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EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ

Sleep eluded Thomas which was only normal if you took a nap till 17.00. There was a lot on his mind tonight especially. He had taken control of Tac Conn effective immediately from Miles. Thus all of the work came his way now, security reports of Khorin being accused of manslaughter though it was blamed to a correction of sorts. He had skimmed some of the reports which entailed the horrors that happened on the Versant. In addition there was the correspondence between him and Zephyr. He had come to the painful conclusion that the messages they had been sending to one another had to be internal as they were effectively working with communications black out to the outside galaxy. A realization that had hit him during the senior staff meeting, one he hadn't exactly been thinking about when unloading his raw emotions into the correspondence.

Ever since, he hadn't gathered the information that she had been aboard the ship, he struggled to act accordingly to it. He wanted to see her, get a face to face conversation with her. Though he feared the moment, their memories had already been tainted. Their near perfect time in the academy already leaving a bitter sweet tinge in the back of his mouth after today's correspondence. He had roamed throughout the ship to change his mind. His feet eventually having dragged him to the ground floor of the Arboretum.

It was as if his subconsciousness was trying to guide him to places where he's possibly see Zephyr Praise. He knew this in hindsight as the fighter pilot would never end up at the ship's library, hydroponics bay or this arboretum on one day. "Fucking great job Thom." he sighed to himself as he knew that it was useless to avoid the inevitable. The times he thought he had seen her, perhaps that was truly her? It was eating away at him and h knew he had to find closure to this mess once and for all. The short pain.

He came to a stop by a viewpoint that overlooked at a couple of ponds, gathering up his courage he spoke up "Thea, locate Lieutenant Praise."

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #1 –
[Lt. Zephyr Praise | Soil is for the Soul | Back to the Basics | Re-centering Gravity | I Hate You | I Love You | You Suck]
@Nolan


There was something about the feeling of soil beneath her fingernails.  The soft grit, the warmth, the fact that it was always moist when properly cared for.  Here in the Arboretum, a place she had located on her PADD and had been in now for the last hour, Zephyr had once more found her happy place.  She had gotten some surprised looks when she first stepped in and found the ranking officer in the joint.  Yes, she was a Lieutenant but she wasn't even sure that she actually belonged or would get to stay on this ship and Zeph was pretty big on doing things properly.  Once she explained who she was and how she had come to be here, she had asked for some things she could do here in the Arboretum.  She had been a Botanist before she was a Doctor and now she was both which usually messed with people's minds.  But, she didn't really care what people thought it was all about getting work done and clearing her mind.

Zeph was currently kneeling in one of the many flower beds.  A healthy pile of former weeds were over to the side in a heap that would be taken off and used for compost of the other flowers they actually did want to grow.  She knew there was a hydroponics lab here too, and she wanted to check that out, but what really centered her mind was working with her hands in the dirt.  She wasn't doing anything amazing right now, she could be in a Botany lab merging and splicing plant genomes together to see what she could do with them, but, no, she just wanted the monotony of maintaining the bed.

She didn't miss Azurite, she didn't miss the people there, but she was scared of them coming after her.  If they found out where she was, they would do whatever they could to shut her up.  She knew things, you didn't come back from Black Ops station like that and assimilate back into regular society.  So, she was scared and trying not to show it.  Zeph gripped a particularly stubborn weed and yanked, the muscles on her forearm defined and then it came loose with a root ball far larger than the plant itself.  She studied the roots for a moment brushing her fingers over them and checking out how they worked.  Each plant had different ways of growing, different root systems, and everything.  So, it was interesting to her, to look at all the different things.  She had opted not to wear her uniform, sometimes she just felt confined in one, and so she had decided on a simple pair of jeans and a lavender colored tshirt.

Then there was Khorin, off on the ship somewhere and despite trying to figure out this whole sleeping thing she couldn't.  Her mind was too busy and wouldn't let her rest.  So she had decided to explore the ship again, which was how she ended up here.  Though, she couldn't be guaranteed that he would even show.  They hadn't really gotten a chance to talk before he had to go to Sickbay and get a shot for his chemical imbalances.  She had thought to go with him, but he was distracted and probably needed space so she was trying not to be clingy as that had never, ever, worked out for her.

Then there was Thom.  The messages, the non messages, then the messages again.  She hadn't heard about the comms black out, and so she didn't realize he was on the same ship and she was too pissed to actually search for him in any of the computer systems.  She brushed the dirt around after discarding the plant into her pile and reached behind her for a small container that had some plants harvested and grown from another planet.  These she began to plant underneath a huge tree that had been grown here in the Arboretum.  She had found out quickly there was a cafe here too, and that, she figured, would be her favorite place to eat on this ship.  It was a great reminder of all the things that she loved.

The door to the Arboretum swished open and shut as people came and went into it.  She didn't really care either way, she wasn't paying attention.  At the moment she has a bunch of mental blocks up so that she could isolate her own emotions and deal with them instead of all the chaos of the people around her.  This ship had a rough enough history, she could feel it in the people as she walked down the corridors.  So she didn't feel him when he entered, and in any normal status, she would.  She would have known him like she knew her own breath.  She would have felt him down the corridor before he even hit the door.  But, she didn't, she was too busy and too closed off.  He stood off to the side and upwards, so he wasn't but a blur of a person in her peripheral vision. 

[Thea, Locate Lieutenant Praise.]

Did I just.. hear my name?  Is someone looking for me?

Zeph stood up and ducked out from the cover of the tree she had been working under effectively blocking his view of her.  Though her hair was only shoulder length now for the most part she looked older but the same.  She put her hands on her hips, and shook her head.

“I'm right here, genius.” she said calling out loud enough so he could hear her.  All her mental shields fell, her now black eyes, shifted up to him, she wanted to be able to feel him when he saw her for the first time in years.  “Use your eyes, Thom, I thought you were a pilot!”

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #2 –
[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ 

Waiting for Thea's response another came far sooner and the voice was more familiar then Thea's.

"I'm right here, genius."

His mind went blank for a second before a rush of feelings went to his head. It varied from feelings of jealousy to unpaid love, to a feeling of loss, a feeling of endless missing to finally "OMGWTFBBQSHITFUCKWHATTHEHELLDIDSHEJUSTWHATTHEHECKSHEESH!"
His demeanor shifted slightly, as if his body had been brought to heightened state of alert. How he'd normally react when a red alert sounded and the fighter elements had to be scrambled.

"Use your eyes, Thom, I thought you were a pilot!"

Hearing her voice again darted his eyes down to the woman standing in front of him on a lower level. Wearing civvies instead of a Starfleet uniform. He still couldn't quite grasp it. Zephyr Praise was on this ship. She wasn't a ghost despite her civilian attire. His mouth went dry, as dry as an arid plain. He opened his mouth, parted his lips, wanted to say something. Yet no voice came out of his vocal chords. His eyes stinging as he didn't dare to blink. Afraid that she was a mirage, that she'd be gone once he would blink.

He had played this moment a trillion times in his mind, if not more. He had rehearsed what he'd say to her, how he'd tell her EVERYTHING. Yet here she was, and there he stood. Seconds passed by that felt like an eternity before the fighter pilot moved. His hands gripping the balustrade and hopping over it. He closed the distance rapidly, like a predator lunging forward to strike at his foe.

He didn't stop. He didn't slow down his momentum. He simply crashed himself into her, his arms wrapping around her tightly and intensely as the chaos in his head cleared up and a single strong vibrant emotion flowed through it. The feeling of love he had for this woman. A feeling that he could probably never ever have again with anyone else. This was it, the pinnacle for love as Thomas Ravon knew it. Tears forming in his eyes as he shut his eyes tightly, the embrace not losing any force as he could've easily brought them five steps back.

"Is it really you?" he whispered faintly, almost inaudible. He could feel her body against his, he could smell that oh so familiar scent of her. Even though it was slightly different, it didn't matter. It felt like coming to a place where he belonged. It felt like... Home.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #3 –
[Lt. Zephyr Praise | Fantasy to Reality | Dreams Are a Wish Your Heart Makes | Don't Let Go | I Need You |  I Breathe You]
@Nolan


It wasn't real.

It couldn't be real. 

There was no way that Thomas Ravon had actually called her name.  It had been like breathing, hearing his voice.  Even after so long, there he stood above her on the balcony looking down and asking Thea where she was.  It was not even a wasted thought to decide what to say back to him.  Because, it was .. it was breathing.  When she called out to him that he should use his eyes because she was right in front of him she had honestly thought it was a mirage.  A dream, she had fallen asleep in the midst of her flowers and plants as she had done many times.  They were her home, where ever she was as long as they too were there, she was home.  It mattered little where the plants were, but she could find a little home almost anywhere.

The words though, in her mind, she could not believe she could hear.  It was a shock to her, hearing him screaming out in surprise in his mind.  His voice clear, and easily heard with the sheer level of mental screaming he was doing.  Dark eyes studied his face, older, bit of a shaded jaw because of the facial hair he hadn't had in the academy.  But, she would know that face, that nose, those eyes, those shoulders, anywhere.  She could pick him out in a crowd of a million because that was how familiar she was with Thomas Ravon.

His eyes, they found her, and her smile widened.  She hadn't even  meant to, she was pissed at him wasn't she?  All his stupid messages, and his stupid passive aggressive-ness, and his stupid recent messages, and his stupid commander rank, and his stupid stupid stupid stupid boy brain!  He stared at her, she could feel the raging emotions like a tide running through him.  Was she really here?  Was he really here?  Both of their emotions clashing and yet so similar as he vaulted over the balcony and landed some what in front of her.  Zeph's now black eyes shifted and she followed his movements because he didn't stop he was coming right at her. 

Then he was there.  All the warmth, the muscle, the tension, and the crushing strength of .. is that love? that washed over her as he crushed her slender body against his muscular chest.  She wrapped her slender arms around him and she clung to him for dear life.  He was there, she could feel the pulse of his heartbeat against the flesh of his neck.  Zeph burrowed her face into that nook between his shoulder and his neck.  When they were younger it was her favorite spot to rest when she was tired from studying and needed a break.  Taking a deep breath, she inhaled his scent.  Thom's scent, it was like nothing else.

It too, was home.

Tension bled out of her body, and tears began to well into her dark eyes and cascade downwards from her cheeks and onto the shoulder of his clothing.  She wasn't really crying, not yet, but the overwhelming tide of emotions; both his and hers was getting to her.  Despite thinking she would never see this man again for the rest of her life .. he was here.  Against all odds, fate had somehow brought them back together.  It was as if the magnets had found their other halves, snapping back into place, and all was right with the world again.  Zeph took in a breath, one she hadn't realized she was holding as his words found her ears.

“It's me.” she whispered.  “I never thought, I would ever get the chance to see you again Thomas Ravon, you idiot!” she cried out but held him tighter, her slender arms wrapped around his neck.  Zeph pulled back a moment later, not out of his arms, no definitely not.  Just far enough that her dark black eyes could study his face, her hands came up and brushed against the rough stubble. 

“You're all grown up now.  I'd recognize you anywhere.” she smiled warmly tears still slipping here and there down her cheek, but they were happy tears.  Through everything, Zephyr and Thom had been pulled back together.  “It's a miracle.”

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #4 –
[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ 

Feeling those slender arms wrap around his neck was perhaps the first hint of realizing all of this perhaps might be true. The feel of her face settling down in the nook of his neck, a place she had always favored... He could feel something protrude through his clothing, something wet, warm... Eventually she whispered out that this was her. This was real, This was here and now... She cried out that she'd never get the chance for this, she called him an idiot. Perhaps he truly was...

He felt her hold tighten before she slowly pulled back slightly as he looked into her eyes, black pools. This was different, Oh so different... She could probably see the confusion in his eyes as he puzzled it together. His eyes running over her features and branding every detail of her face onto his mind. Sketching a mental picture for him to cherish and hold on to. Updating the memory he had of Zephyr Praise so to speak.  He could feel her soft digits run over his face, against his stubble as He raised his hands and wiped the tears off her cheeks with the utmost care.

He had to smirk as she mentioned he was all grown up now, his eyes never losing focus of those dark pools. She called it a miracle, he wasn't sure there were words that could describe this moment. He hadn't spoken after having heard her voice. He was confident now that this was her. He couldn't quite grasp it quite yet as his own eyes teared an a few tears slipped down as he felt his muscles contract. It had been as if his whole entire world had been shook like a snow globe. He couldn't ground himself just yet.

His hand slipped down over her back, feeling up the frame of Zephyr as he wanted to ask so much. His lips parted as he wanted to talk before a chirp came.

"Lieutenant Praise is currently at our current location Lieutenant Commander."

This was the final confirmation he needed  to fully grasp the concept that Zephyr was here, with him, alive, safe. He blinked a few times "You..." he started "I... There's...I didn't... Zeph." he tried to form a reasonable sentence yet his brain was exposed to what simply can be called an aneurysm.

He closed his eyes as he tried to straighten out his mind. To form order where there was absolute chaos. The first thing that came through the order...

'Zeph looked different, her eyes so dark. Betazoid traits?'

Second

'How did she get here in the first place? Versant?'

Thir- Any rational thought being kicked into a black hole now as Thomas screamed out in his mind 'FOR FUCK SAKE!! YOU HAVE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING FOR ETERNITY, FOR A FUCKING MIRACLE TO GET THIS MOMENT! STEP IT UP RAVON!! YOU HAVE SEARCHED THE GALAXY ONCE FOR HER BEFORE!! THE THIS IS ONE CHANCE YOU'LL NEVER EVERRRRR GET AGAIN!!! YOU LOVE THIS WOMAN EVER SINCE THE ACADEMY, GET A GRIP AND TELL HER THE TRUTH OF YOUR FUCKING FEELINGS!!!'

His muscles finally relaxed around her, stopping the crushing hold he probably had on her as his smile finally appeared on his face. The smile that probably hadn't been this bright ever since his academy days. "You've grown up quite a bit yourself." he answered her as he let out a sigh, taking in a deep breath as he looked back into her eyes. His hand coming to rest against her cheek as he cupped it, his heart pounding. the stress rising as if this was his very first date or interaction with a female being.

Could he just tell her? Was now a good time?

His impulses took over, his pupils dilating and his heart racing to a meltdown as he slowly leaned in. His defenses crumbling down, the times he had forced himself to hold back at the academy, the times he had feigned his happiness for her relationship with Ethan, but most importantly!

That night where Ethan had swooped Zeph away, the night where he would admit his feelings to her.

All of it culminated to this moment, this one fleeting moment as without further thinking, without any restraint. He simply leaned in and felt his lips connect to those with Zephyr.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #5 –
[Lt. Zephyr Praise | Awkwardness in the Arboretum | Why Now? | Why Not Then? | A Bug in the System]
@Nolan


He was warm, and firm, and solid.  She could feel his heart racing against her cheek with her face pressed against his neck.  The thrumming of his heart pushing the blood through his body at a quicker rate than normal.  She could feel the strength in his body, the way he held her tightly as though she was going to slip through his fingers again if he didn't hold her this tight.  As if she would disappear as a figment of his imagination.  She wasn't one, but she could understand the fear, because it was similar to her own.  He was a good man, had always been a good man, and honestly, he was way too good for just about anyone in the world.  He had been through so much and she really hoped that he had found someone to share his life with.  He deserved to be happy, he deserved to laugh and feel light and carefree.  Thom had always been the sort that was serious to most people but when she was with him... there was a different Thom.

She could feel and see the realization coming over him, as he looked into her eyes.  Realizing that she was no longer the hazel-green eyed girl that he had met in the Academy because he needed help with Science.  She was dark eyed now and she still wondered if she should or wanted to fix it or not.  She hadn't decided yet, but that was a decision that could come later.  She didn't really feel the need to replace her genes the way they had been initially.  Khorin, her sweet Khorin, had met her this way and loved her this way and honestly she was terrified that she would not feel the connection to him that she had if she corrected herself. 

Some things were bigger than genetics.

His large calloused hands came up and brushed her tears away.  She smiled up at him brushing her fingertips through the scruff that had grown recently.  It wasn't a beard, it was just scruff, but she liked it.  Somehow, it suited him ,at least it suited this moment.  His hand slid up her back, he would likely feel the tone and muscle that had resulted of years of physical exertions to keep herself sane and to work off all the issues that Ethan had left her with.  She had hit rock bottom and built herself back up far stronger than she had been before.  She was not the Zephyr from the Academy, she was not that naive, she was not that person any more.  She couldn't be, the world had pulled someone so innocent and gentle and taught her the reality of it all.  Now she had become who she was now, and she didn't mind it.  She was glad that there had been a catalyst in her life to push her to be more. 

He began to spout words at her.  Her brows rose curiously on her forehead as they stood chest to chest in one another's arms.  She waited for him to get his thoughts together but she could rea them, she could hear them.  He was easy to read, perhaps because he was human, or perhaps it was because she knew him so well.  But whatever the reason, she could hear every single question that crossed his mind as soon as it did.

So she answered them.

“Yes, Betazoid traits, I was altered recently.” she explained answering the unspoken question.  She hoped that he wouldn't mind, but right now, with her mind open he would not be able to keep anything secret from her.  She knew she should shut her mind down, close it off, it wasn't right it wasn't ethical to read his thoughts.  But, she couldn't bring herself to cut herself off from Thom as quickly.  “Yes, I was on the Versant, but that is a long story.”

She knew that, technically, she could have answered his thoughts in her own thoughts, but she thought him hearing her voice in his mind would be too much.  That and, she was so connected to Khorin she felt that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to keep her mental voice more selective.  Then he was screaming into her head, like earlier, only much louder since she was not only standing closer but touching him.  Instantly in the act of preservation her mind threw her mental shields back up to cut him off mid mental rant.  The last word she heard was 'miracle'.

The quietness in her mind was a welcome relief from his excited screaming or cheering or whatever it was he had been doing.  But his eyes, she could read them like a book, it was a similar look that she had seen some time ago, but it was so long ago.  And, honestly, the emotions wafting off of him were so diverse.  The excitement of being together again, the romance, the love, the care, everything.  It was hard to tell whether he loved her platonically or romantically and she wasn't sure that it was a path that she would do well to walk down considering how connected she was to Khorin.  It wouldn't be fair to both of them, and it wouldn't be fair to her.

He cupped her cheek, keeping her close to him, and leaned in.  Her heart slid up into her throat as she realized what he was likely about to do.  Was she ready?  What would happen if she let it?  She hadn't told him about Khorin.  Khorin would likely not take her being kissed by someone else well.  She didn't know what to do.  What to say.  Her eyes began to flutter closed, she didn't want him to feel rejected, she could talk to him after, right?  She could do it later, right?  It was something that could be put off.  He was just excited.  They hadn't seen each other in years... right?

That was until she heard a loud buzzing sound and a large full bodied bug hit her right in the forehead.  She winced and her whole body twisted away from the bug.  She brushed at her forehead, stepping away from Thom as she brushed the bug away so that it would fly onto the flowers that it was actually going after and not her face!  She screamed like a little girl too, the high pitched squeal was a surprise to the both of them, who ended up staring at each other in the aftermath and then busting out laughing.  Zeph bent over nearly double as she laughed for a good long time.  The kind of laugh that eased the stress and released the endorphins that would make everything better.  Hopefully, anyway. 

“You would think, being a Botanist, bugs wouldn't bother me, but it came at my face!” she brushed her short bangs out of her face and tucked them behind an ear with a bright smile on her face.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #6 –
[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ

Like a child with his favorite stuffed animal, that was perhaps the most accurate way to depict the way Thomas held on to Zephyr. He could feel her more toned boy in comparison to the memory he had of her back in the academy. She had developed herself just as he had in a way. The most different thing about her were those dark black pools. He always enjoyed drowning into her hazel green eyes and this was definitely something to get used to.

He was surprised when she suddenly answered the questions he had in his head. It was both scary as interesting to know that she could read his thoughts. He smiled faintly as she answered them one by one. He wanted to ask her more, about how she got on the Versant, yet all of it didn't really matter. She mattered, that one girl.

The moment had come where he finally stepped up to do what he should've done years ago. He could feel Zephyr freeze up, was this a mistake? Their lips connected and... In just a matter of milliseconds he could feel Zeph tear herself away from him. He hadn't heard the bug. The thoughts, emotions and surge of blood washing through his veins like a river deafening almost everything from the outside world.

Suddenly she was out of his reach, she had stepped out and as he opened his eyes he could see the bug that she brushed off. The situation would be comical as Zeph began to squeal, a thing he'd very much see her do back at the academy as well. The high pitch of it almost hurting his ears as he stood there baffled. He exhaled and just looked at Zephyr as he stood empty handed. His mind racing as he could feel a certain ache well up deep inside him. It felt like something shattered in his very core. Had this been the moment he had worked to?  To finally open up and have it squandered by a bug? Was this perhaps a sign from the universe or whomever was in charge that this was not meant to be? Had Ethan been brought into their lives to prove just that point?

Thom swallowed as Zeph began to laugh, he figured she wasn't reading his thoughts or emotions. Her laugh though was something enticing. It made him curl the corners of his lips before he eventually laughed about the situation as well. He smirked as she informed him that the bug had gone straight for her face "I Guess... It just feels who Botanists are and wants to hug them too." Thomas replied as he put up a faint smile.

He couldn't and wouldn't blame Zeph for what had happened, yet the whole thing gnawed at him. All the momentum he had or things he wanted to ask or tell to her. The urge to catch up with her, all of it just seemed to get sucked away into a black void as he just stood there and looked at Zephyr Praise in the flesh. His situational awareness brought him back to the here and now, realizing that just standing here like a buffoon would be awkward. In addition, the fact that she could read his thoughts might not necessarily be a good thing.

He had to go. Think it all over. Figure out what just happened.

"I-I um... It was nice to see you Zephyr... Really... You have... No idea." he said softly as he could feel the searing pain of heart ache claim the center of his chest "We... I..." he took in a deep breath "We should catch up over coffee or dinner." he concluded, his tone slightly changing. Becoming once again a tad more distant "I'm sorry if I hurt you with those messages, I never intended to..." he whispered before he cast his eyes away from her and stared at the ground. He could feel the need to go, run away from this.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #7 –
[Lt. Zephyr Praise | Devastation | How To Move On |  What Now?  | Broken Hearted Boy]
@Nolan


Everything was different.

In that split second, it was changed.  Zeph's back straightened, she could tell the fake smile.  It didn't touch his eyes the way that they did when he was actually smiling.  She could see the way he averted his eyes, and the body language.  There were so many things she could pull from him without even dropping her shields and then when she dropped them the utter devastation and heart break hit her like a wall. 

Oh... no.

She watched him, her eyes watching every movement and feeling the way that his brain was trying to cope with the fact that their kiss didn't complete.  To fix it, she would have to rush back over there.. press her lips against his... tell him that everything was okay.  The bug was not a sign, it wasn't something that was keeping them apart it was just something they would look back on and laugh at some day.  A funny story to tell their children.  But, she couldn't.  Because her heart was not her own now, her heart belonged to a Klingon that was currently being treated for an imbalance in his corrected nature.  She didn't own it anymore, it had been taken, given, and accepted by another man and she knew that it would only hurt Thom more if she came out and told him.

That was a conversation for later, much later. 

When the emotions he was feeling weren't so raw and sharp.  She bit her lower lip and her shoulders slumped slightly.  He told her it was nice to see her, and that he hoped they could sit down for lunch or coffee some time and catch up.  She had destroyed him.  The weight on her chest was heavy as she looked at her best friend.  He was her best friend.  Despite having been out of contact with him for so very long she had kept him in her mind.  Kept him in her heart.  She had never forgotten him, ever, and often times thought about him.  Where he was.  What he was doing.  What he was up to.  He was everything her younger self remembered about the Academy and why it had been such a good experience for her.

“Thomas.” she whispered as she stepped closer and stole his hand.  She hadn't called him his full name in forever, it had been Thom always, but now, now it was important.  Her fingers slid in between his and she looked up at the taller man.  He outranked her now, he was older; still as handsome as he had been a very long time ago.  She gave him a soft smile. 

“I understand if you have to go but I-” she bit into her lower lip.  “would you mind taking a walk with me?  I .. I've missed you so very much Thom.  I, I, I know you.. probably are busy.. its just.. it's been a really long time...” she swallowed uncomfortably and looked up into his eyes with her black ones.  “Uh, you're probably right though, busy and all, we can.. we can do coffee... or lunch or .. uhh sushi... when things get settled down.  When I figure out what I'm supposed to do here... after the Versant and everything.. well anyway.”

She let her hand drop his and stepped back brushing her hair back behind her ear with her dirty fingers giving him the space to leave if he wished.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #8 –
[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ

It felt like an eternity to stand there, his muscles and inner self screaming at him to move away and take distance from the person that had unwillingly caused for the backlash of hurt. His eyes staring at the dirt underneath their feet as he was about to turn away. he had said what he had to say, he couldn't and shouldn't bother her with everything he was feeling. It wasn't right to do so... Just as his feet began to shuffle she spoke out his name, his full name. He froze into place, all the internal turmoil silenced with a zap.

Oh, how this woman had control over him... It was almost cruel.

Her words latched onto his feelings, the same feelings that had been urging him to move away. Yet he was attracted to her sweet words nevertheless. Like a bee to a flower. She seemed to put him under a spell of sorts and his rational mind nor his emotional state of mind could stop him from looking up at her. How she voiced out that she'd understand the need for him to step away from this. How she wished for them to take a walk... He wanted to nod, yet as she said to him that she missed him it speared right back into his very core. He could feel the air run out of his lungs as his jaws clenched together.

His eyes finally met her pitch black orbs, they stared into her as if he was staring into a void. She didn't need to be a telepath to tell how much different he had become in just that fleeting moment. In that one split second... His body remained in the same position as he had been seconds ago, not showing any sign of an attempt to flee from the situation, nor did it show any sign of giving into the suggestion she made.

Her words began to fumble lightly as she seemed to scratch back from her previous suggestion to take a walk. Perhaps it was another sign? Who knew? Yet at this point, did it really matter? He swallowed hard and nodded slowly, not having said or responded to her yet.

It was remarkable how even the little things seemed to cascade into hurt. The cherished memory of their sushi adventures back on Earth only caused for a melancholic feeling now as he offered her a faint hurt smile as she mentioned it as a possibility for lunch or snacks.

She left the choice to him it seemed and honestly he had no clue what to pick, what to do or what to say. He became more aware of where he was, hearing the sounds of the limited form of wildlife in the arboretum. His hands disconnected from her eyes at last as he looked at her tucking her hair away behind her ear. The dirt on her fingers as he knew he had to decide on something at this point.

Finally his rational mind spoke up to him, was there any point in punishing her for something she hadn't controlled? Was it okay for him to leave a friend behind after she had missed him so much because he couldn't suck up his hurt feelings? Didn't he owe it to her or anyone else for that matter to provide some comfort in a time of need? He was a department head after all. Didn't this come with the territory?

He took in a deep breath and gathered up all his strength as he cast aside his personal feelings. Though he doubted he could truly hide his feelings for Praise.

"I... I suppose we can take a walk." he whispered almost inaudible "It's been pretty much forever since we last took a walk. Besides, sending each other encrypted correspondence didn't really pan out." he offered her with a broken smile. He'd push through with this despite the ache, despite the change in his demeanor.

In the end... He'd do anything for this girl. Regardless of the cost.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #9 –
[Lt.  Zephyr Praise | I'm Sorry | I Can't Be What You Need | Position Filled | Friends Forever]
@Nolan


She felt the pull.

The one she had over him, and immediately felt guilty.  She knew that she should have let him leave, she was being selfish, there was no doubting that.  She should have allowed him to go on so that he could be his own person.  She had just broken the heart that she didn't even know beat for her until right this moment.  Swallowing, she waited, because she had already said everything.  Despite how broken he was at the moment she really wanted to spend more time with him.  She was being selfish.  She was being cruel, and yet she couldn't stop herself from hoping that while this was the first time they had been back together in years, he would stay.

She could feel how he was shutting parts of himself down, likely because of his emotions, and how he felt about her.  She understood his need to do that.  As much as she didn't want him to shut her out she knew that she couldn't be what he wanted her to be.  She wanted to hug him and tell him not to worry she would be what he wanted, what he needed, what he hoped for.  But, she couldn't because her heart beat for someone else.  Someone she hadn't even known existed a week ago and here they were living together and breathing for one another.  She couldn't explain or tell him all of that and in this moment she was kind of glad that he was just a human and he couldn't find out all of this from reading her emotions.

She could feel him pushing what he really wanted to the background and she chewed on her lower lip nervously.  Finally, he told her that he could handle a walk.  The smile that echoed on her face was brilliant and lit her whole face.  He told her that encrypted correspondence hadn't worked out for them and this was probably better even if it was painful.  She waited for him to come to her and then she turned so they could walk.  Though, selfishly, she put her hand in his as they walked holding onto his hand as they walked through the massive arboretum.

“I can't believe a place like this exists on a ship.  I've seen other ships with Arboretums and hydroponics but this is.. amazing it reminds me of the forests at home and .. it's just so amazing.” she admitted softly as they walked side by side, hand in hand. 

For a little while she didn't say anything as they walked and she went with him through the various small path ways.  She could feel his hurt heart but she wasn't sure what to say.  Even though she could feel it that didn't mean it offered her any insights on how to fix it.  She decided that catching up might be a good idea, at least a little bit, it could at least .. bridge some of the gap and maybe they could settle back into being friends.  Though unrequited love, she hoped that they could find something to be because with Thom back into her life she didn't want to lose him again.

“So.... how did you end up here?” she asked looking over at him with her black eyes.  “I have been out of the loop for such a long time, so I .. I want to know about you.  How did you end up on the Theurgy?”

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #10 –
[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ

Pulling up walls would be far less effective in comparison to how Betazoids could raise mental barriers to shut people out. If Zephyr would dig hard enough she'd probably still be able to read every single emotion or thought in there. Perhaps though it counted as a gesture, a signal for her to not do so as he didn't want her or him to get more hurt.

It was a surprise for Thomas to see how her face beamed up when he agreed on taking a walk with her. he made his way over to her and as she turned around he almost felt the shock roll through his body when she placed her hands in his. It almost stung, yet he squeezed gently in her hand, as if to make sure that this was still real. They started strolling through the Arboretum and he looked around at the typical place for Zephyr to be in.

Her surprise about the Arboretum made him smirk, he knew how much she loved nature "Figured this would be a place to find you." he offered softly to her. His voice cracking slightly yet maintaining enough strength to convey the message. It was again a sour reminder of how different he had turned in just that single moment. He wasn't the carefree and social young man she had learned at the academy, not anymore.

They walked in silence for a bit, which felt better for Thomas. Not having to speak and just to walk along as she sort of lead them through the pathways. It hurt less to not need to talk, yet she asked him eventually how he ended up here. Was the silence that awkward between them? He looked back into those black voids and he pressed his lips together "I'm afraid that's classified." he answered her, an attempt to tease her. Though it sounded formal, stern and cold.

She could see the surprise of it on his face as he had heard the tone of it himself and he shook his head "I uhm... I got hand picked for a prototype program. I was serving aboard the Kusanagi, new experimental fighters were being developed. So I got in because I'm apparently good at what I do." he told her softly "The fighters were stationed aboard the Theurgy and so I ended up here as the ship left Earth. After that things took a turn for the worst and we were branded traitors. Been fighting for our lives ever since." he informed her "How... How did you end up on the Versant? Where have you been before?" he asked her as he broke his eyes away from her and looked at some of the plants besides her.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #11 –
[Lt. Zephyr Praise | Pain Never Leaves | Broken Hearted Pilots | Trying to Find a New Groove | Walk Through the Park]
@Nolan



She could feel his pain, vividly.

The pain of a lost chance, the pain of a broken heart, the ache of love unrequited.  She felt.. horrible.  As much as she wanted to be the person to settle his mind, his heart, his soul, she could not.  No matter how much she wanted to turn and kiss him and mend his heart it would ultimately hurt him even more.  He didn't deserve that much pain in life.  He was a good man, a really good man, and he had been her best friend since they had met.  Since she had watched girls fawn all over him, since she had said good bye when he graduated, when she had messaged and supported him for years before they had both needed to go dark. 

It was hard to feel him.  She was so excited and so happy to be back with him, to be reunited with him for as long as they could be.  Because, he had always been there for her, until he wasn't, but before that... always.  He was her best friend, her very best and when she saw him standing up on that balcony she couldn't wait to hug him.  To wrap her arms around him feeling his solid body against hers.  But, not in the way he had wanted and hoped and now she wasn't sure how to soothe him.

When she asked how he ended up here he threw that it was classified at her.  She looked up, and swallowed heavily, the tone he used was sharp and cold and she knew that she would probably never get her best friend back.  It would never be the same.  She would mourn their friendship.  While they were both separated by black ops and space, she had just kept him fondly in her mind and heart.  But, now they were back together on the same ship and now things would be different. 

Maybe if she hadn't met Khorin.

Maybe, they would have grown to change.  To love one another, but Khorin was there and she could not deny the way that she felt grounded when he was in the room. The way she felt pulled to him the instant that they had met.  It hadn't been on purpose, but then, as her mother described an Imzadi never was.  It was sometimes something that grew on it's own slow and steady, and sometimes it was fast.  Her father said he thought it was very similar to something called soul mates on Earth.  When you met that other person, you just knew, they were your person.  They were the ones that you needed to stand with in your life because they were amazing and they were yours.  You fit together as though you had always known each other.

That was how it felt being in the same room as Khorin.

His face relaxed slightly and he began to explain that he had been hand picked for a prototype program.  He was serving on a ship with experimental fighters were developed.  The fighters were put aboard the Theurgy and he followed because he knew them.  She gave a nod as they continued to walk.  It was quiet for a little while as she struggled with her own emotions. Part of her wanted to tell Thom to grow up and part of her wanted to hug him until he forgave her for having not returned the feelings he had apparently been holding onto a long time ago.

He asked her how she ended up on the Versant, and where she had been.  That actually was classified.  But, she didn't want to be an asshole about it.  “Well, uh, I can't.. I can't tell you where I was.  I signed a million NDAs about it.  But um, I.. I ran away.”  those last two words were hardly more than a whisper as they talked hand in hand.  The scent of flowers was amazing, and she could hear a fountain around the bend.  When they got to the fountain, there was a ring of benches around it so she lead them to one and sat down beside him.  Not having let go of his hand yet.

“I was doing research, the kind of stuff that I live for.  Plants, and making the universe better, and not just botantically.  I went back to the Academy, for a while, and got my Medical Doctorate.  Because I had found out about hybridizing plants, and cells, and I wanted to merge them to create something new and something that could help people that are out in the field.  Including.. pilots.” she said looking over at him a bit of a blush on her cheeks as she looked away.  “Kind of had a stake in that whole.. taking care of careless pilots .. thing.”

Her dark eyes shifted over to the fountain and she sighed.  “Things went bad, really bad, where I was.  My research was stolen, and used in ways that... that it wasn't meant to be.  So... I ran.  I stowed away on a supply ship with nothing but my research and the clothes on my back.  The ship was picked up by the Savi and … the other two were killed.  The pilots.  I was spared because I was half Betazoid, and they wanted to fix me.  So.. so now I'm full Betazoid.”

She motioned to her dark eyes as if he hadn't already seen them.

“I met some fantastic people on the Versant.  One of them was from this ship. He told me that Ives would find a spot for me.. I hope he's right.  I'm too scared to go back.  I'm probably on some wanted list out there.. somewhere.” she admitted before falling silent as the weight of all her decisions hit her at the same time.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #12 –
[ Lt Cmdr Thomas Razor Ravon | Arboretum | Deck 22 | USS Theurgy ] @BZ

The physical contact of holding hands felt more like a lifeline after a while. Like a thread that kept the two of them connected after the miserable start of the evening. Ravon didn't let go, despite the hurt he felt. He worked hard and eventually managed to raise a mental wall high enough to hide his feelings from her. She didn't deserve to feel this pain, she didn't need to feel the pain he did. Effectively she'd probably feel a certain numbness if she sensed for him. The whole of the Thomas she knew was now hidden behind a veil of numbness.

They sat down by a fountain and she spoke about how she ran away from a top secret project. Thomas didn't inquire further knowing the woman would share the information if she was allowed to. He was curious about her research, yet he didn't ask about it either, assuming that the any more information would be classified as well. His eyes noticed the blush and his hand softly squeezed in her hand as he smiled faintly.

He was surprised to hear that on top of her science degree she even went back to study for her medical degree. He listened to her research's fate and how she eventually went AWOL. He tried to wrap his head around it, yet with the limited info it was hard to tell. She mentioned Theurgy crew finding her and promising her that they'd find a spot for her and he nodded emphatically. He wondered who found her, yet it didn't matter at this point. What mattered was that she was here.

He wondered why she was so afraid to go back and as she mentioned being on wanted lists he smiled as he cleared his throat slightly. His voice was back to a normal tone, not as sharp or cold as it was "I don't know what scared you Zeph... But even if you're on a wanted list... I promise you." his eyes darted up to her dark pools "I won't let them take you. I'll keep you safe and protected no matter the cost." he promised her, his voice and tone gaining just a glint of the old Thomas from back at the academy.

Slowly his hand slid away from hers as he took in a deep breath, his eyes remaining locked with hers for a few more seconds before he turned his gaze away from her "Like I said earlier, we should meet up again later. After you settled in and all. I... I just need some time for myself. You know?" he asked her, hoping she'd understand as he stood up.

Re: EPIL: S [D06|2355] Magic Happens At Midnight

Reply #13 –
[Lt. Zephyr Praise | Hating the Situation | Loving the Person | Not the Way He Needs]
@Nolan



He looked at her as he took in her story.  Her brows rose as he promised that no one was going to be allowed to take her back to whatever she had come from.  A soft smile crossed her face, and she gave him a little bit of a nod.  She wasn't sure how safe she would be, but then, she didn't know the real story of the Theurgy yet.  She shifted against the bench and leaned against him in kind of a hug without any arms involved.  As much as he was probably really pissed off at her, she had to admit that she.. she really felt like he was a piece of home for her.  As odd as that might be to say especially when she had crushed him so fully when they had reunite, he was.  He was home.

She swallowed heavily as she pulled back and he told her that he really meant what he had said.  They needed to get back together at some point and soon to catch up and figure out what was going on.  But, for now, he just needed time to himself.  She didn't move, she didn't blink, because she was afraid if she said anything, if she looked at him, then those tears she could feel building would finally fall.  She let go of his hand as he rose to get up but she stayed staring at her lap as he got up fully and began to head off.

“See you.” she whispered.

Soon, she would have to tell him that she had met and found someone that made her heart sing in ways that he never had.  And she knew that wasn't going to help any of his pain.  It wasn't going to make any of this better, but she didn't have anything else she could do about it.  She was neither embarrassed nor was she going to hide how Khorin made her feel to the world.  For someone so in touch with their emotions she was probably not gifted in hiding them anyway. 

Tears pitter pattered onto her jeans as he left and she finally cried softly.  A shaking hand rose to cover her mouth so that she wouldn't make any noise.  Shoulders shaking she just let herself have this moment to mourn what she had and lost.

-FIN-
 
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