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Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

MATTERS OF THE HEART

[ Ens. Vinata Vojona  | Security Centre | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] ATTN: @Auctor Lucan
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Day 06
Stardate: 57571.67
March 16, 2381 @ 1430hrs

It had been a couple of days since Vinata had paid a visit to Lieutenant Williams and sought guidance on several issues. Even though it had been a single session, the Ovri had found it most valuable in helping to finalize a decision on paying Doctor Nicander a visit in the Brig. Vinata could no longer deny his own distractions at present, as much as he had tried since they arrived at Aldea. His progressively worse day dreaming and wandering thoughts had begun to interfere in his own duties aboard the Theurgy, which was simply unacceptable.

He tugged on his uniform tunic , adjusted the height of his skirt and smiled as his large and bug-like eyes took in the sight of reflection. His body was accentuated by the change in uniform he had embraced as of late, his curves much more pronounced and feminine like in the eyes of his non-Ovri counterparts, his bustline most firm and plump as well. What was truly different about him now was what was below all of this… Confusing perhaps but Vinata had become more comfortable with not having his male appendage, the idea of staying as is had run across his thoughts more than approaching V-Nine for gender reassignment now too.

What was bothering Vinata most, besides the fury of inner-emotion and conflict in regards to Nicander, was an ever growing urge to explore himself and the possibilities of joy and ecstasy his new anatomy could bring. In easier times, he could have simply allowed Nicander to take him… To enter him… To share with him in this exploration...

 ‘Do I really still want that?’Vinata thought - a deep and rash feeling of terror briefly took over, causing butterflies and a churning within his stomach. How could he want that? What they had was fake, an act - he had been tricked by his former companion… Or was he? Vinata’s thoughts went back to the terrifying moment within Sickbay, when he was sure Nicander would have killed him without a moment's thought. An attempt to use this thought to reframe his desire toward the man was made but to no avail.

“I still want him…. I want what we had… That is most fucked Vinata.” It was a grim realisation but Vinata could not deny it. Despite his best efforts - he still had Nicander within his heart. The Ovri looked at himself again in the mirror. “And I have most certainly made it a habit to talk to myself in the mirror far too often lately.”


‘Am I going insane? Was staying on the Theurgy an act of completely lunacy? Perhaps I should have left with Hylota…’ These were a few questions of many Vinata asked himself as he braved the journey out of his quarters and towards the Security Center which held Nicander. He was sure there were several looks of concern from crewmates as he mumbled to himself aloud and  transversed the corridors - a great deal of effort was made in talking himself out of this visit but his heart pushed his legs forward in an eerily autonomous fashion.


It was only a few minutes until he had reached the entry to the security center but it had felt like he had transported there instead of walked. ‘Last chance Vinata… You can still turn around now…’

His last thought escaped him as his heart led him past the entry and into the Brig area. In fact - his mind was in complete silence as he took in the sight of the man he had let himself fall for. The man who carried a deep and menacing darkness within him. As Vinata approached the cell, he could feel his breathing tighten - a feeling of anxiety, excitement and relief overcame him.

It took every ounce of effort to get the word out, but Vinata had managed to chirp out a meek greeting to his former Chief Medical Officer.

“Doctor…”
Ens. Vinata Vojona - Head Nurse
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Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #1 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Aharon  
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Hearing how the Brig Officer let someone into the area between the holding cells - judging by the sound of the large sliding doors of the security gateway as well as the talk between the officer and the Aide's desk in the lobby - Lucan had some forewarning about there being a visitor on his way in. Knowing this, he rose from his bunk with the PADD he was reading still in his hand, wanting to finish reading the report from the Science Department (limited as the information he got was).

He was wearing his uniform trousers, but preferred to be bare-feet as according to his native culture. Being in the brig did allow him some liberties in such regards since he wasn't exactly on duty. He'd just pushed his arms through the sleeves of his teal undershirt, hiking up the sleeves and not bothering to zip it, so when he rose, it hung open, and with his hair more unkempt than usual, one might think he'd just woken up if it wasn't for the keen stare of his pale grey eyes. When the voice outside the forcefield reached him, he lowered his PADD and looked up...

...seeing a someone he'd never thought would come to visit him willingly.

"Vinata," he said, his eyebrows rising for a moment. He noticed the skirt uniform, and remembered a conversation of old between them, in which he'd told the Ovri that regardless if he'd adopt to the gender standards common to most other species or if he'd stick to the Ovri customs, it was ultimately a choice for Vinata alone, and that no one had any business judging him for it. Certainly not himself, having experienced how Vinata had adopted to life aboard the Theurgy despite all the set-backs. This was before the latest of them, however, when the thing inside hadn't just almost killed him and Hylota, but the Ovri had also been abducted by the Savi. He'd heard that both got back aboard, but that Hylota had left with the egg. He also knew about Maal's fate, which was tragic not just for the Ovri, but for himself. Maal - for all his brutish and dim-witted comments and actions - had served next to Lucan since the Theurgy was commissioned. The loss of that short-haired Klingon had been more keenly felt than he thought it might be.

"By the winds, I had never thought you'd come here. If I did, I would have thought of something appropriate to say... given the circumstances," he said quietly in his deep voice and moved to the small fold-out table, putting the PADD there. He took a deep breath. "First of all, I am sorry for not telling you about how I... reclaimed full control of myself at Starbase 84. I know you and I got to know each other before then, in ways not wholly according to protocol... but I just want you to know that after that battle, I was myself, in how I could suppress the influence of this thing inside me. I should have told you, but... as I have said to others who came here before you, I was... afraid."

Sighing, Lucan ran his artificial hand through his hair - the ceramic and carbon fibre digits cold to his scalp. It was a reminder about the event in his office, during which he'd just been a spectator, his actions and words driven by the chaos that dwelt inside. He remembered how Jovela and K'Ren had managed to fire against him, and how he'd lost his right hand. If K'Ren hadn't opted for a stun setting, he'd no longer be alive. Nor would he have been able to save those on the Sword when they fought High Chancellor Martok and the IKC Rotarran. Much less had he been able to mention the Omega Device at the end of the battle at the apertures. In a way, K'Ren's mercy had been instrumental in stopping the Borg invasion. Odd, when thinking about things in such a fashion.

"I was afraid that the officers aboard this ship had been hunted for too long. That they were desperate in learning what the enemy was, so that they would resort to anything to get their answers. More so because I had been aboard the Theurgy for much longer than Sonja Acreth, and that they would have sought vengeance upon me for misleading them for so long. I would even understand how they might. By the winds, the things I did under the influence of this thing..."

He trailed off, not wishing to remember and relive the things he'd done, his actions not his own. The doubt had always been there, like an echo of the man he used to be, but in the end, his will had been entirely subdued by the nameless darkness. "So I didn't tell anyone, since I believed I was in control, and I thought I might aid the mission with my undisturbed research into the bio-luminescence that restored me and the correlation with the darkness. I prioritised the mission. Not myself, as many might see it. This was, however, until I was hurt by that Devoted that hit me with the phaser beam..." he said, and lifted one side of his undershirt, indicating the seam between his own skin and that of the synthflesh that covered the affected area. At a loss for further words, he paused, before taking another breath.

"My apologies, Vinata. I am rambling. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, and that I am in control once more - my health enabling my body to not rely on the parasite animating me and my mind." Looking at the Ovri, Lucan didn't know if what he said held any import, or made any difference. "I only wish I could have told Hylota the same, before she left. I was never with her after the battle at Starbase 84, but my other side... it had almost almost killed her before then, and removed her memory engrams of the event. If you ever see her again, will you let her know?"

Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #2 –
[ Ens. Vinata Vojona  | Security Centre | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] ATTN: @Auctor Lucan
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He didn’t think it possible but his own heart started to race even more, Vinata was sure he was on the verge of some supraventricular tachycardic event. The cause? The mere auditory stimulation of hearing Nicander say his name once more. The Ovri shifted uncomfortably in place as he struggled to maintain eye contact with his former superior officer.

Vinata had played this scenario out in his own mind hundreds of times in the past several days - he had more words than he could say in a lifetime to the Doctor but alas the room fell silent between them after Nicander stated his name. His own mouth opened in an attempt to acknowledge that he had heard and processed Lucan’s reply but his vocal cords could not resonate even the slightest chirp.

Thankfully Lucan had continued to speak - listening at this moment was the only thing Vinata found himself capable of. He took in what seemed like an honest and true apology on behalf of Nicander. ‘Sorry….’ Vinata repeated this in his head over and over again, savouring the sound of it in Lucan’s voice.

That is what he came here for, right...? To get an apology…? No… Yes….. NO!

There was that anger again, creeping up over the wall of chaotic emotion he experienced in plenty as of late. Vinata wanted to be angry with Lucan. It seemed easier than letting things go - then forgiving the man for doing the terrible things he did. It wasn’t his fault though - Vinata knew that deep down, at least the parts when that dark void within him had been in control.  What about when he hadn’t? He heard Lucan’s excuse, it seemed sincere and Vinata understood being afraid - he was afraid everyday in his own existence now - exacerbated by the fact he felt so alone.

That feeling of loneliness was gone at this moment though, now that he stood across from the closest person to him he had left on the Theurgy. This was the true Lucan Nicander - it just had to be.

Vinata had remained silent for too long though. He was sure Nicander was beginning to wonder if he was even capable of communicating beyond the measures needed to verbalize the word “Doctor”. The man had rambled on for a while now, and to be honest, Vinata couldn’t have been more grateful for it.

It was however his own turn to speak now - it took more strength and effort than it should but Vinata finally expressed words “I…. I forgive you Doctor…”

The Ovri’s hand moved  up to the forcefield between them, just barely in reach of setting it off. “And I know Hyloyata would as well if she were here. Of course I will tell her. I am sorry you have struggled with this burden alone for so long.” A weight was lifted now - it was as if the thick fog within Vinata’s own mind had begun to settle out, the sun coming out once more to burn it away.

There were many questions though...

“Doctor… Was what we had between us even real? Were the moments we shared truly between us or was it solely with that darkness in you?” Vinata desired to know if their friendship, their intimacy was based in legitimacy.

“You are are all I have left Doctor. I so desired to come in here and continue to be angry with you - to say my piece and forever put you as an afterthought.” Vinata’s hand moved to wipe the developing tear in his right eye, then back down to his side. He took a moment to gather his own wandering thoughts before continuing. “I will admit now, a part within me wanted to forgive you and believe what we shared between us was based in truth… That part has won the day...”

Vinata’s hand moved up again to prevent another tear from falling. He did not want to cry - it was a sign of weakness but the fury of thoughts and feelings processing within him was nearly beyond his control. “I was so scared and confused during that dark time in Sickbay. When I felt and knew you would have killed both myself and Hylota without a moment's thought. I understand now… That was not you…. I just can’t place what was ever truly you though and not that terrible entity… This is all so truly confusing…”

Ens. Vinata Vojona - Head Nurse
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Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #3 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Aharon  
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Given all the things that Vinata told him, it pained Lucan to confirm what the Ovri might already suspect, based on what he'd already said when his new visitor arrived.

Gradually, as he had been in the brig, Lucan had come to understand the emotional impact that came in the wake of his true nature being revealed. He'd come to hurt many of the crew since they had trusted in him, confided in him as their Chief Medical Officer. Whatever friends or lovers he'd had largely come to resent him, unwilling to understand his situation because all they could see was the danger he'd represented. They all felt betrayed, and perhaps rightly so. Lucan had no means to communicate with the crew except through visitors, which was a prudent restriction since he didn't wish to know where the Theurgy was at. The risk was that if he'd know, the thing inside would know, and he was not entirely sure how the nameless darkness shared its bond between other hosts. This restriction of his interaction with the crew, however, prevented him from telling them his side of things, and he was at the complete mercy of their possible hatred for him, or the utter lack of sympathy from the Senior Staff - whom all had the means to set the record straight.

Yet here came Vinata Vojona, whom had found it in his heart to come and listen - hoping that the lies protected honest intentions and a greater good. And while this might be true, there was no hiding from the fact that the beginning of their affiliation was based on a sinister need for exploitation. A mere primal need to take advantage of the Ovri for the sake of self-gratification. Base needs prompting manipulation and use of the host's superior position; an impeccable Starfleet officer raised above all suspicion.

"Vinata, I am sorry, when we first breached protocol together, I was not myself. I was the Chief Medical Officer, and I would not have taken advantage of you the way I did. It goes against the ethics of my former position. Of course, neither Ovri nor Câroon are strictly monogamous, and compared to some other species, we might even be considered promiscuous. Nonetheless, I should have followed decorum, regardless how desirable my infested self found you and your sister. What you may not understand yet, is that the blackness of the stars that has infested me... its desires were somewhat my own, only acted upon without inhibitions, and distorted.... The parasite act through the host, and the host lend order, rationale and control over its chaotic nature. What I was... was a dark mirror image of myself, bent on fulfilling the wishes of the insatiable dark that seek to devour us all."

Lucan sighed, looked down towards the deck, and rubbed the back of his neck with his artificial hand.

"So when you let me sleep in your quarters, following the battle at Starbase 84 - when my sanity had been restored - you were no stranger to me, even if the incentive to be intimate with you had not been my choice. I remembered everything, and while I had to keep up the charade, playing this role that I had created to keep everyone around me ignorant of what I was, you were a welcome... soothing presence in that time of doubts. You were not the only one I'd been intimate with, and you hadn't been anyone special up until then... but from that point on, what we did together mattered to me, for it was a balm to harrowed situation I found myself in - unable to tell anyone what resided within me because I might be dissected like a lab rat."

He could but hope that this was answer enough for Vinata.

Honesty, after all the lies.

Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #4 –
[ Ens. Vinata Vojona  | Security Centre | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] ATTN:
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Vinata’s own suspicions had been correct - his gut feeling had told him, after learning firsthand that Nicander played host to the great darkness, that some of their relationship may have been disingenuous. Despite his own mental preparations of this fact, upon confirmation there was a slight blow to his own self-ego and he was sure it showed on his face to some extent. He had attempted to not let this show though, afterall he had been the one to show up here in the Brig and ask the questions - Lucan had only answered them in what Vinata believed was the truth thus far.

Nicander had a greater understanding of Ovri culture than most of his other crewmates on the Theurgy, it was refreshing to speak with someone who showed an innate understanding of their ways. Ovri were much more promiscuous in nature than many other species that Vinata had encountered over the years. In fact - he was sure if he and his sister had not been Ovri, that their many shared partners over time would have created a void between them. This was not the case - it hadn’t been for Maal and it certainly wouldn’t be in the way of Nicander.

“Thank you for your honesty Doctor…” There was a tone of relief within Vinata’s response, having heard from Lucan that some of their closer times had truly been of his own volition. The Ovri started to lightly pace in front of the force field, and took a few moments to let Lucan’s words truly sink in. Vinata was a Nurse and part of that profession’s nature was truly being empathetic, compassionate and understanding in their interactions. The Ovri could not imagine how difficult a position this was for his former Chief Medical Officer - to be stripped of his position, his title, his rank, to lose those who he had once called friends. What was even more frightening was Lucan’s own voiced fear of being ‘dissected like a lab rat’.

This would not happen on a Starfleet ship… Would it? It couldn’t… Vinata could not believe that after everything the Theurgy crew was fighting for, the true meaning of freedom the Federation represents, that experimentation and exploitation of a sentient being would be condoned.

Yet… This had been a true fear in Lucan.

“Doctor… Lucan… I am sorry you have had to live with this fear for so long, alone.” Vinata stopped his pacing and once again faced the Câroon. “I cannot truly understand your plight but please know that you are not alone.. You still have a friend in me..”

There was a slight change in Vinata’s posture now, a weary looking twist of the neck. “They… They would not actually go through with experimentation on you…” He looked to Lucan, hoping that both of them could truly resolve that train of thought now. There was doubt though - Vinata could not even truly entertain there being no possibility of that. It only helped him holistically understand the position that Nicander had been in.. Why the doctor had kept  things to himself.. The fear...

Ens. Vinata Vojona - Head Nurse
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Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #5 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Aharon 
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Hearing that Vinata wasn't angered or hurt by the truth, it was a relief for Lucan in more ways than how the Ovri might stay, instead of leaving him there in his solitude once more. The nurse lingered, thoughtful about what he'd just heard, and Lucan gave Vinata the time to process it all.

In the meantime, Lucan had bid his time watching Vinata walking outside the force field - noting how there might actually be a slight shift in his gait. Was it because of the skirt uniform, allowing the Ovri to undulate his hips in a less restricted way? Was this the common way in which Ovri might walk lest they wore a regular uniform? Of course, the unique and exotic qualities of the nurse wasn't lost on Lucan even though he held no hope that Vinata might actually be interested in his company any more. It was one thing to come there and learn the truth, and quite another to accept his true nature as an Infested.

When the Ovri did speak... Lucan could hardly credit what he heard. Did Vinata actually say he forgave him?

Lucan was too stunned to immediately say anything. Instead, the nurse went on to suggest that the crew would never actually have hurt him if he'd come forth as an Infested. This, Lucan was not the least convinced of, because he had known quite well what Wenn Cinn had wished to do to Sonja Acreth - the last Infested that they'd kept in a holding cell. Now, Wenn Cinn was no longer with them, so perhaps there could be some merit to Vinata's claim. Still...

"Had you been me," he said with a faint chuckle and shook his head, "and had the parasite made you do the things I did, then you might not be so certain of that. The drive for revenge towards someone who's held a position such as mine is strong, as they have confided in me, thinking that doctor-patient confidentiality protected them. Little did they know they were in the company of a monster..."

Pausing, Lucan changed the topic back to something more personable between them.

"Thank you," he said, meaning it, "for coming here, and letting me know that I'm forgiven in your eyes. It means a lot hearing it, after all the hate I've endured here."

In the end, he had to ask the obvious. "By the winds, you look different.... Have you thought about embracing your feminine nature?"

Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #6 –
[ Ens. Vinata Vojona  | Security Centre | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] ATTN: @Auctor Lucan
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Vinata’s pacing paused and his wide and bug-like eyes blinked several times - this was a nervous twitch of his that only manifested during times of anxious thought. The Ovri had processed much convincing within his own mind that the people he worked with and the organization he served as a whole, in its true form, were above such things. He had to believe that the Theurgy and its crew would protect the rights of Nicander, despite his most troubled and dark situation. Yes - he was infested but he was also still a being of sentience. Nicander’s own uncertainty on the matter was troubling and disconcerting for the Nurse though.

“You… You are most welcome Doctor.” Vinata faced the man now and gave him a slight bow of the head. “I will admit this was not easy for me to do but I felt it was the right thing.” He wished he could have made the decision on his own but Vinata had sought the help of Counselor Williams and it was in that session that his decision to visit Nicander had been settled.

“It is exhausting holding onto contempt for a person - it starts to consume you.. I am relieved to have this burden released. I am also pleased that it means so much to you.” Vinata could see how meaningful it was for the Doctor, his body language and vocal expression seemed most genuine. The empathetic side of Vinata could reason how lonely and isolated Nicander must be feeling.

The comment on his own appearance caught Vinata slightly off guard. The Ovri overtly blushed and his thin fingers brushed the outer edge of his Federation-issued skirt. “I hope it is a good different?” There was a hint of insecurity in his expression now. It had been quite the journey for Vinata to be here now - fully embracing the femininity that most humanoids he had encountered expected from him based on his inherent male-Ovri appearance.

“I have decided to embrace it… Although most of that choice was taken from me…” There was a lingering pause after the statement, Vinata’s consciousness seemed to transverse beyond the two of them for a moment - to a much darker, scarier place. This lasted only a moment though and Vinata returned from the awfulness that was the memories at the hands of the Savi.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “I am no longer considered biologically male…” It was the most cryptic way he could think to disclose what had happened to him. “I still consider myself a male. That is how I identify - I cannot see that changing… But I am fully female...” Vinata looked at Nicander again, seeming insecure and slightly unsure of what he had just formed into words. In truth - Vinata had not truly processed the complexities of what his transformation meant from a gender identity lens. This was not something he discussed during his counselling session - he had not even truly expressed things with Hylota before she had disembarked.

“I am even more confused than I was before being altered… I think this feels right though…” The Ovri wanted to tell Nicander everything - he wanted to open up to the man, he wanted to be held and have his friend once more to confide in despite all that had happened between them. He knew though that there were limitations to what he was allowed to discuss, in fact, Vinata was sure he had already disclosed more than was allowed too.

He could only hope Nicander could pick up on the undertones within his voice and description- the fact that he wanted to share more but could not...
Ens. Vinata Vojona - Head Nurse
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Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #7 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Aharon 
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Hearing Vinata's admission to what had befallen him on the Versant, Lucan could not even begin to imagine what the Ovri was feeling about his situation. Did he find it a blessing in disguise? Was to too overwhelming to even let him make up his mind about what he felt about it? Beyond the obvious biological differences, and how they went contrary to that of all Ovri anatomical norms, the psychological impact of the change was likely the largest factor for the nurse.

Thinking for a moment, Lucan wasn't even sure how he'd begin approaching the subject, knowing how Vinata was confused about his own nature even before the abduction? "I'm a doctor, not a counsellor," he said quietly, but not in a dismissive way, but a compassionate one. "I can but tell you what I've been told about the results of these Corrections, and apparently the Savi didn't leave anything to chance in these procedures. Apparently, you have naught to fear when it comes to the health of your body. That, however, wouldn't likely be your concern, would it? Of course, if that's the case, I recommend doing a examination just to make sure. I'd offer to do it myself, but..."

He chuckled and gestured towards his confines with his uninjured hand.

"Doctor Kobol  did come to check on my own health, coming inside the forcefield so that he might make the scans needed, but I don't think the Betazoid was very pleased with my company... nor I his, for that matter." Lucan chuckled a little and shook his head a bit at the memory. They did not mesh very well, he and his successor in sickbay. He realised, however, that he was straying from the topic at hand.

"As for how you feel about all of this, that's something you might need time to decide on," he said, feeling like he was stating the obvious, "I think, however, that regardless what you decide, it has to come from you. Like I told you last, you are not less of whom you are if you decide to embrace something new when it comes to your identity. By the winds, I can't even imagine how you feel like, but I do know that you'll still be the same person in my eyes, regardless if you ask that android in sickbay to restore you or not."

He hoped that was enough, for besides an examination, it was so very little he could help Vinata with in terms of the decision to stay as he was or revert to his original biology.

Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #8 –
[ Ens. Vinata Vojona  | Security Centre | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] ATTN: @Auctor Lucan
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Having just ranted about himself selfishly - Vinata felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him. Here he was in front of Lucan, who had been locked up - caged like an animal - his very being consumed by unimaginable darkness. Yet - the Ovri had somehow turned this around and made it all about him.

Yet… It needed to be said. Vinata could not open up to anyone else like this - not even the counselor.

He heard Lucan’s words and could see the internal dialogue - the man did have a fascinating intelect after all. It was one of the many qualities that Vinata had become enamored with in the time he had known the Doctor.

“No… You are right doctor… I do have confidence in the rigour and construction of this new body that was forced upon me.” Vinata looked down and gently rubbed his hand over the front of the skirt. “The technology utilized to make this happen was far superior to anything I have encountered before.”

“The android has offered to revert me back to my native way.” Vinata paused once more and looked at Lucan - the one person that could truly understand what this all meant to him. “I do not think I am going to accept that offer. I feel right. At least I think I do…” The nurse had long been at battle with his own identity since living a life among other humanoids - this was not unknown to either of them.

Lucan's words about Kobol , while a bit off track from their discussion had caused pause. Vinata was unsure of the man himself - he certainly did not have the same working relationship or friendship with him as he had with Lucan. Sickbay did not feel the same these days either. Vinata did not take as much pleasure from being there as he once had. Perhaps it was the change in superior - although the bitterness of events past may have had a play in that as well. "You are missed in Sickbay doctor..." Vinata said this softly - if only to help the once Chief Medical Officer feel like he still had a place, it was true though - at least in his own heart.

“It is comforting to know that I will still be the same person in your eyes.” The words Lucan provided did mean a lot to the Ovri. There was uncertainty in the long-term repercussions of the decision however - how would his own people react? Ovri culture as a whole was very accepting in both the realm of sexuality and gender. In fact - gender as a concept remained rather fluid. It was something that was rather polarizing in comparison to many other Federation species and cultures. Still - Vinata was unsure of how this would play out with his own kind - he could not recall at present if there were any other ones like him now.

“What I truly desire help with… I do not believe it is plausible at the moment…” The Ovri looked at Lucan hungrily, lustfully even. If anything - it was a brief return to his old self - the version of Vinata who had once been so promiscuous and open with crewmembers, most of which were dead now.

“I have not fully explored this new version of myself…”
Ens. Vinata Vojona - Head Nurse
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Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #9 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Aharon 
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When Vinata said that he was missed in sickbay, Lucan couldn't help but wonder how much truth there was to it.  Of course, the Ovri could just be speaking for himself, since the words didn't necessarily suggest a general consensus in that regard. That was likely the case, that the nurse alone missed him. It wasn't surprising that Vinata wasn't getting along as well as he had with Kobol  either, because what had developed between them was hardly following regulations.

While surprising that the Ovri had already decided to remain a biological female, despite having lived his entire life so far as Ovri were meant to be, Lucan wouldn't infer his own opinion on the matter. He had spoken the truth in how he'd neither judge nor question Vinata's choice in the matter, since it was entirely his to make. Who was he to say what the nurse wanted when it came to his body? Of course it was scientifically interesting that an Ovri might develop gender dysphoria when leaving their homeworld and being subjected to the influences of other species, but that didn't mean it was wrong. In fact, from what little Lucan had learned about the Ovri, and the suggested connection to Savi that he'd read in reports from the abductees on the Versant, he had to wonder if there had been some kind of evolutionary manipulation that caused the Ovri to become what they were. Had the Savi orchestrated it, and if so, why? Had they even been around long enough to beget this change in the Ovri genome?

If so, could that explain why it was so natural for Vinata to accept being a biological female?

Pure speculation on Lucan's part, and he left it unvoiced because any suggestion that the decision wasn't personal - but rooted in the Ovri's DNA - might just devalue this great personal dilemma for Vinata. At the off chance it might cause affront, Lucan wouldn't let his own guesswork insult the nurse.

In his ruminations, Lucan was a bit caught off guard when he noticed the manner in which the Ovri looked at him. It caused Lucan to chuckle, since it was indeed wishful thinking on the nurse's part that he might be able to help him explore his new body. He cleared his throat and rose from the bunkbed, all manner of thoughts and memories coming to him as he slowly walked up to the forcefield. 

"By the winds, I wish I could help you with that," he said in all honesty, yet with the shimmering field separating them. "You should rather find someone else, however, because of my nature, and not just because I am locked away like this."

Sighing, Lucan ran his tattooed hand through his hair. "Being isolated as I am, distrusted by most, you should know that you merely suggesting it means a lot to me. It gives me some hope in how this current situation of mine might be remedied... if they can just find a way to remove this thing inside me. It makes me feel more like the victim I am than the villain I am made out to be - this representative of evil that the crew wish to lay their hate upon. I had never expected to be approached in a manner like this again."

Hopefully Vinata would understand, but be that as it may, there were many things that stood in the way of what Vinata wanted from him. "You might exercise your mandate as nurse to come in here, but that," he continued and cleared his throat a bit with a small smile, "doesn't mean the surveillance units will be deactivated. Coming in here might be suicidal for your service record and your public image aboard. Not just in how I must keep the darkness from assuming control..."

In short, a bad idea, even if possible.
 

Re: Day 06 [1430 hrs.] Matters of The Heart

Reply #10 –
[ Ens. Vinata Vojona  | Security Centre | Deck 7 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] ATTN:  @Auctor Lucan
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Vinata’s thoughts had transversed the innocent and moved into a realm of fantasy. The image played out in his mind, of Lucan taking him - right there, without either having a care in the world. This caused a stirring down below, a feeling which was familiar to him - an arousal - but without the hardness of his former member having unsheathed itself from the confines of his body. In its place was a quivering desire… a wetness.

Despite the desire and furry of vulgar thoughts - there was enough reason within the Ovri to understand that what he wanted was not realistic. It simply was not an option for either of the two at the moment.

Vinata could tell by Lucan’s response that he was being so considerate of his feelings - he did not want to let him down hard, this approach was appreciated and meant a lot to him. This entire encounter had been an overwhelming array of emotional turmoil as is. Even if the intimacy between them was possible - it would have been best to wait and let some sort of normalcy return to the relationship, if only to save further complications with the Ovri’s current psyche.

There was room for things to grow though, once again - the seeds had been planted in this act of forgiveness. Vinata felt that there was a closure. His mind seemed to have an ease take over - thoughts no longer rushing off in several directions at once. A renewed focus. This in itself was enough for Vinata… for now. 

“Perhaps another time then Doctor…. When it is more appropriate…” The Ovri felt a closeness between the two, the sight glimmer of the forcefield between them didn’t seem to matter in that moment.

“Just… Take care of yourself… And please reach out if you need anything.” Vinata made a conscious effort to hide the disappointment in his eyes - as accepting as he had just been about their predicament, he still craved that next level of connection with his former Chief Medical Officer. The kind that would see him fully understand what this new body could bring him. He did not want this to show though, as he was confident that the two would share in this once more in the times ahead.

FIN



Ens. Vinata Vojona - Head Nurse
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