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USS Theurgy: War Tremors

[PO2 Kino Taer | Kino Taer’s Quarters | Deck 15 Vector 02 | USS Theurgy]

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The door to the NCO quarters on deck 15 slid open and allowed the Petty Officer from Trill to enter. Kino Taer, back from cryostasis after being severely injured during the latest skirmish with Borg boarding parties, entered her room and looked around. Her dissimilar eyes scanned the place, moving from the bed, passing the door to the small bathroom and ended at the shelves to her left, which held some of her dearest possessions. Everything seemed to be in order and complete. The bed was neatly made, the crest of the United Federation of Planets meticulously positioned right in the center of it.

The steeled soldier walked over to the shelve, her eyes now poised on the two medals she has earned during her years of service. Both items were resting on velvet in small, exquisitely crafted caskets. She used to look at them with proud and a feeling of exaltation before the battle of the apertures. Now, she reached out with her trembling left hand and closed both caskets simultaneously. She could not stand the sight. Not now.

Kino turned around and slowly approached the bed. Her face was depicting sorrow, regret and despair as she slumped onto it and buried her face in the pillow. The wild, unrestrained scream that was forced out of the Trill by sheer anguish was certainly audible in the shared living room that was connecting hers to the other NCO quarter inside this compartment. But Kino did not care. She did not care if there even was anyone living in there by now. Following the bloodcurdling scream, her well trained shoulders began to convulse, and sobs started to erupt from the slender figure of the Security Officer.
Lt JG Sorek Morgan
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PO2 Kino Taer
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Re: USS Theurgy: War Tremors

Reply #1
[PO2 Kino Taer | Kino Taer’s Quarters | Deck 15 Vector 02 | USS Theurgy]

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Kino opened her eyes slowly, fully enjoying the skillful hands of the massagist who was working on her lower back. Her eyes focused on the next massage table, where Eliska was lying face-down, receiving the same amount of attention from a different male employee of the famous Hoobishan Baths. Kino's eyes wandered along her crew mates beautiful, naked body, observing the strong hands sliding over her bare skin with fascination.

The air smelled of herbs, the scent of slightly aroused males and the sweaty odor the two women were emitting. The massage after the little sparring they had earlier was well earned and something Kino had been looking forward to. She only slightly remembered details, not too much. Their bodies, wet and hot, wrestling with each other in a friendly fight. Kino could not help but smile at this hint of a memory as she let her eyes focus on Eliska's face. The Security Officer had her eyes closed and exhibited a profound state of relaxation. A deep-rooted feeling of belonging emerged in Kino as she heard the young woman next to her utter a satisfied sigh. How badly she wanted to just get up and send the cute Trill who was kneading her lover away in order to take over and touch this beautiful, smart and stunningly amazing being herself.

Suddenly, an image appeared in between the two Security Officers. The slender and beautiful avatar of Thea materialized and turned her eyes immediately upon Kino before speaking in a soft and gentle voice. "With deepest sympathy, I regret to inform you that Petty Officer Eliska Bremmer was killed in action on Stardate 57578.01. I will forward information to your computer console detailing the mission she was on when she passed away." There was a pause, before the A.I. continued. "Even when knowing of the past you shared with officer Bremmer from my database, I can't imagine the sadness you must be feeling from this loss. I'm sorry."


Kino's subconsciousness had brought the A.I. in to repeat the dreadful words. Kino knew what was going to happen. She was well aware of her way of dreaming and fear was creeping up her spine. But before she could even try to wake herself up, the vivid dream-image of Eliska, still in focus behind Thea, was suddenly crushed into the table by an invisible weight. Spurts of blood sprayed onto Kino's face, turning into tears upon arrival.  The Trill woke up in her quarters, feeling empty, alone and deprived of everything she had ever wanted. The silence in the sterile room was only interrupted by desperate sobs and almost panicky gasps for air in between them.
Lt JG Sorek Morgan
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PO2 Kino Taer
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Re: USS Theurgy: War Tremors

Reply #2
[PO2 Kino Taer | Kino Taer’s Quarters | Deck 15 Vector 02 | USS Theurgy]

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1 Day Later:

Kino sat at the desk in the shared living area of her NCO quarters. She wore an oversized, black sweatshirt, had the hood up over her head, covering both her tears as well as the bite marks on her lips. Her left hand was trembling wildly as she was typing the text into her console.

Resignation

Dear Captain Ives

I hereby declare my intention to resign from my duties as a Non-Commissioned-Officer of Starfleet and request being allowed to leave the ship at the next possible opportunity.

Please refrain from trying to convince me to stay. I cannot. I am done. I am done with this job, I am done with this ship and I am done fighting. I have lost too much, have seen to many people die and I just cannot take anymore. I joined Starfleet more or less unwillingly, but I grew to love what the organization stands for. I have - throughout my time of service - always tried to stick to the code and do my best to please my superiors. I have stood up for the values of the Federation at several occasions. I have lost both my legs, my right arm, one eye and my ability to procreate. I have done all this because I thought it was my duty, my destiny, my calling. But it is not! It never was!

I could tell you a whole lot more about my reasons to quit, but I think you would not understand. I admire your conviction to save the Federation, I really do. And I am sure that I will feel bad from time to time about the fact that I let all of you down. But I think my departure would not make such a big difference. I am not even sure if I could continue working in the line of security.

Please just let me go.


Kino paused, burying her face in her hands and tried to swallow her tears. When she looked back up, she read what she had just vomited into this machine and chuckled sarcastically. "Fuck that! Computer, delete text!" She said angrily. She was disappointed with herself. This letter of resignation was not worthy of an NCO. Shaking her head she stood up and retreated to her room in silence.

Lt JG Sorek Morgan
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PO2 Kino Taer
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Re: USS Theurgy: War Tremors

Reply #3
[PO2 Kino Taer | Kino Taer’s Quarters | Deck 15 Vector 02 | USS Theurgy]

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Kino was sitting alone in her quarters, trying to understand what was happening to her. The past days had been a blur of tears, violent outbursts of aggression and regret. She had never - not in her whole life - felt this misplaced, this lonely and betrayed. Never before, not after she had witnessed her fellow officers die in battle against the Dominion, not after she had seen her crewmates on the Theurgy get decimated and not after her first severe injuries and the following recovery and adaptation to her new, artificial limbs.

She kept asking herself what on earth was different this time. She was clearly in denial, otherwise she would have been able to link the message of Brenner's death to her current situation more clearly. In the back of her mind, she was aware that this particular loss was affecting her more than any other casualty she had witnessed. But she was not yet ready to fully understand her emotions.

What was especially irritating were the ongoing adjustments her body had to perform in order to completely function with her latest bodily additions. Her left leg was twitching and tingling from time to time, and so were her private parts. A very unconvenient sensation, when one was lying on the bed, sobbing like a mad-woman.

Kino had pondered the thought of quitting her service at Starfleet. She was tired of fighting and she was convinced she was responsible for too many deaths at her watch. But she had snapped back from those thoughts, knowing that Starfleet was her life. She was born to serve a greater purpose, even though she might not go about and talk a lot about it. After her brief fling with rebellion in her youth, she was now feeling a natural attraction to give everything for the ideals of the Federation and Starfleet. She did not want to quit. She did not want to live on some boring planet and do art or some sort of science. She wanted to be here, on the Theurgy. She wanted to serve alongside her fellow officers and be a part of something great and honorable.

As she looked up, she saw her image in the mirror. Her pale face was even whiter than normal, around her eyes was a reddish glow that was a clear and unmistakable sign of tears shed over something, she could still not grasp. But she also was reminded - by her own image, staring back at her with one distinctly different, artificial eye - of the grave danger the Federation was in. If the Theurgy and her crew did not fight against those parasites, who would? If Kino did not get her act together and stand up for the ideals she adapted to deeply, who could?

- FIN
Lt JG Sorek Morgan
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PO2 Kino Taer
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