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Day 16 [1100 hrs.] Big House Visit

[ Lt. Cmdr Vael Kaeris| Security Center | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Auctor Lucan

Vael strode down the hallway, although those few who knew his pace and mannerisms could readily tell that although there was purpose in his footsteps, there was precious little in the way of business.  Having spent an exhaustive night viewing and reviewing the results of his experiment the day before and preparing the requisite reports and designing a veritable plethora of secondary objectives as a result of its success, he had secured a morning of quiet reflection that he occasionally indulged.

Of course, to say there was no purpose in this morning's activities was not wholly accurate.  He did, after all, promise to check in on the doctor and he could not abide his commitments overlooked.  There was a certain level of appreciation that the doctor had agreed to subject himself to the experimentation and an equal amount of concern as to his well-being thereafter.

His PADD, ever present, bore some potential options for reconstructing the doctor's hand that he thought the doctor might welcome once freed of his current condition -- it was something he noticed that seemed bothersome and, in the end, was it not his purpose to restore a patient to their prime if at all possible?  He may not be in sickbay, but he could not so readily dismiss his medical training.

The thought of inviting him to a more formalized tea ceremony had crossed his mind, but under the circumstance, the replicator in security would have to serve, as shallow as its favor threshold was.  He did not expect that the captain would be overly appreciative of an assistant science officer removing a prisoner from confinement for the sake of proper refreshment.  But he had gone so far as to bring a chig'ji'uan with him -- not his original, true, but a half-way decent fabrication that he spent some hours refining and perfecting as best he could.  His old crew often compared it to somewhere between a Terran koto and a Vulcan harp, although each had their own distinctions to those of a more discerning ear.  It was another tool of his meditations and he hoped it might ease the doctor's thoughts in this troubling time.

As the security doors opened, Vael stepped inside, inclining his head to the officer on duty.  "I have come to check on Dr. Nicander."

Re: Day 16 [1100 hours] Big House Visit

Reply #1 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @steelphoenix
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It had been two days since he agreed to Commander KAeris unorthodox plan of narrowing down the exact phase variance in which the parasites existed, and if Lucan was to be completely honest about it, he still hadn't quite come to terms with the fallout.

Lying there on his bunk in his holding cell, the sense of mortality that had come with... feeling it.... encroaching upon his insides, and the way the voice of the thing had become so loud in his mind, it lingered still. It had become so tangible, the presence, and the imminent moment in which he'd die - his insides transmuted with that of the thing. Organs giving out, even as the screeching sound it made inside him would die. And as the parasite was no more, he would not have the protection it provided either. For when he'd been shot with a phaser, the abyss had been there to animate him, even if he ought to have been dying from his injury. No, there would have been nothing barring him from oblivion.

Though as frightening as the sense of mortality had been... that silent screech in his head stayed with him the most. He could still hear it at any given time, overriding the voices of the android and the Bactrican. It was a source of unease, and yet he kept telling himself that it was all worth it. That science could now prevail and that he might finally be free of it. Only he knew that it was not a certainty. A mere hope for the future, that he'd be able to be himself again...

Question was if anyone aboard would actually see him for whom he was, and even if they did, would they even care? Would his sacrifices and aid be enough to redeem him? He had the distinct feeling that it wasn't so simple, if judging the temperament of some visitors he'd had. Commander Ducote seemed moronically bent on hating him, parasite or not, just like Doctor Kobol , but that had its obvious explanation. Lucan had met the same distrust from other telepaths during his life, and he pitied their stunted perception of those around them they couldn't read. Then again, he might also share a similar bias, in how his own people could not understand why Betazoids weren't somehow restricted from prying into the minds of others.

Since he was a Câroon uniquely having experienced what it was like to have someone inside your mind, his opinion on telepaths had merely solidified. Let them hate me, for at this rate, I have nothing but contempt for them in kind. What they do to others ought to be a crime.

Ji, however, and Vinata, they did not seem so inclined to judge him. Even Kaeris treated him with respect, though he was likely just a scientific curiosity to that Batrican. None of the counsellors had bothered to visit him, Ejek and Hathev both gone, which he firmly believed to be misconduct on their part, since if anyone aboard was tormented, he believed he qualified among the worst cases. He was unsure what Ives' opinion was, but he feared that with the passing of Nicole Howard - which he had no willing part in - the Captain likely wanted to deflect his own blame for that tragedy. Commander Martin had never visited since that first hearing after the battle with the Borg. Evelyn Rawley, the pilot, had made it clear where she stood as far as he was concerned. Both Ravon and Isley likely thought the same because of what he'd made Doctor Maya do to them. And Maya, she had - understandably - not come to visit him either, even if he owed her a debt he'd never be able to repay, her actions in the battle with Martok saving not just him, but the entire crew complement of the Sword.

A sound from outside the holding cell made him turn his head, and he sat up. His metal hand slid against the edge of the bunkbed as he stood up, barefoot and wearing trousers and his teal undershirt. With the collar unzipped, he hiked up his sleeves and walked up to the forcefield in time for the visitor to appear outside it.

"Kaeris?" he asked, eyebrows rising, "Back so soon? Don't tell me you've made progress already?"

OOC: He can't have, just yet, but with the phase variance nailed down, the work ought to have begun, and all the transporters and airlocks have been fine-tuned towards that specific variance to shorten the security sweeps.

Re: Day 16 [1100 hours] Big House Visit

Reply #2 –
[ Lt. Cmdr Vael Kaeris| Security Center | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Auctor Lucan


Vael tilted his head slightly.  "No, doctor," he replied.  "I am afraid only Engineering has the erroneous title of miracle workers.  Science requires a bit more grounding and effort than blind faith and falsified timeframes."  His statements were hardly chastising or even disapproving.  One might even consider them light hearted and conversational -- not overly unlike his bedside manner.

"That isn't to say that your cooperation was unfruitful.  Quite the contrary, the results from the testing you agreed to has allowed us to optimize several testing paths and has saved us perhaps weeks of second hand refinement.  I made certain to include reference to your assistance in our results when I made my reports."  He pulled up a seat to the edge of the forcefield, arranging his instrument neatly on his lap.  Although still dressed in uniform, his hair was left somewhat loose -- still ornately arranged, but not quite to Starfleet regulation. 

Feeling Nicander's eyes on him, Vael looked up.  "Ah, yes.  My having been on duty since the Endeavour's original encounter with the Borg was... considered excessive.  There was significant recommendation that I should consider a day off before immersing myself back into my duties.  That said, I did make it known my intention to check up on your well being, even in an unofficial capacity."

He held up his instrument in demonstration.  "Something from my homeworld that I'd the opportunity replicate," he noted.  "I find that it is most soothing.  Given what I understand your experiences to be, I can imagine them most unsettling, so I thought perhaps this might give you some level of relief."  With a light touch across the strings, a soft chord seemed to fill the corners of the cell.  Arching an eyebrow, he also slid his PADD towards the access port.  "I've also taken the liberty of proposing some options to properly restore your hand when all is said and done.  I've ranked them in terms of difficulty and chance for favorable restoration."  The PADD itself was limited to this singular task, but was comprehensive in terms of the solutions considered -- from biomimetic gel to asymmetrical cloning of his remaining hand. 

"Of course we'll need to alleviate you of your status as a host, most likely, but I am certain V-Nine would be more appreciative in assisting repair the damage you've suffered rather than to risk inflicting you with more."

Another light strum across the taught strings, this time punctuated by a staccato rhythm not unlike the song of birds.

Re: Day 16 [1100 hours] Big House Visit

Reply #3 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @steelphoenix
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A mix of consternation and disappointment came to Lucan first, his momentary hopes about Kaeris having made expedient results ending up squashed. Consternation, however, remained since he didn't grasp why the Bactrican had come. It gradually became clear, however, that if anything... the visit was actually one of a more sociable nature.

At first, he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Was it a ploy? Lucan's trust towards the crew was spotty, since each individual seemed to have a different understanding about his guilt and role in the ship's ordeals. So far, Commander Kaeris had given him no reason to doubt his honesty, and while he was affiliated with both Ducote and Kobol  from the Endeavour, the Science officer didn't seem to share their distrust for him. Yet another indication that it was his zi'naaq energy body that caused the majority of the First Officer's and Chief Medical Officer's distrust - preventing them from reading his mind and subsequently being biased about him. If their close colleague from the Endeavour could find it in himself to give Lucan the benefit of the doubt - even at a modicum - perhaps there was hope yet? At least Lucan wanted to think so, and not dismiss the Bactrican's presence as something inconsequential. Was it just a whim, because he more or less had been forced to take time off duty? No, Lucan had to think that if Kaeris actually came to visit on his own time, then there was no cause to distrust his intentions.

So, he relaxed a little, eyeing the instrument the scientist brought and accepting the PADD through the revolving slot in the forcefield barrier that allowed for meals. Soothing music? he thought as he activated the display on the datapad and looked at the selection of solutions for his arm. He hadn't even considered music to dampen the residual turmoil of his ordeals. "Back in Envon, in my youth," he began to say as he looked at the display, "I enjoyed symphonic wind music, made by funnelling air streams through a talaan, which I guess is best described as a large cluster of intersecting pipe organs..."

A stray comment, because he found himself a bit at a loss for words. He was looking through the suggestions on how to replace his crude and simplistic prosthetic, and having helped many patients with the loss of limbs, he was still impressed with the offered ideas. Cloning was a bit of a controversial area in Starfleet Medical, because of scripture dated all the way back to the Eugenic Wars, so he could but assume that the Savi android might offer unorthodox options, or the Batrican had a more liberal view because of his main field being in Science rather than Medical. He would need some time to think on the alternatives, and like Kaeris said, they might want to remove the parasite before he'd get a new limb anyway.

"Thank you for this gesture, I appreciate it," he said as he sent the list to his own stand-alone PADD, and returned the one Kaeris had brought. Him having digital access to anything besides his own PADD wasn't an option, because he might come across data he wasn't privy to, like navigational logs or messages that might compromise the Theurgy's current coordinates. A prudent precaution, which he'd been very firm with adhering to since he constantly lived in a situation where he couldn't trust his own knowledge to be limited to himself, but also accessible by the darkness presiding inside him. Luckily, it wouldn't matter in the slightest if their enemy knew that they were developing means to free hosts, because as far as Lucan knew, there was naught the parasites could do about it anyway beyond what they've already tried to do.

"Music does soothe the... memory," he said, and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. "Never before have the parasite existed so closely to our own reality, the flux ended. By the winds, the sound it made as it was almost brought into our presence, it was beyond animal, and louder in my head than it has ever been before. It does suggest, however, that even if the thing is a mere extension of the chaos plane from which it sprung... this extension has a level of individual understanding of it's own pending demise. It seemed clear from what I heard, that it understood - on some level - that it was about to fuse with the biological matter of my body on a molecular level. It begs the question if it lied when it claimed the parasites in the hosts are not individual entities... or if they were once creatures in their own right... that became focal points through which the nameless darkness spreads its domain... They might even be bred, these things, for the purpose of being passed to hosts..."

Speculations, since without staring into the abyss, he had no chance of learning the truth of his guesswork. Reduced as the influence of the darkness was over him, he didn't have the access he once had to the vast pool of knowledge beyond the precipice of his own existence.

"I have merely experienced possession, and not witnessed this breach we've speculated to exist," he said quietly as the music played in the brig, "nor how the parasites become manifest, be it they spring from this breach... or created on this side of reality."

He paused, knowing that Kaeris was off duty, and respected that. Instead, he smiled faintly. "Thank you. Is there hope for me yet, or is it merely you among the more senior officers that actually give credence to my unwilling part in all of this?"

Re: Day 16 [1100 hours] Big House Visit

Reply #4 –
[ Lt. Cmdr Vael Kaeris| Security Center | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Auctor Lucan


"A talaan," Vael repeated, considering the term.  He was unfamiliar with it, as he was unfamiliar with much of the doctor's people or culture.  If time were more forgiving at the moment, he might avail himself to review some of the more concise cultural indices to give him a better basis for understanding and associating with the doctor.  Simply know the backgrounds of things was sufficient to a proper bedside manner.  It was the why's and wherefore's of a people that often gave them comfort when circumstances proved less than ideal.  The familiar soothed the spirit in times of strife.  "I am unfamiliar with it, but I am certain Thea has some holodeck programs that I can review."

He listened as Lucan expressed his experience at the "hands" of the parasite that yet lingered within him, nodding as the doctor speculated on the potential nascent individuality their last encounter may have evoked or revealed.  "My own species once shared a hive mentality, but in time, we grew beyond our collective to become individuals.  What you speculate may have merit," he posited as his fingers continued to strum across the array of strings.  "It is unfortunate they have demonstrated no desire to negotiate, but perhaps now that we have demonstrated the potential to visit on them a fate as... definitive as what they intend for us, it might be sufficient to initiate a dialog."

Raising his gaze to the doctor, "And unfortunately, until we are able to have the same level of insight into their nature as they into ours, such will likely go unknown.  Although I do have to wonder -- if the parasites were successful in annihilating all sentient life, there is nothing that does not allow it to evolve again, in a new and unexpected form.  Many planets have undergone extinction level events only to become repopulated in time.  And if they were to extinguish the very engine of life and leave nothing but a sterilized universe behind-- what then?"

Another strum created the soothing melody of a stream winding through a gentle meadow, punctuated with distant bird calls.  "Had they wanted isolation, they could have simply remained where they were and sealed themselves away.  Even if their borders were breached, it is far easier to defend a single front than initiate a confrontation on every front behind the enemy lines."  He had to admit there was a certain scientific curiosity in desiring to understand the parasite "logic", but again, there was the question of open and honest communication rather than threats and recriminations.  Further, his one and only access to the parasites was the doctor, and he was not about to subject him to such efforts in order to satisfy his own sense of scientific inquiry.  Either an appropriate circumstance would present itself, or it wouldn't, but it was not imperative to understand their intent to create defend one's self from extermination.

That was, afterall, one of the fundamentals of life -- to adapt, to change, to survive.

The doctor seemed to express a parallel thought, although one more of causation, but there was a certain symmetry in their questioning, at least until he expressed the underlying question of despair vs hope and wondering which seemed to hold dominion over his fate. 

Vael paused for the barest of moments as he considered.  "I cannot speak for everyone.  I suspect there are those who have yet to differentiate your actions from those of the parasite.  Some require a... tangible target to be the subject of their ire.  But, I suspect some of the command crew are... more open to the idea.  They all know there is a difference between the two, but it is difficult to trust when they cannot be assured who they are dealing with."  It was the truth as far as he had seen it.  He was no telepath and wasn't inclined to delve into the psyche of his fellow crew mates unless volunteered, and as he had not suddenly joined the counseling team, such as generally unlikely.  "But they do recognize your willingness to abide here and to share what you can, and I believe that has brought some over to your side."
 

Re: Day 16 [1100 hours] Big House Visit

Reply #5 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @steelphoenix
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It was not as disheartening to hear the answer as he'd believed, when Kaeris told Lucan what he knew.

"So there is hope for me yet? That they might accept I am not the enemy, but a victim? By the winds, I hardly believe it," he said with a weary chuckle. Then his thoughts turned towards Kaeris' superior officer, and her behaviour during the last hearing. Ought he to say something? It had been clear that she and the Bactrican had vastly different approaches in regard to his fate, and it seemed impossible for Martin to accept his apology.

"I presume Commander Martin does not share that sentiment," he said quietly as he listened to the soothing music. "It seemed clear she was not forgiving, or even willing to consider the possibility of my innocence, or my believe how able I am to control what presides inside me, now that I am split from it by the transphasic light. For it to take over, a phaser had to nearly cut me in half, and I was able to remain steadfast and in control when the darkness needed me the most. You saw me there, on the bridge of the Theurgy, and while I could have done something to enable the Borg invasion, I didn't, because I am not what I were before. I cannot fathom how they might believe otherwise... but then again, I am somwhat biased in that particular regard."

He chuckled, looking at the bulkheads, thinking out loud to fill a silence embellished by the Bactrican's skilled hands on his instrument.

"A fair price, I guess, for not telling anyone that I was an Infested after Starbase 84, thinking my research was more important; finding a way to fight the enemy since I was able to test the effectiveness on myself. That, and fearing this harried crew might kill me without letting me get a word in edge-wise. I shan't complain. By the winds, I am lucky being here, and having this chance to redeem myself."

He turned his head to look at Kaeris then. "I should have known, however," he said with a rueful smile. "I'm a Doctor, not a scientist. I would not have come as far as you have."

- FIN
 
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