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Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

STARDATE 57565.98
MARCH 14

[ Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] @Triage

The sun was brilliant today. Suq stood in a market place. He didn’t know which one. Honestly it didn’t matter. He was here right now, the sun on his skin, people around him talking and hawking wares. If it weren’t so freaking warm out here, he’d almost feel at home.

His hair was up in something that resembled a Klingon topknot, but with a few more braids. He wore a vest and some shorts, all in bright colors and patterns, and his work boots. He was a fashion disaster and he loved it. Right now he was standing in a stall in an open air market, his favorite kind of market, where the sun beat down on his already dark skin and the pulse of the crowd felt like a heartbeat. He had a fabric in his hands, nearby there was an Aldean woman explaining how she could fashion it into something stylish for him, and he was listening close and smiling because yes, that did sound nice.

With the fabric in his hands, a breeze blew by, he closed his eyes. In his religion, to be fully present in the moment was akin to the highest form of prayer. To be here, now, and immersed in this moment in time and n no other was to give the spirits your undivided attention. That is what he was doing now, and to be here was to bring himself closer to the spirits. He was thankful, so freaking thankful for this precious moment right here, right now. He nodded and agreed, yes, he would have a robe made for himself.

There were few things that would make this moment any more divine, he thought, as she started taking his measurements.

Re: SD 57565.98: The Spirits that Be

Reply #1 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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After she cleared the transporter, Heather had to fight the urge to throw up. It didn't help that she had a knot the size of a boulder in her stomach from fried nerves. The last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions, irregular rest, and a jumble of uncertainty that eventually sent her running from the starship and the shipyards. She needed to be away from Theurgy, away from Carrigan, away from the agenda, the battle, or even the thought of it. She needed normal, she needed peace, living and being surrounded by something besides a paramilitary structure.

That was what brought her to the market, wearing a robe and sash, arranged in the Aldean styles, so that she could blend with the crowd quickly. The only thing she lacked were shoes, and she began walking on tip toe, much like she used to when she was a full Radiant. It took her a moment to get accustomed to the planet's gravity, and listening to conversations helped her pick up the accent used around here. She was able to appreciate the ambience of this place, even the climate, though she preferred cooler temperatures personally, this was bearable. More importantly, she no longer felt the pressure or being.

For the first time in a while, she was free.

But it also began to quickly get unnerving as she saw more and more new faces, and had nothing familiar to latch on to, so when she saw a short man with silvery hair and a top knot who looked familiar to her, she began to weave, artfully, but also clumsily, almost making a scene a few times. It took all she had not to get distracted by all the sights, smells and sounds of this place. There was the odd Klingon or two, ambling along as if this was nothing spectacular. It probably wasn't to them. But it was overwhelming for the girl, and she finally lost her footing and stumbled to her knees, right in front of the man she had been following. It was him. She smiled up at him wordlessly, grateful for something remotely familiar.

Re: SD 57565.98: The Spirits that Be

Reply #2 –
[ Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] @Triage

He was not torn from his presence in the moment, because the moment was flowing forward and he flowed with it. In one second, he was having his wrist-to-shoulder measurements taken. In the next, a woman had fallen on the street directly behind him. She was quite pretty, but entirely unfamiliar, and dressed like an Aldean. He assumed that’s what she was. Though, why was she looking up at him like he was familiar? He certainly wasn’t the sort of person who was easy to mistake.

“Hey, take it easy there, are you alright?” He turned away from the shopkeep, who was done with his measurements anyway, and bent down to take her hand, help her up. Her skin was soft and lovely. His was not quit so soft, but far warmer than any human’s, and he had a firm grip.
“Up we go!” He smile as he tried to help her up, the best he could, considering she was taller than him.
“You’re not hurt much, are you? Gotta be careful out here, you know. Looks like all the foot traffic wore the streets down a little, so there’s potholes. You could scrape your knees up pretty good out here if you’re not careful.” He brushed dust off her clothes for her. For Efrosians, mutual touch like this was perfectly acceptable, even between strangers.
“I’m Suq Reylin Efreya-Xan, and I have to say, your hair is so soft and pretty. Good work on keeping it healthy! I’ve been trying to keep mine all soft like that since forever, but it always ends up like straw. What do you use?” He spoke, with laughter in his eyes. This person was a friend he hadn't met yet.

Re: SD 57565.98: The Spirits that Be

Reply #3 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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It was a bit surreal to have someone she'd already met treating her like a complete stranger, and it took her a while to realize that in effect, she was a complete stranger to him. Because when they last met, she had a much different countenance, and she shone like a living star given human form. A myriad of lights in a dark ocean. But now, she was smaller, slighter, though with comparatively more going on upstairs than she used to, and golden hair. Suq was still a smaller man than she, though the difference was in approximately two or three inches at best, and she was more or less eye-level with him. They had to be the slightest, smallest people around the market; nearly enough to pass off as children, if one could dismiss Suq's white hair and beard.

She felt the strength in his arms as he helped her to her feet. Although she was much more durable now than before, he was still much more powerful than she would ever be. He was so upbeat, and friendly. Maybe he thought she was an Aldean. Her attire and fashion would certainly make her blend in, aside from her lack of shoes, and the habit of standing on tip-toe. She laughed softly, and nodded as he advised her, brushed her clothes free of dust, and then introduced himself, as well as complimented her hair. She laughed nervously again and blushed, brushing back strands of hair with a hand, as she worked up the nerve to speak to him. “Suq...” she said, “...it's me, Heather McMillan.”

She took his hands, and formed them into a cup, hiding her right hand within, and she let the light emerge while it was hidden from sight. Her fingers were still, but the rainbow hues danced in wild patterns over her skin like a flow of water made entirely of lights and colours. “I've been changed...”

Re: SD 57565.98: The Spirits that Be

Reply #4 –
[ Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] @Triage

Heather McMillian…Heather McMillian? The name of the spirit that visited him once, in sickbay? Could that really be her? She had the wrong face, the wrong build, she wasn’t made of light, and more importantly, that was not her voice. As he stood, still holding her hands as if she were just like him, he realized he was touching her, and to touch the spirits with bare hands was to maim them, and she was not being maimed.

Then she took his hands in turn. She touched him, and he did not feel his spirit leave this mortal coil, but…there it was. There was the light. His eyes widened, his heart sped up. It really was her. She said she was changed--This meant she must’ve been altered somehow. Aboard the Versant? But what race would be so cruel and so ignorant as to see one of the Spirits themselves and say ‘this needs to be corrected’?

He met her eyes. He did not know whether his heart broke or it sang. She was no longer walking among the Spirits, but she also was no longer forbidden from touch. There were many things he wanted to say. He composed them all into a song, privately began praying them to the Spirits that Be so that they may hear him before she did.

“...Hi Heather. Sorry, I, uh…didn’t recognize you.” He spoke. It wasn’t what he meant to say. It wasn’t graceful or elegant or beautiful like she was, but none of the words he could have said would ever be very graceful. He continued to hold her hands. A miracle--to be able to hold a Spirit’s hands was to hear the sound of snow falling or to see the curvature of the wind.  An impossibility, and yet…here she was.

“...Wanna hang out a little? I mean, I was just going to finish buying this robe, and then…Maybe get something to eat. Second breakfast sound good?”

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #5 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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Suq's thoughts seemed to be at war with itself as they stood there, her hand hidden within his. He was one of the few beings in the universe that made Heather look taller, but only by so much, since the margin of difference was only a few inches. She sensed perhaps confusion, anxiety, maybe? Just from what she could read and guess. Something in his eyes when both of theirs connected touched her deeply, but also troubled her. It was the way he looked at her. It held...almost the same kind of reverence she held virtually everyone in. And it was alarming. Didn't he once call her an angel?

She couldn't be farther from that myth if she had tried.

At least he spoke to her like she was a normal person. Much to her relief. She felt better, and quite glad to have someone she knew with her. Aldean gods were friendly enough, but it was absolutely terrifying to be on her own. She literally brightened when he offered to hang out with her. Second breakfast? How very Hobbit! Delightful! She smiled and nodded, “I would very much like that, yes.”

It was a good thing she hadn't eaten yet. “Are you planning on trying some Aldean dishes? I heard it's quite fancy.”

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #6 –
[ Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] @Triage

He never stopped holding her hands. They were cooler than his--his body temperature was consistently higher than that of a human’s. She was also not as tall as he had initially assumed. Just the right height for him. And she didn’t look ephemeral. Here he was, holding a spirit. Did she know how important this was? How momentous it was?

“Uh, yeah. I’ll try any dish once or twice…Uh, hold on.” He turned just a bit, his hands still on Heather’s, and spoke to the shopkeep. Some miscellaneous chatter, when to pick up the robe and what it will cost and when payment will be rendered. He paid for his commission, and then Heather had his full attention again. He started to lead her towards another part of the market. He remembered a food stand that had the most delicious smelling meats down this way…

“So, uh. You’re…not a Radiant anymore…?” He began, he had so many questions to ask and he figured he may as well dive into them. “So that means you’re…you know. Touchable? I can hold your hand and it…it doesn’t kill you?”

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #7 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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She made no attempt to withdraw her hand from Suq's as she briefly lost herself in thoughts and feelings. Thoughts about what was going on, about why Suq looked at her the way he did, about why she was feeling so overwhelmed when once she would have been eager to be amongst Aldeans or any new culture, especially one that was as friendly as theirs. To learn of their songs and to share her own with them. She felt out of her depth, lonely, terrified, but also elated (now that she was in familiar company), and more than a little relieved. Still, the feeling of fear did not leave her completely. 

She nodded idly as he spoke to the shopkeeper about payment for a garment he was buying. 

She scampered alongside him as they made their way towards the food district. It was a most lovely market. Then he began to ask some questions, but why did he sound nervous? He was a god, what did he have to fear from someone like her? It couldn't be her that made him nervous. Perhaps it was someone else or something else on this planet? Yes, that was probably it.

"Well...not completely," said Heather, she took in the scent of various dishes and meals, they were all captivating and somehow blended together in harmony, "w-hen the Savi attempted to reconstitute me, so much of my original matter was lost in the disintegration...process..." she lowered her gaze to the ground as they walked, and she sounded forlorn as she remembered what happened not more than a few days ago, "...according to accounts from others, Ectand qi Versant saved my life by adding Xenexian DNA and mass to replace what could not be replaced. So...I suppose you could say I'm half-Radiant, half-Xenexian now." She turned to look at Suq and brought to his attention her almost-glowing purple eyes. 

She smiled wanly, it was so sweet that he was so concerned about her physical wellbeing when he made contact with her. But maybe he overestimated how fragile she was even when she was fully Radiant? "I'm not so fragile that a mere touch would have killed me even if I were fully Radiant..." she lowered her voice a little as they drew closer in quarters to other people. Merchants, hawkers and restauranteers were coming within earshot of the two. 

"Also," she raised her hand, still holding Suq's in it, and grinned, "you haven't let go since that shop back there...I...I think that answers your question, doesn't it?"

She allowed the hand held by Suq to glow in shifting colours, making sure it was only a soft glow and only the part of the hand that Suq could see. "Would you tell me again about your people and how they met one of my kind?"

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #8 –
[ Lt. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ]

As they walked, Suq listened. He heard the sizzling of foods, and a number of conversations around them. Thankfully no one was speaking about them directly, except one individual somewhere behind them who asked his friend if that was a bearded child or a very small man. He heard Heather speak very clearly, even when her voice lowered.

How dare the Savi try and correct Heather. Or anyone, for that matter. Suq was raised to believe a body was a body, and bodies are beautiful. A natural product, and by virtue of being natural, inherently sacred. She explained further though, and he started to understand. Her life depended on being altered. As they walked, Suq swung her hand gently, aware that he was now touching a Spirit. The first and only Efrosian to ever do so. Historical, fucking historical...

Weirdly, he doesn't remember telling her that Radiants once visited his planet. He doesn't even think Radiants visited, but they resembled ancient Spirits so strongly, that now he had to wonder...Perhaps she really was a spirit? How else would she have known? Those old conspiracies, maybe they were right?

Regardless of what he believed, it was now his turn to play storyteller. Sadly he could not do so in his native tongue. He had a great pair of lungs, so the noise level would almost certainly startle the whole marketplace. Certain factions believed the song to be sacred anyways, so no doubt he'd commit quite the sin. But he could still tell it the best he could, in Standard.

"I'm not really sure why they came. I don't know if they came at all. But it's an old story. Mothers sing it to kids to inspire them to dream. Crazy people use it as proof that their get rich quick scheme will work. But….I'll tell you." And as they walked, he was quiet, composing the song in Efrosian and then translating the meaning into Standard. It would not be as graceful, but it would be accurate.

"This song starts way back when. We were...we were a newly born race. The Spirits of our planet still walked and flew and swam and crept across the perfect surface. Their true names are long forgotten to us now, but we still call them Den, Ret, Suj, and Ya. Land, Rot, Ocean, and Sky.”

"One night the Efros were preparing for their hunt. As we sang and beat the ritual drums, we rattled the Sky over and over until a star came loose. Ya saw this and declared the star was not one of the many marks on her perfect skin, but something new. She asked the Efros to beat their drums harder, so we did. Louder and louder, until even Ya herself lent her voice to our song, until the star fell out. Like a loose tooth. It fell from Ya's domain, landing on a hill in the heart in the center of Den's domain."

"Den was delighted. Ya was her lover that she could never touch, and to have a tiny piece of her at last was more than she could ever ask for. She protected the star with a great crater. The soil around it curled up to give it a cradle. Imagine her shock when the Efros came to say this was not a fraction of Ya's sacred body, but some other thing, you know?" At this Suq smiled. He had fallen into telling a story, just the way the old men of his own village did. What a great honor...As he had spoken, they had finally approached a stand. Suq looked over the menu, gave Heather a chance to order, and ordered something with a shitton of carbohydrates.

"Yes, thank you, we'll wait..." He nodded to the food stand, and as their meals were prepared, Suq resumed the story, a quiet voice just for Heather..

"Ya spoke to her long lost mate through the howling winds and told Den that she must not cling to this alien thing. Den must release it--but Den would not. Despite the wind blowing, the star would not move from it's cradle. Den implored Suj to arbitrate, and Suj, in her wisdom, decided that if Ya and Den could not decide, then she would have it. Her many waters welled up through Den's body, flooding the star's crater. Through all this, Ret, who rides on Den's back and who follows Suj's footsteps, Ret, who comes last in all matters, had begun to creep up on her many walls. She, too, wanted to lay rest to this thing, as it divided her sisters."

"It was Efros who walked among the spirits, and when they could not decide, it was Efros that united them. We could not move the star from it's falling place, so we built a city around this star. We built the star a chamber, deep within the heart of Den, with wells to let Ya wrap her arms around it. The waters of Suj were channeled into a cave-lake, to protect it and reflect it's glory. Humble Ret, who comes last in all things, has the holy honor of living directly on the star's shell. We called the star Aye Tell, the city Nyal'a Tell. These were the names we gave it when we walked among Spirits."

"Centuries passed. I'm not sure when this third song takes place. Auntie always said when we first mastered steel, and tribes warred against each other, but her wife always said it happened shortly after the star landed. An Efrosian man thought that the star was the most beautiful thing that had ever come into existence--and he was right in this. Aye Tell surpassed the beauty of Efrosia itself, some say. He dared brave Ya's howling fury, Suj's quiet power, and Den's mighty womb, but when he came to the star, Ret had covered it with moss and fungus and algae and the things that creep, so as to hide it's beauty. This man implored Ret to please allow him to see the star, but she would not until he proved worthy. So he sat with Aye Tell for five years."

"At daybreak of the fifth year, Ret took pity. She warned him that what was contained within was precious. A treasure. Within was a Sixth Power. The Spirit of...This isn't an easy to translate word, Heather, but the best I can do is Eternal Kindness. Anyway, Ret said he must not lay hands on the Spirit's form. He must not see her directly, for she was far more frail than any Spirit of Efrosia. The man, filled with love for this Sixth Spirit, wanting to welcome her to Efrosia, agreed.”

"Ret, humble, merciful, she opened the star. Within was...Well, we're not sure. The Efrosian man did not look, no one save for Ret did. But it was light, light of all colors, light so powerful that the whole city of Nyal'a Tell lit up. It was visible for thousands and thousands of klicks. That moment, the blind were cured, the deaf, hearing, the mute, singing and weeping at the glory that had blessed them. Like all Spirits, her true name--which was never spoken out loud--has been forgotten. We call her Alata, the Sixth. This man could not see her, but he was immediately filled with love. The kind of love for lovers. He wanted her to bless this Efrosia, but he also wanted her to himself."

"For five moons, Nyal'a Tell was blessed. For five moons, this man courted her. He brought her all manner of treasures. He composed music and sang to her. He shared with her all the secrets of our peoples. On that last day of Alata's blessing, he reached out to her, to hold her hand...but just like that, she was gone. Her light, fractured. Vanished. Never again would the Sixth grace our kind.”

"This is why Efrosia was never graced with that...that Eternal Kindness. That enlightenment. It was because of men, and it is why those of power are always female on my planet. All the males still carry that sin on their souls. So that's it. The whole story." He nodded.

Somewhere in the story, their food was done. Suq had taken both their food items, offered Heather hers, and was leading them someplace else, someplace with less people. By the time he reached the end, he had led them to a secluded alley, between two building. Delicate vines draped from the roof of one, the smell of fresh baked goods wafted through a window from another.

"...I hope you understand, storytelling such as that is a great ritual on my planet. Also very dangerous to share with others, but...I figure if I didn't share with a Spirit, it'd be a sin too. Please don't share this with anyone else..." He offered her an apologetic smile, and then took the first bite of whatever he had--some sort of flattened bread rolled up into a roll, smeared with custard.

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #9 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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Heather had struck gold with Suq. She honestly couldn't have found a better loremaster to share the account of his people with her. Or more specifically; lore relating to her people. It seemed she retained the innate curiosity of Radiants, as well as the charge given her by Shä'Nyêl, an ancestor she was somehow inexplicably connected to by ways as yet unknown...or she just had one very vivid imagination. In any case, after some hesitation, Suq had decided to take a chance on her and shared her what she suspected might be a sacred, time-honoured tradition.

She was so enraptured by his sharing, that when he abruptly broke from telling his tale to order something, she gave a small start and realized they'd reached their destination, and she studied the menu, ordering the meatiest option available. She was always quite the carnivore.

But her mind was more on Suq's tale, and she found herself hungry to know more, impatient, even. It was an eagerness she had forgotten after all those months trapped in the Theurgy, and with no opportunity to visit other worlds, she'd consigned herself to despair and hopeless repetition of daily activities. Carrigan...her relationship with him, it formed a kind of distraction that took some of the edge off, but she'd been too hasty, too clumsy, like everything else. It wasn't what she needed, and not even what she really wanted. But there were feelings of someone else she had to consider now, besides her own. This was going to be difficult, but also a problem for another day. For now, she had something to learn from Suq, and she was going to give him her full attention.

He continued his tale, they received their food, which she distractedly accepted with thanks, and followed Suq as he concluded the tale, and she felt wistful sorrow. Now she understood why Suq was so careful with her, treating her so gently. The Efrosians remembered what they did to a visiting Radiant. The mere touch must have hurt an already weakened Radiant, resulted in eventual death. Indeed, as much as Heather claimed not to be so frail even when she was full-blooded, the greater challenge was keeping one alive in a world of gods. She also did not miss the name that was given to the sixth spirit.

"I promise," said Heather, "the tale will not leave my lips. And thank you, for being willing to take such a risk, Suq."

She rested her hand on his, giving him a grateful smile, and in the privacy between them, she let her light shine a bit more, for a while. When it faded, her face turned serious, and eager. "But listen, there's something I need to share with you, about what you'd just told me. I couldn't believe it, but your story confirmed it. My people had visited your world long ago. You see, Alata is the original race name of the Radiant. My people on Earth had forgotten it, having assimilated ourselves so much into Earth culture, while barely retaining aspects of our own. I only found out recently, when I went to the Coreless Moon, my presence, my light, reactivated a great machine in the remnants of an old civilization."

She leaned back as she remembered the beautiful flying woman who greeted her. "The loremaster of the city was a hologram that held the actual direct download memories of the last living member of the Gîl Naur, an offshoot race of the Alata. She told me about the history of her people, and mine. Before she gave me whatever data storage devices she had left in her memory banks, she told me that I would be the Loremaster of both peoples...since then, I've started having...dreams, or m-memories...I'm not sure, but I feel like I'm learning more about my people, and discovering that they've travelled quite a bit, not just to Earth, but many other places. Perhaps to learn from others, maybe share their own experiences, or both. Suq, the Gîl Naur could fly...I...I think the Alata could too."

That might have given rise to the myth of them being spirit beings to the Efrosians, likely.

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #10 –
[ Lt. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ]

As she spoke, Suq’s eyes widened. She was putting together puzzle pieces. Suddenly the oldest conspiracy theory he knew of, that the Sixth Spirit was a visiting alien, came back into his mind. Now more than ever, it seemed to be so real. After all, Earth’s oldest conspiracy--that important people were evil creatures in human skin suits--came true. Why not this? Why not?

If it were true then the Spirits were not only real, they were tangible, in a sense. They were measurable, quantifiable. Their influence over Efros was real. He had been holding the hand of one for quite some time now. He lets Heather go to finish eating his custard roll. He had custard in his mustache, and when he spoke he still had food in his mouth.

“Are you sure she was telling the truth? There’s always been legends and myths about the Sixth being an alien, but…I didn’t think it was real. Nobody’s ever seen Aye Tell. It’s there, everyone knows it, but…It’s so deep underground. And well protected…”

“But you know what that means though!” He wiped his face, his smile lighting up, “It means Radiants have influenced our whole culture and religion, centuries before we ever achieved space flight. It means you really are a Spirit too--n-not that I ever questioned it.” He added the last bit quickly, to cover his butt. He was ashamed of ever having doubted Heather.

“This is--incredible. What if we were to go there, to Nyal’a Tell, and find Aye Tell below the ground, and what if it really was like…some sort of space craft. An ancient craft. You know the rumors say that Aye Tell still has miraculous powers. It heals all wounds, it’s a direct gate to the Neverending Skies. What if that’s true? What if---what if one of your kind is still there?”

He was all smiles, his head full of great ideas. Perhaps he was dreaming with his head way above the clouds, but the sort of hope and excitement it gave him made it worthwhile.
"Maybe I'm crazy, but...just imagine. Just imagine how cool it would be if, I don't know, if we just took the next shuttle back home to look for this, and I could show you the food stands there, and the music, and...all the old stories I could sing to you, and...and..."

'And I'd get to be home again,' is what he meant to say, but he did not. His smile faded a bit, the light in his eyes going out. He could not return home. He was exiled. He would never be going back.
"...It's a nice dream though, isn't it?"

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #11 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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When Suq's eyes widened, so did Heather's, but her more out of the sheer joy of realizing she was on to something, and he realizing that too, if she was guessing correctly. She similarly began to chew on her food when he took a moment to enjoy his own meal, but it didn't last, because he was talking again soon, and she could only offer reactions to whatever he said as she distractedly ate while listening.

A curious thought. Would Shä'Nyêl have any reason for telling her untruths? She was intrigued about what he had to offer about Aye Tell.

There was a moment of reflective introspection when he pointed out that the Radiant, or the Alata, had essentially altered the course of Efrosian culture and history with their visit. Good thing this was centuries ago, or the Federation would be awfully ticked with the Alata, if there's any of them left aside from Earth. When he mentioned that oh-so-casually, Heather bit down hard on her food, eyes wide. Blimey, what would Efros be like without us dropping in on them?

But she got excited at the thought when he all but proposed they headed off to investigate the remnants in a sacred city to see if they could find traces of a Radiant ship. She straightened up a little and was about to jump in all enthused, until she saw the way his smile faded a bit, and it was like a thought must have occurred to him, an unpleasant one at that, and then he called it a dream. She slumped back in her seat, and studied him quietly. Something was holding him back.

The worst part was she now realized that she was only looking into something pertaining to her, or her people. By all accounts, Suq all but outright revered her and her people, when all this time, it was the Radiants who looked upon everyone else as gods. Perhaps it got to her head in how quickly and easily it just was. But now, Heather realized that she forgot to ask Suq the most important thing ever, “Suq, may I ask you something?” she only gave the polite duration to await a response, but went on regardless of his response, “D-do you have family? Relatives? Back home...?”

Why would it be a dream unless something prevents him from acting on an obvious desire?

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #12 –
[ Lt. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ]

His mind was elsewhere for a moment, but he pulled himself out of it. He had to be present. Here, in this blessed, sacred moment with Heather in the warm sunlight, enjoying a cream roll. His eyes went to hers and he took another monster bite out of the roll. She asked if she could ask a question--well that’s an easy request.
“Of course, anything.” How could he deny the Spirits? They would never ask anything of him that he couldn’t do. Heather especially…

Ah, but she asked the painful question. The one he was avoiding. He supposed it was coming and he knew it, but he hoped it wouldn’t come. He glanced away, remembering his old life, missing it deep in his heart…

“Yeah. My mom, she…Well. She’s likely passed away by now. She let me know she was sick and not seeking treatment just before the Resolve left. I won’t say her name, just in case…” He sighed, pausing a moment. Offering her soul silence.

“My sisters…Heh, my eldest sister, Tavana Reylin Efreya-Xan. Runs a freight company. The only wholly Efrosian, private space transit company that the Efrosian state trusts.” He felt his chest sticking out a bit when he bragged about her. His big sis, the businesswoman. “She deals with Ferengi a lot these days. Brokered a big trade agreement, last I heard…”

“...Ralar. He was my first crush, I guess. A half klingon. We were best friends, we used to fight each other…Tadyn. Again, also used to be my best friend...there's so much more than that too. So many people…but now I can’t go back. My mother disowned me. I disgraced my family by joining the Federation…but I want to go back still. I have all that family still there, all my friends…and…I don’t know…”

His eyes found their way to hers again and he wondered. They say secrets weigh heavy on the soul, but the one he has in his heart right now, he'll be taking it to the grave. That is, unless, the spirits themselves wrest it from his tired breast, and he wonders if it's safe to tell her...

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #13 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
[Show/Hide]
Heather wasn't by any means telepathic or an empath, but nevertheless, she had the distinct feeling she caused him distress to some degree when she asked her question. She felt bad immediately for upsetting a god, but especially this one. Suq didn't deserve to have any unhappiness. She wished she could take it away and free him of this pain, especially since she caused it somehow. It didn't matter that it might have been unintentional or innocent.

There was some religious or spiritual connection in his culture and beliefs. He spoke of his mother, then an elder sister. She felt the depths of sorrow, and soared with him in his pride of Tavana. It was almost like she could see the people he spoke of as he painted once more, the images of the people that mean something to him. The Ferengi were gods of finance and commerce. Tavana must be quite sharp of mind and savvy to deal with them.

Oh...he was forbidden from joining the Federation. But if he did not, she would not have met him. Her life would be that much dimmer without his light.

She reached out, and took his hand in one of hers, while her other hand gently carressed his cheek, her thumb tracing off some of the food from his moustache. “Suq Reylin Efreya-Xan,” she said, speaking his full name, “I say honestly, take heart. Surely they can, and will forgive you. Family connections are not so easily broken. The light that ties you to one another through living is strong, and yours is strongest among all the gods. That light will lead you to hearth and home.”

She leaned forward, until they were intimately close, and she whispered, “If or when you decide to seek them out, I ask only that you bring me with you. Like you, I seek answers, truth, and light.”

She gave him a small smile.

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #14 –
[ [ Lt. Jg. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea ] ]

The way she spoke was just…so magical. Damn. Exactly the way a Spirit should speak. The way she used her words, the softness of her voice…and that didn’t even take into account the sheer, overwhelming kindness she had for him. Sometimes, when he was little, he used to be afraid that the Spirits weren’t so good. Maybe their values were alien to his, or maybe they simply did not have empathy for creatures as flawed as he was. Heather put those fears to rest. It was like…she held as much respect for him as he did for her.

“...I wish I could go home. I’m afraid that I would be chased down and threatened with death…and you know, out where I live, they don’t find dead bodies for years and years. The ice just…hides them. Makes them inaccessible….but damn. I wish I could. I want to go back. I wanna just…hug everyone. Tell them I’m okay and I made it, and…and there’s more too. I left more than just them on Efros…”

“...Heather, can you keep a secret?” He set the roll down and folded his hands in his lap. His chest weighed heavy. He had his inhaler, but…he knew that wasn’t the problem. He had a weight, the kind of weight only a Spirit could ease from his soul, and he knew he had with him the kindest of them all.

“...I have a daughter. Her name is Kamirra...She’s back on Efros too. She has this round face and these beautiful brown eyes and this little nose. And I know men are not caregivers. I’d be dooming her to a shit life if I entered back into her life, but…I miss her too. I remember laying with her while her mother was out, just staring at her little face and her tiny hand couldn’t even wrap all the way around my finger…”

“...Men can’t be fathers. In a lot of places it’s illegal. But even though I only ever met her once, when she was an infant, she’s my whole entire world. I’d do anything for her. I'd murder and steal and destroy if I thought it would keep her safe. I'd give anything to make a universe for her that isn’t plagued with evil, just so she can grow up safe…and I want to go back. I want to go back and be a dad the way all the other races have dads. I want to do that thing that they do where they go off and camp together and sing ghost stories together and teach her how to rig a warp core to detonate…"

He felt his eyes burn. When he lifted his hand to them, he felt tears. His chest hurt, it was so heavy, so full of pain. Just like it always was when he thought about her in the back of his mind. For years now...he realized he had been trying to bury the memory of her. Trying to deny himself the hope that he could one day hold her in his arms and tell her he loved her. He knew if he went back he and his little girl would be targets. But...he hoped. He wanted to hope.
“...I'm not supposed to feel like this for a child. I'm a man. Do you really think I can go back? Do you think she…will she even want a father?”

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #15 –
“I cherish and respect the gods, as all like me are meant to. I wouldn't hesitate to lay my life down for any one of them, but none more than those aboard the Theurgy, and then, more so for Suq. Dear Suq, and all that makes him who he is. I would have to write another book just for him, and all that he has taught me about love and life. I believe the whole universe could do to learn from him.”
- Heather McMillan, Life, Love, and Family

[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
[Show/Hide]
Heather was quickly picking up on the fact that Suq was possibly being more open with her than he normally might be with anyone else. Maybe it was because of the unique way he viewed her and her people, or perhaps he was just that friendly, though her instincts told her it was more likely the former than the latter. She felt inordinately pleased that she could serve in a capacity to help him somehow, with just her words and/or her presence. This had the unwary result of her body beginning to visibly glow and shift in shades of colours, just like she used to do very casually, only now, her emotions gave her the fuel to shine.

She felt a tinge of sorrow and also determination as he told her about the dangers of defying exile (but was it something officially declared/given?) and how he warred with his desire to ignore the fact in any case, and gave her a strong desire to help him fulfill his wishes in some way or another. It wasn't fair that he couldn't even let them know he was okay. She nodded when he asked if he could tell her a secret, and she was curious.

He had a daughter! And her name's Kamirra! She felt so happy for him, and then she was aghast. No dads? She couldn't imagine her life without a father! She held his hand again as he continued, nodding sympathetically as he reached the end of his tale. Her eyes welled with unshed tears for him. He has a daughter! HE HAS A DAUGHTER!!! Why can't they let him see her? That's not nice! Or fair! I will help him, in whatever way I can! Yes, that's the best idea for now. But I should make him a bunch of tribbles in the meantime. Dyan liked them, didn't she? I hope Suq would.

“I think...” said Heather, and her breath caught as she tried to compose herself before going on, she didn't want to sound too weepy, “...you have a right to feel the way you wish, and it would be rather unfair to both you and your daughter, not to let her tell you, or decide for herself if she would.”

She gave a weak smile, “Whatever you decide, I will support it.” The colours of her lights shifted in gentle motions, and she ripped a chunk of meat from her food.

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #16 –
[ Lt. Jg. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea ]

The words of a spirit were greater than any law. Historically, Efrosians could propose the claim that a spirit condoned their illicit actions, and if the spirit in question would appear in court to testify, the accused would be innocent of all charges. In the past, there had only been a handful of such acquittals. However Suq had before him the most powerful of all spirits. The most merciful, the most kind. She knew how Suq’s heart ached. As he lifted his eyes up to her, they were wet. He was trying not to cry. He was anyway.

“I…don’t know what to decide. I know that the mission here is important, but…” He sighed, his head hung, “…There is so, so much at home. And…and if the legend of Aye Tell is real, then you know…we could go there. We could go there and ask the spirits for the strength to beat these parasites once and for all. I could take Kamirra on a tour of the city and you could be there too…”

“...I guess what I’m saying is I really, really want to go back. Efros feels more and more important every day. I wish we could have vacation there… But I don’t want to assume you want to come with, just because there’s maybe a little bit of your race left there, and definitely my daughter left there…”

"...I should ask you then, what do you want?" He dried his eyes, and watched her closely. Yes, he did want to return home, but...he couldn't really do that. Not without Heather and her divine mandate. He didn't want to force her, but at least now she knew just how powerful the pull home was for him. And truthfully, he needed that secret off his chest.

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #17 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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A man divided onto himself. That was what Heather realized she had sitting before her. She glanced skyward for a moment, seeking an answer from the beautiful skies of Aldea, as she pondered what she would say to him. What answer was the most sensible? Was she even worthy to offer counsel to a god? Suq was a beautiful soul, but a fragile one, more so than herself. Even with her spirit struggling and suffering in a body not her own, she could see a pain far greater than hers. In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness, she reached out with a palm and rested it against his chest, to feel the pulse and beat of his heart. Suq's subtle body language opened up a bit more for her with this contact, and she looked intently at him.

He was torn between loyalty to the crew, his extended family, and his real family, and the friends left behind, from his life before Starfleet.

She knew what mattered to her, and what still mattered, even after the tremendous change and the strain that was placing on her psyche. She was still terrified about the prospect of what she was now capable of in this new body, and the effect the brain had on her mind and spirit. But that was her struggle, and her own shadow to deal with. What Suq needed was direction, and he was asking it of her, even though she barely knew left from right. But a god asked, and she was compelled to give him the best that she could, unfiltered, honest, and sincere.

“There is great risk in whichever choice you make,” said Heather as she removed her hand from his chest, leaning back and setting aside her food, “Blimey, my head would explode if I had to decide on what you are looking to do.”

She offered a weak smile, “But you've asked me, and I will offer you what advice I can give, to the best of my ability.”

Looking around to make sure nobody was watching them, she leaned back and held her palms in front of him, curling her fingers halfway closed, and concentrated on making a sphere of light. It was mostly an illusion of her lights, and once a supremely simple feat that now needed her to focus her mind and will to bring forth the light. “There are pros and cons with either choice. The problem I see now is that both are equal in importance.”

The two spheres of light danced lazily in lights and colours, shining between her slender fingers. They were equal in size, and the colours were exact twins in patterns and formations.

“The mission is important, and no contribution, no matter how slight in our eyes, is meaningless. If we abandon it, who will stand against the darkness? What then when by not standing against it, the endless darkness consumes everything in its path? All light removed, and life would end anyway.” She sighed, then her gaze turned to the other hand, “Family is important, especially to me. If I had a child, I would do everything in my power to protect them, with my life if necessary. No risk is too great. And there is the matter of the legends of your world, but it is as likely to be a dead end, and it is a great risk to take on a maybe.”

She clenched both her fists, but the light within was almost more powerful than before, and she looked upon Suq with eyes nearly ablaze, “And again, on the matter of family, if we leave the Theurgy, what if by doing that, we hurt your family, and mine, because we are not here, to protect them? The choice before you is almost an impossible one to make. Both are so important, and either choice could end in disaster. But more than that, I cannot make the decision for you. I am just a little spark in a vast ever-darkening universe.”

She looked away to one side, “We have some days yet where we will remain here.”

Turning back to him, she pressed her palms against his, making the illusion of her light flowing into him. The symbolism of what she was doing was important, “What do I want? I want you to take this time, to consider the choices before you, and whatever it is you want, ultimately, I will respect them, and my love and blessings will go with you, whether or not I follow. My decision in relation to yours, I too must choose carefully.”

As the lights in her eyes and hands faded until she looked normal once more, she studied Suq with slightly sad expression, “I wish there was an easy answer that I could give. But I believe you must choose what you find is best to you, and your soul. A captain may command you, and move you where they wish, but your spirit...” she pointed at his heart, her fingertip lighting on it gently, “...that is in your keeping alone, and you cannot blame anyone for being told to do something. Yet, take heart. The simple fact is, you are not alone.”

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #18 –
[ Lt. Jg. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea ]

As Heather spoke, Suq cast his eyes on her as if she were the most important thing in the world. She was! More than that, she treated him like he was the most important thing in the world too. Her hand pressed against his chest--he was warm, his heart beating strong.

If Heather were not a Spirit, Suq would not have unloaded this heavy weight on his chest on her. It was a lot, and it wasn’t even the right time in conversation. She was a Spirit, though! Spirits like her were infinitely wise, they knew what was and what will be. He had to tell her. He may not ever get another chance to speak, face to face, with a Spirit ever again. He had to unload and then get her advice.

Her light tricks awed him. They captured his full attention as she spoke. That she thought well enough of him to bless him with this….He lifted his hands up to touch hers, again with the sort of reverence befitting of a goddess. He was afraid her light was so fragile it would shatter on his touch. He held her hands like this for a time, his eyes set on her empty hands as he thought.

Truth was, he didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted both. He couldn’t see a way to do both, unless he scooped up his whole family, put them all on a ship and went to fight the darkness together. He couldn’t see that happening. Maybe his older sister, but that’s just because she’d fight anyone given half the chance.

But he also didn’t feel like he could continue on. His heart had grown weary. The idea of future battles made him so tired and out of energy, he didn’t know what to do.

“...I don’t know.” He continued to hold onto her hands. She was much cooler than he was, and it felt soothing to him. “My spirit says…a lot of things. All at once. Heh, my spirit isn’t as good as you. Not as composed.” He joked.

“...I still think something’s there, on Efros. I think that legend I shared with you, it has to have some truth to it. And I think it’s no coincidence our paths crossed at this time. The Spirits that be saw that we needed each other now. But…it’s not time. Not yet. I’ll leave this journey very soon, but not yet…” His voice softened, as if he was sharing a secret. A whispered prophecy.

“...I don’t know how I know that. I just do. If you leave, will you come with? Even if the legend isn’t true…Maybe you could have more answers about your people. At the very least, I know a bakery that I’m sure you’d love.” He cracked a smile, and then finally, his tearful eyes met hers. He was smiling, and yet tears rolled down his cheeks.

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #19 –
[ PWO Heather McMillan | Outdoor Markets | Aldea Prime ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow
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Her heart went out to the man once more, when he bared his soul for her, and he did not refrain. It was...refreshing. That a god would bestow upon her this gift. It was so unlike even Carrigan, who tried to shield her away from his pain, instead of sharing with her. She gave serious thought to his inquiry. The temptation was great, in all honesty, to just throw caution to the wind and follow him on impulse. There was no doubt in her mind that his cause was right, and would uncover many answers that would help the Theurgy and her crew. In the end, it would serve life itself, in the war against the nameless dark, a darkness that she was growing to realize, was something that her people had been seeking their whole lives.

She laughed softly at his mention about a bakery as a consolation if they fail to uncover anything useful.

“Suq,” said Heather, her voice soft and lilting, and her eyes twinkling with motes of light within them, “the best answer I can give you, now, is that, when the time comes, I most likely will go with you. Nobody should be alone in something important like this.”

It wasn't exactly a promise, though it was the most favourable answer she could honestly give at the moment as she still had much to think about, and the holes in her memories, the gaps, inconsistencies, and the foreign presence in her mind notwithstanding, she still had people to attend to. She enjoyed her time here, but realized now, that there was little time to waste on certain matters, and it was time for her to talk to Carrigan, and do something she never imagined she would ever do. She rose carefully to her feet, and smiled down at the still seated Suq, carressed his cheek once more, then bent down and kissed the top of his head, “Until then, dear Suq, I will be around. Thank you, for today, and thank you for the trust you've shown me in all you've shared.”

She tapped her brooch (combadge) after checking to make sure that no one but Suq could see her, and as the familiar beam of light surrounded her body, she tilted one foot off the ground and straightened up to her full height as she gazed upwards, giving the illusion that she was ascending in light, and then she was gone.
 

Re: Day 04 [0708 hrs.] The Spirits that Be

Reply #20 –
[ Lt. Jg. Suq | Outdoor Markets | Aldea ]

Her laugh was so beautiful. He was running out of sounds in this world that he could compare it to. It sent shivers up and down his spine and made his heart flutter. He, just some man, a mere mortal, could make the greatest Spirit of them all laugh. That she was so free with her blessings--to everyone, not just him--it re-ignited the fire in his spirit. The world harbored cruel and evil things. The parasites and those that would kill them on the outside, and the twin evils of regret and mistrust that grew on the inside of Suq’s soul like a parasitic vine. Her laughter, the light that shone through her face and onto the world around him made him realize that despite all these evils, there was still hope. Hope…!

He felt his whole face tingle when she touched his cheek. She touched him! Every second she did was a miracle and he felt his spirit fly. She leaned over to kiss him, on his crest. The symbolism was not lost on him, but he couldn’t find the words to voice it either. He began to stand too--they were so similar in height, he did not have to look up very high to hear her.

And she touched her combadge. She was going to leave now. All he could do was offer her a wave goodbye and the best smile he can muster up. He knew the transporters. He knew he would not have time to tell her anything…

…and she was gone. And he was alone with his thoughts, and his worries and his hopes and his dreams…

Would he stay?

- FIN
 
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