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DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Triage

A first day on a new job was always long.  And most of it, Trent had spent reviewing reports from the last few days, even after his duty hours had ended for the day.  As he was wont of saying, a senior officer's work was never completely done.  And and Executive Officer, especially one who was also heading up two departments at the same time?  There was never a snowflake's chance in the deepest pits of Hell he'd ever be fully caught up.  But he already knew that from experience and he was well aware of his limits and that he was also needed a little time for himself whenever they were not facing an immediate crisis. 

And from those reports, there was one that had caught his attention, one about the actions of a particular civilian, a Miss Heather McMillan.  Apparently, she was not human and she had performed admirably despite the fact she had no Starfleet training to fall back on and indications she had been under considerable stress.  Further investigation led to the fact she was not human and was, well, skittish at best. And while he was keenly aware he needed to speak to her, Trent decided a less formal venue than his office or her workspace would be a far preferable option.  As such, after taking the time to change into some comfortable, and quite casual civilian attire he keyed his combadge.  "Miss McMillan, this is the XO.  May I have the pleasure of your company in my quarters?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #1 –
[ Heather McMillan |  McMillan's Lab | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

[Show/Hide]


"Just one drop..." Heather McMillan said to herself, tongue sticking out to one side, holding a vial of strange blue fluids over a beaker with transparent liquid.

"Miss McMillan, this is the XO.  May I have the pleasure of your company in my quarters?"

"YIP!" McMillan wasn't expecting a call anytime soon, and jumped, pouring definitely more than one drop into the beaker, and the entire contents fizzled, bubbled and boiled over, "Bloody hell!"

The young woman raced about desperately for a cloth and soaked up the contents with it before too much got around. Heaving a sigh of relief, she rose up on her tip toes and sauntered over towards the communications panel on the wall, "H-hi..."

She frowned at the machine, "Is this thing on?"

Well she made herself look a right fool now, didn't she? And before an XO no less. Whatever that was. "I-I'm on my way."

She pressed the button again, and turned to look uncertainly at her lab. After spending long hours helping out at the medical bay, she had eventually returned to her lab, where after a short amount of sleep, she'd woken up, fresh and ready, and decided to play mad scientist. Well she was really trying to come up with a better kind of treatment for Ovri in case of injuries. Now, what did the XO want to see her for? She removed her lab coat and hung it up, leaving her in her long-sleeved white sweater and a knee-length brown skirt.

Forgetting her shoes, she left, barefoot, and headed out into the corridors, on her way to the turbolift. Walking on tip toe, with her long hair untied and trailing behind her like weightless wisps she almost looked like she was floating in water as she moved, though only a few flecks of light occasionally showed itself in her eyes and around her head like a strange halo close to her forehead. She passed a few officers who gave her odd looks, and the lights died away, and she fell back on her feet.

She shouldn't be so open just yet, she realized, and became very self-conscious. She grew more nervous as she approached the XO's quarters. Why his quarters, she wondered.

[ XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ]

Pressing the chime on the door, McMillan cleared her throat, "Commander Trent? Heather McMillan here." She squeaked. "Y-you wanted to see me?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #2 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Ms Heather McMillan

Carrigan had expected the pause between his call and the answer.  After all, he knew full well that Heather was lacking a combadge and therefore would have to make for the nearest panel in order to answer his call.  And when she answered, hesitantly at first and then wondering as to whether or not the channel was open, the Executive Officer could not help his grin; the reports had not been lying, she was definitely not the most certain of people and there was something somewhat amusing at her reaction.  And when she acknowledged his request, for it was a request and not an order, he made for his own desk.

Upon it was a simple jewelry case, not unlike the one he had been presented with twelve hours past but much larger.  And upon it, in gold leaf, was an outline of the Theurgy and two words: Heather McMillan.  That case he then simply put on the coffee table in the middle of his living area, and he waited.

When the chimed sounded, he headed to the door personally instead of simply opening it remotely.  When the panels hissed aside, he was greeted by the sight of the biologist, her hair seeming to flow about her head and her feet... bare?  Some might find such a thing offensive but having read the reports regarding the scientist and having heard her over a communications channel moments ago, and between her attire and her slight build it seemed most fitting.  One thing for certain, the picture on her dossier hardly did her justice for it failed to carry, well, her, for lack of a better term. 

And besides, Trent himself was barefoot in the confines of his quarters, especially considering he had changed into loose trousers and shirt and the only concession for the uniform was the combadge he still wore. 

Stepping aside from the door, he gestured towards the inside of his quarters.  "Please, Heather, do come in."  His voice was still at his usual near-whisper, but there was warmth to it and a smile upon his lips.  "I assure you, this is nothing you need to be worried about.  May I offer you some refreshments?  Tea, perhaps?  Or something stronger?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #3 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

[Show/Hide]


McMillan hadn't known what to expect, so she jumped a little when the door hissed open and there was a man there. Parts of him anyway. Her eyes had gone over to the left arm and his left leg. Had she not heard something about him? What on Earth did this man endure? A Radiant wouldn't have been able to survive such injuries and losses. She was envious of the durability of other races, compared to her own. They had to be so careful, as just about every little thing seemed able to kill them with near impunity. It was a wonder she had survived on board the Theurgy this long. While it was rude to stare, the young woman couldn't help herself, it fascinated her, and horrified her all at once. She sort of empathized, while she couldn't even begin to imagine what he must have felt about losing limbs. She almost missed the question and invitation.

"Wh-what?" She blinked, shook her head and finally brought herself to look up into his eyes, "Sorry...uh. No, thank you, I'm quite all right." She smiled shyly.

She nervously stepped in, but her awkward gait of walking on tip toe almost had her tripping, but she managed to keep it to a quick stumble into the room. She avoided a collision, and straightened up, her hair flaring up briefly, changing its colour to a radiant gold shine, before reverting to its original brown texture. It felt strange for people to even know of her existence. But she supposed it was inevitable now that she'd interacted with various individuals. Brushing her floating hair back down to make herself look more normal, she finally noticed that she'd forgotten to put some footwear on. Closing her eyes, she mentally cussed at her stupidity, and then moved to stand behind something, anything, that might hide her feet from view.

Placing her arms behind her back, she decided to ask Trent why she was here. "Was there something you needed my help with, sir?" She was indeed curious why one of the ranking officers wanted to see her. She couldn't imagine that she really would have much use on board a ship except for mild medical situations or biological research, that was why she was brought on board. Throughout the time, she tried her best to keep her eyes on his face. But the temptation to keep looking at his left arm and leg was constantly there. Still, watching his face showed her that he seemed a man who had seen so much. It was almost as profound a story as the story of his mechanized prosthetics.

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #4 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Ms Heather McMillan

Trent would have had to be rather thick not to notice the looks his prosthetics were garnering.  But such things did not bother him.  After all, he had been the one to insist on not receiving the synthetic skin coverings on top of the exoskeletal structure.  He had meant it to be a warning to himself and others against rash actions and a constant reminder of what leaping before looking led to.  And considering everything this crew had been through, it did not hurt to have a very obvious reminder that although he was a very recent addition to the ship's company and he had not experienced everything they had he was still no stranger to loss and hardship.

When Heather stepped into his quarters, he watched as she moved.  There was a strange grace to her movements, as if gravity was lighter just for her.  And the way her hair trailed behind her in a halo had a surreal, kind of magical look to it.  But when she started to glow from within, he took in a sharp breath in surprise.  The reports hardly did the phenomenon justice!  Yes, in the dry prose of a formal report it stated she was luminescent at will but to witness it firsthand, and not in the stress of battle was something completely different.  There was an undeniable beauty to the display and when she muted it and smoothed down her corona of hair, the afterimage of hair floating behind her and light radiating were still burning bright in his mind. 

But what brought a smile to his face was when she began to make every effort to hide her bare feet.  "Heather, I understand that the training given to civilians who work on Starfleet vessels pretty much revolves around 'whatever an officer says is a direct order and their names are all Sir and Ma'am' but this isn't a formal meeting.  I invited you here to have a very informal chat with you."  Despite her answer she did not want refreshments at this time, the Commander went to the replicator and proceeded to order a pot of tea, with two cups and all the trimmings, which he then set on his coffee table, right next to the jewelry case that bore in gold leaf an outline of the Theurgy and Heather's name.

"If I meant for this to be a formal 'yes Sir, no Sir' kind of affair, I'd have called for you to meet in my ready room or I would have come into your workspace.  And I certainly would be in my uniform.  So, with that in mind, when we meet informally, my name is Carrigan." 

Then, he seated himself on a low couch and gestured to the other seats about the coffee table.  "Please, have a seat, relax.  You aren't in any sort of trouble."  And as he smiled, he extended his synthetic arm towards her, pulling the sleeve all the way back to the interface between what remained of his left arm and the amalgam of metal, polymers and circuits that replaced flesh and bone, acknowledging her curiosity.  "Plasma burns followed by exposure to space.  The damage was too bad for repair, they had to amputate."

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #5 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

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"I think I missed that training." McMillan said weakly, and smiled nervously. She watched as he ordered a pot of tea, and prepared everything for two, despite her refusal of the offer. As she watched him set the pot down on the table, her eyes were drawn to a jewelry case, and she couldn't help but notice that the name 'McMillan' was written on it. Maybe it's for another McMillan. She thought. Because that was a Starfleet badge, she was certain.

She frowned at it. Just how many McMillans were there on board? Not a whole bloody lot!

She obediently set herself down on a chair, where she barely made a depression, despite how much she looked like she might have weighed, she was far lighter. Her eyes were drawn back to Trent's arm as he exposed more of it.

"Bloody Nora..." she whispered, "It was a miracle you survived that. Sorry! I didn't mean to imply y-you were weak or anything. I mean, it's good that you survived, with everything else relatively intact...I mean! Uh...I think I'll shut up now."

She distractedly pointed at the name badge, "S-so...what's that?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #6 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Ms Heather McMillan

When Heather sat herself down, Carrigan could not fail to notice how little she sank into the seat cushion.  Granted, standard Starfleet furniture wasn't known to be the most comfortable or plush but still, the indent she made should have been, well, deeper than it currently was.  But when she spoke about her arm, words tumbling out of her mouth, he offered her a smile and waved off her concerns.  "It's quite all right, you're not offending me or anything.  And yes, it is a miracle I survived.  If our relief had arrived any later they would have beamed in one more corpse."  As he spoke, a shadow crossed the Commander's face as he recalled the events that had led to his injuries, the flash, the agony, the terror of being cast out into the black, not even fully recalling being beamed to safety... 

Briefly, he close his eyes and took a deep breath.  That door had been opened and the least he could do was to deal with the contents of the room.  "This is the second time I'm promoted to Commander.  And when I last held the rank, I was in command of the USS Harrier, a Saber-class ship.  She was small and getting her and her crew up to speed after I took command had taken a lot of work but she was a good ship.  Long story short, early in the Dominion War, I thought a Jem'Hadar fighter was a scout so I ordered the pursuit.  We were led into an ambush, and we lasted a good six minutes against a half-dozen of them.  We destroyed one, crippled another two but we were overwhelmed.  I ordered the crew to abandon ship and I was the last one to leave the Bridge and I was on my way to my life pod when a plasma conduit burst next to me, and even before I fully realized what happened, the hull gave out and I was sucked out into space."

Having told the story, Trent took a deep breath.  "The board of inquiry found that the Harrier and much of her crew were lost to unavoidable enemy action and I wasn't held responsible in any way.  But I was so rattled by the events that I requested a demotion at the time."

Having given that explanation, he poured some of the tea in both cups and took one for himself, drinking the aromatic brew devoid of cream or sugar.  Really, he needed just that moment to steady his nerves, and not a moment too soon as she asked about the jewelry box on the table.  Setting his cup down, Trent picked up the case for a moment and he looked directly into the biologist's eyes.  "The actions you took during the mutiny would have been commendable if committed by a member of Starfleet.  But coming from you, they were beyond admirable.  The Captain and I had a little discussion about your case and in deference to -ah- your shy nature it was decided that it would be better if the formal recognition of what you accomplished was done less formally." 

Only then did he open the case.  In the top half was, in gold leaf, the ship's motto, Fear is Courage when it has said its prayers.  And in the bottom there was a genuine Starfleet-issue combadge.  "As outlaws to the Federation, I felt a formal medal or decoration wouldn't be the most appropriate.  You have done much in the service of our ship, of our crew.  In fact, your actions were instrumental in our survival in the engagement against Calamity.  You have acted with the same dedication and selflessness that would be expected from any member of our crew.  And by doing this, Heather, you earned the right to call yourself and be fully considered one of our own.  And to wear one of our commbadges." 

Only then did he set the case back on the table and he slid it across to his guest.

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #7 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

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The young woman held her tongue from speaking anymore as Trent explained how he lost his arm, and how this was his second time being promoted to commander. She felt for the man. It seemed like her really went through an absolutely horrid time. But what he did next truly left her speechless.

"......" she was flattered, no doubt. Saying she was more impressive because she wasn't Starfleet for what she did. What did she do? Just tried to make sure nobody died, really. Still, Trent and the Captain himself seemed to feel it was far more than that. Which made her cheeks warm, and glow in a soft red hue. She admired the gold leaf and its motto. Something she always liked about the Theurgy, plus there was also a combadge in there.

But didn't that mean that, "I'm being given a position? I mean...I'm flattered, and honoured, but..."

The girl wracked her brains for the right and appropriate way to answer this without sounding rude or unappreciative of the gesture and the exchange between them. She also wondered about Trent himself, and what else of his stories he had to tell. This was turning into a fascinating discussion really.

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #8 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Ms Heather McMillan

The expression on Heather's face brought a smile on Carrigan's lips.  These kinds of surprises were always pleasant to deliver and when a soft rosy light started to shine from her cheeks, he slightly inclined his head to a side.  That luminescence was something truly unique about her and it fascinated him.  Where was the energy for this coming from?  How was she controlling it?  But regardless, it was a rather endearing display and he could not take his eyes off it. 

When she asked about whether she was offered a position or not, the Executive Officer raised an eyebrow.  He had read at some point that the Chief Science Officer and her would have a chat about offering her a formal civilian position on board instead of being just a temporarily embarked scientist.  But whether or not that meeting had occurred yet he did not know, or if it had he hadn't come across the report about it yet.  That too was entirely possible.  "Well, not to steal Lieutenant Tovarek's thunder, but I was under the impression you and he would be meeting about just that.  If you haven't yet, that's no big deal but I'll leave that to him.  But from my end, I'm welcoming you to the crew and the ship as one of our own regardless of whether or not you formally become part of our Science department. 

And he had to address her hesitation.  Rising to his feet, he went around the table and picked up the combadge from the jewelry case in his still flesh-and-blood hand and approached the young woman some more and he held it before her.  "You took immense risks yesterday and regardless of the danger, regardless of the difficulties you had to face you kept on going and you kept on doing what needed to be done.  That was beyond admirable."

Then, he smiled.  "May I pin this on you?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #9 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

[Show/Hide]


Heather you idiot! McMillan scolded herself for her own brainfart. "Right! Right, uh...I mean, yeah, sorry, yeah, he did talk to me, and I did take him up on that, you know, as a freelance researcher, and all that, but with access and stuff, so I can play with all those new toys in the lab, and help out in the medical labs, practical applications with flora for medicinal purposes and I really need to know when to shut up, sorry."

Lame, girl, lame lame lame lame...

She straightened in her seat and shifted with embarrassed appreciation when he praised her willingness to take risks. She brushed wisps of flailing floating hair back, which started flaring in a red-gold colour, making her look ginger-haired instead, she glanced at the teapot to distract herself, it was not lost on her how he seemed to be observing the way her body was lighting up like a disco ball. It didn't help that she enjoyed the sensation welling up within her as she used her photokinesis more often. In fact, she needed to use it just to feel better. It was really starting to become so addictive. She knew it would be, but she had no idea how much it would be so. Without her parents to guide her on how to control it, she wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing.

But being around people, especially men, made her light up more as she became flustered and nervous.

Her body was now lighting up very faintly as she dispersed her energy to focus on every inch of herself, so she had a faint pink aura surrounding her body when the commander asked if he could pin her with the combadge. Blinking rapidly, and then remembering herself, she managed a nervous smile and a nod, "Y-yes, yeah...you may."

She held still and waited, now watching the commander, her eyes fixed on his, while chewing on her lower lip.

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #10 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Ms Heather McMillan

At one time, a term was coined to refer to people who spoke that quickly back on Earth.  The term was motormouth.  And it would apply quite well to the civilian in Carrigan's quarters.  And indeed, she had taken him up on the offer to join the Science department, and that was a good thing all right.  It would serve to further legitimize the fact she would be wearing a combadge like any other member of the crew; indeed, Trent was ready to expect some resistance to that particular award as she would not have 'earned' it the same as anyone else, through grueling efforts at the Academy and their uniformed service.  But that she would be formally part of a department would help alleviate that. 

When she began to glow a soft pink, a colour that quite nicely matched the rose that had crept up her cheek, the Executive Officer could not help his smile.  Apparently, she did not glow quite that much before the mutiny, if at all.  But that soft glow had been preceded by much more vivid displays of light, and something about, especially the look of blatant concentration that briefly crossed her features, concerned him some.  But then, she invited him to place the communicator upon her chest. 

Gently, he placed it upon her chest, just above where the swell of her left breast began and exceedingly careful not to let his fingertips brush where they might not be welcome.  Once he was satisfied with the placement, he lowered himself to sit next to her.  This was, after all, a casual meeting and he still felt the need to further put her at ease.  "I won't lie to you, there will be some on board who'll resent this.  But you've earned the right to wear a combadge no less than they did through your dedication to our ship and our crew.  Anyone gives you trouble, do not go to Lieutenant Tovarek and come straight to me.  I'll handle them myself."  His voice was still his usual near-whisper and his tone was soft, but there was an underlying edge to his words.  It had been his recommendation to recognize Heather in such a way and any misgivings would be his to deal with if or when they'd arise. 

But then, he reached for her again with his flesh and blood hand, gently touching her shoulder.  Given where he was sitting, reaching with his prosthetic might have been less awkward but he did not want to risk unnerving her too much by reaching with the cold, hard and unyielding synthetic limb.  "Heather, all that lighting and glowing, is that... draining for you?  I understand you did it for the first time on board during the mutiny, but you've been, well, a very luminous presence since.  But that energy, it has to come from somewhere.  How is it affecting you?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #11 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

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In hindsight, McMillan realised it might have been better if she had applied that pin herself. She tried her best not to flinch at the closeness of the commander. She hadn't too long ago been in a similar level of proximity with another man, that being the chief medical officer. She wondered if this was going to be frequent between her interactions with any man on board the Theurgy. She exhaled very slowly when his hand came very close to some place. Lowering her head, she examined the placement of the combadge. The commander was very pinpoint, she supposed. Then she noticed he was sitting very close to her. Flustered again, she began to brush her hair down, though that very motion cause the bottom of her hair to rise up. She was beginning to see why her people liked to either cut their hair short or else tie tiny weights to their hair, or braid them very intricately.

Turning her head to look at him, she listened carefully to what he had to say. People would resent this? Her eyes widened with panic, "Then take it off! I-I-I don't want people to be upse..."

She really had to learn to listen to all a person had to say. He wanted to handle the situation for her? She shifted and watched as he moved to use his organic hand to rest gently on her shoulder. Her frailty and lightness of weight could be felt just in the touch alone, and she gave way very easily to him, adjusting herself to accommodate the weight of his hand without causing discomfort for her. Humans were so strong, they wouldn't know how much damage a mere touch could inflict on a Radiant. She smiled and laughed softly at his questions about her photokinetics. "If I had a latinum for every time someone asked..."

Well, how could anyone ask that? The Radiant weren't exactly open about their presence, abilities or existence. She might well be the first Radiant to have revealed herself to the Federation ever. Pursing her lips, she shifted her position so she would be facing him, taking his hand in both of hers. Her grip was extremely weak, at first it might have felt like she was trying not to touch him, but based on her posture and the way she was holding his hand, it was just how light and frail she was. "Would you believe we don't actually expand all that much energy into it? I mean, we do use energy, and it's not infinite, but it'll take a while before we're truly too exhausted to glow. It's actually an addictive sensation. I never glowed before because my people, the Radiant, we try to be unobtrusive about our existence. But when I used it to help Dr. Nicander and Nurse Vojona, well, it was like getting a first taste, and it's rather hard not to let my light shine now."

She shrugged her shoulders slightly, "It doesn't hurt me, and not all that draining at all. Legends about my ancestors suggest we used to shine like the stars all the time. The energy as you call it, comes from my inner core, or, more specifically, my spirit and soul."

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #12 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Heather McMillan

Trent could feel how Heather shifted beneath his hand.  At first, he thought she meant to break away from him but instead he quickly realized she was trying to bear the weight of his hand more comfortably.  And beneath his fingers, she felt slight and delicate, even more so than she actually looked.  So that definitely explained the exceedingly shallow depression she made in the seat cushion and it dismissed any lingering doubt that Doctor Nicander in his report had made a simple error by writing 'pounds' in lieu of 'kilograms' where he described the civilian's estimated weight. 

But when she took her hand, the feather-light touch surprised him.  And something was telling him that for her this touch was firm but to him it was feather-soft.  Though he had to say, that delicate contact was one of the nicest things he had felt his entire life and he found himself wishing for more. 

When she started to speak about her luminescence, he first smiled when she mentioned receiving payment whenever she was asked about that aspect of her being.  Somehow, he had the distinct impression she would have exactly one piece of gold-pressed latinum to her name as a result of this question.  But what she was saying was fascinating.  Her glowing was a result of her innermost energy, coming from something that was not even fully proven by medical science.  Once upon a time he would have dismissed this as a wild flight of fancy but these days?  He was far more open-minded than he thought he'd ever be.  But as interesting as it was, there was one word that stuck to his mind.

Addictive.  And if there was something that Carrigan Trent understood was addiction.  He had sank into a deep depression following the loss of the Harrier and his own injuries and as a result he had sought relief from the symptoms.  Except he had not sought out professional opinions, he had self-medicated with substances legal and otherwise to deal with the pain and the stress and it had taken much work to get his act back together and at times he still felt the cravings for some of the more powerful agents he had resorted to in the past. 

"Heather, as amazing as your abilities are, I can't say I'm not worried about the addictive part of your abilities.  I know about addictions and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone you.  You strike me as a bright, sweet young woman; I'd hate to see you go down the same path I did."

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #13 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

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McMillan's glow started to fade away, until nothing was left. Stray strands of her feather-light hair floated up and danced about with the very slightest motions of her head, but without their usual glow, it looked...dead. The young woman's expression was one of concern, even fear as Trent spoke about how her addiction to glowing was worrisome to him, and his confession of having gone down such a path caused her to concentrate on suppressing her light, as she used to do. Fortunately, it wasn't too hard, since she only spent her entire life learning how to look as human as possible. Still, there was now that tickling sensation in the back of her brain, demanding that she let her light shine like it wanted to. It was hard to cage a bird just recently set free.

While she wasn't entirely sure that Trent's concerns were well founded, there was also the fact that neither she nor any Radiant on Earth alive today actually knew much about their ancient abilities, so Trent could be right, or he could be worrying for nothing. She released his hand and looked away, folding her arms around herself with a sense of uncertainty. Her mind drifted to all the scientific possibilities of danger to using her light excessively. There was also all the research she had conducted on herself, studying her own biology to gain understanding and insight into the nature and the core of the Radiant. There was nothing she had found that would indicate that using her light too often had detrimental effects. Rather, it seemed to hint to the opposite. But was she just fooling herself? Justifying the need to shine?

Her hand reached up to touch and trace the outlines of the combadge and the decorative pin. Finally, she turned to look back at the XO, and she gave him a sweet smile, "Well...I'm not entirely in disagreement with your concerns. But to be fair, neither of us really knows much about my people and our gifts. What is good and what is bad...is as much a learning process for me right now, as it is for all of you."

Fussing with her blouse and skirt, she adjusted her attire and gently wriggled her toes on the flooring, rather enjoying the feel of free, uncovered feet. "I know I said it's rather addictive, but from what I feel inside of me, ever since I let my light out for the first time ever, in such absolute abandon...I dropped the suppression I had been holding over my entire body for the first time, and I felt..." she shrugged, "...free. Like I'd been trapped inside a box this whole time, and I was dying inside, without a means to let out all that had been growing within me."

Her entire body began to slowly brighten once more, now in a golden-white hue, and it changed her hair colour to look bright gold, with flecks of orange and red. Her eyes started to brighten, the irises looking like emeralds, and McMillan's smile grew, "I cannot help this anymore than either of us can help breathing."

She gently rested a hand on Trent's, shifting her body so she would be facing him where she sat, "Comm...uhm...Carrigan, I propose this: You watch me. If I start showing signs of behavioral deterioration, then we'll worry. I'd rather not you worry about me, if there's nothing to be worried about at all. If it'll put your mind at ease, I've studied my own physiology, and from what I've found, I think shining is better than not."

Her smile finally faded as she looked wistfully at the man in front of her. The sheer damage to his body made her heart go out to him. Not in pity, but she truly wished he never suffered like he did. So maybe it was pity. But she did her best not to show this feeling she had, and hid her expression by briefly brightening her light around her face. When the light faded, she had shifted her expression to one of curiosity, "Can I ask you something?"

She turned to look at the room's surroundings for a brief second, then looked back at Trent, "Was it because of what happened to you? The injuries, and everything...that led to your falling into addiction?"

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #14 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Ms Heather McMillan

When Heather pulled back her light, somehow Trent's quarters felt darker than they'd been before she had arrived and started radiating.  Somehow, the room felt emptier, colder, sterile even.  As for the young woman herself, he could not fully describe the effect it had on her. Somehow, she seemed ashen; almost as if she was recently dead and pallor had just set in.  Not to mention that he had caught her uncertainty, her doubt and perhaps a hint of misery at having to curtail what appeared to be a very natural process.  And instantly, the Executive Officer wanted to see her glow again, to see that warm light bring her to life again. 

And when she spoke of what it felt like, he felt his own heart drop in his chest, nearly turn to ice.  He had voiced his concerns but had done so without having a good enough grasp on the situation and background knowledge.  But then again, he had a rather personal relationship with the concept of addiction and that was a demon he would not wish inflicted on anyone and it was that close-to-home impact that had spurred him to speak as such. 

But when she began to glow again, he found himself somehow buoyed by that sight.  It was as though life was returning to the scientist and his quarters were again somewhere comfortable and not dank and dark.  And she agreed to put his doubts to rest in a very reasonable way.  And once she spoke her piece, he carefully turned his hand over, delicately closing his fingers upon hers and mimicking her own feather-light touch.  "I might have been a little... hasty in what I said, I'm sorry for that.  And I think it's a good idea, and I'm grateful you're not taking offence to what I said and you're willing to help putting my mind at ease."  He smiled.  That was not something he did often.  Not that way.  Oh, he remembered the savage expressions he wore on the Bridge when he was commanding against Calamity.  But a genuine, warm smile?  It had been a long, long time since he'd experienced one like this. 

But the question she asked next, it sent his eyes to the deck for a moment.  The memories were unpleasant to say the least and not long ago he would have run away from it.  But with his regained confidence?  He simply took a deep breath.  "Yes," he answered softly.  And he started to tell his tale.

"I was given command of the USS Harrier, a little before the Dominion War started.  And when it started, at first we enjoyed a good deal of success.  But one day, we were supporting an evacuation.  My ship was part of the picket to keep the Jem'Hadar at bay, and we picked up what I figured as a scout.  I got the authorization to pursue, but that 'scout' was bait and I wound up flying us right in an ambush.  The Harrier was Saber-class and in a tactical configuration but she was not real warship.  We held for a time, we called for reinforcements, but we got overwhelmed.  But fought hard, took some of them with us.  I had to give the order to abandon ship, and I was on my way out when a plasma conduit burst.  I lost my left foot right off the bat and my arm and my leg were pretty badly burned.  And then, the hull gave out and I got blown out into space.  Between the burns and the vacuum, the damage was too bad to try and repair it, they had to amputate."

Carrigan's gaze had grown distant as he spoke.  While the memories were not enough to destroy him any more, the were hardly pleasant.  "The experience was... hard on me.  And between the painkillers, the flashbacks, the memories, the nightmares, not being able to sleep... Yeah, I crawled into a bottle, I got my hands on controlled substances.  Only to try and forget, or try to sleep.  Took years to get through that and be able to function again."

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #15 –
[ Heather McMillan |  Sickbay | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Lucan cin Nicander, Hylota Vojona & all medical personnel

[Show/Hide]


McMillan studied Trent's hand as he very gently wrapped them around her fingers. He still felt so solid and strong, but he was very gentle, there was no denying his ability to control how much strength and pressure he applied to her. It made her feel safe, somehow. When he spoke, she quietly replied, "You care. I'm not going to fault you for that."

She returned his smile with her own, eager and happy, and her aura changed into a soft, gentle, warm colour, inviting and comforting all at once. She wasn't sure really why she was lighting up this much in the presence of others. But her emotions were all but demanding for her to do so. It was something about Trent, she eventually realized.

She sat up straight and paid attention when he began to talk about his experiences in the Dominion War. She raised her free hand to cover her lips, her lights diminishing in fear as he revealed just how bad it had been for him. A tear even came free from her right eye. The tear itself, infused with her light, sparkled like a diamond as it ran down her cheek. She clasped his hand with both of hers after that, sandwiching it, giving him a sympathetic look, and on impulse, feeling bolder than she'd ever felt before, she leaned forward, and kissed him on the cheek, her lips' touch light as a feather. And she leaned back, smiling, "But the important part was that you did overcome it, and that is something that inspires hope. You're a rare person, Carrigan."

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #16 –
[ Commander Carrigan Trent | XO's Quarters | Deck 02 ] Attn: Heather McMillan

As a rule, Carrigan Trent did not like revisiting those memories.  However, with Heather they did not bother him.  He did not feel the ghost pain in his missing limbs, he did not feel the dire urge to force his lungs to function nor to scream.  He felt free when he spoke to this young woman, he did not mind telling her all of this.  In fact, he was more willing to spend time with her, to tell her these things, more than he ever had been with any counselor or therapist.  With her it did not hurt.  When he looked up, it was just in time to see her lean into him and press her lips, gently and feather-soft, against his cheek.

Tenderly, he reached for her face with his artificial hand and the pad of his prosthetic thumb ever so delicately wiped off her brilliant tear before he offered her another smile.  "I was never really sure whether or not I'd be able to make it.  The fact I'm here right now, that's a miracle." 

And then, just then, words failed him.  Between her kiss and her cheek beneath his hand, he could not help himself and he leaned into her himself.  But it was not her cheek he kissed, it was her lips.  It was a light and gentle and brief kiss and when he pulled back, he kept his face close to hers.  "I don't know why, but I feel extremely comfortable around you.  More than I can remember.  You are one unique and amazing woman."
 

Re: DAY 01: A Quiet Chat [2100 Hrs]

Reply #17 –
[ Heather McMillan |  XO's Quarters | Deck 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: Carrigan Trent

[Show/Hide]


She took his aspect, by feeling, more than sight when she kissed him. And when he reached out to touch her cheek, she allowed him. Her eyes were closed, so that despite the mechanical aspect, she only felt warmth, her skin gently glowing brighter where his thumb touched, and the shining tear flowed over the surface, sparkling away.

But his response after caught her by surprise. She knew she liked the man, considering how quickly she had begun to open up to him, and rather unlike how it was with Simon Tovarek, Trent made her feel welcome, comfortable. Still, when she felt his lips touching hers, she couldn't help but let out a muffled squeak. And her entire aura shifted into a furious flushed red.

She opened her eyes to look at him, and after the initial shock had worn off, her glow returned to its original warm colour. And she smiled at him.

"Likewise, Carrigan," said McMillan, "I like being around you."

She boldly moved her hands to hold the mechanical hand of Trent's, looking into his eyes, with an open and honest expression. As long as he wanted, she thought, she'd stay and keep him company.
 
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