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Federation Temporal Agency HQ: No Time To Talk About Time


[ Temporal Analyst Kelly Smike | Analyst's Station | Temporal Affairs | Floor 13 | Federation Temporal Agency HQ ]
Kelly Smike was not having a good day, and it was only getting worse. At times like these, she wished she could just jump back in time on some days and tell herself not to bother getting out of bed. But that would be violating anywhere between a million and one to a billion and one directives. But her mother always said running away never solved any problems. Yet Kelly suspected her mother never had to deal with quite literally, herself.

An older, scarred, angry and rude self at that.

“Sooo,” said Kelly, “which timeline are you from again?”

The timeline where everything was just fine, until YOU went and messed it all up, for the gazillionth time! said Angry, glaring furiously at the younger Kelly until the petite blonde was thoroughly cowed. Your job is to analyze the datastreams as they come in; not take part in temporal incursions. I mean, how HARD is that to comply with? Hmm? Thanks to you, I got all these! I so want to kick your ass right now. She gestured at the scars and disfiguring injuries on her face, then dropped her hands down straight.

The woman's fists were clenched so tight that her knuckles went white, making Kelly take two steps backwards.

“Pretty sure you'd feel that if you did.” said Kelly nervously.

It's worth it. I was such a dumbass years back. said Angry with a mean grin.

Kelly adjusted her special glasses and swallowed hard as Angry approached her until she was almost in her face when an alarm on the console across the room started beeping insistently, warning of, “Oh look, a temporal incursion! We should check that out.” She quickly sidestepped her very angry future self and darted for the console, inputting commands to pull up more data and she stepped back. “ The Theurgy!”

Good Lord, when is it NOT the Theurgy?!? said Angry, who slapped a palm against her forehead, and then she peered at Kelly, whose back was still turned to the woman, and realization dawned on her, Kelly don't you even dare think about it. We're NOT Temporal Ag-

Kelly activated the time transport bubble, accidentally, when her fingers hit the confirm button instead of the forward to Temporal Agent Daniels button.

[ Corridor | Deck 13 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ]


“Language!” said Kelly, rebuking her older self. She glanced around in awe, “we're in the Theurgy!”

Yeah, terrific! said Angry, And I'll swear as much as I damn fucking well please, you stupid bitch. It's because of you I swear so much!

Sighing, Kelly only shook her head and then clapped her hands together, “I wonder whether that hunk Daniel is around...”

DANIEL?!? said Angry incredulously, But you see him all the time. I haven't seen you bat so much as an eye at that ol...

“I meant Daniel Havenborn,” said Kelly, correcting her older self, “not Temporal Agent Daniel.”

Same thing! Angry shook her head and threw her hands up in the air.

“Wait, are you saying that Daniel is...” Kelly looked hesitant now.

You never noticed, huh?

“'re messing with me right now, aren't you?”

Do I look like someone who messes around with the timeline? Actually, don't answer that, that's entirely rhetorical.

Angry brushed past Kelly none too gently and examined the empty corridor, The coast is clear so far. Okay, now let's get back to the thirty-first century, before they find us.

Kelly's eyes dart left-to-right, and she looked down at her uniform, “Oh no...ohhh no no no no no.”

Angry looked at the younger woman and scowled, Let me guess, you forgot to take along your quantum generator.

Kelly buried her face in her palms, “Ohhh my God, Daniel is going to kill”

At this point, that might be doing us a favour. I could do with some non-existen-this is Theurgy...shit, that means the ship's already seen us!

“No no no no no no...!” Kelly looked even more terrified, until Angry slapped her, yelling, Snap out of it!

Abruptly both Kelly and Angry seemed to bend in and out of sight, as if they were behind a shield of water and someone just made a ripple on them. They gasped in unison, and then looked at each other. “Oh no, the last time I felt that...there was a temporal bubble, and...” dragged me out of my own timeline and reality, Angry finished, I can feel it. There's more of me, you, us...c'mon.

She ran off towards the turbolift, followed by a frantic Kelly, and they headed for the Cargo Hold.

[ Upper Cargo Bay Level 2 | Deck 13 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ]

Kelly and Angry stared in horror at the sight of nearly two dozen identical women in varying attire, sprawled all across the cargo bay. The women were stirring slowly, most of them wearing glasses, though Kelly was fairly certain only hers were cosmetic and technological rather than for improving eyesight. One seemed very oddly dressed, wearing a thick orange turtleneck sweater, a short red skirt, high orange socks and shoes. Jinkies, said Nerdy, where am I?

Taking a look around again with her really thick square glasses, she amended it to, When am I?

Pretty sure that one's gotta from the most fucked up reality ever... muttered Angry.

“I dunno,” said Kelly, “I think I like her better than you.”

This is serious, Kelly! said Angry, I'm from your immediate future, and if anything happened to you, I cease to exist - which I am okay with, but you... - but this lot? Look, that one over there's got brow ridges like a half-Klingon! How the fuck did that happen?!?

Kelly looked queasily at Angry, “If I become as rude and mean as you, maybe I'll just kill myself.”

I say! said another version of Kelly, this one with braided hair, and one of the most upbeat appearances ever, Kelly just labelled her as Shiny. She spotted Kelly and Angry and grinned at them, Begging your pardon, but I don't suppose you might know to whence I've arrived, would you?

Angry rolled her eyes and stared daggers at Kelly, I swear, Kelly, after this, you have got to quit the Temporal Agency. How the fuck are we going to explain the twenty-six of us to the crew of the Theurgy?!?

Kelly shrugged helplessly, “Well, at least I get to see Havenborn again, and Captain Ives...oh no, unless this was the time that Jien Ives and that Darren Brackenridge face off and...”

"SPOILER ALERT!" all the girls shout at Kelly in unison.

OOC: This is a "What If" scene and not a part of the real Theurgy story.

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