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Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

[CPO Eun Sae Ji | The Time Has Come | Old Friends | Surprise Visitations | Wellfare Check]
@Auctor Lucan




Ji had been busy, the kind of busy that made you bone tired, soul tired, and just plain exhausted in all the ways that a body could be.  Her mind, her body, her soul, were just done.  Normally, Ji was working on the deck til all hours, when she couldn't move any more, when she started making stupid mistakes was about when she would leave, head home with Liam, eat some food, take a nap, and head back.  It was ridiculously hectic and she was wearing herself too thin.  Tonight, she had decided she would actually take some time for herself.  She needed a mental and physical break before she lost her shit somewhere.  Dark circles swelled underneath her almond shaped eyes. 

Something had been nagging Eun Sae for a while.  Nicander and she had a bit of a connection.  Something between them, something almost romantic but she had gotten scared and busy and then things happened and... Liam.  She didn't regret Liam, not even at all, she loved him, and he reciprocated those emotions to her.  However, she had heard the rumors of Nicander, and how he was infested with one of the parasites.  She hadn't really thought about the parasite having used him to get to her, no, instead, she was more worried about him.  It seemed that because of the parasite, rumors had it, more of the ship was turning against him.  It wasn't something he could control and she seriously doubted that he had chosen to host one anyway. 

For a couple weeks now she had intended to go visit, but she hadn't been sure it was all right, and more than that, she hadn't had any time.  As soon as she sat down after work she tended to pass out where she was unless she and Liam were enjoying some time together but even then.. once the satisfactions were achieved they both passed out amid their bedsheets.  Today, Ji had determined she would only work as long as necessary, and that she would go visit Nicander.  A quick chat with someone in Security proved that she was more than welcome to visit but almost no one other than the interrogators had. 

That wouldn't do.  Nicander deserved better.

After her shift was over Ji had headed back to the shared Quarters of hers and Liam and taken a long shower.  She had opted for sonic since it was quicker and she didn't have to deal with damp hair.  Once she had done that she put on a pair of simple blue jeans and a white tank top.  Her muscles stood out as she headed through the corridors of the ship and the tattoo on her shoulder as well, the only one she had at this time.  She was not in a hurry to add any more ink, though she might at some point if she and Liam stayed serious long enough.  Right now though, she was a woman on a mission.

The Security checkpoint outside Nicander's cell was a console control unit with two security officers sitting behind it.  One was reading a pornography magazine on his PADD, flipping through page after page of scantily to unclad Aldean women in various degrees of exposure.  Ji was used to working with men and she had seen her fair share of flesh, porn, and what not on her own deck.  So she didn't actually care, but he could have found.. a closet or something.  The other looked up from some kind of crossword or .. word game that he was bent over trying to figure out.  Seeing Ji he stood up and nudged his counterpart who grunted before his glazed eyes looked up over his PADD to see the Assistant Chief of the Flight Deck standing there. 

“Oh!  Hello, Chief Petty Officer.” he said his cheeks dusting with pink as he put his PADD to sleep and put it on the desk.  Both men stood there waiting.  Ji was known for being strong and for being the kind of woman that didn't take any shit. 

“I'm here to see Nicander.” she stated calmly.

Porn-boy's eyes widened.  “Oh!  Hold on he hasn't had any regular visitors in like..”

“Ever.” Ensign Crosswords said.

Her brow rose.  “Well he does now, Lieutenant, Ensign, I would like to see him.”

They looked at each other.  “well there's no rule against it, just.. are you sure because you know.. he's .. infected.”  Porn-boy rubbed his swollen belly as if the parasite was living in his gut.

“I'm well aware of the situation, sir.  My request stands.”

“Look a pretty girl like you.. don't want to be seen with him.  You got a good reputation and you're coming up in the world a-”

“Let me stop you there, Lieutenant before I report to your superior.  I do not need you commenting on my reputation, my decisions, or really anything pertaining to me.  All I need is you to let me pass to visit my friend.” she stated crossing her arms over her chest and waiting. 

The Ensign pulled out a small PADD off a charging port near the console unit, he leaned over and scanned her biometrics allowing it to show that Eun Sae Ji was visiting.  “This will get you access to his cell.  But, only you, you have about two hours before your permissions are revoke or need to be renewed.  We will be checking from time to time, to make sure all is well.”  They checked over the small bag that she had brought with her, finding nothing amiss, they let her keep it.

Ji nodded and then she stepped past the other two.  She thought about some parting comment about how it was clear why porn was his only outlet, but decided better of it.  Heading over to the corridor she walked down the various cells.  Some empty, some taken, until she found him.  Standing there, she watched him for a moment, he seemed more haggard than before and uncared for.  But, she still felt her heart skip a beat as she saw him.  Remembering the times of their past, remembering the friendship that was only just starting, and thinking about how lonely he likely was here. 

Reaching up Ji brushed her thumb across the keypad and the force field created a window large enough for her to enter before closing behind her.  She had a small bag on her shoulder which she took off.  “So.” she began as though he had been expecting her.  “I brought you some new stuff to read, or make paper airplanes out of, or... I don't know.. take up the lost of of origami.”  Ji chuckled as she crossed to him unafraid and seemingly not even nervous.  She plopped right down beside him and began pulling out some Old-Earth periodicals, magazines, and what not about travel, planting, decorating, Korean life styles and so forth, and piled them up beside him.

“I know I know... Ji you're a breath of fresh air, it's been too long.... you're as beautiful as ever.” she chuckled giving him a playful nudge before she got serious.  “Hey.  How have you been holding up?”

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #1 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ  
[Show/Hide]
What had woken Lucan up was the faint noise of a conversation outside the holding cell, likely taking place at the distant Brig Officer station at the end of the line of holding cells. Frowning, he rubbed his eyes with his remaining tattooed hand, while using his artificial hand to push himself up in a seated position. His hair was in worse disarray than usual, he was merely wearing his uniform trousers when he slept, and his feet were bare. It felt like the pillow was still in his face as he stood up, and listened to the approaching steps of whomever had come to the Brig.

When the visitor appeared, Lucan could hardly credit his eyes. Chief Ji?

The human didn't pause, simply entering his cell with the authority she'd been given by the security officers - the force-field parting for her briefly and closing behind her again. Surprised at how she seemed not the least worried about him and what resided within him, she made comments about what she'd brought him, and jested about what he was supposed to say to her, and newly awake as he was, he felt like his wits were not entirely into gear yet. It might be early in the evening, but in a holding cell, one tended to off-set the hours of the day. He'd been up late last night doing whatever research he was privy to do on his PADDs, and he'd gone to sleep after lunch - unable to stay awake any longer.

He found himself having retraced his steps to the bunk and sat down to give her space, expecting that she'd want to stay away from him even though she was in the cell, and yet there she was, having sat down right next to him with her replicated reading - the gifts holding his pale grey eyes just for a moment before returning to her.

"I..." he said, and realised his mouth was dry from having slept, having to swallow before he could return the smile with a small one of his own. "I guess I am where I am supposed to be, and I've made the most of the time here, trying to help the Science Department with research about my condition, but I am unsure how credible they find the reports I send them. I get the impression that they'd rather make progress themselves than risk me misleading them, thinking as they are that I am still under the parasite's influence. It's a bit frustrating, I admit, but I'm not too surprised. At least they haven't cut me open and nailed my insides to the wall in search for the thing that dwell within me. I've told them that it's in a state of flux, of course - that it's not here enough to show on tricorders - and I guess they believe that much, at least."

He realised that he'd dodged the question somewhat, and he knew it was because he rather didn't want to talk about himself. Because yes, she was not just beautiful but surprisingly kind and understanding, and he'd rather talk about how she'd fared. It was a topic far more preferable than his condition, and even more so because when he'd come to her aid on the holodeck - before the battle at Starbase 84 - he had not been himself. He'd been almost entirely under the parasite's influence, which had been the catalyst for the development between them.

Therefore, being in her company, he felt a great amount of shame. He didn't know how much she'd been told about him, so he had to wonder, did she think that nothing that happened since that time held any merit, since it had begun with a lie? Or was she like Vinata Vojona, whom might be on the verge of forgiving him for it? He honestly didn't know what the Ovri thought of him at that point.

"Thank you, Ji... for coming to visit. I... am sorry for not telling you what I was, when you came to see me in sickbay, after Starbase 84," he said, taking a deep breath. He remembered how he'd even stolen a kiss, perpetuating his old behaviour so that she mightn't suspect something was different after he'd had his mind restored. "While I had reclaimed my body and mind fully, I wasn't sure what could happen to me if I revealed what I carried inside. I could control it, up until the moment I was shot by that Devoted in Sickbay, right when the Savi and the Asurians boarded the ship."

He didn't have to indicate the seam between his torso and the large portion of synth-flesh that marked how much of his side had been vapourised by that phaser beam. Bare-chested as he was, the area was right next to her. The artificial hand was just a consequence of the following fight with the crew that had happened to be in the CMO office. "The parasite kept me alive, reclaiming control until my wounds were fixed, and it wasn't needed to preserve my life. Healthy, I am myself again, so there is no cause to fear me. At least that is what I try to convince everyone, with limited results..."

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #2 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | I'm Sorry I Didn't Come Earlier | Fixing Shit Takes Time | I Missed You | It's Been Too Long]
@Auctor Lucan




She had caught him sleeping, and hadn't intended to wake him up.  The weariness in his gaze either spoke that he had been sleeping hard or that he had not been finished sleeping enough.  She almost felt bad for waking him up but she had such little time to her own devices lately she wanted to come visit him when she could.  She could tell that he was surprised, but, that was okay she knew that it had been a long time since sickbay.  And, when she thought about those moments, she could still remember the kiss that he had stolen.  It burned on her lips from time to time.  Though her heart belonged to Liam she would not forget the sheer sexual chemistry that filled the room when she was with Nicander.  However, she had been fearful of him.  Not because of the parasite, that was before she knew that was a thing, but because of the intensity.  She feared being one of his many consorts, and someone that would end up spurning her afterwards.  She had already walked that road with Sten and did not desire to walk it further with Nicander.  She might have read it wrong, but Ji had been wounded greatly by Sten and didn't want to go through all of that again.  She had been afraid.

Nic began to tell her that he was where he was supposed to be.  But, he was still trying to help the Science officers where he could concerning his condition.  He was unsure if they would believe anything he had to say, but at least he was trying.  Ji's hand reached over and lay on the skin of his forearm.  If him being shirtless made her uncomfortable at all, it didn't show.  She hid it pretty well and instead just allowed them to have their moments.  He told her that he felt frustrated but understood where they were coming from.  The parasite wasn't just there, they couldn't find it and pull it out, because it wasn't always with him. 

Ji nodded, pretending that she understood, but that kind of science was way above her paygrade, she was just a mechanic.  Truthfully a good one, a great one, but, she didn't understand all about other worlds, phases, and what not.  Ji looked at her hands while the lull in the conversation filled the room a moment but then he thanked her.  Her brows rose and she gave him a warm smile.

“Hey it's my fault really.  I keep meaning to come visit, but the fighter assault bay needed a lot of my help and I even got a promotion which is pretty nice.  Not the one I really wanted, they gave that to Herrold, but I get to be his assistant chief of deck so that's pretty good for a girl that doesn't do much more than fancy mechanics.” she chuckled a bit awkwardly.  He began to tell her that he was sorry for not telling her what he was when she was in Sickbay after the Starbase incident.  Her eyes shifted up to his.

“How would that have worked?  Hey.. so I know that stuff happened, but I have this cool tansphasic worm inside me that .. shows up when it wants to.” she smirked softly bumping his shoulder with hers trying to make him smile.  To be honest, when she first thought about the situation, she was upset.  She had been taken advantage of by Sten, and then kind of in a way by Nicander.  At least, she thought so but she was kind of afraid to ask if that was who had actually been on the holodeck.  But, she knew that she needed to talk to him about it so that she knew fully.

“Ahh the Asurians, yeah... I had a run in with them too.” she admitted giving a nod.  “Got a little hurt then... but.. but I lived.  Missed my favorite doctor though.” she smiled looking up at him.

“I don't fear you.” she promised him, and her voice was earnest in it's tone.  “I never have, I suppose that makes me stupid, but... “ she shrugged unsure of what other words to say.  “And I am thankful, you're still alive.  You're not a bad guy Nic.  You.. didn't ask for the parasite.”  But she turned slightly so she faced him a little bit more.  Her leg curled up slightly so her knee rested on the bed between them and her foot hung off the edge. 

“I wanted to ask though.  Its probably awkward but... that day on the holodeck... when you helped me with my sprain and.. we .. you know..” she rubbed the back of her head nervously.  “Was that .. was that you?  Like.. I mean I wonder sometimes because you're a doctor and I'm just a mechanic and it couldn't have.. been that you .. I mean.. I don't know what I'm actually asking except.. w.. was it you that day?”

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #3 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
Her touch, it was something that was just as unexpected as welcome. He led days without any kind of physical touch, so feeling her fingers against his unhurt, organic arm was a surprise, but he made no motion - afraid that he might scare her.

Ji jested, of course, about that time when he ought to have said anything, and of course she was right. It just seemed so wrong of him to perpetuate the lies his darker self had told, just for the sake of remaining hidden right in their midst. Of course he'd had noble intentions doing so, believing he served the crew best outside the holding cell, and he might just be right about it, but in the company of the innocent who had believed him to be the immaculate Doctor of Câroon heritage? Perhaps they'd found him exotic and others too much to bear, knowing how his manners were intense and not within the norms of Humans. His people were a species of extremes in the way survival was forced upon them by their planet.

By the winds, has she no fear of me? he thought when she made comment of her injury at the behest of the Asurians and the Savi, saying that he was her favourite Doctor. He had to smile at that, and while he had no idea who Herrold was, he was glad that she was doing well in her duties in that fighter bay on the ship. The name tugged at his memory... something about how the Chief CONN Officer - Derik Veradin - had served with him on the Resolve.

Ji turned to face him fully on the bunk, and said it outright; that she wasn't scared of him. "I never have, I suppose that makes me stupid, but... And I am thankful, you're still alive.  You're not a bad guy Nic.  You.. didn't ask for the parasite."

This caused him to smile bitterly. Wasn't that the truth? If only others might see it. They might hate him for putting the mission first, and thus endangering the crew by walking in their midst. How could he have foreseen that a lethal injury would cause the parasite to take over fully? He'd been in full control, and he'd been making progress with the research into the transphasic light. Everything that happened after that had been outside his control. He'd even sought redemption by offering his life to detonate the Omega Device and stop the Borg invasion. They hadn't trusted him to do it, and here he was, having to suffer their ignorant fears - every day being one where he'd have to convince them he meant them no harm.

"No I didn't," he merely said. He looked down with his pale grey eyes, unable to make comment to what she was saying. Too many regrets welled in his mind to articulate them well enough.

Then, it came, the portentous question that remained between them. He should have expected it. How was he supposed to have thought she'd figured it out already from the reports about him. Perhaps none of his innocence or past acts were revealed to the crew, and he remained an unforgivable enemy in their eyes. Perhaps just enough had leaked out to make Ji come there and ask the question herself. He looked up, and slowly shifted his seat a little bit so that he faced her more directly as well.

"The blackness," he said quietly, looking into her brown eyes as he told her the truth, for how could he not? "It is the nexus of this crisis we face, an interstellar, gaping maw of atrophy, and unchecked, it will consume everything. This nameless darkness is an existence of primordial chaos, without order or thought. To it, you, me and everyone else are just skin-puppets. Flesh it wears. When I was fully infested, I gave the blackness shape, voice and intent, a vestige of order, making it reshape what it saw into what it wanted to consume. Like a law of nature. The presence inside me, it used me to provide structure to its hunger, lending forethought to raw need."

Of course he couldn't stop there, even if it might suggest the answer. "Four years... that's how long I was hiding the madness inside, funnelling its intentions towards carefully laid plans, making me think it was in my own interest to aid the darkness - giving it structured thought. Whatever doubts I had were inconsequential." He raised his artificial hand and closed it - the servos whirring by the motion. "Like sand escaping a fist no matter how hard you tried to hold on to it. And now, being myself, my experience make me doubt my own actions, in lingering suspicion they are not of my own intent, even if they are."

He took a deep breath, and look down. "Heather MacMillan - the Radiant we have aboard - made a schism between me and the darkness at Starbase 84, reduced it to a mere whisper. I could act without inflection from the darkness. But when I was with you... I was more demon than doctor. I acted on the needs of the parasite."

Lucan looked up again, a bittersweet smile coming to him. "For I am a doctor, and I would not take advantage of a patient in the manner I did with you. You are beautiful, strong, and you can make anyone smile, and had we met under other circumstances... I... wouldn't have let what we had begin with a lie. If I could undo it, I would, just to make you smile again, and be with me like you were..."

He reached out with his tatttoed hand, and laid it on her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin and hair as he looked into her eyes. "By the winds, Ji, I am so sorry..." His pale grey eyes fell to her lips, knowing he couldn't taste her again, and that she'd likely run out of his cell. "I should not have kissed you in sickbay either, but I thought that if I didn't... you'd suspect something was wrong with me."

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #4 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Old Friends | Complicated Situations | Mixed Emotions | Never Had a Real Chance]
@Auctor Lucan




She was glad, that he knew he hadn't had a choice.  She had a feeling that many people had started to think less of him merely because he was the sort that had been infected.  She had a feeling that many believed he must have done something, that he had put himself in a situation he couldn't get out of, that he had made himself vulnerable.  But, if anyone knew Nicander's true self, they would know that wasn't the case.  He had always been kind to her, and she was just a mechanic.  As much as she wished that equality went throughout the ship, it didn't.  There were times that because of her rank, or lack of being an officer, or the fact that she was always in yellow and covered in grease patches that she was somehow less.  But, those were the people that counted on the fighter assault bay when they needed to take an enemy down, those were the ones that needed those fighters out there to assess and hold off the threat.  So she understood people looking down on you for reasons you couldn't control or for reasons that weren't actually valid.

When she asked him the question that had been bugging her for some time, she could tell he had expected it but .. not.  She had a feeling he hadn't wanted her to ask but Ji might be a mechanic .. she was also very smart.  Ji was almost afraid of the answer because of Sten. Of all that he had done to her, and all that had happened before his death.  She had probably been one of the few people on the ship that was not sad to see him go.  She had never, and would never, wish for the death of anyone.  However, she was glad he was no longer on board to terrorize her.

He began to speak about the darkness.  How the parasites wore the skin of others as if it was only a husk, a shell, and something to utilize to do their bidding.  Ji listened as he turned towards her and explained that he was not, indeed, himself that day.  He would not have taken advantage of her in that regard if it were the case, and he would not have kissed her in Sickbay again, too.  Swallowing heavily, she looked down, only to find his warm hand on her cheek brushing his thumb across.  Looking up with those big brown eyes of hers that filled with liquid and yet she didn't cry.  She bit her lower lip softly.  He told her that she was strong and beautiful and always made people smile.  Earning a slight smile of her own.

He assured her that MacMillan had made a schism between himself at the parasite so that it could no longer control him but... back then.. it had.  Ji nodded, and she looked up into his eyes.  “I had a feeling.. because you're a doctor and I'm just a mechanic.  Back when.. it happened I thought.. there's no way he wants me.. As me.  Like.. I can't be your type or anything like that.  You have so many girls that would be so much better suited for you.” she admitted.

“But then, in Sickbay, when you checked my ankle and then, when you kissed me I thought .. maybe.”  she gave a small shrug and reached up to put her hand ontop of his clenched false fist.  Loosening the metallic joints inside so that he would relax it a little bit.  He apologized for making her feel like that, and she sighed softly.

“I must be weak.” she said dropping her hand off of his and letting it fall to her lap.  “First Sten.. and then he fucking sends me to another ship, and then brings me back and sleeps with me again, and then fucking..” she quieted herself. “And then .. you.  I think I thought I was strong but I think I'm just.. weak.  Maybe I'm not as strong as you thought.” she admitted with a sigh.  “Part of me wants to be really mad at you, and part of me understands you weren't in control, and if I was going to be mad at you for something that you can't even control I'd be a really shit person.” Ji admitted to him looking back up at him with her large brown eyes studying his own.

“Thank you for being honest with me Nic.  And not trying to lie.  Most people would have, but I'm tired of lies.” she admitted.  “I think, maybe, I just need to be stronger.”

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #5 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
While he merely got the gist of what had happened to her, with her transfer to the Harbinger at Theta Eridani IV and her return - the emotional abuse of the late Chief of the Deck - Lucan did understand how his darker manifestation caused more harm than he'd thought. Not only by violating the ethics of his position, but leading her to think there was more attachment to her than the parasite had actually felt.

"I cannot fully speak for what the darkness saw or sought at the time, merely remembering it as an opportunity it found and took - manipulating someone susceptible. Like I said, likely it was mere raw need that prompted it to act when you were hurt, intoxicated and vulnerable. Whatever compelled my infested self to do what it did with you," said Lucan quietly and smiled a little when his pale grey stare looked into her brown eyes, "there might still be truth in how it selected you based on my own preferences. The Host's mind does guide and lend control to the chaos that resides inside them - funnelling it in a way unique to each body it infests. The blackness... it is insidious in that way, how it can possess and use the host in all its capacities, ranging from the personality to its skills. By the winds, I guess what I am trying to say is..."

Lucan took a breath and tilted his head a bit, finding how his tattoed hand had slid down the side of her head to her neck - feeling the warmth of her skin against his hand. It reminded him so of what they had done together, even if it was all seen through a dark shroud over his eyes. His pale gaze wandered over her, from her lips to the way her breathing made her chest rise and fall. The way she bit her lip and looked at him.

"...I think it was because of your strength that my infested self picked you, so you needn't be stronger. You need just have faith in your strength, and know that regardless what choices have been made in your regard - out of their own volition or not - it does not reflect negatively upon your own merits as a woman and officer. If we are to be measured by the ill intents of others, wherein are the means to be whom we are?"

Having said this, knowing that whatever he might say, it might be hard to accept, Lucan decided that he wanted to encourage her more directly. He wanted to show her that he meant what he said; that she was not just a random woman to him. Of course, he had strong bonds with others before his true nature was revealed, but regardless the circumstances in which he found himself before and right then, Ji deserved better than to just think he never had any interest in her. Whatever ethics had been violated at times, his medical profession forbidding him to do the things he'd done... he was now a mere prisoner. With neither higher obligations nor a position which begged for his restraint. He might still have his rank, yet without any duties or obligations to his name.

"Close your eyes for a moment," he said in his deep voice, smiling to her, and once she did, he slowly leaned forward...

...and kissed her. Chastely at first, but then more deeply, for he wanted her know that whatever had started things off between them didn't have to be an ending as well. If she lingered, he would even pull her closer, to let her get the warmth that she had deserved from the beginning.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #6 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Unexpected | Old Emotions | New Charges | Uncontrollable Oasis]
@Auctor Lucan





Susceptible.

It was a word that struck her deeply and heavily.  She didn't like that being used against her, she had wanted to think she was strong.  Internally, she believed herself to be strong and yet here she was being called susceptible.  Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat she looked up at him.  She had been hurt, intoxicated, and vulnerable.  Again, the latter of those words struck against her very core.  She sought so hard to be strong and she always felt that she was but when it came to matters of the heart, when it came to matters of her emotions she was soft and gullible.  He looked into her eyes and she chewed on the corner of her lower lip for a moment.  He said there might be truth in how his own preferences had helped to pick the person of his desire that day, but the word might was pretty heavy again.  She supposed that Nicander and their little tryst in the holodeck had been haunting her more than she liked to admit.

He looked at her now, and tilted his head, reaching up his hand slid down the side of her cheek towards her neck feeling her skin there.  Her own hand slipped up to lay on top of his before sliding up his arm to his shoulder and finding the warmth of his own neck.  She wasn't afraid of the parasite, she was more afraid of the fact, that she had been picked because she was something easily done.

Nicander said he believed it was because of her strength that she had been picked to begin with.  That she didn't need to be stronger but only have faith in the strength that she did have.  Swallowing again, her eyes bore into his looking for any of the answers that they held.  It wasn't that it reflected poorly on her, and not to measure herself by anyone else's standards but her own.  She smiled softly.

“Your words are kind and a salve to the soul.” she stated softly.

He told her to close her eyes for a moment.  She took a moment, of thinking about whether she wanted to do that, what was his end game, maybe he had abilities that she had not known of before this.  But, it was hard to tell as she had not really had a chance to sit down and talk with Lucan before.  Her eyes closed, never in her wildest dreams did she think he was going to come in for a kiss, she figured that he had something to show her, something to do for her, some way to connect with her.  What happened next caused her to freeze, almost.

His lips met hers, chaste at first, just a little peck.  Only, it didn't stay that way for long.  He deepened the kiss and she slid forward allowing him to be a little closer, and be a little deeper with his kiss.  Ji found her lips moving almost of their own accord.  Kissing him back, and her hand sliding up into his hair clenching there slightly.  His arm slid around her and pulled her even closer to him.  She knew it was wrong, she knew she shouldn't be doing this, but there was something.. something so wild and untamed about Nicander.  Something unfinished about all that they had done before and dropped so suddenly with all the drama surrounding his existence and the parasite that had latched itself onto his body.

Ji slipped her tongue into his mouth, allowing the kiss to ultimately deepen.  Feeling his body against hers, she put herself into his lap straddling it slightly to be as close as possible to him.  The kiss went from chaste, to deep, to full on passion as she did that.  She could hear his breathing and her own, the loud exhaling and inhaling as they worked to keep their lips together as long as possible before they began to break the kiss.  Gulping for air, she looked into his eyes, shocked by what she had done, and yet.. and yet she couldn't move away.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #7 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
Bereft of physical contact for so long, Lucan leaned into the kiss with Eun Sae Ji as if she was the wind of life.

Ji's passionate response prompted his own, and as if something gave in, it didn't take long before the Human straddled his lap on the bunk - all sense of propriety and location lost on them both. It was as if there was no end to the need which compelled them to continue, until the lack of air eventually pulled them apart - staring into each other's eyes in the wake of what had just happened. By that time, Lucan's hair was even more unkempt by the way in which Ji had pulled him close, and her white tank top had come somewhat askew in the their wordless exchange of lips and straying hands. Currently, his tattooed hand had spanned her slim waist and rested at the small of her back, and he could even feel the rhythm of her elevated heartbeat through her skin, just as he imagined she could feel his own through the planes of his chest.

Already, it felt like things had got entirely out of hand, Lucan not having expected the sudden fervour that ignited between them. Impossibly, he'd been able to moderate himself, lost to the winds of passion that had brought them together. Disoriented, he could but seek some manner of balance, and he held on to the only thing that might anchor him. Carefully, so that he mightn't hurt her with it, he put his artificial hand behind her neck and slanted his lips across hers anew, this time without the initial modesty. He might still feel the coiling and writhing darkness inside him, how it responded to the development, but he pushed it from his thoughts. This was not something the parasite had dictated, and he would not let it control what happened next. The carnal response to Ji was entirely his own, he firmly believed, unfortunate as their circumstances were in terms of privacy.

His chest rising and falling, his hands taking a modicum of liberties in revelling her body, Lucan soon parted from her just enough to speak, and to lay kisses against her neck. "I... think they are obligated to record visits," he managed, knowing that they had spectators in the form of the Brig Officers further down the area outside the holding cell. "By the winds, I wish they weren't."

Unless they were preoccupied with other things and shirked their duties, their audience might have their opinions on what was happening, and Lucan didn't know if they had any further instructions when it came to his visitors. Were they supposed to intervene in protection of Ji, or were there no orders set for the unlikely development that had just happened? For what had the odds been that a visitor might get so close to an Infested?

"We should stop this," he said, voice thick, and yet his mismatched hands were taking further liberties, all the while his lips roamed her neck and throat.

Needless to say, his desire for her was genuine even then, when there was no parasite to take advantage of her - only his own feelings towards her.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #8 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Not as Planned | Unexpected Actions | Consequences of a Soft Heart | No Exhibitions]
@Auctor Lucan




Ji had not expected the kind of fervor that came with their lips meeting.  Honestly, she had figured that it would end with some kind of heated kiss, or a quick peck, some kind of feeling each other out.  Something along those lines.  However, the way that he leaned into the kiss, the way his lips almost drank her in.  She had never felt quite like that and the kiss was unlike anything she had ever felt or known before.  This moment was something that surprised her more than just the kiss but the fact that he was so expressive about it.  Ji had never really expected that she was all that beautiful or eye-catching.  She supposed that she never really saw herself in that kind of light.  She just figured that she was decent enough and she had the smarts to back up what she lacked in her looks.  However, Sten hadn't minded them, Liam hadn't minded them, and neither apparently did Nicander or his parasite.  She really hoped that he was being honest, that the fact that she had been chosen because of an already developing attraction that had been there from the beginning.

However, she also hoped that it was true what was said, that his parasite no longer controlled him.

Once she had put herself into his lap she knew that she was lost to all rational thinking.  No idea what was coming over her, she was in a relationship, and a good one, and yet there was something striking about Lucan that called to her.  From her gut, to her heart, and her very pulse beat more heavily when they were in a room together.  She still remembered the tension when they were in sickbay and he had kissed her, she remembered the way that he had taken her in the stream on the holodeck, but there was something about that simple moment in the Sickbay that stood out more so.  She hated to think about the parasite and she was so afraid that it was the parasite now, and while her mind told her to run as far as possible; she couldn't get her body to listen.

Lucan broke the kiss and they both breathed heavily the air from their lungs mingling softly against one another.  She bit into her lower lip trying to stop herself from attacking him first finding herself glad that being in his lap had grounded her in a way.  His biological hand was on her waist moving up over the toned side and the muscles that resided underneath the olive skin.  Then his other hand, the metallic, was cool for only the moment as it touched the back of her neck underneath her short hair before it was warm as well.  Her eyes shifted up to him, and she almost wanted to plead to him not to make this fake, not to let this be the parasite, and then the fear that .. she was ruining everything she had built.

He guided her closer and his lips and hers again met.  The passion ignited once more, but it seemed almost more purposeful now than it had before.  She closed her eyes, feeling her lashes laying against her cheeks for the moment as his lips kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring the cavernous expanses of her mouth, as well as his hands brushing over her skin and making her nearly tremble in his grasp.  There was something so hot about being wanted in such a passionate way that she felt herself wanting everything she could get.

He began to kiss her neck, Ji's hands were in his hair clenching heavily and tugging slightly just to keep up the tension.  One of her hands slid out of his hair and down the front of his chest enjoying the bare skin there afterall he had never put on a shirt.  Now she was quite glad he had opted for that.  He began to speak, and Ji was trying desperately to keep up with each of the words out of his mouth because she knew that they were probably important.  There was something about recording visits and how he wished that they weren't. 

For a moment, Ji tensed, and she looked down at him, trying to put it all together, before she realized suddenly, exactly where they were.  Only he wasn't done he was still on her neck, still exploring her body, still moaning and yet reminding her that they should stop.  She bit her lower lip as she pulled him off of her neck for a moment to look into his lovely eyes, her thumb brushed softly against his cheek bone just staring into his eyes both of them breathing heavily, chests pushing into one anothers. 

“You're right.” she whispered, not because she wanted to be quiet but because she couldn't quite catch her breath.  “But, I'm not.. ready to stop, just yet.”

She admitted to him as she leaned in, brushing her nose against his and then brushing her lips just barely against his own before ducking down.  She began to lick and suck and kiss on his neck, to get him back for all the attention to her own.  Her hands, traveled over his muscles, and enjoyed the feeling of his body and hers against one another.  She wasn't ready to stop, she didn't want to go all the way but stopping now was like taking a cold shower and she was far too gone to do that just yet. 

Just a little longer, she promised herself.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #9 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
It seemed like Ji was just as unable to stop as Lucan was, despite the circumstances, and whatever caution he'd called for was forgotten when she repaid him for the attention he'd given her neck.

The human was running her hands over his bare skin, and she incited a response he couldn't suppress even if he had the mind for it. Undoubtedly she could feel how he rose to the occasion, given how she was straddling his lap there on the edge of the holding cell's bunk. Nor could he stop himself from further reacquainting himself with her body, which he'd merely got to enjoy as a spectator before - his darker self having exploited her fully back then. Now, clearly so given the situation and her awareness of his nature, there was naught but consent between them. Oh, he wished nothing rather than to unbuckle his belt, to forget the surveillance units in the cell, and push her down unto himself, but even such madness of passion had to have boundaries... when chaos no longer dictated his will.

As it were, he dared merely slide his tattooed hand up her tank top, in reverence of her body. The thing coiling inside him wished to push further, to claim her right then and there - stirring to the development. It was like a second will mirroring his own, and both sought to push the envelope. Twain winds of desire, one wholesome and the other a demon, willed him to hike her top further upwards, so that he might apply his kisses to her bared chest. More so, they made him want to tear the cloth that separated their loins, and remove whatever restriction presided between their mutual wishes.

Breathlessly, he found himself unsure what was reality and not. Had he already done it?

Momentary panic made him open his eyes, and he was reassured that while he might be fondling her, he had not ripped her clothing. It had been the thing inside, fuelling his imagination, and giving him impressions of what they both needed. He had to stop, lest he'd not be able to control himself - influenced or not. Yet how might he end what she wanted as well? Surely it was in her interest that he didn't push her away? Or was this what the demon whispered in his ear?

As if they were dancing, Lucan had reclaimed the initiative at that point, leading the pagan rhythm of what they were doing. In the greed of kissing her anew, and tasting her once more... he found how his tattooed hand had left Ji's chest. As if with a will of its own, it had slid down her flat abdomen and behind the waistline of her shorts and Starfleet underwear. No, stop it! he thought, but it was as if he had an outer body experience - unable to prevent his fingers from reaching the bare apex of her legs. Whatever sounds she might make would have been muffled by his lips, at least initially. By the winds, stop it!

Then again, it might just be what Ji wanted, right? Another seed of doubt, planted by the darkness inside, or the truth? Lucan had no way of knowing. All he knew was that he couldn't quite bring himself to stop just yet.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #10 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Too Far | Not Far Enough | Familiar Feelings | When to Say Stop]
@Auctor Lucan




He felt good, and she could tell that he was getting excited.  She remembered, all too well, just how large and long he was from their previous tryst.  She had not expected it that day, just like she had not expected it now.  This wasn't what she had come for, she had come to visit, to talk, and to make sure that he was doing all right.  This was the last thing she could have imagined would happen when she came in here, but now here she was fully lost in the amazing feelings that were bubbling up from inside.  His hands were sliding all over her body, the taut muscles, the olive skin tone, and the woman that was covered in work-earned scars here and there was quite enjoying him learning all her swells and dips.

Part of her wondered if they should just stop caring about who saw what, the two pervos at the front desk probably weren't even paying attention. Problem was, the footage was likely recorded somewhere on the ship and could be accessed and played back if it was necessary.  More so than that, was the fact that, she didn't really like the idea of anyone watching.  It creeped her out, Ji liked keeping her body and her activities private.  Ji wished they were just about anywhere else at the moment, but they weren't, and Ji knew in the back of her mind she couldn't go much further.

His hand slid further up her tank top and over her body, slipping underneath the elastic band that kept her bra in place.  As he touched the tender flesh of her breasts he would hear the gasp that escaped her lips before she looked up at him.  His eyes snapped open and raked her body, for whatever reason, she didn't know but he seemed both relieved and turned on at the same time.  She didn't brush his hand away, she should, she knew, but she didn't.  She allowed him to play and she allowed him to explore her chest in the most tactile of ways. 

He began to kiss her again, and Ji found her lips too quickly to respond and enjoying the way that they pressed against one another.  Tongues explored the cavernous expanses of their mouths and the way their bodies pressed against one another.  She felt good in his hands, in his arms, and right now there were very little other thoughts in her mind.  His hand slid down her side and into the waistband of the comfortable jeans that she was wearing.  She was thin enough there was plenty of room to get his fingers in and as he pushed his hand deeper and past the wrist, the button in the front popped open to give him a little bit more room all together. 

Suddenly, he hit her sweet spot with his finger, and she gasped softly in between kisses.  He kept kissing her, likely to keep muffling the moans that were now coming from her lungs.  She was pressing herself against him more and more, her hips rocking back and forth to grind her pleasure zone against his eager finger.  Her muffled moans brushed against and vibrated against his lips while they enjoyed themselves, Ji broke the kiss, and closed her eyes biting into her lower lip heavily to help silence herself.  She wanted more, so much more, she didn't just want his finger, she wanted more than that.

“I wish we were alone.  Why can't we be alone.” she whimpered curling herself into him, her breath rushing against his neck as her hips continued to move back and forth with the calling of his finger.  She wasn't going to let this be a completely female-centric system.  No, she reached into the pants that he wore and freed his massive long length from it's confines.  With her hand barely able to close around his girth she looked down and spit on the shaft before she used that lubrication to begin to stroke up and down on his length.

“I want you...” she whispered heatedly as she pressed her lips back to his.  Still stroking the full length of his excitement.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #11 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
Not sure what he'd expected, Lucan was still somewhat surprised on both their behalves that they weren't deterred by the circumstances they were in. Ji certainly wasn't stopping him, having expected that he'd gone too far. The development was getting out of hand, and he'd been hoping she would stop it all, lest they'd be recorded doing something that could be held against them both. Surely they would blame him for taking advantage of a visitor, thinking he'd forced himself on her despite what might be seen on the footage. Likewise, they could shame her for being with him - projecting their hate towards him and what his darker self had done unto her as well.

On the contrary, Ji had unsheathed him from his confines - enticing him with her hand - and she was whispering heated needs into his ears. How she wanted to be alone with him, and how she explicitly wanted him. Did she want him to continue? Was that what she meant? Did she tell him to not stop? Certainly she wanted more judging by the way she undulated her hips against his prodding fingers. Did she mean that she wanted him right there and then? His thoughts were leaden with desire, and he found meaning and consent in just so few syllables.

She wants you, whispered the coiling darkness inside, spurring him on since it wanted the same thing Lucan did. At least so far. There was no telling what it wished next, but right then, it advocated the very same thing Lucan needed. She wants you now. Do not tarry. Just give her what she is asking for... She is even warming you up for it, can't you see?

"Are you s-sure?" he managed against her lips as she stroked him, but even as he asked, he was already acting on her request.

He withdrew his sodden fingers from her, and with both his mismatched hands, he curled his fingers - metal and flesh alike - around the back of the denim waistline. Urgency held no quarter for hesitance, and he firmly yanked the cloth down to the top of her thighs, even as she stil straddled him. It bared her just enough, her bottom likely plain to the surveillance units in the cell. With his heart thundering in his ears, he then ran his arms underneath her legs and stood up from the bunk. She was small and lithe, and carrying her in his arms with her legs spread wouldn't have been an issue even if he wasn't fuelled by desire. What he did was to preserve a modicum of her privacy... by pushing her up against the bulkhead. That way, his own frame would shield her from any onlookers - them merely seeing her face across his shoulder.

In the heat of the moment, he couldn't remember afterwards if she had her arms around his neck already, but he did kiss her still - his warm lips raining against her neck and throat like thunder in a storm. He wasn't sure, victim as he was to the winds of passion, if she guided him inside herself or if he managed entirely on his own, but he gave her what they wanted.

All three of them in the cell.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #12 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Another Step | No Going Back | What is Wrong With You? | Control Yourself]
@Auctor Lucan




It was no secret that he wanted her.  She could both see and feel it right now.  She could tell how amazing it was, and she remembered all too well what it felt like the last time they had been in a situation like this.  She had to admit to herself, since that first time in the holodeck, she had held a bit of a infactuation with Nicander.  In the Sickbay, when he kissed her while treating her he had pushed that even further.  From that 'wants but can't have' category to the category of 'maybe this could work' but then the parasite came out.  The whole infested issue, then all the battles, and Liam, Sten, and everything else.  Vulnerable as she was in those moments, at least emotionally, she distanced herself from Lucan and tried instead to pursue others.  Liam was amazing.  He was kind, and warm, and such a great person.  Her heart did beat for him, but.. when she was with Lucan like now.. the beat was just so much stronger.

Right now, even as she knew she should stop, knew she should pull away, knew she should come back to reality she could not manage to do either of those things.  As much as she knew what was happening was wrong ethically Ji could not stop herself from wanting more.  His muttered mumbled question on if she was sure was not even met with an answer.  Instead, her lips continued kissing, her hand continued pumping, and her body continued grinding hungrily against what stimulation he could give.

He pulled his fingers from her pleasure centers and began to pull down her jeans.  Luckily, they weren't very well fitted and they slipped over her hips and down to her thighs with minimal effort.  He hoisted her up, using his arms to easily support her while her own went down to shove off the pants as best as she could.  A shoe dropping here, then there, and her pants hit the deck with some mild adjusting and him holding up her weight.  Their lips never truly parting from one another until she felt the cold of the wall plating behind her.

Nicander didn't need any guidance, he found his destination without any real effort and Ji gasped as he filled her.  He was large, long, and thick, and Ji found herself groaning heavily as he filled her.  She doubted that he was even fully in as long as he tended to be, but right now she wasn't worried about that if he wasn't.  He was kissing all over her neck and her throat.  Ji's face lifted a bit to allow him more skin to play with.  Her arms were around his neck, fingers in his hair, gripping it tightly as he took her there against the bulkhead.  She tried, desperately to be quiet, and yet, she could not manage it completely.  Whimpers gave way to moans and moans to the occasional muffled scream as she pushed her face into his shoulder in an effort to keep their time a secret.

“Luca...” she whispered, a name that poured out of her mouth, her own nickname for him.  She wasn't sure that she had ever used it before but now it came from her lips in a heated whimper as he and she enjoyed the pleasures of the skin right now. 

They kissed, her lips and his gripping and releasing one another.  Teeth clashing here and there, sounding and feeling and making the kiss that much more heated.  It was hot, and heated, and amazing.  She had not felt quite like this in a very long time.  She felt wanted, and desired, and she felt beautiful at the same time which was so odd for her.  It wasn't that Liam didn't make her feel those things but with Luca she just felt them more. 

“You make me feel alive.” she whispered as their kiss broke.  He continued pushing into her, but it was slower now, less heated, something more gentle, and almost caring.  Ji leaned her head back against the wall behind her, eyes half closed, as he continued to take her.  Less quickly, less hungrily, and yet with the same hunger as before just changed – altered.  She didn't know if it was to prolong the time he could last, or if it was because he wanted to change how it was a moment.  Maybe something had clicked mentally, she was unsure, but whatever it was.  It was even better in some aspects. 

Their foreheads pressed against one another.  She bit her lower lip a moment before whispering.  “Luca.” once more.  He hilted himself inside her as best as he could and she could tell he was unloading himself into her.  She kissed him as she too reached her own climax at the same time wrapped around his length.  Her hands cupping his cheeks as they kissed.

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #13 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
What Ji considered tenderness, however, would have been far more alarming had she known what was really going on.

Constantly, Lucan had to keep the beast inside from taking over, only it was an easy task after the Radiant had suppressed the influence of the darkness. Not so easy, however, when he was distracted. When control over himself was compromised, how was he to rein in the chaotic urges of a separate being? This was, of course, a known risk, and he had managed to remain in full possession of his wits when he'd been intimate with others. The difference now, was that the length of his incarceration and his genuine affection for Ji undermined his ability to keep the parasite from taking over.

Just enough to make him fear for her safety.

For the vivid imagery of the thing's urges came to him; vile notions no longer aligned with his own. Incentives of biting through the flesh of her neck, tearing her skin with his metal hand, and smashing her head to pulp against the bulkhead to silence her screams. Sadism, mutilation, necrophilia. Without any consideration for the repercussions. The way it might endanger the host body, and become a detriment towards it's own goals. It ought to remain placid, bide its time in hope for a better opportunity, but it cared naught about consequences. As always, it just wished to act on its malign whims. That's why it needed a host mind, to better equip it in manner of forethought and for the insidious objective of the darkness.

Only the present host mind was no slave any more.

So, Lucan paced himself because he fought for her survival, even as he didn't wish to alarm her, and yet also found her irresistible. It was, in fact, a form of tenderness shown to her, only with stakes involved that he didn't wish to tell her. Looking into her eyes, with his forehead against hers, he paced himself for sake of their full enjoyment. He needed the warmth he showed her, having longed for the bygone day when he'd merely been with her as a loyal Host to the dark. As a slave, he'd controlled himself on the holodeck for sake of furthering the agenda of the parasites. Not necessarily for her well-being. It would merely not have been very... constructive to kill her at the time. This was something quite else, where she was his priority.

And how endearing she was, giving voice to a nickname for him. One of her own. Despite the circumstances, she wanted to be with him, even as she knew his true nature. Beyond the heated experience on its own, and his feelings for Ji, it was also a sign of hope.

Hope, that one day, he might actually be trusted again. She said she felt alive, ironically, as if she'd snatched the words out of his own mind. Despite of his internal struggle, he smiled to her, even as he knew he wouldn't be able to conserve himself for much longer. As tight and small as she was, and the feelings involved, it had merely been his need for control that had prolonged the act. In the end, it was impossible, and even as his control was the weakest when he shed himself inside her, he endured through it. It was worth it, certainly, as he felt her share his climax. It was likely far better an experience for her, and he wanted her to have it in full. He made the most of it, making sure he didn't cease throughout the euphoria she felt - making her ride it out without stopping.

Distracted as he might be, she made it all worth it - the expressions on her face and the sounds she made something he'd never thought he'd experience. He returned her kiss, holding her while the aftershocks rippled through both their bodies. Meanwhile, below the surface, the beast inside was discontent, unable to have torn control from him.

It fell silent in quiet rage.

Gently, when he finally had vacated her, Lucan put her feet back on the deck, but he kept his arms around her waist so that she might find her balance. He kissed her still, not wishing her visiting time to end just yet. "That was... a bad idea," he said quietly to her in his deep voice, lips close to hers, "...but I do not regret it."

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #14 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Mistakes or Fate? | Choices | Reality Sets In | What is the Next Step?]
@Auctor Lucan




When all was said and done, Ji found herself breathing heavily.  The euphoria of the moments still within her body making her mind hazy and her heart running a race internally.  She leaned her head against his shoulder, which soon became his chest as he lowered her down to the ground so that she could stand on her own two feet.  His hands remained around her nude waist allowing her extra support while she got her legs back into working order.  Ji found herself leaning against him for a long moment, listening to the sounds of his heart hammering in his chest as well.  This was most certainly something she had not expected to happen when she decided to come visit him today.  He told her that it was a bad idea.  Ji's heart sunk in her chest down to the pit of her stomach as she looked up at him in surprise.  Afterall, he certainly hadn't thought it a mistake a few minutes ago.  Then he admitted that he didn't regret it.

He wasn't wrong, it was a bad idea.  There was surveillance cameras.  He had shielded her from them quite a bit, but otherwise, it was no secret what they had done.  However, she knew that she had made her own decisions and she wasn't going to blame Luca for them.  Even though she certainly might regret it later and what it might mean for her and Liam that was something she was going to have to puzzle through on her own before she admitted anything.  Liam didn't deserve his heart being broken and Ji doubted he would forgive her for what she had done regardless.

Once Ji was able to stand on her own quite well it offered Lucan a chance to fix his pants back up and Ji to look around for her pants which luckily weren't far.  Sticking out her leg, she put her foot on top of her jeans and pulled them closer before leaning down to grab them quickly.  Slipping her feet in she jumped a couple of times to get them over her hips and she secured the clasp and zipper.  Her dark brown eyes looked up at Luca again, where she stood in front of her and she stepped that half-step forward and put her arms around his waist giving him a long hug.  Letting the moment drag on for another moment.  She didn't expect that she could stay all that much longer but she didn't want the leave right away either because then it would seem so shallow.  This moment, what they had done, even though she didn't expect anything to come of it.  As soft as he had been with her, she figured there was no way he cared for her in any kind of deep way.  She was just a mechanic.  He was a doctor and someone that had once held the rank of Lieutenant Commander.

Ji pulled back and allowed herself the step back she needed to make it back to the bunk and sit back down on the edge.  Brushing a hand through her dark brown hair she thought, now, about the last few minutes with Luca.  Dread settled in her stomach as she realized what she was going to have to do.  Regardless of what happened she was going to have to tell Liam what had transpired.  Not right now, no, but at some point yes.  She wouldn't keep that a secret from him but she would have to be careful how she did it.  Also, she wanted to have the time to figure out whatever this was.  Because, surely it couldn't be nothing, yet at the same time she feared that was exactly what it was.  Her choices in men had always been horrendous and had never been very wise in her companions. 

“So... are you stuck in here, until the parasite is gone?” she asked looking up at him one hand still in her hair on the back of her head.  It hadn't quite come down just yet.  “I'm not certain how often I can come to visit...”

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #15 –
[ Doctor Lucan cin Nicander | Brig | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ 
[Show/Hide]
Embracing her in turn when she hugged his waist, Lucan was still not able to wrap his head around how much Eun Sae Ji trusted him. It did seem that she, beyond what many of the crew might, had faith in him and believed him more a victim than a facet of the enemy they faced. So standing there with his arms around her, he quarrelled with his own doubts in her - trying to see what it was she saw in him that the others didn't - but inevitably, he reached the same conclusion. That she didn't care about what had happened to him.

Lucan knew he wasn't fair in doubting Ji at all, but after the treatment he'd suffered since his true nature had been revealed, it was rather easy to assume the worst of his captives; the crew he had once been responsible for when it came to their health. With fading disbelief, he had run his tattooed hand through her hair during the embrace they shared, while his metal fingers rested against the small of her back. Eventually, however, she had withdrawn from him and gone to sit at his bunk. It appeared like she was a bit contemplative, and who could blame her? It wasn't like he was sure what had gotten into them either, throwing propriety and sensibility out the airlock. It was as if some... primal affection had got into them. Some animal drive beyond their reckoning.

Her question brought Lucan back to reality, however, referencing the indefinite captivity he endured. He had no idea when, or if, he would be released.

"Yes," he said in his deep voice, a frown touching his brow as he glanced towards the forcefield that separated him from the rest of the ship. "At least until then, I would think."

She'd said she didn't know how often she might be able to visit, and by the winds, that admission - after being deprived of lasting company and having experienced what he just had - cut him deeply. He stepped over to her where she sat and helped her her hair down with his fingers. He smiled to her, even if he knew there might be some time until she might return, which would allow them to speak at length about... whatever it was that went on between them.

"Regardless, I look forward to it," he said quietly, honestly, and glanced towards the reading she'd brought him as a gift. "Meanwhile, it seems like I have more than enough reading to pass the time. Thank you. Not just for that..."

It seemed such bitter-sweet thing to say it. Regardless, it was the truth. "But for giving me hope." Having said this, he ran his hand down from her hair and to the side of her neck. He put his metal hand on the bunk as he leaned down, and kissed her.

He hoped she might return sooner rather than later, but if she had to leave, then at least a kiss seemed the proper way to say good bye.
 

Re: Day 12 [1825 hrs.] The Universe Has Not Abandoned Thee

Reply #16 –
[CPO Eun Sae Ji | Unsure What to Do | Such Softness | Pulling at the Heart | Wish I Could Stay | Wish You Could Go]
@Auctor Lucan




She could tell her words brought reality back to the situation.  She didn't want to, but reality was where they lived and it wasn't like they could both escape somewhere.  They were stuck here, or at least he was, and she could only visit from time to time when it fit her schedule.  Which as much as she would like to make it a daily occurrence if even if it was just to talk and laugh and enjoy company, it wasn't feasible.  Still, she knew that he longed for her visits, even if he didn't say it, the face of his disappointment proved that was likely the case. 

Luca came to sit next to her, and she looked up at him as he reached up and fixed her hair for her.  Brushing his fingers through it.  It was true, he couldn't leave right now, and he wouldn't be able to for the foreseeable future.  This was where they would have to meet, in the least private place in the world and it hurt her heart.  She wanted to be exciting.  To find a little pocket of the ship they could abscond to for a moment, or seeing each other in the halls, eating together, playing holo games, things like that.  She would have to bring a game next time, holo games would be all right just the device and that was it.  Nothing to be left behind, and nothing that could be dangerous it would give them both something to do.  Or a movie, she could space them out.

He told her that he looked forward to her visits causing her smile to warm her face as he did so.  Stating she had brought him enough to read for the time being, and thanked her for it.  She gave a shrug, because it didn't matter to her, she would bring him something every time she stopped by.  She didn't want him treated like a prisoner.  He had not chosen the parasite that filled him from the inside, but he had fought against it and it was sad to see the entire ship turn against him for something out of his control.  Yes, if the parasite was on the loose again it would be dangerous for the whole ship but somehow.. maybe.. there was a way they could regulate it .. he had good control over it, and she believed he meant her no harm.  He had not harmed her in the least here, he had been passionate and gentle, and Ji felt exhilarated by it all.

He thanked her for giving him hope.  She smiled brightly at him.  “There's always hope, Luca.  Even for you, for us, for the ship..” she whispered softly, her voice full of truth and kindness.  He brushed his hand down to her neck and pulled her in giving her a kiss.  Ji let the kiss deepen as she leaned forward into it letting their last moments today linger.  As much as she didn't want to say good bye, she knew that she needed to, it was time, and people would be making their rounds soon.  The last thing she needed was for Luca to be taunted by his chosen visitor or people remarking about their time together. 

The kiss came to a natural end, and Ji smiled up at him staying close.  Her hand rose up and cupped his cheek.  “Do not lose hope, Luca.  I will be back.  Thank you for today, for your truths, and for.. everything.” she said warmly.  A long sigh, she didn't want to leave, but she needed to.  She needed to head back to her Quarters and get sleep, though her body wanted to lay down next to Luca, in his arms and sleep there, she knew that would not bode well.  They had already tempted fate enough with their previous actions. 

“I better go get rest for my shift.” she said, regret evident in  her voice.  “I'll bring something fun to do next time.” she said brushing her thumb across his cheek bone.  “Think of me when you're lonely.” she winked and got up off his bunk.  Walking over to the force field, Ji brushed her palm against the control panel there and the field allowed her to walk through it.  She turned to face him just on the other side and stared at him for a long moment. 

“Miss you, be back soon.  Keep hanging in there.” Ji stated, giving a small wave, she forced herself to leave while she still could.

- FIN
 
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