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Topic: CH05: S [D06|1015] On the rocks? (Read 11307 times) previous topic - next topic
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Re: CH05: S [D06|1015] On the rocks?

Reply #25 –
Lt. Cmdr Vivian Martin | Vivian’s Quarters | USS Theurgy ]   Attn: @Masorin
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Vivian wasn't sure what his reply would be, but looked up at him when he told her that he admired her? Even after what she as doing to him. "You admire me? Why?" she asked, her voice a mix of sadness and confusion. Personally she didn't feel that there was anything admirable in what she was doing. Especially when he brushed her hair with his claw. It had been a long time since somebody had cared for her like he did, treated her he did and she was throwing that away and doing it so soon after his other partner had died, what was admirable about that?

As he continued speaking, she felt even worse about herself and did some kind of half nod, half shake of her head at the same time. "I am and I'm not. I do need to do this for myself. I've hidden away from my issues, I've leaned on other people with my one night stands and even with you. I need to do this myself to see if I can. If I can stand up by myself and be okay without using others." she told him, hoping he would explain. "I'm also doing this for you though. I don't know what the end result is going to be, and if at the end of it I realise I'm not ready for a relationship, be that with you or anybody else I don't want to drag you along all that time only to hurt you much more then. I'd feel like the whole time I'd been giving you false hope and I don't want to do that to you, you deserve so much better than that." she told him. "Part of me doesn't want to let you go either, I've more than enjoyed what we have and emotionally you've given me something I haven't had since Jessica died but if I let you keep doing that and like I said if therapy helps me see that I need time to myself, that pain will hurt both of us so much more and I can't put either of us through that, do you understand? It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Especially you. You deserve so much more than that." she told him. It was true too but this was something she needed to do for herself as much as a part of her hated herself for it.

When he broke their embrace to go and retrieve his clothing, she suddenly felt cold and so very alone. She did not like that feeling, being alone. It actually scared her, but that was the whole point of everything she was doing, to see if she could handle being alone and if not, hopefully getting back to that among other things.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Sithick returned to stand in front of her, holding out his clothes towards her, causing her to arch her eyebrow in complete confusion. Why was he offering her his clothes? Did he plan on walking back to his quarters naked? "Wh... she had just started to say when Sithick spoke up, explaining it to her.

"Oh no. No I don't want to throw those out or scream at you, of course not. Nor are most human break ups like that. They're usually like that when one or both people grow to dislike each other, most are just...sad." she told him, wondering just where and how many breakups he had witnessed to make him think that was how all  Human relationships ended. "If anything you should be the one screaming at me." she told him in all honesty, and she wouldn't blame him for it in the slightest.

At his words that he would be around when he was needed, she nodded. Vivian knew that he meant it in the moment and he probably would, but then again people can say that all the time with breakups like this, but they don't always turn out like that. Especially when one wants to stay and the other wants to go and not only had he said that he didn't want to leave but she had seen the way he'd looked at her, could still see his hardness. He would miss her emotionally sure, as would she but she wasn't naive enough to not know that he wouldn't also miss having sex with her. Admittedly she would miss having that thickness of his spreading her and filling her up too but she was the one ending it.

Could he really say that and still see her wandering the ship? Possibly picturing her naked, remembering the times they had had together and not grow to resent the fact that he couldn't have that anymore? And what if she did go to therapy and get herself fix and not return to him? What if she ended up with a new mate instead? They were hypothetical situations for now of course, but not entirely out of the realms of possibility either. Even if he didn't hate her now and would be willing to be there for her, that didn't necessarily mean he always would be.

"I hope so." she told him honestly "And I do want us to remain friends Sithick, the offer is there for you as well if you need something. Just this... she said, motioning a hand between her naked body and his "...This won't be happening." she added. A part of her wanted so despirately to add "At least for now." to the end of that sentence but that would be giving him false hope that she couldn't guarantee, which was the exact reason why she was breaking things off now, to avoid that very situation.





Re: CH05: S [D06|1015] On the rocks?

Reply #26 –
PO2 Sithick |Vivian's quarters | USS Theurgy  ] attn: @Kinvarus
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"You are, how do I say zhis." He paused for a moment to tap his snout. "You are durable. You are cute, smart, you has made me laugh more zhen once. Knowing what I do now about your previous partner I hope I can has that toughness." Lahkesis had died, and Now Vivian was leaving him, it wouldn't sink in till tomorrow just how alone that would make him feel, and he was putting off those feelings for the moment. He didn't want to embrace those thoughts yet.

He moved a bit closer to Vivian, He moved to embrace her one last time knowing full well that this would be the last time he would feel her naked flesh. His strong claws wrapped around her, and lifted her with ease so that she could be better held in his grip. He looked into her sad, brown eyes for a moment his own yellow ones reflecting her face back at her as he looked at her depressed that he wouldn't get to have this kind of physical contact again, but slowly he put her back down, His claws taking their sweet time to really pull away from her skin as she felt so warm and comfortable with him.

He supposed she was right some part of him did feel a bit like he was being abandoned that he had some right to anger, but then he remembered the reason why this was happening, and he just quieted himself slowly. "Get the help you need." His deep growl of a voice tempered with a lingering sadness. He wanted to kiss her, but after the last minute lifting embrace that felt somehow even less appropriate plus his lack of lips always made that part difficult.

He slowly started to get his clothing back on. Pulling his uniform on piece by piece, he found it kinda difficult to fit himself in his pants, normally his cock was held internally so his pants weren't exactly built with it's girth or size in mind, It took him a few moments of shaking and stumbling before he was fully dressed.  She was right, it seemed most breakups were just sad. He wasn't sure how this would work out in the long run, but he did know one thing. He had no vindictive or anger towards her, just a bit of sadness and longing.

He walked to the door. He had asked a question, and got an answer he hadn't really wanted, but at least now he knew what was going on. "I am your friend yes." He took a breath. "You are right, zhis is just... sad," He turned on the translator on his collar his voice becoming that more feminine robotic setting he prefered to use. "But I don't mind being sad, I just want to see you happy."

He turned back towards her, tilting and opening his mouth trying his best though he struggled too maintain his usual reptilian smile. His eyes watered, and he closed them quickly turning away, it took a lot of things to make him cry, and he would not let Vivian see that, He wasn't comfortable with that thought at all. He checked to make sure there were no other life signs on the other side of the door, and opened it walking out into the hall.

Once he was away from Vivian, within the safety of his quarters then he laid down flat on his stomach, letting himself hit the hard bed he used. His body going limp as he laid down, misery. Would she have done the same thing if he were not a Gorn? He huffed for a moment. "Shouldn't have asked." He said with a soft growl.


OOC: Your post will finish up the thread.
 

Re: CH05: S [D06|1015] On the rocks?

Reply #27 –
Lt. Cmdr Vivian Martin | Vivian’s Quarters | USS Theurgy ]   Attn: @Masorin
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Vivian watched the tall Lizard as he started speaking, taking a moment to ponder how to phrase what he wanted to say. Durable? She wondered that was unique to say the least, she'd never been called durable before and it as he spoke it made sense to her. She was strong enough to not let Jessica's death destroy her and leave her a crumbling mess. She couldn't help but smile slightly, he was right in that she supposed, although what she'd ended up doing instead wasn't exactly the best thing either. "I can say those same things about you too, you know. You're cute, adorable, kind, smart and you've made me laugh too. I..thank you for thinking that as for toughness, I don't know if I am but you don't have to be tough and how you deal with things is up to each person. Mine was the wrong way so don't do what I did but whatever works for you is the right way, the tough way." she told him, she wasn't sure if it would help but she felt like she needed to do something to help lessen this for him if she could.

She was, admittedly taken a little by surprise when he moved closed and embraced her, picking her up with ease to hold her better, although whether this was just a hug or a way for him to savour the feel of her naked body and it against his...perhaps both even she didn't know, nor would she deny him the opportunity either, instead she wrapped her arms around him and held him too. After all it was the last time she would be able to do the same for him as well. She could see herself reflected in his eyes and could almost see the sadness in those yellow orbs, before she could say or do anything though he slowly put her back down, although his claws lingered on her for a while before reluctantly withdrawing from her.

Another silence passed between the Human and Gorn and Vivian briefly wondered what would happen next, if she were to guess he was having some kind of internal debate with himself after her comment about how he should be mad at her and scream. She wouldn't blame him and even started preparing herself for the outburst, instead he simply told her to get the help that she needed. His deep growl having a tone of support for her intermixed with a sadness that lingered and made her feel so terrible about all of this. "I will." she replied, her own voice filled with a similar sadness.

 Being her quarters there wasn't much she could really do but stand there waiting as Sithick got dressed, struggling with his pants as his still hard cock caused him issues until he eventually managed to figure out some sort of arrangement that seemed to work for him. Nothing was said as he finished and made his way towards the door, until he had pretty much reached it. Yet she smiled softly when he told her that he was her friend. "I'm glad. I'm yours too." she told him in return.

The sadness returned however when he told her that it was just sad and felt her heartache, for both of them. "Yeah, yeah it is." she whispered. With his back to her, she couldn't see what he was doing as he adjusted his collar until he spoke again, hearing not his own voice but the translator instead. It made her wonder if he didn't want to talk to her normal voice, if he simply wanted to hide whatever emotion would be in it or what but regardless it didn't matter, his words did and it made her feel both happy that he wanted what was best for her and sad that he was clearly a great man and she had just broken his heart. "Thank you Sithick."

Vivian watched as he turned to face her, his maw opening and closing as he tried to say something or perhaps smile despite the situation, although he could tell he was struggling to do so. She understood. For a very brief moment she could see his eyes watering but he quickly closed them and turned away, not wanting her to see him cry, which made her feel terrible for causing such sadness in such a gentle creature. That feeling only intesified when she watched him check to make sure nobody was on the opposite side of the door before stepping out into the hallway. Yet another reminder of the fact she had never wanted anybody to see him enter or exit her quarters, even though she was sure most people already knew that they had been sleeping together. Yet despite everything he still accommodated that instead of just walking out without a care, all to protect her from some petty embarrassment. She was a horrible person.

As the door hissed shut, Vivian remained where she was, naked, cold and so very alone. She could feel the tears start falling down her cheeks an heard the sob that escaped from the back of her throat. A small part of her telling her to chase him down and call him back but that wouldn't do either of them any good. Eventually moving over to the bed that they had earlier shared together, still a mess, she collapsed onto it and allowed herself to cry.

She cried for hurting Sithick, she cried for giving up someone who had clearly cared for her, she cried for Jessica and she cried for herself. For this person she had allowed herself to become by hiding from her grief instead of facing it. She cried for the situation they found themselves in and the hopelessness of it all. She cried for her brother, her lost mother, her father. Everything she had been bottling up for so long she cried about until she had cried herself to sleep.

-FIN
 
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