if she was sure, was met by a nod. "I am sure Daniel, I have to do this. I need to say goodbye to my love."

Daniel nodded, he understood but still felt that he should ask.  He offered her his arm if she needed some support while they walked through the corridor.  He couldn't help but notice how cute she looked in the dress, he realized that now wasn't the time to tell her that but made note to tell her later.  "Understood, I'll be here as long as you need me to."  He said seeing the turbolift coming into view.

Had she been in a normal frame of mind, K'Ren might have noticed the discreet glances from Daniel, the typical male admiration of a women's figure, and been flattered. But as she was, she took Daniel's offered arm, almost clinging to it while trying to maintain some semblance of poise and grace, not let the world know she felt weak and defeated, that she was clinging to a freind for support, both mental and physical. The walk to the turbolift felt like an eternity, and when the door closed leaving her and Daniel alone, she let out a sigh, mewling a little, a small tremor in her body as she tried to maintain her composure.

---

The last fifty feet to sickbay was the hardest walk K'Ren had ever made. She'd never done this before, her first mate Markus, there'd been little to identify, he'd died in an explosion, his atoms scattered across space. Deacon had not been so lucky, this she knew in her heart, there'd been time to feel death, not the snap of vaporization, but the slow pain of a death that left a body. She was shaking, her tail twitching madly as they entered. The nurse that saw them at the door came over, and K'Ren started to speak but felt the words choke up in her throat, and little more then a whimper escaped her lips.

Daniel had seen death on numerous occasions and his first experience with it had been during his childhood; losing his mother during the birth of his youngest sister.  That had forever shaped him, it had also been the reason why he had been sent to live with his uncle and aunt.  During the turbolift ride Daniel did the best he could to support K'Ren and when they finally arrived at sickbay and Daniel heard her whimper he looked at the nurse.  "Can you take us to Deacon."  He said as the nurse nodded and escorted them past several wounded crewmembers before bringing them to a bed which had the body of the Kzin laid on it.

As they approached the bed where Deacon lay, he looked so peaceful, at rest, like he was just asleep. K'Ren knew that even in sleep she could feel him, touch him emotionally and now, now there was no touch, no sense of life from her mate. She mewled as she went over to him, cupping his cheeks, stroking his face, he was cool to the touch, not the warm Deacon who'd curled up with her in bed so many times. "Deacon," she said softly, tears streaming down her cheeks, "Lover." She placed a hand on his chest, glancing down at the wound that'd killed him, gingerly touching the spot, sobbing, leaning back in to hold him, touch him, as if my some miracle her touch could revive him where medicine couldn't.

Daniel stood nearby letting her take time to grieve.  He mourned silently for the bartender who had given him his first meal on Theurgy just a couple of months ago, seeing him lie there as his friend mourned him as well.  Daniel walked up behind her slowly as he put his hand on her shoulder to give her some comfort.

K'Ren felt Daniel's hand touch her shoulder, making her almost jump a little from the unexpectedness of it. She looked at Deacon, taking his paw in hers, holding it it to her forehead, kissing it. "Deacon," she said softly, "Be at peace mate. May the fanged god accept you, judge you worthy." She placed his paw down on his chest, giving him a final kiss on the cheek. Stroking his ears, nuzzling him, she held him, unwilling to let go, but knowing she had to, knowing she had to move on. She finally tore herself away from Deacon, turning to sink in Daniel's chest, mewling softly.

As K'Ren said her farewell Daniel took one last moment to look Deacon over and then wrapped his arms around K'Ren as she tore herself away and sunk into him.  Daniel had been trained to compartmentalize loss and trauma by his instructors during his training as a Neo-ECON cadet.  There were times when the losses were incredibly personal that he couldn't compartmentalize but thankfully this was not one of those times, he needed to be strong for K'Ren in this moment.  He began to slowly move her towards the exit with him, being careful to not go too fast, giving her time to accept the situation.

K'Ren let Daniel guide her out of sickbay. She had nowhere to go but her quarters, but she didn't want to go there, didn't want to be faced with everything there that'd remind her of Deacon, of the man she'd lost. She had to go somewhere, she couldn't run, she couldn't hide away from the world, but she needed time to grieve, time to get through the madness. As they left sickbay, she could feel some of the weight lifting, some of the abject pain fading. "I don't want to go home Daniel, his things are there, but I have no choice, I have to."

As Daniel escorted her out, weaving between orderlies and nurses, and back out into the corridor he was thinking of taking her back to her quarters but when she voiced her opposition to wanting to go back there he thought better of that.  He also knew that this was not a time for her to be alone.  "If it would make you feel better you can stay in my quarters until you're ready to go back."  He offered.  He could sleep on the floor or the couch, it wasn't any different than sleeping in the FAB lounge back on the Resolve during long weeks of sorties.

K'Ren was starting to think a little more clearly the further they got from sickbay. She looked up at him, tears matting the fur beneath her eyes and her cheeks. "I don't want to impose on you Daniel. I have to face the reality awaiting me in my quarters. If you wish to keep me company, I would welcome it, though I can not promise the madness will not set in, I can feel it already on the edges of my mind like a fog rolling in."

"You wouldn't be imposing on me, I remember what happened when we lost Markus."  Daniel said, the truth of the matter was that his quarters were as spartan as when he moved in, all of his personal belongings were carried in a tactical pouch that was attached to his leg, small mementos that he carried with him for luck.  "I'll keep you company regardless of where we go but I think that you shouldn't go back to your quarters until you're ready."

K'Ren's ears flattened at the mention of Markus, her first mate, also killed while serving aboard a starship. She recalled the madness then, how she felt, how she'd acted, how Daniel and a couple of the squadron mates had managed to calm her down. "Daniel," she finally said, "You know I can't turn you down, just please forgive me in advance for whatever happens, whatever I do." She was still leaning into him, but placed an arm around him, holding Daniel, the one person who'd been there for her both times.

Daniel nodded as he escorted her towards the turbolift alcove and pressed the call button.  "No apologies will be necessary, I think a good rearranging of my quarters is in order."  He said as the turbolift doors opened and he walked inside with her.  "Deck Eight."

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This Joint-Post: Part 1, brought to you by the letter L and the writers Havenborn and SummerDawn

Re: CH06 S [D03|1430] One Last Chance To Say Goodbye

Reply #1 – May 16, 2021, 04:41:29 AM

[ LT Daniel Havenborn, Callsign: Salvo & ENS K’Ren, Callsign: Neko | Daniel's Quarters | USS Theurgy, Vector 2 ] ]

K'Ren stepped in with him, looking up at her friend. "Thank you Daniel. Not sure I'm ready to go back there." Leaning into him, she wanted to be close, feel another's warmth against her fur as mourned her loss. Her species could be very what the terrans called touchy-feely at times, desiring of physical contact with others in times of stress and pain. It was their way, and nothing quite beat curling up against a friend when you needed reassuring. K'Ren knew Daniel knew this from when she'd lost Markus, and wanted that close physical touch now too.

Daniel stood in the turbolift with her and wrapped his arm around her for comfort.  He knew what she was going to go through, every time he had lost a pilot on their way through hell he had felt it.  Besides he had been there when she had lost Markus as well, if anyone on the ship was qualified to help her with the madness it was him.  He listened as the turbolift hummed as it traveled up towards the deck where his quarters were located.  "Of course K'Ren."  He said, it was rare for him to adhere to using rank while in public.

His arm around her felt good, and K'Ren began to purr softly, nestling into his arm. "You've always been here for me Daniel, through Markus' death, the entire time on the Resolve, now Theurgy, and Deacon's. I sometimes wonder if perhaps I chose my mates wrong, if perhaps I should have seduced you instead." She knew in her heart that she'd been meant for both the mates she'd lost, but now, here, curled in the side of the one man who'd always been there for her... doubt began to creep in a little.

Daniel was a little surprised by that, sure there had been an attraction between them early on but that had changed significantly when he had become SCO.  He was fairly sure that this was mostly shock and the madness talking.  Trying to replace the grief with something else, he knew all about that as well.  It wasn't widely known, even to those that he served with on the Resolve, that each time he lost a pilot in combat he had turned to alcohol as a way to help, Krissy had been the one to fix that before it became too serious of a problem.  He refocused on K'Ren and smiled at her.  "That's what friends are for, we're here for each other when Fate takes our loved ones from us."

She could not argue the sentiment, not that she wanted to. Her world was in shambles and right her friend, her only real friend in many ways now, was holding her as they went back to his quarters, a source of comfort and security in the chaos. She mewled softly, it still hurt, seeing him dead on that biobed. She assumed it was a Klingon attack, that he'd been overwhelmed by several warriors, and went down fighting as she knew he wanted to. The truth, well, she wasn't ready for the truth, and her mind didn't dwell on the how, just that she was bereft of her lover, the man she would finally have cubs with, her mate cut down in the prime of life.

As the turbolift slowed and the doors opened Daniel led her through the corridors which were sparse, much of the crew still either at their duty stations or helping out elsewhere on the ship, at least that was his assumption.  Soon enough they came to the door of his quarters and they responded by opening automatically.  He lead her inside of his very spartan quarters, no pictures or artwork on the walls, only a handful of PADDs on his desk.  Daniel's quarters on the Resolve had been far more decorated but he hadn't really felt like putting anything up since coming aboard the ship.  He lead K'Ren over to the couch and motioned for her to sit down while he went to the replicator.  "Computer two glasses of cool water, 15 degrees Celsius."  He said as the replicator responded and materialized the two glasses.  He picked them up and brought them over to the table just in case she wanted something to drink.

K'Ren found a spot on the couch and took the glass from Daniel and took a slow sip of the cool water. She felt thirsty for some reason and it felt good on her lips. She placed it down, turning a little to face Daniel. "I always thought I'd be the one to die, to leave my mate behind to grieve me, knowing I died defending them. Never expected I'd bury two mates so quickly." She sighed, "Thank you for being there for me Daniel, through this. Deacon was in many ways proud of the members of his pride and I think he'd be glad to know I'm surrounded by freinds, his pride, our pack. I can't promise I won't do something stupid, or something I'll later regret, but the madness is what it is."

Daniel sat down next to her and nodded as he listened to her. He thought back to some of the conversations he'd had with Markus, about how he'd gladly sacrifice himself to keep her safe.  He knew that Deacon would have as well, after all he had accepted K'Ren as his mate.  "I know that both Markus and Deacon felt the same way about you."  He replied as he nodded again.  "I'll always be here for you."  Daniel said, although some part of him deep down knew that he was tempting Fate and she was a fickle mistress.  "We'll get through the madness together, just like we did on the Resolve."  He added.

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This Joint-Post: Part 2, brought to you by the letter Y and the writers Havenborn and SummerDawn

Re: CH06 S [D03|1430] One Last Chance To Say Goodbye

Reply #2 – June 03, 2021, 10:33:15 AM

[ LT Daniel Havenborn, Callsign: Salvo & ENS K’Ren, Callsign: Neko | Deck 16, FAB Locker Room > Deck 11, Main Sickbay | USS Theurgy, Vector 2 ] ] Attn: @SummerDawn

K'Ren softly purred, leaning into Daniel. She knew what he said about both Markus & Deacon to be true, they both loved her, and she loved them equally, willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for them had the tables been turned. "I know we will, even if right now my heart hurts, and I want him beside me, holding me, telling me it was a bad dream."

Daniel wrapped his arms around her as she leaned into him.  He knew that she needed physical touch to feel comforted right now and he was happy to provide her with whatever comfort he could.  He knew the worst was still yet to come, as he looked around his quarters.  He was actually quite glad that he hadn't decided to decorate at all, he was also glad of his enhancements in this exact moment.  He knew at some point he'd have to restrain her and that wasn't something he was looking forward too.  "I wish he was too."  He said.

His arms felt good around her, and K'Ren moved a bit closer, curling up under his arm. Touch was important and his was grounding her right now. She could feel the beginings of it, the shift's in emotion, from comforted, to hurt and alone, to anger, and back again, seemingly at random, seemingly out of her control. She mewled a little as a memory of markus, or at least a small ring he wore, that they both wore while he was alive, brought back the painful memory of taking her's off, placing it with his other things as they launched the empty casket into space. She rubbed the finger where it had been, the last time they'd talked before he'd gone on duty, was about cubs, deciding they were going to start trying properly. And then a memory of Deacon, a quiet conversation in her quarters while orbiting Aldea, their commitment not to let the cub they'd made together be the only one, making love to him the night before the battle. She mewled a bit more, a little louder, a tear forming in her eye. "We'd agreed that we would have a cub to replace the one we lost, we'd mated the night before his death, and now I'll never have his cub."

Daniel listened, he understood that sentiment himself, having promised his first love that they'd have children but that was no longer an option anymore for him either.  However it dawned on him that if they had had sex just the previous night then it was possible she could be pregnant now and not know it.  "If the two of you mated last night, he could have left you a gift."  He proposed, he wasn't entirely sure if that was how it worked with Caitians and Kzinti, since he really only had experience with Human women.

K'Ren paused, looking up at Daniel. The first cub had been an accident, she'd been in heat, and played a game of roulette with both Liam and Deacon, and Deacon's numbers had come up, his cub in her belly. While it wasn't as common outside heat, she knew it was a possibility, that he'd left her part of himself. She wouldn't know for a while, and it probably wouldn't happen, but she could hope. She gently placed her paw on her stomach, "It would be a small grace from the deity if that is so." K'Ren remarked.

"Then let's have some hope for a bit."  He said, he knew he could only stave off the anger for so long but he would do his best to try and keep her calm and thinking of something happy, or at least hopeful.  He knew he had to choose his words carefully because even the littlest thing could set her off right now, it would get better with time though.  "Would you like something to eat?"  He asked her.

K'Ren hadn't expected the question food, for how focused she'd been on the combat, and then the pain of Deacon's death, she'd forgotten about food. "I guess I probably should eat? Not even sure when I ate last."

Daniel got up for a moment and walked over to the replicator.  "Computer a pair of plates with two slices of kielbasa with a side of hashed browned potatoes."  he said as the food materialized.  Daniel was always acutely aware of when he needed to eat, if he went too long without sufficient sustenance his enhancements would become inhibited and eventually become defunct, and the only way to rehabilitate them would be for him to visit a Neo-ECON Genetics Lab.  He brought the two plates down and took a seat next to K'Ren again, he knew that she'd want him next to her even as she ate.

K'Ren took the plate, and began to eat , trying not to wolf it down, as her body realized just how long it had been since she'd eaten. She purred as the combination of food and a close companion left her in a good place at that moment, a place of comfort and safety, a place she didn't want to leave. "I guess I've not eaten in a while. Thank you Daniel." She gently nuzzled him as she ate, the need to be close to someone, a friend or a relative, in this time of madness was strong. It helped to calm frayed nerves, acted as a grounding for the widow, and the person often knew the dead, could comfort the widow with encouragement, talk her down in moments of madness.

"Your welcome K'Ren, your health is important and I care about you."  Daniel said as he took a bite from his own plate, he made sure to keep close physical contact with her while he was eating though he knew that she would like that.  "How are you liking it?"

"It's nice. I enjoy both Terran and Caet food, though my Caet side needs more protien and less starches. A good steak and potatoes satisfies both of my human and Caet appetites." She purred, "I seem to recall you were always a hearty steak and potatoes man yourself."

"I am, although any food that has a lot of substance to it I enjoy.  In the domes eating meat was reserved for the the higher castes, I never had real meat until my first tour of duty on the Navarre."  Daniel said, while his parents were of a high caste, his aunt and uncle were not and thus the only meat products they had were meat by-products, though they typically had more pasta dishes in the household he grew up in.

"Domes?" She'd not heard about his earlier years, though admittedly she rarely spoke of her early years either, it wasn't exactly a thing of pride for her. "When I was growing up we ate a lot of protein, though what passed for protein on my homeworld was nothing like what Terrans, and even Caits considered meat."

"Yeah Ouranos and Daedalos Domes, I grew up in Daedalos Dome."  Daniel said, he realized that he hadn't really spoke of his past with her all that much, they had spoken of a lot of subjects and they knew each other well but they never really spoke about their pasts to each other, that would definitely be something Daniel would have to work on with her.  "What kind of protein foods did you have?"

"I'm not 100% sure what they were, but they certainly didn't taste like what I can get in replicators," she remarked. "The food was palatable, and when that's all you know you accept it as normal. It was some sort of processed meat protein mom could get for cheap through a local grocer. That was the best she could get on her income as a prostitute, not exactly a lucrative profession on any world, running tricks."

"Interesting, well at least now we have our choice of food."  Daniel said with a chuckle eating some more.  "Is prostitution legal on other worlds?  Within Neo-ECON society it's legal and encouraged. "  Daniel said, it wasn't a common thing but it was a government sponsored organization.  He wasn't quite sure how other worlds dealt with it, mostly because he had never really looked, besides if he really need the companionship of a woman he'd visit the holodeck, he wondered if that's what other people did as well.

"Legal or not, it's practiced. I don't know if it was legal on my home world, but my mother was involved in the trade." K'Ren remarked. "But yes, Starfleet does have far more exotic choices of meat available, a list I have yet to work my way through completely." She grinned, "Your favorite?"

Daniel nodded.  "I don't know really, my family usually served pasta because meat wasn't always necessary and larger meals could be made from it.  Although this kielbasa is actually really good, I'd never had it until I joined Starfleet."  Daniel said, he still recalled his first kielbasa meal, it had been served as an side for his omelet.

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This Joint-Post: Part 2, brought to you by the letter A and the writers Havenborn and SummerDawn

Re: CH06 S [D03|1430] One Last Chance To Say Goodbye

Reply #3 – July 03, 2021, 07:05:53 AM

[ LT Daniel Havenborn, Callsign: Salvo & ENS K’Ren, Callsign: Neko | Daniel's Quarters | USS Theurgy, Vector 2 ] ]

Daniel nodded.  "I don't know really, my family usually served pasta because meat wasn't always necessary and larger meals could be made from it.  Although this kielbasa is actually really good, I'd never had it until I joined Starfleet."  Daniel said, he still recalled his first kielbasa meal, it had been served as an side for his omelet.(edited)

"I think the only protein I'm not super fond of is fish, at least Terran fish." K'Ren remarked, taking a bit of her sausage. "Something about the texture of the meat, and the skin isn't exactly tasty, too slimy."

Daniel nodded.  "I enjoy some Terran fish but not all and only if it's cooked a certain way."  He said.  "My people have a small aquaculture farm reserved for government officials."  He said, he'd never had any kind of fish when he had lived in the domes, it was another food that he had enjoyed after he had left his homeland.  "Hopefully we'll get some time to rest now that we've arrived at the Klingon home world."  Daniel said.(edited)

K'Ren nodded, "Perhaps you could show me these ways you enjoy fish." She purred a little, leaning back in the couch, "I hope we have some downtime, but somehow, I doubt we will until this matter is settled."

"If we're not on call tomorrow I shall prepare a fish dinner for us."  Daniel said, while he could make something now he wanted to look through what options he had beforehand and maybe get some tips from Miri, she had much more experience when it came to Terran foods.  "I do too, although I'm fairly sure that Commander Ravon will pull you from active flight duty due to your condition."  He said.

She placed her plate down, the sausage long gone and curled up aginst Daniel, nuzzling him a little. "A fish dinner sounds wonderful." Purring, she looked up at him, "And I highly doubt Ravon will permit me to fly once he is apprised of my mental state."

"Indeed, I'm going to miss having you on my wing."  Daniel said, she was one of the last Grey Wolves and the second person who had served with him the longest.  "Don't worry though, we'll get through this together."(edited)

"I know we will, and part of me hopes this time is easier then it was with Markus." She purred softly as she tried to curl into his side, rest before the madness she knew was coming. "Hold me Daniel, keep me close?"

Daniel nodded and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him.  "I hope so too K'Ren."  He said.

(fin. Join us again next time when our hero Daniel sacrifices his quarters to Caitian madness.)