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Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

[ Lt. Zelosa Ejek | Counseling Office | USS Theurgy ] @Doc M.

The first day of ‘vacation’ did not feel like the a vacation. Already she’d had appointments back to back starting since first shift this morning. She’d done so many suicide assessments and trauma inventories and fear hierarchies. She hadn’t yet sickened herself with the amount of evaluation she’d done. She was actually thankful for the handful of clients who came in simply because they wanted their shore leave request bumped up sooner. All they wanted was some sunshine and peace. She was happy to give it to them too, and spend the rest of the session either having a nice chat or alone catching up on treatment planning after they had left early.

As she reviewed the schedule on her PADD, she saw many clients in need of urgent appointments and the whole counseling department struggling to keep up. It would be a long day she decided. If this department were to perform at the excellent standard she envisioned for it, then everyone, including herself, would be pulling double shifts today. This would likely be a trend for quite some time. She sighed. One session at a time is how she’d take today.

The next session was with one Tessa May Lance of the Lone Wolf Squadron. No former counseling records that she could see, no disciplinary records…First visit. There was about a fifty-fifty chance she was coming to have her leave bumped forward a few days, and the other fifty percent chance is that she suffered trauma and needs to cope. She was due in a few minutes.

So there were things to do. Trauma-informed workbook to load, Tessa’s Intake form to read over…and when that was done, she had just a minute left. So Ejek centered herself. Her room was silent. She sat at her desk, positioned behind two comfortable armchairs sitting side by side, at a slight angle. As if they were meant for a friendly chat. She sat at her desk with her head bowed, her eyes closed. Silence, breathing…peace.

Chime~

She stood up and walked to the door. It slid open and she greeted her client with her usual warm smile.
“Good afternoon. I’m Counselor Ejek. Welcome to my temporary office. Please, take a seat wherever you like, and don’t mind the bland decor.”

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #1 –
[ Tessa May Lance[color] | Counseling Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife

The woman who walked in was a Terran woman, only a few centimeters taller and about the same age as the Cardassian counselor.  Lieutenant (junior grade) Tessa May Lance’s ancestors obviously hailed from one of the poles of their home planet, if her pale pinkish white skin was any indication.  Like Zelosa, she was blessed with high cheekbones, symmetrical features, and a slender but curvaceous figure that was considered attractive to the vast majority of anthropomorphic species in the galaxy. 

Lieutenant Lance was wearing a Starfleet uniform with a grey collar, indicating that she was part of the Tactical CONN department that the Fleet had instituted after the Dominion War had demonstrated the effectiveness of the warp capable fighter craft in modern warfare.  Tessa Lance was in fact a fighter pilot with the callsign ‘Goldeneye’, a nickname no doubt bestowed on her because of the topaz yellow irises of her eyes.

Tessa Lance either came with a gift or was making an attempt to speed up Zelosa’s diagnosis, for she came in clutching a url=https://uss-theurgy.com/w/index.php?title=File:Captain_bear.jpg]plush toy[/url] the size of a human newborn that was wearing a facsimile of a red collared Starfleet uniform.  The way she held the soft toy against her chest indicated the latter.  When she spoke her voice was high pitched and sounded somewhat immature.

“Um, hi, Counselor.  I’m Tessa Lance,” she burbled as she extended her hand.  “You have no idea how hard it’s been to get a counseling appointment on this ship. We usually have only one counselor at a time but after everything that’s happened literally everyone needs counseling on this ship!  I had been waiting for my appointment with Counselor O’Conner for like forever, and then I heard that she died!  Isn’t that horrible?  You wouldn’t think a counseling position would be a risky position on this ship!  The same thing happened to Counselor Nelis and he died too!  I was supposed to see Counselor B’Nila, and I heard she didn’t survive the battle against the Borg!  I'm sure glad we still got you!”

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #2 –
[ Lt. Zelosa Ejek | Counseling Office | USS Theurgy ] @Doc M.

Her first impression made her regret not taking play therapy courses in her counseling education. Then she remembered this individual was about her age. Play therapy would be an incredibly inappropriate modality, probably. As she eyed the bear in her hands, and listened to her speech, she questioned that…
“I am glad that we still have me too. Come in, come in.” She gestured for the woman to come sit down. Woman, what a strange choice to describe her. Perhaps her trauma was so severe that she had taken to acting like a child once more as a defense mechanism. Or maybe the Federation had questionable choice in officers.

“I’m sorry that getting an appointment in counseling has been so difficult for you. It seems as if your story is not unique. It is my hope that under new leadership, the counseling department will live long enough to fulfill appointments.”She spoke as she took her place in whichever seat Tessa did not take. She was not picky--she hadn’t set out her own personal taste in furniture yet, so there was nothing for her to prefer.

“If I may ask, what brought you in to see me today?”

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #3 –
[ Tessa May Lance | Counseling Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife

“Golly, where do I begin?” Tessa sat down and sucked on her forefinger.  “This whole thing has been just crazy, not at all what I expected when I signed up.  Starfleet used to stand for open-mindedness and integrity, but now everything’s so topsy-turvey!  Ever since I was promoted, it’s like the whole galaxy has gone crazy!  Starfleet Command being possessed by parasites, shipmates being possessed and raping each other, Starfleet officers going crazy and brainwashing everybody in sight to be just as crazy as they are, and then a bunch of nuts going around attacking people just because they can’t take it anymore!” 

As Tessa continued, she became even more animated and her voice more passionate.  The gates had been opened and the flood was pouring out.  “And sometimes it seems like the entire galaxy has declared war on us!  And we’re all alone because every other ship in the fleet thinks we’re pirates and are working for the enemy!  We are so outnumbered!  And outgunned!  Oh my gosh, are we outgunned!  Our squadron has had to go out and battle fighters from the future, aliens that’re centuries ahead of us technologically, and the Borg!  If I wrote back to my folks, they wouldn’t believe what happened!  Not that I can write back to them in the first place. We’ve been under wartime conditions for months now, but we’ve got it even worse because no point do you get to go on shore leave and visit home!  We don’t even get letters or care packages from our loved ones!  I used to write to my family every week but now I might as well call my letters my diary, because they’ll never get to see ‘em and if I somehow do make contact with my family the Big Scary Conspiracy will make them all die in a tragic accident or something! 

Tessa paused to take a deep breath.  ”And that’s not including the losses we’ve taken!  Oh my gosh, the losses we’ve taken…” she muttered melodramatically.  ”You would not believe the casualties we’ve taken, the permanent casualties!  I can’t tell you how many friends and shipmates we’ve lost since we started this trip!  Do you know what it’s like to see one of your close friends shoot and kill another one of your close friends?  Or how it feels to have to go out into the black and have only half of your squadron come back!  You have no/i] idea... ”  Suddenly she choked and sputtered before momentarily falling silent.

Tessa had chosen that moment in her rant to look Counselor Ejek in the eye.  The entire time she had been staring out into space, rolling her topaz yellow eyes to glance at the ceiling, or hugging herself and closing her eyes as she recalled every painful memory since the dreadful truth of the unspeakable horror that had taken over Starfleet was revealed almost five months ago. 

Only when looking, really looking at Zelosa did it finally register to Tessa that she was speaking to a Cardassian, someone who was very likely a woman who was accustomed to her people being in the wrong and who had likely fled the Cardassian Union joined Starfleet in a doomed attempt to be on the side of a union she could believe in.  If anybody knew about stress, terror, alienation, and disillusionment it would a Cardassian who had joined Starfleet.  How many loved ones had Counselor Ejek lost during the war?  As far as Tessa knew, all of her own relatives were safe and healthy.  The counselor had probably severed all contact with her family years ago.  Compared to Zelosa, Tessa had it easy.

”You… you do understand what I’m talking about don’t you?  I’ve only had to endure this for a few months but you must have had to go through something like this for years!  And now you have to listen to some spoiled, pampered, little baby who can’t take it!  Oh I feel so sorry for you!  So sorry for you!” she exclaimed as tears trickled out of her eyes and she started weeping.

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #4 –
[ Lt. Zelosa Ejek | Counseling Office | USS Theurgy ] @Doc M.

Was she counseling an adult? Surely, she had to be. So much of her speech was patterned as if she were an adult trying to be a child, rather than an actual child. She was too intelligent to be a child. Still, Ejek had to wonder, did this woman have any shame at all? Did she not feel self conscious speaking like this? Or was she truly so traumatized that she regressed, and nothing about her behavior seemed untoward? Well, if that were the case, Tessa would have been referred by a superior or a peer, rather than taking responsibility to make her own appointment. Was she naturally just like this? Ejek hoped not.

Still, she had work to do. She put her initial judgement aside. It held no clinical value, and she was doing clinical work here. It was peculiar to hear the entire story of the Theurgy, again. She’d been hearing versions of it all day. Tessa’s was just one more version. Tessa did not look Ejek in the eyes at all during her talk. This wasn’t too unusual. Zelosa Ejek was used to one of two things. People would not look at her eyes because she was Cardassian, and that made them nervous, or they would not look at her eyes because they were too busy staring at her breasts. She was thankful that in Tessa’s case, it was the former.

Suddenly though, she did meet her eyes. The counselor held her gaze in silence for a few moments. It was intentional; she wanted to see what Tessa would do. Naturally, the girl broke the silence first. She responded with guilt. An interesting reaction, a break away from the childish ranting she came in with. When Ejek spoke, her voice was calming, steady. Motherly, she liked to think.

“Did you come into counseling today to feel sorry for me? If that’s the case, you’re welcome to sit in my chair and pity me, but you’ll likely find yourself dry of tears before I shed one. Tessa, if I may use your first name,” She paused, to allow herself to be corrected. Her face was one of bemusement. Although she did experience pain in her years in hell sector, she had long learned to master the art of the poker face. And damn, was she good at it.

“What you have gone through and what I have gone through are both traumatic, yes, but I am not in the business of weighing traumas to determine which is more deserving of empathy than the other. It’s clear you are hurting. I would like to hear you first. Maybe if we have time at the end of the session, we’ll talk about mine.”

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #5 –
[ Tessa May Lance[color] | Counseling Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife

“Oh yes, yes, sorry,” Tessa stammered as she hugged her Starfleet uniformed plush toy and her knees and rocked self-consciously on the edge of the divan.  “I mean, we all got problems; I didn’t mean to drag yours into this.  It’s just that there’s no one to talk to, no one who isn’t too close to this.  I mean, what’s the use reminding my shipmates of our worries when all it will do is destroy morale?  I look into the faces of my squadmates and I can see all the different ways they’re using to hold it together, and I don’t want to be the wet blanket who gets them all down.  There’s no point crying about it because we’re all in the same boat, but it’s rough.  I mean, I really believed in Starfleet, y’know?  I can’t believe this is happening to us.  I mean, this is nothing like holonovels about Captain Kirk and the Enterprise.  Remember the good old days?  Back when Starfleet was about exploring brave new worlds?  How come it isn't like that anymore?  When did everything get so nasty?”

“I suppose you’ve noticed my little friend here,” Tessa added as she turned her plush bear in Ejek’s direction and wiggled it.  “This little guy has got me through some hard times.  My sister gave me this when I enrolled in Starfleet Academy.  I call him 'the Captain.'  Cute, huh?”

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #6 –
[ Lt. Zelosa Ejek | Counseling Office | USS Theurgy ] @Doc M.

Now they were starting to get somewhere. She was expressing a need to just talk about her concerns without having to weigh anyone down. What a wonderfully simple request! If that was all Tessa needed, then Ejek would have her sessions from here on out in the bag, and the paperwork would take less than five minutes to fill out. Purpose of visit: needs to talk. Done.

So Ejek listened. She leaned in and watched Tessa close and listened to her talk. She was starting down a good path, and the Cardassian had a few choice replies ready to go when suddenly the young pilot swerved. Rather than go deeper, she went off topic. She brought up her stuffed animal. Ah, so that’s why she was carrying it around. It was a safety toy, yes, but also a defense. Ejek’s goal adjusted--Tessa needed to talk, but needed to do so at her own pace.

“I noticed the toy, yes.” She commented, without a hint of the disdain she actually felt. Yes, it was childish, but it was a tool too. She could use it as a baseline to return to when Tessa became too anxious to continue, and a springboard to start into deeper topics. “It sounds like you’ve got a lot of heavy thoughts that you’re afraid to share with others. Does ‘The Captain’ listen when you need to talk about them? What sorts of things does he hear?”
 

Re: Day 01 [1500 hrs.] The Next Chapter

Reply #7 –
[ Tessa May Lance[color] | Counseling Office | Main Sickbay | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife

“Well, yes he’s a good listener,” Tessa giggled bashfully, “but he doesn’t offer advice unless he’s on the holodeck, not that I take advice from a holodeck character!” she corrected herself as she let go of her teddy bear and held her hands out before her in a halting gesture.  “Well maybe sometimes I do,” she admitted in a quiet voice that would have been appropriate for a small child.  “Like I said, it’s been hard to schedule counseling sessions lately so I had to get creative,” Tessa blushed as she hugged her plush toy and brought her knees up so that she was nearly sitting in a fetal position.  “The Captain’s a real trooper, he’s patriotic, and a bit stuffy; I guess you could say that I programmed his holodeck simulation to be my morality and common sense.  I got other plush animals and other holodeck characters to represent them.  Froggy is represents my sloth.  He’s kind of green blobby thing that looks kind of like a frog.  He’s really huggable, even more huggable than the Captain here.  And Uni the unicorn represents childish innocence.  I guess between my stuffed animals and the holodeck I’ve made a Greek chorus of plush,” she giggled again before sobering.

“But you were asking about the kinds of things I talk to them about didn’t you?” Tessa asked hesitantly.  “Well I share my fears and my insecurities, and um… boy trouble and other things kind of like the kind of things we’re talking about right now…” she burbled as her voice became so quiet that Ejek had to strain to hear her, “but now that we've got more counselors I won't need him so much will I?” she asked with a hopeful smile.

Ejek smiled ruefully back.  It was going to be a long day.

~FIN
 
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