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Day 03 [0800 hrs.] Truth by Untruth

[ Dr. Nicander | Main Sickbay > Counselor's Office | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @The Counselor
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Two nights had passed since the Battle of Starbase 84, and a lot had happened during the time when the crew from the Resolve and the Orcus integrated into the Theurgy's departments. Lucan had a few new medical officers, and he knew that the one he was about to pay a visit to had new counsellors that could help ease the burden placed on her department on a voyage such as theirs. He had made an appointment with her, not knowing if she suspected why he wanted to see her, but as it were, he could not postpone it further. The outbreak had already taken him away from following up on all the things that had happened during the battle, but now, on this second day, he would go to see Counselor Hayden O'Connor.

Garen Nelis successor, whom the parasite killed when they first fought the Calamity.

Dressed in his white medical coat on top of his duty uniform, he pressed the chime and waited for the call to enter, and for the sliding doors to part for him.

"Doctor O'Connor," he said, foregoing to call her by her lower rank since that would set too bad a tone for what he meant to say to her. He was, of course, conflicted about the issue that he would bring up, for - to him - obvious reasons, but if he was to live as he had been known on the ship, and truly adopt this facade of a persona that had manifested itself on top of the darkness residing within him, he had to speak with her about it. Not saying anything, letting it slide without comment, that would be unseemly of him in his role aboard the ship.

"I am not sure you've guessed already, but the reason I am here is because I was allowed to review the initial hearing of Doctor Maya," he said quietly, not sitting down, instead folding his tattooed hands behind his back and looking at her. "I sympathise with the regret you must feel now, about not alerting me about her condition, or pulling her off duty. You put faith in her word, because you saw the same strength in her that I did. Fortunately, I survived her attack, and bear no scars more than the fright. What I have come to say, since we are all wiser in hindsight, is that..."

He paused, sighing. There was a lot to be said, but it mattered not in the end. The parasite within was the true villain, and yet he should be wroth with her if he were to keep up appearances and help the crew. He should have every right to be. "I guess I have come to ask you to tell your patients to be more open towards their superior officers if they are suffering some kind of affliction. By the winds, I promoted Doctor Maya before the Black Opal incident, thinking that she preformed excellently. To learn now, through this hearing, that she was not only raped, but also breaking down under the supposed influence of T'Rena's residual mind? Had I known, Maya would have been given the time to recover, to get the help she needed."

Pausing, Lucan frowned. Should he tell her that he should put a formal report to Ives about what happened? He did not wish to. Not when she wasn't fully to blame. Then again, perhaps he ought to, just because that was the right thing to do? He decided to postpone that idea, instead raising an open question for debate. "Now, we have seen the outcome when the mental health of all is under your care, and their physical health under mine. So, I have come to wonder, should we truly keep separate journals for our patients, if it leads to accidents like these? During a situation as this, where the crew is under this amount of pressure, do we need to make this adjustment?"

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] True by Untruth

Reply #1 –
[Doctor Hayden O'Connor[| Chief Counselor's Office, Main Sickbay|Deck 11| USS Theurgy] Attn: @Auctor Lucan

When Hayden saw Doctor Nicander's name on her schedule, she wasn't entirely surprised. Professionally speaking, given the influx of additional crew, it made sense he would want to touch base with her just to make sure they were on the same page with regard to meeting their medical and psychological needs. She didn't know the man all that well despite having been aboard for some time now, but she knew he respected her and trusted her at least enough to assist in sickbay as needed. Most recently, she'd had the terrifying, yet exhilarating pleasure of helping Hylota give birth. The thought of the Ovri's most recent trial reminded her she needed to check in with Hylota and her potential children as soon as possible. At the same time, thoughts of the joyous event that seemed to have happened so long ago now only reminded her how much had transpired since then and how much work she had ahead of her before anything remotely so happy could take priority.

Of course, she also considered this meeting had been requested for an entirely different professional reason. After all, Doctor Nicander had been attacked by Maya during her strange and as yet inexplicable actions that landed her in the brig. Perhaps the doctor had decided to seek counseling after such a traumatic event and betrayal of their relationship.

To say Hayden wasn't expecting the conversation to open the way it did, wouldn't be entirely accurate. Wherever O'Connor's brain was intellectually, or at least where she was trying to focus her thoughts, emotionally, she hadn't ever really stopped thinking of her part in what had happened with Maya, going over and over what she could've done differently and what she should have done, whether or not it would've actually made a difference in the outcome. Guilt was a powerful emotion, and when mixed with one's natural instinct to survive even an emotional threat in a way that was least detrimental to her mental health, the result was a confusing and never ending ride on a psychological teeter totter that alternated between events being completely her fault and unforgivable to events being unforeseen and her actions being understandable given the information she had at the time.

As usual, however, for her, she let the storm of emotions wash over her before she worked to quiet them and consider the doctor's words from a more objective point of view. Taking in the message, she chose her words carefully, but as always, the emotion behind them was sincere.

"I appreciate you coming to me with your concerns, and as you say, recent events have given me much to consider about my actions and how communication between our personnel will be handled in the future. Though I realize it will offer no comfort to you now, I will reiterate I would never knowingly put a member of the crew in danger, and I am sincerely sorry you were hurt. I am grateful you suffered no serious physical harm, though I acknowledge, the emotional impact of recent events is yet to be seen."

Hayden continued. "When Maya came to me to discuss her emotional turmoil, I shared my concerns about her fitness for duty and I did suggest that she tell you what was going on with her. At the time, however, Maya assured me she had dealt with similar emotional turmoil many times in the past and had been taught a cleansing strategy to address it. She explained it would take a couple of days and would perhaps prevent her from being taken off duty long-term at a time when we needed every member of the medical staff possible. She further assured me if she didn't feel any better at the end of this cleansing process, she would come to you directly and ask to be taken off duty. Of course, as you can imagine, she didn't have a chance to begin the process."

She paused, gathering her thoughts. "Even though we both agreed she would continue therapy in addition to this cleansing process, I realize now Maya and I were both too focused on keeping sickbay staffed for the battles to come to properly weigh the risks of keeping her on duty. At the time, those risks seemed less clear and less certain compared to the risks associated with keeping a medical officer from being able to save people in the heat of battle. My biggest mistake was trusting her judgment that her particular problems were similar to what she had experienced in the past and trusting her when she said past solutions would be effective now.  My intention was never to keep you in the dark and I am open to whatever ideas you have to improve communication between our two specialties."

Re: Day 03 [0900 hrs.] True by Untruth

Reply #2 –
[ Dr. Nicander | Counselor's Office | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @The Counselor
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Remaining on his feet, Lucan folded his tattooed hands behind his back.

"I think, given what has happened, you and I need both to have the same access to the patients' psychological reviews and their medical journals respectively. We might not need to grant the same access to all counselors and medical staff, at least not to begin with. Instead, I suggest the two of us set aside time regularly to discuss noteworthy patients we've found. If there are troubling cases of psychological trauma or conditions, these should be highlighted when the two us meet, and vice versa. On my end, I will be informing you when patients have undergone a kind of physical injury that could have left them with significant emotional trauma. I realise that meetings like that might highlight a lot of cases, but that is when the shared access come in, allowing us both to filter out the more commonplace conditions or trauma, such that might not have immediate effect upon the mission. High profile cases, like senior officers and specialists, should be prioritised, even if - of course - all patients are equal to treatment. We just need to make sure no one runs the risk of ending up like Maya did. Do you concur?"

Having said this, Lucan paused, and then addressed what he should do, but did not wish to do.

"In regard to her, and what happened because she wasn't relieved of duty," he said quietly, sighing, "When an incident like this occur, which could have been prevented, I should be making a report about it. It is my duty, yet one I am hesitant to act on without speaking to you first. I feel that... while I should report what happened, it is not entirely fair to you. Doctor Maya fooled me as well, making me think I could rely on her. I am a doctor, not a councellor, but somehow, I feel I should have noticed something as well."

What he had said had not been a question, yet nor had it been just a statement. He raised a hand to rake it through his unkempt hair. He continued. "I think Wenn Cinn will be making a report on the consequences regardless what I do, about how the repercussions could have been avoided if Maya had been off duty. Yes, Maya freed Sonja Acreth from the brig, as much is certain, and Acreth killed a lot of officers on the way to the Temporal Observatory," he said, and then turned his hand over, the gesture illustrating the other side of the argument. "Then again, whether or not Maya was allowed to serve in sickbay might not have mattered in terms of releasing Acreth from the brig. She could have done it regardless."

Pausing, Lucan hated himself for having to bring up another sin of the parasite, and put it on Hayden. He loathed himself for having to do it, but he felt he had no choice if he was to preserve his public image. "However, while on duty, she did administer the hallucinogen that made Nathaniel Isley kill Ensign Skye Carver. I have also received reports that Thomas Ravon and Lin Kae both did things they had no memory of, saying they were not feeling themselves afterwards. I checked, and I am afraid their actions coincide with Maya's treatments. She is most likely responsible for making Ravon assault Junior Lieutenant Rawley, and Lin Kae's betrayal at the Black Opal - as you know - jeopardied the lives of many officers, Commander Trent included. Therefore..."

Lucan sighed, and the conflict in him wasn't feigned, only different in apparent nature. The lines between truth and untruth blurred.

"...I fear that if I don't file a report about my medical officer being allowed to remain on duty despite all the things she revealed in the hearing that she'd told you - ranging from the sexual assault on her to her black-outs - I would be failing in my duty as an officer. The two of us might prevent it from happening again, with this new routine of transparency between our departments set up... but I fear I still could be making a mistake in covering for you. By the winds, I would not report you out of spite, since I survived the attack. I would be reporting you simply because I should. Therefore, I wanted to speak with you first, so that I can make an informed decision. Having heard your side of this matter... I am still undecided."

Hayden say silent, thoughtful, until she raised her eyes to Lucan.

"In the end, it is not your decision what might happen. It is the Captain's. Not reporting me would cast blame where there should be none. It is better if the Commanding Officer of the ship decides. All I ask... is that you remain just as objective as you've been now, talking to me, in your report. Then, we'll see what happens."

The silence lingered, until Lucan inclined his head. "I will. By the winds, I promise you that."

- FIN
 
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