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Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

[ Dyan Cardamone | Personal Quarters | U.S.S. Theurgy ]Attn: @Arista

Sar-unga's eyes snapped open, her pupils little pinpoints piercing through the ceiling. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and her breathing was so quick she thought she had just got back from a marathon. But no, she was in her bed, tangled in blankets. She pushed herself up, sitting slouched as she rubbed the last of her nightmares from her eyes. It had taken her so long to fall asleep last night, and after she finally drifted off he slept for far too long. She really felt it this morning.

There were a few things different this morning, she tried to remember back to last night. She had a roommate now, she seemed to be the least judgemental roomie she could've asked for. That's a bonus. Oh, and she's fatherless and brotherless now. That's definitely not a bonus.

Did she really have to go to work today?

Of course she did. Security would need her, what with all these newbies running around aboard the ship. Somebody had to teach them how we did things around here. But more honestly, she thinks if she spent another hour moping, she'll implode. The grief is stifling after a while. She stumbled out of bed, her shoulders heavy and her eyes barely open, and gathered up her uniform so she could start her shift today. She felt sickened that she had to wear it, but she was just going through the motions, really. It didn't have to be sincere. Sonic shower, brush hair, polish scales, get dressed, figure out where she left her damn shoes again--under the bed, of course--and get ready to march out the door.

But she caught sight of herself in the mirror and thought "Hell, is that really me? I look awful." So she stopped herself a moment and retreated to her bathroom to put on some makeup, cover up those massive bags under her eyes, try and make herself look less wretched. She was a petty officer, dammit, not a bog witch.

She stared at her dead expression in the mirror and had to sigh. She wasn't done with her makeup, but she knew even with makeup, she wouldn't look like she should. Her fingers went to her hair, her horns. There was grey mixed with the silver, she was sure of it. Her eyes looked sunken in, despite all the extra hours of sleep she got and the caked-on foundation she was working with. Was this permanent? Would she ever be normal again...?

[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Offices | U.S.S. Theurgy ]

The back entrance felt like the best way to sneak into security's offices without being seen by everyone, and all she wanted was not to be made a spectacle. She really, really resented herself for having screamed and caused a scene when she did--she'd much rather nobody knew what had just happened. Any pitiful looks directed her way were met with heated glares, and in her book, 'pitiful looks' was a rather broad category.

First thing she'd do is make a beeline to her lockers, trying to avoid looking right at the gym. Memories were still locked up in that gym, she'd rather leave them there. She hoped digging into her locker would be uneventful. Let her have a quiet, yet busy shift...

Re: Chapter 36: Just Checking In | Day 02 [1400 hrs.]

Reply #1 –
[ Lt Cmdr. Wenn Cinn | Security Centre | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow 

[Show/Hide]

“Good to have you back…” Wenn Cinn commented from the doorway. He hadn’t been there long, earlier he had asked Thea to report when Cardamone had entered the security complex and as ever, the computer had dutifully filled his request. With all that was going on the burly Bajoran attempted to be as casual and upbeat as he could, which by other standards wasn’t much.

“Now, as much as I know you don’t want to hear it. Starfleet protocol dictates that follow the loss of family members. Department heads or line managers should conduct a return to work interview.” Before she could even come back with a reply, Cinn help up his hands in mock defeat. “I’m sure you don’t have a desire to sit in my office while I ask how you’re doing.” Cinn could remember back to the loss of his family. The raw emotions burning through his veins, while he was glad he didn’t have to deal with a boss and the bureaucracy of the Federation. He would have preferred it over the to the fact that his only way to deal with the outlet of feelings was to fight in the occupation.

“My options are simple. Either we take this meeting in the gym with a bit of sparring or some shooting on the phaser range. What do you think?”

Re: Chapter 36: Just Checking In | Day 02 [1400 hrs.]

Reply #2 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security offices | U.S.S. Theurgy ]Attn: @Arista

She thought she heard someone coming, but she didn't pay it mind. Of course someone was walking around, it was the lockers, people came and went all the time. She popped hers open and buried her face in there, agressively searching for her things as if she could not find them (she could, easily, its a locker not a storage room). Her surprise to hear Wenn cinn's voice was mercifully concealed. She let him talk, remaining still to offer her full attention. He was a man to be respected.

But a 'return to work interview'? What sort of utter tribble shit was that? She had to be interviewed to keep her spot? Did he think she was weak, broken? But no, she cooled as she listened further. She saw he only followed protocol and offered two much more suitable choices.

She pulled her head out of her locker, her temper now having cooled to an acceptable simmer, and faced Wenn Cinn.
"I...appreciate your understanding. I'd be honored to fight against you." She offered a smile. She was not the great warrior she saw Cinn to be, so she would surely lose, but to lose against a greater opponent is the best learning opportunity life had to offer. She reached in and grabbed a wadded up bundle of cleaned, but not folded gym clothes and shook out the multitude of wrinkles.

 She did not feel much like smiling, but she did feel releif. Why on earth would it make sense to interrogate someone after they experience death? Is death not a universal constant, do Bajorans think people just keep living somewhere after death...?

That'd be nice. Knowing her people didn't doe, just moved elsewhwre--that would be a comforting thing to believe.
"See you at the gym in five?"

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #3 –
[ Lt Cmdr. Wenn Cinn | Security Centre | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow 

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“Aye.” Cinn replied. The gym was an excellent choice, probably the best for both of them. There was a lot of worked up emotions that Cinn needed to get out. With nothing left to say, Wenn Cinn returned to his office to change. He stripped quickly and efficiently, laying out his uniform for when he returned. He could feel the cool breeze of the air against his dark skin, and for a small moment he relished in it.

Wenn Cinn couldn’t help but give a small chuckle to himself. If someone were to come into his office at that moment, they would have found him there, stood silently in his underwear. With no desire fight Cardamone in such an outfit, Cinn grabbed his standard Federation workout garb from a small drawer in his private bathroom and dressed quickly. The vest and shorts were tight, but not so to restrict his movement, only to ensure there was no real way to grab him from the clothes he wore. They didn’t particularly leave much to the imagination though.

With haste Cinn headed to the gym. He didn’t want to get caught by anyone choosing to visit the security centre at that time. Once he arrived, he began to wrap his hands. All he knew, the passion and fire he had seen from Cardamone, Cinn was going to a great fight. He just hoped it enough to get her back on her feet.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #4 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security offices | U.S.S. Theurgy ]Attn: @Arista

Cinn left her alone with her thoughts. Functionally, that meant silence inside and out. There wasn't much to think about really. Wenn Cinn could probably hand her ass back to her on a silver platter, and she had come to terms and found peace with this fact long before the battle of the Starbase. Additionally, something about the exchange had completely eliminated the simmering temper she had earlier. It just vanished as soon as the understanding that she was going to battle set in. Very convenient!
So with her new temporary quiet, she began to switch into her clothes. Some tight shorts, a shirt that hugged her body, nothing flashy. She had tape somewhere down in this mess of stuff she called a locker. All she could find was a pair of gloves strapped together though, so she took those. Now she headed to the ladies' room to change, and then from the ladies' room to the gym.

Wenn Cinn was faster than she. When she arrived in the gym, he was already there. Perhaps he was just that eager to fight? Wait wait—She stopped as her brain worked to process a realization. It dawned on her that maybe, it wasn't she who needed a battle, it was him. She only peripherally aware of the fact, but she was at least somewhat aware that she was not the only one who suffered.

Her eyes widened as she came back to reality, and whoops, she had been staring at her boss's musculature this entire time. He was built like he was a fortress that hid inside himself yet another fortress, for extra strength. That made no sense. She just wanted to touch all that rippling meat to see if it was actually real or not. Thankfully, her hands had went through the business of putting the gloves on without her brain's help, so it didn't look like gawking, probably. Hopefully he brushed it off as tired staring into space.

“So...” She mumbled, but cleared her throat. She had to make some kind of small talk to distract from the fact she was staring. “So uh. I'm not that great at the whole pre-spar chatting thing. Any ground rules you wanna lay out before we start?”

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #5 –
[ Lt Cmdr. Wenn Cinn | Security Centre | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow 

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Slowly, carefully and deliberately, Cinn wrapped the tape around his hands. Inside, he was a mix of emotions. Besides the obvious concern that he felt for Cardamone, there was the sympathy and empathy for her struggles. He recalled how she had joyously shouted the names of family as they arrived into the battle, and the blood curdling scream as she realized they were being killed. He hoped that some had survived, if only for that fact that he felt no one should have to be like him. Cinn had no living family, all had been lost during the occupation. 

Alongside the somber feelings for his colleague. He was also preoccupied by thought of Edena. He didn’t like the idea of her alone in the morgue. Cinn realized he didn’t know any trill death rites, if they even had any. If there was a ceremony, would anyone even come? This was something he resolved himself to research later. For now, he had hoped that one of the medical staff had dressed her in white. She always looked good in white.

Even with all the depressing thoughts running through his mind, there was still slight excitement. Cinn was yet to spar this with his officer, and it was always interesting to learn the tricks and mannerisms they used. Ida still provided some of the best competition and Cinn knew it was only a matter of time before she regularly thrashed him. Perhaps he would learn some new things to throw the Andorian off her game? 

Cinn was so pre-occupied that he hadn’t even noticed that Dyan had arrived or that she was staring, at least, until she spoke. Looking up, the large Bajoran smiled towards his colleague. Hoping that she hadn’t been watching him for long. Her nervousness about this whole situation was slightly unexpected and alongside her small knit in her brow, it gave her a cute demeanor that Cinn hadn’t anticipated.

“Rules are simple enough. If you find yourself hurt or pinned uncomfortably, tap or speak out. I’ll do the same.” Cinn started. He wasn’t sure how Cardamone was going to fight, whether traditional boxing, wrestling or some form of martial art. Either way, he tried to accommodate accordingly. “While you should give this sparring as much effort as you want, I do expect you to answer my questions as this still counts as a meeting. If you have things you need to raise, or want to know. Feel free to bring them up. Otherwise, enjoy yourself.” While he spoke, Cinn took time to bring an arm across his chest and then pull on it with the opposite hand. He then did the reverse to finalize his stretching. As he reached the end of his specific rules, he felt suitably limber to begin.

“You ready?” Cinn asked, raising his arms into a protective stance. All things considered, he was quite looking forward to this. He watched the Asurian before him carefully. As soon as she would give indication, any inclination it was time, he would begin.

In a blink, it was time. Quickly, Cinn stepped forward, leaning towards the right. He threw the first punch, a slow but strong swing from the right. It was a predictable move, but good to begin. He assumed Cardamone would block it, but if she didn’t, the impact to her ribs would certainly wake her up.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #6 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Gym | U.S.S. Theurgy ]Attn: @Arista

She had been so lost in her own thoughts (and in Wenn Cinn's rippling muscles) that she forgot to stretch. It was only when Cinn started stretching that she remembered to do so herself. She stretched out her legs, trying to act cool and casual about it. But there's no hiding the fact, she's up against Wenn Cinn. There's a slim chance of winning if the boss gives it his all.

Her tail peeked out over the top of her workout shorts, and until now it had been swishing low to the ground. She wrapped it around her left leg, it swirled down her thigh and her knee and calf. She'd look like a fool if they had to stop the fight because he stepped on her tail.

He said something about asking her questions, during a fight of all things. This is one messed up, weird meeting, but she'd take this over a stuffy interview in a chair any day. So she stood with her legs apart, hands open and in front of her. She was ready.

Cinn started with a right swing, and right away, something in her woke up. It felt like she saw clearer, she heard better. She wasn't drowning in her thoughts anymore because there was nothing to think. She turned away from the hit, and grabbed his arm. Using his momentum, she decided she was going to roll him over her shoulder and throw him on the ground. A judo move, something the humans came up with, and it had similar analogues in Asurian martial arts. She was smaller than her boss, not exactly built like a bulldozer, but she knew how to make up for it.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #7 –
[ Lt Cmdr. Wenn Cinn | Security Centre | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @FollowTomorrow 
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When the Asurian moved to use his weight against him, to throw him across her hip, Cinn had the choice of either fighting the built momentum or to use it. He opted the latter, even if he believed he could have prevented the throw from being made since he had not truly committed himself to his very first swing in the fight.

So, he rolled with the throw, and came back on his feet quickly enough. The only damage was that his feet knocked over a stand that held dumbbells, making them thud and roll across the floor. He was already facing her, guard raised, and he circled her as he asked the first question.

"Have you seen a counsellor and talked about your loss?" he asked, shifting his steps so that his left side was turned towards her. "If you have not, when will you do so?"

Having said this, he moved in once more, throwing her a combination - left, right straight jabs followed by a heavy side-kick with his rear, right leg.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #8 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

The thumping of dumbbells on the floor was satisfying. Like drums, but more disorganized. If she could tear this whole room apart using Wenn Cinn as a weapon, she thinks she'd be satisfied. It wouldn't really happen and she knew that, these walls were far too strong for her to damage with her bare hands and a body. It was the taste of disorder she craved.

Wenn Cinn circled, Dyan watched him, keeping her front to his. Her tail was wrapped around her leg, but it was hard to contain the spasms that would normally lead to her tail whipping about like a feral beast. The worst part was when he talked, trying to keep her off guard. She didn't get the chance to reply, he moved in for some hits.

She blocked the punches, those were easy. She redirected both hits by pushing his arm away with her own arm. If she had a sindt on her, this would've cost the man his hands. Basic training. Baby stuff. It was the kick she wasn't so ready for. His legs were longer than his, and she shorter than him. It would be easy for her to duck down and deliver a serious blow to his baby factories, but the Feds don't like dirty fighters.

So she grabbed his leg before it hit her, her hesitation meant it was inches away from her body, but it didn't hit yet.

“Don't talk to me about those, they're scams and you know it.” She hissed out under her breath. She despised counselors. They were utterly useless. “Their main job on any Federation ship is propaganda. If I want propaganda, then I'll see one.” She bared her teeth in her grimace. Her people do not have counselors, their understanding of psychology is minimal. Their species has not yet produced a Freud, let alone a Pavlov, Bandura, or Maslow yet.

Her anger was evident in her grip of Cinn's leg, she pulled him towards her if she could, and if she couldn't she'd pull herself towards him, reaching for his hair to force him to headbutt her—in the horns.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #9 –
[Lt. Commander Wenn Cinn | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy] @FollowTomorrow

It was a gutsy move, yanking on his leg like that to get his hair within reach, but here’s where instinct falls apart: Dyan’s opponent kept his hair shorn close to his scalp to make such a move  useless.  For a moment, Cinn thought about answering with a headbutt, but that was quickly dismissed as this was a spar, not a brawl, not to mention if she turned either of thos horns in the way the results would be ugly.

Hopping forward once with his left foot, Cinn kicked his right leg up, hoping to wrench it out of her grasp, simultaneously dropping to the mat with a smaller hop.  Kicking his left out, as soon as he was lower than the Asuran’s knee he’d sweep his left leg through both of hers, assuming her grip on his right leg didn’t drag her down with him.  Either way, they’d both be on the mat.

Hitting the padded surface with a loud thud thanks to his mass, the Bajoran quickly rolled out of the way, expecting his subordinate to use her lower mass and greater agility to lunge for a pin.  “What about friends?  Compatriots?  Coworkers?  Anyone?”  He knew what’d happened to Dyan in the recent past, her losses at the starbase were just the latest in a long line of traumas, and he couldn’t recall her ever talking with anyone about any of it, at least not on the record.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #10 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

She realized far too late that she was grabbing for hair that didn't exist. That was a stupid move of her, not like her at all. Who did she think she was fighting here?

Before she had a chance to get a grip on herself they were both on the mat. It sounded like a massive thud, punctuated by a lighter smack as the Asurian released the Bajoran's leg, so she could use her limbs to lessen her impact on the mat. She knew how to fall.
“Do you think I'm that weak?” She turned to look, no, glare at him, the way wild animals do. She was pushing herself up as she spoke, so he could hear her loud and clear. “You think I need to dump all my problems in the laps of other people just to get by? Is that how you think of me?”

In all of Dyan's service in the Theurgy, she has never had a 'go home' setting. It was always go big. She could've pinned him, but somehow that made her think of things she did not want to. The the smell of sweat and Klingon musk, being surrounded—they weren't actually there of course, but in the heat of battle, she smelt them.

There wasn't much space between them to close, so she did not jump like she normally would. Instead, she lunged at him, throwing her relatively tiny weight at him in the form of her elbow, trying to connect with his gut.

As emotional as she was, she was fighting just as she always had, with her all. Even if her all wasn't very graceful or polite.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #11 –
[Lt. Commander Wenn Cinn | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy] @FollowTomorrow

Rolling up onto one knee, Cinn caught the flying elbow centimeters from his midsection, his muscles straining to arrest her motion without folding Dyan’s arm in half.  It was a good thing there wasn’t much distance for the Asuran to gain some serious momentum, any more and it would’ve taken all of his mass to stop her in time. As it were, both hands gripped her arm above and below the elbow, leaving his head vulnerable if she got her feet under her.

Adrenaline coursing through his veins, time started to slow a bit for the Bajoran, subtle details that are normally missed in the alacritous chaos of combat coming to light.  Caked on make-up obscured her fair skin, making it a touch harder to read, but it couldn’t hide the twitching musculature underneath.  Silver hair slightly dull from a lack of proper care accented by sharp horns framed a face gaunt from grief and pain.  The eyes were as sharp as ever now, the earlier lack of focus long gone, locked onto a target that could easily suffer from everything an Asuran warrior can throw.  But it was her nose that gave Cinn his first hint that his plan might be working.  Twitching in response to something, something told the old Resistance fighter that he might be breaking through.

“That depends!” He taunted, pushing Cardamone back before jumping back to both feet.  Staying low in a half crouch, dark, meaty arms moved to cover his front, low enough to not block his vision but not too low to keep his head defenseless.  “You have no problem throwing yourself into others’ laps, so what’s wrong? Are you afraid?”

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #12 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

Her elbow was halted, it would've been a hell of a blow if Cinn wasn't quick enough. She moved with the agility more befitting of a powerhouse than the lithe female she really was. She didn't get her feet under her in time to pierce Cinn's head with her horns, though she badly wanted to. In her mind, it was...someone. Ives, Trent, the attacker whose name she wouldn't even think of in her own mind, she didn't know yet. She couldn't choose.

His words pierced her hallucination like light through darkness. She snapped onto his voice and listened, teeth bared. As he spoke, she cut his last few words off with a screech. It wasn't one of agony or pain, it was meant to startle. A war cry that resembled a banshee, as she steadied herself and rose up to her full, not-so-great height. She intended to attack, at first.
"This isn't a fight!" She declared, the moment her war cry had ended. This thought only occurred to her as she spoke it. Her stance became less aggressive, as it dawned on her. This was never a fight. She should've never agreed to be here.
“You're just here to force me back inside my head!” She still had adrenaline running through her body, every muscle quivered, begging to be used. Fight him or flee. She used the time to start circling him, an effort to intimidate him. The images of all those people she hated so much, they weren't as solid as they should be. None of them quite fit the man in front of her. Every hit she made on those images, it just didn't feel as good as it should.
“You want me to relive all this shit! For what, so you can go back to your little office and comfort yourself, thinking you've fixed me?! I thought you were on my side! I thought you'd get it!” A part of her really, really wanted to just sock Cinn in the face. It'd feel so good right now. Or maybe just an honest-to-god spar, something to take her mind off things. Not put it back on things.
“You were supposed to be on my side!” She screeched again, it bounced off the walls. She liked hurting her own eardrums that way. “You're not supposed to get off on hurting me!”
OOC: I cannot believe I forgot about this thread 8I go ahead and boop me if I don't respond right away, discord or here on the forum or whatever. Please nag!!! I even had a post written and everything, I just never posted orz

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #13 –
[Lt. Commander Wenn Cinn | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy] attn: @FollowTomorrow

The sudden screech hammered Cinn’s eardrums just as badly as if someone had boxed his ears, throwing him completely off of his game.  Instead of blocking he clapped his hands over his ears, head reeling from the auditory assault.  Even after the Prophet-forsaken shrieking ceased his ears were ringing so badly it felt odd that his earring wasn’t vibrating.  Between the ringing and the meaty earmuffs, he didn’t hear Dyan’s declarations at first.

Watching her stance, Cinn was confused when she suddenly shifted into a nervous pace.  Recovering from the earlier sound he let go of his ears and resumed a more guarded stance, keeping his front to Dyan as she circled around him.  His ears were still ringing, muffling what she was trying to say, but it was pretty apparent what was going on.  Instead of helping, trying to get her to open up so that she can deal with her emotions, it looked like she was getting lost in them, lashing out at the first available target, which was him.  She was shaking like a reed in the wind, muscles barely under control as conflicting instincts had to be wreaking havoc in her subconscious.  With every shouted line, Cinn’s heart fell, the realization of how badly he messed this up a burdening him more and more.  But it was too late, he was committed.

“I’m not trying to hurt you!” the Bajoran shouted back, wincing at the repeated screech.  Resuming his blocking stance, he braced for the onslaught.  “You’re supposed to be hurting me!  I care what happens to those under me, I need to know that you won’t lash out the moment some Devoted fool says the wrong thing to you.”  Following her prowling, he made sure to keep her in front, the last thing he needed was a horn in the back of the neck.  “In here, you can do what you want, to the bags, to the equipment, and for right now, to me.”

His left hand made the universal “come here” gesture, waving her on with his fingers.  “So?  What’re you waiting for?”

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #14 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

“You think this is going to work?!” She screamed, her emotions boiling over. She couldn't tell if she was seeing Wenn Cinn or Trent or Ives or her own damn mother in front of her. As far as she knew, she was communicating with a large formless shapeless blob.
“You think this'll fucking work?! You think I'll just beat the shit out of something and magically feel better?!”
She reared about, her tail pointed directly upwards. It was a sign that she meant to threaten Cinn, though the body language was likely lost in translation.
“You're just like everyone else on this rotting ship! You know nothing! Nobody knows a damn thing! Nobody gets it!”

She started to approach Cinn. She had her upper body leaned forward, shoulders out. If she were taller and larger, she'd be quite threatening.
“I live with your Federation's mistakes for the rest of my life.” She spat out the name as if it were made of dirt and she needed it out her mouth. “I will suffer for as long as I live because of you and your people. As far as I'm concerned, if I drop a Devoted, it's your fault. You made these choices.” She hissed. No, Wenn Cinn didn't make these choices, but he was a part of the Federation. That was enough association for her.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #15 –
[Lt. Commander Wenn Cinn | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy] @FollowTomorrow

Cinn frowned at Dyan’s newest outburst, and it grew deeper the longer she went.  Watching her body language, he tensed at how aggressive she was being, but for some reason she wouldn’t make a move against him.  His ears were getting the worst of this fight, now under a constant barrage as the Ausran was more apt to scream her lungs out instead of working out her frustrations physically.  The Bajoran couldn’t help but tense as she finally made a move, advancing on him, but her posture was more like a prey animal trying to make itself look more menacing than it really was.  And then she made the wrong statement, the one that he couldn’t ignore or pass off as sparring banter.

It was probably a dirty move, but considering the point he needed to get across, he went for it.  In response to her assignment of blame and expressing how much she doesn’t care anymore, his hand shot out of its block and grabbed onto her left horn.  Before she could reply or even scream, Cinn wrenched hard, kicking the same leg out to use as a fulcrum.  Between his size advantage and the leverage it was child’s play to throw Dyan to the mat.  Half a breath later he was on the mat as well, kneeling on one arm, leaning over her with one hand pressing her chest to the deck and ready to slip up to a choke if necessary, and holding the other arm down.

“Enough!” he growled, face twisting into a snarl.  “I’ve been where you are, know what you’re feeling.  I saw Cardassians rape my world, kill my family simply because they could.  I had to live to fight every day for years, first to rescue my mother, then to get my revenge on every Cardassian I could get my hands on after they killed her.  If you want to blame the Federation for what happened at the Starbase then fine, that’s your choice.” Cinn leaned closer, his dark face filling her field of vision.  “But know this: if you want to continue serving on my security detail you have to follow my rules, and rule number one is no. Needless. Killing.”

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #16 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

Dyan found herself on the mat, a dull throbbing in her head from the horn-yanking. It'd go away quickly, but for now, it served to anchor her to the real world instead of the world of her memories and illusions. She could see the mat she fell on, the wall, her perspective looking much like a camera dropped on the floor. Her tail whipped the mat in her anger, she was held down. Part of her prepared herself to be raped yet again. Though she think if it happened, she'd kill herself.

He spoke, as if he knew what it was like. He didn't though. Nobody did, because nobody else was her. Cinn wasn't sexually assaulted, Cinn didn't know what it was like to lose all his family in one fell swoop and to watch it happen. He didn't know what it was like to have all these things happen because of an organization you thought you could trust, you thought you were a part of.

“And needless torture is allowed?” She snarled. She closed her legs and her tail ducked between them, but did not move otherwise, for her own safety. “Then do it, hold me down and make me relive it all. Why don't you just rape me again while you're up there, if you think this is going to fix me.”

All this time, she realized she had trusted Wenn Cinn too. She believed he was a good warrior, a good tactician. In effect, he was. After all, he was the one who had her pinned to the mat, not the other way around. But she slowly realized something. She couldn't trust him. Just like everyone else here, her own boss had failed her too.

and suddenly, on that mat, she felt so painfully, frighteningly alone.

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #17 –
[Lt. Commander Wenn Cinn | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy] attn: @FollowTomorrow

Watching Dyan’s eyes, Cinn could see the focus return, but there was more.  For a moment there was fear, something he’d never seen come from the warrior before.  Then came the burning rage.  She snarled like a beast, spitting her words into his face, bare centimeters in front of hers.  Normally he’d ignore it all, rantings of a trapped opponent unwilling to concede trying to distract him, but certain words smacked him right between the eyes, immediately bringing him out of his own aggression.

Looking down at her (completely exposing his head to her), the Bajoran saw her defensive pose, but not for combat.  She was completely closed up requiring someone with evil intent to put more work into their vile desires.  Between that and her lack of struggle, Cinn realized far too late that he had made a serious mistake.

Quickly removing his hand from Dyan’s chest and letting go of her arms he backed off with alacrity, shame only hidden by the pigment of his skin.  Kneeling on the mat a meter away, he debated on helping her up, but decided not to for the moment.  If she was picturing him as a potential rapist then who knows how’d she’d react at him standing over her. “Dyan…Sar-unga, I have no intention of doing such a thing to you, or to anyone else.  Torture, rape, fear, those are not Starfleet’s tools.”  

Watching the young woman, Cinn swallowed, the Adam’s Apple in his throat bouncing like a ball.  He hated having to do this next part, but there was no choice now.  “You may not want to visit councilors, but you need to find some way to work through your pain.  I’m sorry, but as of now you’re off active duty.  I can’t have someone in your state of mind out there.  If you were to lose control and lash out at someone, reasonable cause or not, it would have serious repercussions for everyone on this ship.”

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #18 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

Given all she'd been through, and that she was also still quite detached from reality right now, she expected the worst. She expected something to force her down and apart, that he'd force himself into her. She had already come up with wild plans to end him if he did, none of which would ever work in real life but allowed her to cling to the dwindling sense of control inside her.

After what felt like ages, the only thing that happened was weight coming off her chest, her arms released. She scrambled to her legs, remaining in a crouched position to mirror Wenn Cinn's kneeling one. Why was he kneeling, she wondered. What sort of intent did he have? It couldn't be good. Nobody had good intentions. Her tail remained tucked, out of habit it was attempting to curl around one leg.

When she heard his verdict, she understood. This was the ill-intent he harbored. Keeping her from working. She could tolerate getting her ass handed to her in a sparring match, she could work through the awful mood she was in right now, but taking away her job managed to shake her. She may not have taken her own psychosis seriously, but losing her job, that was big.
“This was your plan, then? Stir up shit and then keep me from working, force me to wade in it?” She bared her teeth, and they clicked when she talked. Among her own kind, the gesture meant 'back off, don't mess with me'. “You claim you don't endorse torture and then hand it out in the same breath. What do you even expect me to do in my time off, huh?”

Something inside her decided it didn't matter. She was losing her job and it didn't matter. She really, truly hated the growing apathy in her core. She had to get away from it. She started to understand that maybe...maybe this wasn't her home after all.

She stood up and backed off. It was rare for her to end the fight without being injured first, she still had bundles of energy and only a few bruises to show for it, but she had accepted this.
"Fine," Her voice felt like the bitter coffee drink that others sometimes drank, "Fine. But I've got a shift tomorrow that I can't miss."

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #19 –
[Lt. Commander Wenn Cinn | Security Center | Deck 07 | USS Theurgy] attn: @FollowTomorrow

Kneeling on the mat with his hands on his knees, Commander Wenn looked inwards to recenter himself.  Instead of a relaxing bout intended to force a subordinate to confront their inner demons and let off the pressure it became a nightmare of unceasing pain.  Dyan’s stature never improved as Cinn cooled down, while she did quickly jump back to her feet she remained defensive, closing up tight.  Her reaction was exactly what he was expecting, now that he knew her state of mind.

Listening to her rant, Cinn kept a calm face.  It probably wouldn’t do anything to help the situation, but maybe it could prevent it from spiraling completely out of control.  “This was never my intention Petty Officer.  I was hoping that you could open up to me, exorcize some demons, work up a sweat in the process.  You attended the Academy, you know that security officers have to keep a clear head.”  Her second line got a visible reaction out of the Bajoran.  His eyes narrowed, diverting some rivulets of sweat to trace new routes around his eyes instead of dripping in front of them.  “If you think what I’ve done is torture, then you know very little of what true torture is.  Live just a few months under Cardassian rule and you’ll start to understand.”  It took him a moment to bat down the demons of his own past, brutal memories trying to force their way up.

Continuing on, Cinn’s dark eyes watched Dyan as she stood and retreated.  He could see the subtle shakes in her limbs as her body stressed out from the emotional and physical traumas.  The sudden end to the spar couldn’t be helping either.  “I can’t tell you what to do with your time, that is entirely up to you.  I’d recommend meditation, of any form.  Or just tear your quarters apart to the bulkhead if you feel like it.”  When she mentioned the upcoming critical shift Cinn nodded.  “I’m aware of it.  You’re clear to take that one, I know who the assignment is from.  But other than that, spend your time on yourself, figure out your place.  Find your center Sar-unga.”

Re: Day 02 [1400 hrs.] Just Checking In

Reply #20 –
[ Dyan Cardamone | Security Center | Deck 07 ] Attn: @chXinya

She had too many thoughts in her head to hear Wenn Cinn all the way. It was sort of like hearing him through a thin wall in another room. Yes, she could hear his words, but he wasn't really there, was he? He was far removed from her mental state, far removed from her world. At the same time, could she really just pack her things and leave him behind?

Yes, I could She thought, and that was the end of that line of questioning.  She had a center once, and it was right here, on this ship. In the span of a few weeks, everyone has torn it apart from her. Her feet lead her around the room. She found her heart beating so hard in her chest it made her ribs ache. Her tail was tucked still, her body needed movement. She wouldn't find release here. She walked by a rack of weights and bent down to lift it up, and just toss the whole thing. She didn't care if it was heavy and hurt her arms, she forced her body to do this. The loud clanging, the mess on the floor, the chaos of it all fed some deep pain in her chest.

She was wandering towards the door with nothing more said, because she had nothing more to say. If she opened her mouth, she'd probably just scream and scream and scream until she had no voice, and then scream some more because her stupid velsren sac would fix her right up. When she found herself in front of the door, she gave it a good kick. It would open on it's own, regardless of the force applied to it. She knew that, but today it wasn't fast enough for her liking.

She stormed out the room. Even if Wenn Cinn called for her, she'd leave without heeding him. There was nothing left for her in this moment. What started out as a fun, exciting challenge by someone she looked up to ended in one less ally in her angry, bitter fight against the universe.

- FIN
 
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