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Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

[ Zelosa Ejek | Personal Quarters ] @Absinthe @Auctor Lucan

Zelosa Ejek awoke this morning feeling unusually cheerful. She had a fantastic night's sleep, a large breakfast, a cup of her favorite coffee blend. To top it off, she was having a wonderful hair day. Not a single hair in her ponytail out of place. She realized that last night, she had projected her emotional journey and she had failed to follow that projection. Oh well. She attributed her good mood to equally good fortune and thought nothing more of it. There was nothing to think, after all.

Her duties would not begin for another hour or so. She sat in her room, her wonderfully heated room in her uniform pants and a tank top. She could show off her arms freely. Shame she couldn't elsewhere, too chilly. At her desk, she had what was left of her coffee. On her PADD, she was looking through possible styles she could use to further customize her quarters. She could go for more plant life this time around, but she never did enjoy how easily plants collected dust. Maybe if she went with lighter colors in the room...

Her peace was not meant to last, however. Soon she found her almost meditative brainstorming interrupted. The intercom, what an annoyance.
[Junior Lieutenant Zelosa Ejek. Captain Ives has requested to see you in his Ready Room.]

Ah, perhaps some personal time with the Captain. Though she was not personally interested, she felt that knowing her Captain a little better would help her decide what kind of ship this was, and whether or not she liked it here.
“I'm on my way.” She answered. So she finished her coffee off with one last, savoring sip and stood up from her desk to find the rest of her clothes. Once she was bundled and dressed, it off to see the wizard, she thought as she walked out the door, her ponytail swinging behind her.

Re: Day 03 [10:15 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #1 –
[ Captain Ives | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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Sitting with the puzzle box in his hand, Captain Ives sighed, unsure how to proceed the Omega Directive at that point. The ship couldn't go over Warp 3, but if the box was activated...

There was a chirp from the door, meaning that the next visitor arrived, one that Ives had requested personally because of the recent development that morning. It had not been an easy choice, but in the end, for sake of restoring confidence in the crew about what had happened, there simply hadn't been anything else to do. He just hoped that the visitor was up to the task.

"Enter," he said and rose from his chair, walking out from behind his desk. When the Cardassian woman entered, Jien couldn't help but think about what had happened on the bridge two days ago. The image of Aisha Sithi lying across the CONN station, Vector 01 turning over because of her weight on top of the helm controls, with a gaping, smoking hole in the back of her head. In the background, the Devoted shooter's voice, denouncing his claim on command of the Theurgy. Edena Rez on the deck plating, also shot, bleeding from the head. Sarresh Morali shouting in her face for Jona Rez to answer, to tell them the names of his contacts. And the last syllables passing through Edena's lips.

Elim Garak.

Blinking, Jien returned to the present, smiling faintly and gesturing towards the sitting area. "Thank you for coming on such short notice, there has been a recent development that you should be the first to hear about. You shan't worry though, you have done nothing wrong. Someone else did." They had already met, Zelosa Ejek having attended the senior staff meeting the day before, but they really hadn't had too much time to speak. "First, however, I want to know how you are settling in aboard. I can imagine it has been quite a transition to make for you and the rest of the Resolve crew, from spending three years lost to being falsely accused of treason the moment you finally reach Federation space."

Having said this, Jien sat with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of himself. His eyes never left Ejek's, for while he -as a shapeshifter - admired her permanent physical form, he would not let his oaken eyes stray in an unseemly way. Cardassians were a physically beautiful species, in his regard, but some of the Cardassian men with military background ruined it all with their posturing and oily manners. Jien hoped that the meeting with this Cardassian woman and Starfleet Officer would go a lot better than the meeting with Doctor Parnak the day before.

Re: Day 03 [10:15 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #2 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe  @Auctor Lucan
She chimed the door and an announced herself. “Zelosa Ejek, you rang for me, Captain.” She was smooth as synthetic silk. She felt like it too, just like her old self. She should probably question why, but didn't want to ruin her mood right now. She'd probably need it to bolster herself for whatever the Captain had in store.

Her wait was not long. She had no need to announce herself as she came in. She was the invited, her captain was the host, and Ives knew exactly who she was and what she did. She did not make herself a mystery. However, Ives seemed far less confident than she, even if only for a brief moment. His face showed concern. He looked as if he had very deep thoughts and did not yet want to rise out of them, so she seated herself and remained quiet until addressed.

Eventually, he did speak. It gave her a chance to finally figure out what sort of person Ives is. She crossed her legs, and enigmatic smile appeared on her face. She waited until he was seated again—and there he went, looking her over. So many people did that. She fought the urge to give him some sort of snippy comment about it and instead turned her thoughts again to getting a breast reduction.

“You say there is an important development and I should be the first to know.” She began, her voice breaking the silence and hopefully interrupting Ives's wandering eyes. “Moreover, the expression on your face seems pensive. It appears to me that the situation is far more important than how I am faring. Your compassion is duly noted, but unnecessary. We should get down to business.” She deflected. She understood he was her superior, but he was prying. She'll divulge when she was ready. For now, she folded her hands in her lap, waiting for his explanation.

Re: Day 03 [10:15 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #3 –
[ Captain Ives | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
[Show/Hide]
Hearing Zeloza Ejek's reply, Captain Ives became quite aware how different she was from Hayden O'Connor. He hadn't know what to expect from the Cardassian woman, but in a sense, hearing her pragmatic focus was rather reassuring. Having started out as a counselor himself, before his career turned towards diplomacy and command, Jien found it refreshing too, that there were successful rehabilitation officers out there that did not fit the archetype of Starfleet's counseling staff.

Pensive, he thought, realising that was likely accurate, in more ways than just dealing with the present situation. It was hard to tell if the three years on the Resolve had shaped Ejek's outlook and the way she approached matters outside counseling sessions, but Jien was not entirely sure their voyage was solely responsible. There was confidence in this young Cardassian that must have sprung from an early age... only being solidified in her recent experiences.

Either way, Ives smiled faintly and inclined his head. "While your well-being is directly related to the topic at hand, I agree," he said and looked at his own hands while he began to explain.

"Over the course of the past two weeks, give or take, there has been a development where a medical officer was allowed to continue her duties despite having revealed several alarming things to her counselor," said Jien, unfolding the scope of the situations grave nature. "Despite how she told her counselor that she had been subjected to assault and rape, in addition to revealing that she had begun to black-out in the middle of her duties, the counselor didn't relieve this officer from her duties, allowing her to continue without any restrictions and limitations. The officer in question would experience lapses in her memories, realising that she has preformed acts not her own in the middle of her duty shift. Repeatedly, the officer assured the counselor that she would be able to alleviate these issues through meditation alone, and that there was no need to inform the Chief Medical Officer about these occurrences and what happened to her. Unfortunately, the counselor put too much faith in her client's words, even though she should have been relieved of duty."

Looking back towards Ejek, Jien continued - his oaken eyes unblinking. "The medical officer inoculated three officers aboard this ship with a hallucinogen during their physicals - during some of these black-outs she claimed to experience. The result; one attempted rape; a bridge officer compromising our mission at the Black Opal, which both put the whole team that beamed down there at risk and locked out the rest of the bridge from the controls when a Romulan warbird threatened to the destroy the entire ship; and lastly, one dead Tactical CONN officer. The medical officer herself also sexually violated one of her patients, realising what she had done after the black-out, told the counselor, and was still allowed to continue her duties. Again, without the Chief Medical Officer being informed."

Though not finished yet, Jien recited the grave development without any greater emotional inflection, only the undertone suggesting the deep disapproval he held towards the conduct of the counselor. "I am sure you have already been briefed about the escape of Sonja Acreth during the battle at Starbase 84, and how - during her escape into a temporal breach - she killed over fifteen officers in the corridors of this ship. The one who let her out was the very same medical officer, again having one of these black-outs. It is unknown how the medical officer managed to accomplish this feat, but before she did it, she hid her escape from her duties in sickbay by striking down her superior officer. Fortunately, at least he survived the attack, but all of this was revealed during a hearing with the medical officer in the brig, and with subsequent hearings with the counselor, the latter admitted to having been aware of several of the things the medical officer had done."

Gossip travelled fast aboard an isolated ship like the Theurgy, and while Jien couldn't know how much Ejek had heard, she would learn the actions taken from Jien first. "Since there were security staff monitoring one of the hearings, who happened to take their non-disclosure oaths too lightly, the word of the magnitude of this error is spreading across all three Vectors like wildfire. With so many officers dead, and since it could be reasoned that the majority of the incidents could have been avoided, I am forced to take action, and try to preserve some of the Counseling Departments credibility. It is therefore my decision to demote the counselor in question, and let her successor take over her duties."

Jien fell silent there, and let Ejek realise who the counselor was, and the reason for the summons to his office.

Re: Day 03 [10:15 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #4 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe  @Auctor Lucan
What a story, she thought. What a freaking story. She had heard something, but not enough. Not this much detail. Of course she started to catch on to Ives's meaning almost right away, but she never stopped to interrupt. She was sitting back, calm as ever, looking as if she wasn't hanging on to every word. Her feeling of being under a microscope had passed, he was staring at her eyes, not the rest of her, and when she felt the urge she met them. She didn't talk, but she had her questions. The more he spoke, the more she wondered...

When he was finished, it did not feel quite right to begin speaking right away. She let a pause hang between them, purposely.
“Captain, I am to infer that you are promoting me and I am again Chief Counselor.” She spoke, as if thoughtfully, but she had already figured out what she wanted to say a while back.
“...I do have my concerns, however. How do you know that your crew will accept me as head of the Counseling Department. There are many who have been dedicated to the department for much longer than I, perhaps a small handful who are, by some miracle, more capable than I. How will you know that your crew will accept this decision? Especially after the attack on Vivian Martin yesterday, I am loathe to assume I will be accepted with open arms and no murder attempts.” She emphasized her point with raised eyebrows. She resettled in her seat, leaning forward, but only just a bit. Every movement made was purposeful, that is how she wanted to be seen.

“I understand that there is a chain of command to be followed, and that you are especially dedicated to following it given the absence of a true Federation. I can respect that. However, I want to be sure that you are making this decision in the interest of your ship, rather than in the interest of preserving tradition. I'd hope you don't take my hesitance as an accusation against you. Understand I just got here three days ago, and know nothing about you or this ship. I may not have much anymore, but I still stand to lose quite a bit if I'm made a target for any reason.

"In addition, if I choose an assistant chief counselor, they will likely also be from the Resolve. That is the only crew I've known for three years. I could be putting them at risk too." She thought that last point also important to mention. Naturally though, she already knew that she would accept this offer and was already coming up with some candidates. She knew of one in particular...

"I will accept the promotion on the condition that you can ensure this decision is made for the right reasons, and that there will not be any more assaults. Otherwise I cannot justify your reasons to the department, and will not try." She spoke as if she was calm and collected, but inside, she was excited. She didn't know why, she already knew what the details of the position would include, and it came with considerable risks. Something about being in charge though, that felt good.

Re: Day 03 [10:15 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #5 –
[ Captain Ives | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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Any number of possible thoughts could have come to Ives when he heard her answer, but the sad thing was that her trepidation about the situation aboard was quite merited. The concerns about her being made a target and attacked by the Devoted was a tragic but real possibility, and Jien took it quite seriously. First however, he addressed a concern that wasn't warranted.

"What kind of Captain would I be if I honoured archaic traditions to a fault, rather than looking after my crew and keeping us all focused on the mission?" he asked with a faint smile, not insulted by the preposterous notion but understanding that the counselor would - as she pointed out - not know him. "It just so happens that upholding the tenets of the Federation and Starfleet protocol is not just the right thing to do morally, in dark times as these, but the chain-of-command is also the best means to ensure that we can complete our mission. No starship - let alone one that can split into three - can be run at peak efficiency in a state of anarchy. It is through structure and order that a crew of almost one thousand officers all pull in the same direction."

Tilting his head slightly in the other direction, he offered the alternative and illustrated how the Reslolve's years could have been so different. "No commander is the same, and I am sure that Captain Kendrick did things differently. Yet we cannot pretend to be different leaders than we are, and success can be reached in different ways. Enduring three years at the mercy of uncharted space and the Romulan Civil War, Kendrick found a way to do it while easing up on protocol, and to his credit, he brought you back to Federation space. You returned, thinking that Starfleet was the same as when you left, and lived on the promise of deliverance."

Jien paused, and slowly tilted his head back a little. "Before the battle at Starbase 84, you never had to kill your brothers and sisters in Starfleet to survive. You did not have to serve, knowing that your friends and family might think you traitors, to carry on with the realisation that the public outcry might quench reason and judiciary process at your court martial. You didn't serve in the knowledge that Starfleet Command has made ignorant chess pieces of the rest of the fleet, and that you - perhaps alone - are out there and trying to make them all see the veil placed over their eyes. You did not serve in the knowledge that the truth of it all might die with your last breath, and there might not be anyone else out there that can prevent the galactic war - the death of billions of innocent people spread across Federation space and beyond."

Taking a slow breath, Jien raised his eyebrows a bit. "My point is not to illustrate the stakes, however, but that this mixed crew does not live and serve on the promise of deliverance in the same way that the crew of the Resolve did. There is no parade waiting for us if we see our mission through, but the unspoken hope that we might not have to spend our remaining years in a penal colony. We must serve in the knowledge that we are doing the right thing in opposing the corrupt orders of Starfleet Command, and doing the right thing is an abstract concept. It can only be solidified in routine, order and memory of what Starfleet used to be."

Having said this, hoping she would understand, Jien let her absorb it all while addressing the last points of her concerns. He shifted... into her female form, feeling that she had lingered in the other for too long - becoming too fixed. "The choice of your second-in-command is your prerogative," she said, her accent and inflection the same as before whereas her tone had become feminine, "and I see no point in it having to be someone from the original Theurgy crew. We have people from the Harbinger, the Orcus and the Black Opal aboard as well. You were already promoted to Junior Lieutenant when you came aboard, and we have no more higher ranked counselors. Yet looking at those available in your department, you might have to ask your chosen counselor to take the Ensign test. Just give me the name when its due time, and I will approve it. I would, however, like the test to be taken as early as today, so that you are not running the Department alone. No Chief Counselor could handle the demands of a crew this size solely on their own, and I say this from experience, since I started out in your field."

Having said this, the last issue remained. "While the attacks have become more infrequent with the declining number of Devoted still at large, no one can guarantee anyone's absolute safety on any starship. I do promise you, however, that the Chief of Security and I are - of course - doing our utmost to keep everyone aboard safe. We have offered security guard escort to the Senior Staff and their closest officer, and the same offer will be extended to you as well. There is naught more to be done about it, but with your efforts, the merging of the different crews will reduce the tensions that we experience now."

Pausing, Jien waited for the young woman to make up her mind. "I wish I could ease your concerns more, but I need you - Counselor Ejek - to keep my crew sane, lest we will never complete this mission."


Re: Day 03 [1015 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #6 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe   @Auctor Lucan
She was pleased to hear the Captain's answer to her question on traditions in the Federation. It resolved his dedication to the chain of command. Although she did not agree that Federation ships ran at peak efficiency, she could respect the answer he gave. Hard to argue with dedication like that.

Then he went into a description of the situation, and she found herself quite bored. Normally, a story on the lone man, betrayed by his government would be a fascinating read, but Ives seems to vastly underestimate Ejek's resilience.  At the very least, Ives was able to mix things up a bit by switching sexes. The Cardassian watched that with some interest.

She was quiet as Ives spoke on. She was putting on an air of disinterest, purposefully raising the question that she would not take the position. After all, she would look out for herself first and foremost. If the captain had to find another candidate, Ejek wouldn't care—but she really would. She liked to be in charge, regardless of the responsibilities. It was a flaw of hers. She just knew how to conceal it.

Finally, she got to hear what she wanted. The captain pleading. It was a stroke to her ego to hear it. She uncrossed her legs and took a deep breath, her words coming out as a sigh.
“I will accept then, if you need me so badly. But understand this, captain, the merging of any two groups does not result in peace by default, no matter the situation. If something is to happen to me, you have no right to be surprised.”

She put a finger to her mouth, as if she had some more thoughts in her head. She didn't, of course, nothing new at least.
“I would like to name my assistant. It is my opinion that she's been ready to take the Ensign test for quite a while, so I feel that she would be the best fir for the job. She is B'Nila Skai. Petty officer, first class.”

Re: Day 03 [10:15 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #7 –
[ Captain Ives | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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Jien wasn't sure if the Cardassian counselor was putting on an air of disinterest or if she was truly indifferent to the promotion. It might just be the posturing of her native people, but either way, Jien was going to give her the benefit of the doubt, and see if she was truly up to the challenge of upholding the Theurgy crew's overall morale, having command of the remaining rehabilitation and morale officers, along with the actual counselors still alive. Zelosa Ejek would see for herself what the demands were on a ship like the Theurgy. If she didn't have what it took, Jien would simply ask Cam to head the department - given her previous profession - only hoping that she had come to terms with what happened to her father. Jien made no comment, since there was no need.

"Very well, I will make sure you get the information you need to let B'Nila Skai take the test today. I will also ask Ensign Henshaw to compile an announcement of your promotion and add the minimum information needed concerning the demotion of your predecessor. The aim will be to prevent the repute of the Counseling Department from being undermined by her actions, and to make sure people have faith in your command of our counseling staff. I would like you to speak with Skai immediately after you leave, and I will have Henshaw hold off on the announcement until after you've informed me if she accept the offer of the Ensign test and the role as your assistant. If B'Nila Skai declines, your name will be announced alone for the time being."

Lastly, she offered the young Cardassian a faint smile. "Believe me, I know about the pitfalls ahead of you in your task, along with the integration of so many new officers. The Harbinger crew merged with the original Theurgy crew before the battle at Starbase 84, and it was the Harbinger's Chief Counselor who led your department then. Now, it is the Resolve's crew, with their former Chief Counselor in charge. Fortunately, Kendrick did not order his crew to be brainwashed into following his command, like Captain Vasser did, so I have hoped that this will - in fact - become an easier transition."

Since there was more to be done, Jien rose to her feet, smoothing her jacket over her waist. "You can speak with the Quartermaster about arranging for new quarters, and you will be given full access to the Chief Counselor's Office in Main Sickbay. Dismissed... and good luck."

Re: Day 03 [1015 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #8 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | CO Ready Room | Deck 01 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe @Auctor Lucan 

Ives had quite a bit of talk on the order of things. Henshaw announcing, B'nila getting her exam first, authenticity of her position, etc. It was very boring, but at least it wasn't empty. She may not like Starfleet's way of doing things, but at the very least she could count on them to carry out their bureaucracy matters. Ejek tells B'Nila tells Ejek tells Ives tells Henshaw tells everyone else, like a big game of telephone, except in uniform. She made a mental note to be sure everyone in this chain gets it right.

Then Ives sought to confirm that crew meshing will go well. Somehow, she didn't believe her, and she didn't want to. A healthy dose of skepticism a day keeps the gullible away, after all. She kept to herself about this though. If Ives was wrong, she had a feeling she'd own up. Maybe.

She rose as the Captain did. There was little to smooth out on Ejek's clothes, she kept herself as perfect as possible, even if that meant special washing instructions for the laundry.

For her parting words, she chose something that'd leave an impression, something with flair. Something personal too.
"Captain, luck is for people without skill." She smiled, light casting on her face and emphasizing her reptilian features as she did so. The entire effect was intentional. "I will let you know of Ms. Skai's decision when she makes it. Good day to you, Captain Ives."

"Computer. Locate petty officer B'Nila Skai." She neither asked nor demanded. That Thea was alive did not particularly matter to her, she was still a computer and this was still her task. It was almost a little cruel to make something living do such tedious, boring work. Kind of like the position she just accepted. She knows full well the level of paperwork her scaly ass just signed up for. Why did she do it then?!

"Because that is where I belong."What a stupid thought. Surely just an impulsive free radical in her head, meaningless in the grand scheme of things. She didn't belong anywhere. Every time she got settled in someplace, it all blew up in her face. Literally.

Regardless, she sighed and readjusted the tightness of her ponytail as she heard the computer's answer. It's too late to dwell now. Time to get this department back on track.
"Petty Officer B'Nila Skai is her office on Deck 9, Vector 02." Came the reply, and off she went without further delay.

[ Zelosa Ejek | Counseling office | Deck 9 | Vector 02 ]

Shortly after her meeting, she arrived in the counseling offices to find B'Nila. She hoped that she wasn't in the middle of a counseling session, she'd like to give her the news as soon as possible.

She liked the woman. She could trust good work would come out of her and that she wouldn't have to tell her twice to do something. Sure, she had problems, but at this point, who doesn't. She was expecting a positive result from this meeting. It's why she was almost excited to break the news.
"Miss Skai, do you have the time? It's Ejek. I'll only be a moment."

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #9 –
[ PO1 B'Nila Skai | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: FollowTomorrow
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Having finally wrapped up another session B'Nila leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. The amount of tension and strain on the ship was higher than most other places she knew she would normally be. Even on the Resolve things would often fall into a sort of routine, an amount of tension that became normal. SHe had learned to live at that level of high alert, but this place, this place was much more. And it seemed the eclectic group gathered here was perhaps more damaged than anywhere else she had found herself before. The result was she was under a heavier load as a counselor than before and it seemed that loud was not about to lighten any time soon.

At the sound of her door chime she was dragged from her rumminations back to the real world. She blinked and glanced to the chronograph on her desk, it was not nearly time for her next appointment. Was this a walk in? She did expect a certain amount of them and loathed the idea of turning anyone away.

"Sure, I have a few minutes, I'm not expecting another patient for until after lunch," B'Nila said as she gestured to the open chair in her office.

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #10 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe

The doors opened to reveal her visitor. Far from being a walk-in, it was Ejek, standing the doorway with a sort of smile like she's just dying to share a secret. She starts speaking the moment she walks in.
“Enjoying the workload?” She 'asked'. She knew counseling was overloaded, and that nobody was actually enjoying having to work their butts off. In any case, it was just words to fill the space as she claimed her seat and settled in. “I have some good news for you, in case you were feeling dragged down.”

“Turns out, the Theurgy's chief counselor made some frighteningly stupid decisions. I won't entertain you with the juicy details, but Counselor Hayden is no longer head of the department. Instead, I've taken her place.” Despite having been aloof earlier, she was nearly swelling with pride now. It wasn't the position she was happy about though, she just enjoyed bragging.

“But I didn't come here to tell you all about me, as much as I'd enjoy that. The good news is this; I'd like you to take the ensign exam and become my assistant chief counselor. I can think of no better candidate.” The way she spoke suggested that she wasn't expecting B'Nila to say no, or even have any hesitations. After all, this was a climb up the ladder. Who didn't appreciate that? “You'd have to take the exam as soon as possible to fill the role, of course, but it shouldn't be too difficult for a woman like you. I was also thinking about restructuring some of the appointment-making process to be more efficient and reduce surprise walk-ins...” She went on, having chosen a rather banal topic to switch to. Truth be told, she'd rather not hear 'no' from her, because she didn't have anyone else in mind. Nobody fit the bill quite as well.

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #11 –
[ PO1 B'Nila Skai | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: FollowTomorrow
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For a long moment B'Nila said nothing. It seemed to her a big opportunity, but at the same time... at the same time...

She had gotten used to her current position and had in many ways adapted to it. This would changed everything about that and in that moment she simply was not certain she needed another shake up. She could tell by the other woman's continued expression that her acceptance of the offer was a foregone conclusion and she knew it would be foolish to reject it. Yet she also hesitated. Something she had convinced herself was not like her at all. She worked hard to be decisive and to take what actions needed to be taken.

"Well, firstly it seems I should congratulate you on your promotion. I can't say to much about the former head of this department as I had very little contact with her, but I assume you will be able to do quite nicely as our new leader," B'Nila said in her most diplomatic tone. It was a tone that said she wasn't hiding any ill intent, but she was leaving a great deal left unsaid.

"As for my own promotion... I assume that given our current situation and lack of qualified individuals I will need to make up my mind quite soon," she went on. She did not want to give voice to her hesitation, some part of her knew she needed to keep her mask of professionalism up now, perhaps more than ever. In truth she knew that the choice was merely a formality. There was no one else for the job, at least no one as qualified as she was. "Which means that in fact I would be expected to take the exam as soon as possible to ensure a smooth transition."

She considered it all for a moment. She could rebel, but there was no time for such matters. She needed to do her ob and it seemed at this point her job was about to change, though how much was difficult to say. "I assume I will be able to keep the patients I am already seeing after this transition. As well I would like to continue to keep an open door policy. I know some dislike walk-ins, but given our current situation trauma doesn't happen on a schedule."

She took a breath. And focused her thoughts.

"When do I take the test?"

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #12 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe
She had sensed hesitation in B'Nila's pause. This is exactly why she kept speaking on. She knew this would happen, but there wasn't room to say no. She was simply the best she had. It was neccesary change.

Although her body posture did not change, she couldn't help but be supremely pleased at her congratulations. It was only natural the captain chose her, maybe even inevitable considering the previous chief, but she still enjoyed the attention.

 She smiled to hear her ask when she could take the exam. She knew she'd rather not have this thrust upon her, but, well, what could she do?
“You can take the exam as soon as today, and I would prefer that you do so. I will ensure you keep your patients, but be aware you will have more duties to attend to after your exam.” She went on. Although she knew there was still the possibility B'Nila could fail the exam, she didn't allow room for that outcome in her words. It was supposed to be a subtle way of indicating her confidence in B'Nila, a way of encouraging her.
“You may have to assign one or two of your patients to another counselor to allow for more time in your schedule. Of course, I do intend on offering the department some serious training, to bring the overall skill of our department up to more acceptable levels,” and by acceptable levels, she meant excellence, “so if you choose to let go of some patients, you can be assured they'll be in good hands.”

“As for the open door policy, I'd like for there to be counselors dedicated to walk-ins as well as counselors that work on appointments. The goal is to reduce conflicting appointments overall. Of course, this may be open to change depending on our department's skill layout, but I will not close our doors, rest assured.”

"Ah, but I ramble. I won't take up the rest of your day, I promise. Are there any other concerns you might have, before I gather myself up and let you be?"

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #13 –
[ PO1 B'Nila Skai | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: FollowTomorrow
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As the other woman spoke B'Nila only nodded. In her own mind she was more focused on the details of all of this, the changes that would come with it. She had a vague dread, but she could not allow her own fear of change to keep her from moving forward, even if this had never been her plan.

"I can't say I have any further questions at the moment. I will only need to know the time of my exam and perhaps some detail on any information I should brush up on in the meantime," she said when the other woman had reached a lull in her talking. B'Nila usually sat for a sort of grace, but in that moment she seemed more rigid than usual, as if she were carved out of stone more than a living breathing woman. Though her face was a perfect stoic mask of calm, her mind was far to a buzz with concerns and she needed to refocus herself. She knew she could not let this promotion weigh heavy on her mind, yet it also did nonetheless.

"I do not believe there will be much difficulty in this adjustment, however with O'Connor no longer able to tend to her patients, I think I may need to move some of my less critical patients to other counselors and take some of the load no longer being tended to," she intoned thoughtfully. "Of course in the end we will likely need to figure out a new treatment plan for all of O'Connor's patients, we don't know how bad the damage done to them was." B'Nila paused as she thought for a moment. "It does concern me, but I will do my best to take as much of the load as I am able."

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #14 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe
“I'd like to have you take the test before the day is over. Say...2000 hours? That ought to give you ample time to study beforehand.” She thought back to when she took her exam. She remembered thinking the whole thing was actually underwhelming, for all the hype about it. She tapped her finger to her cheek as she thought.
“You'll mostly want to study your protocols, code of conduct, guidelines, patient confidentiality, medical paperwork...Much of this you may already know. I don't expect you'll need to study much, but I would be happy to offer my help if you need it." She concluded, and looked B'Nila over again. She was still tense. Something wasn't being said, and she realized that this something that may surface as a problem down the road if it's not addressed now. If she brought it up though, she'd have to address the fact that B'Nila...might say no. And then what? Well, she'll just have to...figure something out, she guessed. She'd rather deal with not having her way now than an explosion later.

She paused to collect her thoughts. The cardassian had basically sprung this on B'Nila with no warning, no option to say no. Ejek felt...guilty, just a little bit. She didn't like that feeling. She didn't like the feeling of admitting she was doing wrong even more, but...here goes nothing.
“...You understand that if you feel you are incapable of taking on the job, you have every right to refuse, no matter what I say or what the ship needs right now.” Her voice softened. Perhaps B'Nila already knew from experience, like many of her Resolve crewmates did, that she was actually mushy inside. She detested that, and liked to think others saw her as cold and efficient. She convinced herself that the kindness was a show she put on during counseling, and that it would never surface during important moments, such as right now.
“I can tell you're uncomfortable. I won't ask you to share if you'd rather not, but we both know it's best to dispel your anxieties now.”

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #15 –
[ PO1 B'Nila Skai | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: FollowTomorrow
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For a moment B'Nila considered herself. It was not like her to hesitate, yet it seemed like much was changing in her life recently, even more than she had expected. When they had returned to Federation space it had been her plan to take a holiday and then submit herself for psychological review. She was near certain she was not at her peak anymore. Especially after all that had happened on the Resolve. She knew she was damaged more than usual, yet she knew that there was little option. She had to keep working. It was likely this same sort of situation that cause O'Connor to have the troubles she had. The thought of failure did cause B'Nila some degree of concern.

"It is not my capabilities I am worried about. It is the nature of the strain we find ourselves under. I know what prolonged exposure to this strain can do to a person. And I am not as mentally healthy as I once was, I believe our time on the Resolve has proven that," B'Nila said stoically. She did her best to keep her emotions in check, the private shame hidden under her mask of professionalism, yet she knew that Miss Ejek knew about it, everyone seemed to know about her damage, at least those who were on the Resolve knew. "I will do the job to the best of my abilities, but I do not know what I can do beyond that. There is no end to our troubles in sight. No station to aim our ship to, no future that seems bright. I fear out job as counselors is to hold the mental health of the crew together until our own falls to ruin."

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #16 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe

Perhaps if Ejek were younger, more brash, she would feel it appropriate to shame B'Nila for a display of weakness such as this. The Ejek of today knew so much more about others, about herself, that she understood what this was. This was a good sign, B'Nila allowing her strong facade to ease, if only for a moment. Her body language had not changed, her tone was as gentle as before.
“That concept, holding others up until we fall apart like weakened structural support, it's not quite correct B'Nila. Load-bearing structures stand alone, holding their share of the burden, which is often quite significant. Eventually, they will fall to ruin. If we were like a residence, we would fall apart eventually. The difference is that we are not structures. We are beings. We will bear our own share of the burden, and we will take on a little more if we must. We support one another.

“I do not want you to feel as if you are being made to work yourself to death on a hopeless ship, because you are not. You are not the main bearer of the ship's woes. That would be me.” She added, as she could not resist yet another reminder about her promotion. “You are not the only competent counselor on this ship, and although I applaud you for operating as if you are, you cannot continue to do so. After all, you of all people should know the dangers of isolating yourself.”

“In addition to taking the exam,” She continued, her voice firmed up and professional again. As if her tenderness had not actually happened, “I'd like for you to begin scheduling some time off for yourself. I will gladly take on whatever work you have. As for what you do with the time, that's not any of my business. Run a holo-simulation, go out with friends, spend an exciting night with a--caring--lover. As long as it is time dedicated to you, and not to work. Is this understood?”

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #17 –
[ PO1 B'Nila Skai | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: FollowTomorrow
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If she were being honest B'Nila would have to admit she did tend to treat it like she was the only counselor on the ship part of the time, desperately fighting an uphill battle to keep everyone sane while at the same time feeling herself lose what little sanity she felt she had remaining.

"You are, of course, right," B'Nila said with a defeated smile. "I guess I got used to the idea of finally getting home and being done with all the stress and now there is just more stress to deal with, and this whole huge doomsday conspiracy on top of it all." She did her best to keep the smile and though her tone was much brighter, she sounded very tired. Indeed she was very tired. She had been working double shifts and even hours into triple shifts. She hadn't allowed herself to really have office hours as of yet, instead she had been working when she was needed and taking on new patients as they appeared.

And of Course Miss Ejek was correct about the later half, though she wasn't so certain about needing a new lover. She didn't really wish herself on anyone. With that in mind she could not deny her need for some time off, of some sort. Even if it was just a few hours to lay in bed and try and get some sleep, if the lights were all turned off and she had her small steam machine cranked up, it would be like utter bliss compared to the way things had been recently. Maybe even a trip to the steam room that didn't involve consoling other people would be rewarding. But first she knew what she needed to do.

With a heavy sigh B'Nila leaned back in her chair. "Actually if it's not too much to ask, would you mind taking my next few patients? They might wish to reschedule instead, but right now I need a breath. Maybe some a quick nap would do me some good," B'Nila asked rubbing her golden eyes, just now realizing how tired she really was.

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #18 –
[ Zelosa Ejek | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] @Absinthe

She savored being right. It didn't matter if she was consoling someone or winning an argument, she loved being right and she was right often.

"I'll be happy to take your clients, if only because you're finally acknowledging me as a counselor as good as you." She teased, but with a smile. She had to do her best to reign herself in a little so she didn't seem like a self esteem-crushing monster. After all, B'Nila was the last person who needed to be deflated right now. Things would be so much easier if they were all Cardassians...

"Go, rest up. Your test is at 2000 hours, and if you fail it because you didn't have adequate rest time, I'd never live it down." She began to stand up and straighten her hair out. She allowed no strands to stick out, no wrinkles in her clothes.

"If I catch you trying to work from your quarters  I'll march down there myself and won't leave until I'm assured you have rested." She repositioned herself behind the desk, where B'Nila previously was.
"And B'Nila..." she raised an eyebrow ridge, just before she sat down.
"Don't be afraid to reach out for help. We're not all out to get you, you know."

Re: Day 03 [1100 hrs.] Shuffling the Deck

Reply #19 –
[ PO1 B'Nila Skai | Counselor's office | Deck 9 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: FollowTomorrow
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With a smile she couldn't hold all the way back B'Nila got to her feet, only pausing just long enough to hear that fina reassurance and say thanks. She couldn't help but feel things were starting to look up as she began to head to her quarters.

She wasn't really paying much attention to her surroundings as she made her way through the ship and to her quarters. There had been some issues in the past few days, but none of them had involved her in really anyway and she had no reason to think that she was really in any danger. If she had been paying any more attention she would have noticed the person stalking behind her. It wasn't until she reached the turbolift and hit the button to call it that she finally spotted the one following her.

She opened her mouth to speak as the doors of the lift hissed open behind her, but before she could say anything at all the fist hit her square in the nose knocking her backward and onto the carpeted floor of the lift, her gray blood splattering from her now quite broken nose onto the carpet and wall.

The fist belonged to a very angry looking Michal Silika. Michal gave B'Nila the look of a woman who was preparing to do something awful. "I told you before I don't like to be forgotten about, and you've been forgetting about me," Michal spat at the crumpled heap that was B'Nila.

B'Nila pushed herself up and opened her mouth to say something through the blood pouring from her nose. Michal cut her off by kicking her in the ribs hard enough that B'Nila was certain she heard at least one of them snap.

"I told you not to fuck with me, and you had to go and do it," Michal said as she yanked B'Nila up by her hair and pinned her against the back wall of the turbolift. "And now, I'm gonna fucking kill you. And no one is ever gonna find your fucking body."

Then with a great deal of force Michal slammed B'Nila's head into the turbolift wall and let her go. B'Nila fell to the floor once more and as the world went dark she watched the turbolift doors, her only escape route, close right in front of her.


=== In the Past ===

B’Nila could not help but shiver under the feeling as Michal kissed up her body. Moving over her mound and slowly to her navel, planting one kiss after the other, leaving the thin trail of saliva as she worked her way up. All the while Michal’s hands explored B’Nila’s body, touching, caressing, feeling, the remnants of the massage oils on Michals hands made her hands slide easily over B’Nila’s pale and smoth flesh. One kiss after the other, trailing their way up and up, Michal pausing to trail off and kiss each of B’Nila’s nipples before she continued climbing ever higher.

As her lover kissed and caressed her B’Nila could not help but moan and whimper, her hands held above her head by warm leather cuff that weren’t quite tight enough to dig in, just enough to hold her in place. Michal had always loved to have her lover held in place and something about being held still made B’Nila feel all the more vulnerable and the way Michal seemed to conquer her, to claim her. She could never refuse Michal.

Finally Michal reached B’Nila’s lips and they kissed, Michal running her tongue over the pale woman’s lips as if demanding entrance. B’Nila was not one to refuse. The kiss that followed was passionate, but lazy, it took it’s time. There was no rush, not right now. It felt almost as if they could both live in that moment, in that kiss, for the rest of their lives and nothing else would matter.

Finally Michal broke the kiss and looked down at her lover, smiling. “You are just so... beautiful,” Michal said in little more than a whisper. “I think...” She held her body close to B’Nila, so that B’Nila could feel the heat of Michal’s breath on her lips. “I think I am falling in love with you...”

For a moment the words seemed to hang in the air, spoken in that hushed, hot whisper, Michal holding B’Nila close, pinning her trembling body to the bed.

After the moment passed B’Nila at last spoke, her voice more breath than not. “I... I love you Michal,” she breathed softly, her vulnerability evident in just how small her voice sounded.

“Don’t ever leave me,” Michal said weakly as she laid her head down on B’Nila’s chest. “Don’t leave me behind. Don’t forget me.”

“I won’t,” B’Nila said softly, feeling so safe and so happy in that moment. She had never felt closer to anyone before. She wanted that moment to last forever.

“I won’t...”

~Fin
 
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