Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

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Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

September 29, 2017, 06:57:26 PM

[Ensign Chris "Husker" Slayton| Pilot Locker Room | Deck 16| USS Theurgy]
ATTN: @Even Angels Cry

Chris had just finished up an amazing breakfast with his new girlfriend, even though it was too early to actually start calling her that and was sitting on the bench in front of the storage locker for his exosuit, clad only in the lower half as he made some minor adjustments to the torso unit as it was putting too much pressure on an old wound during the last battle and just chalked it up to being over anxious prior to the conflict at the starbase.

He was naked from the waist up, unashamed at having his naked torso bare to show his scars and tattoos to the world around him as he was so tired of hiding himself from the very people that had apparently since adopted him as one of their own... even though he still felt that he failed Ghost during the last battle with the passing of Morrigan.

Damn, that still stung as he had never lost a wingman before since he was Phanatos' before that and HE died during the mutiny of Vassar's Stupidity.

The moment that the word "Stupidity" crossed through his mind, the last bit of his conversation with Ji crossed through him and it made him wince as he recalled her body posture..the words..and it made him wonder how stupid he could be, allowing himself to be that open like that to the point where he dropped the adjustment tool before his fingers of that hand clenched into a fist as he became angry at himself.

Husker then shook his head to clear it, this wasn't the time for him to have such thoughts and then he quickly leaned over and snatched the tool up off of the ground from where it had fallen and resumed his work, actually thankful that he had a patrol coming up in a few minutes.

At that moment, Chris looked around and wondered where his temporary wingman, one of Tali's people who came over from the Orcus by the callsign of "Angel", was since they where due to start their CAP pretty soon but he then simply went back to adjusting his torso suit, making an angry tsking sound when he finally found the problem in the suit's lower right region. "Nasty little bugger aren't you?" he mused as he took the micro-tool to to the armor which started to make loud clicking noises.
//////////////////////////////

OOC:
CAP stands for Combat Air Patrol.

Re: Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

Reply #1 – October 09, 2017, 10:02:22 PM

LT JG Alessia Garcia, Callsign "Angel"| Pilot Locker Room | Deck 16 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @DocReno
[Show/Hide]

Three days. Alessia grumbled at her alarm in the darkness, but lay in bed despite the wake up call. How different her life had been three days ago. She had awoke that day like countless before, never guessing what might lay ahead. She had a squad meeting before the battle, she'd even given some fairly mouthy pep-talks to her comrades. And then she was blindsided by the unexpected. Old allies, friends whom she trusted, appeared and planted just enough doubt to make her question things.   The decisions made during battle are always field striped. They never consider every consequence or seek out where the facts lay. They are heat-of-the-moment choices that haunt your mind until you can find a way to make peace with them.

It had been three days since she defected, and while Alessia had been solid in her convictions during the first day, she felt like everything was falling apart around her. Sehl hadn't returned from sickbay yet, though she'd been told his condition had finally stabilized. She worried that this mysterious illness plaguing the ship had somehow infected him, along with dozens of others across the Theurgy. She'd also heard of the attacks on crew and the gas incident from the day before.   There was a strange kind of atmosphere in the corridors, like a thunderhead funnel cloud that could spark into a tornado at any moment. Many of the crew were wary, tensions were high and patience was thin, but they all pretended like nothing was wrong.

So Alessia played their game. If she was going to act all 'business as usual', she'd need a good breakfast and her morning workout. These were part of her routine, things she never skipped, but she wasn't interested today.   Instead, Alessia lay in bed staring up at the dimly lit ceiling and wondering if she'd made a terrible mistake.

[[ Her heart believed that she was in the right place, but how could she prove it? She'd only asked for proof of the invisible once before in her life, but here she was knocking at the same door again. "Por favor, Dios, solo dame una señal; algo! Por favor! Solo uno. Necesito saber que este es el camino correcto.¹ It was these moments of weakness that she hated the most. She needed something sturdy to hold onto, but her firm foundation had long since passed on. "Jonas.." If he were here, what would he say?

"Yo diría 'dejar de llorar ángelita,' cuanto más cerca se llega a la verdad, más difícil es luchar."² As he spoke, Jonas tipped up Angel's chin and smiled at her.

Angel blinked in confusion. Her brother was dead. She knew had seen the vids and everything.. but it didn't stop her from throwing her arms around him. "Jonas!!" She remembered the way she felt when he'd wrap his arms around her little frame in a big bear hug, and the way his cologne smelled. It was exactly as she remembered him.

"Está bien angelito, no estás solo.³" Jonas hugged her tight, and she could feel her worries melting away. When he tried to speak again, a strange beep come out of his mouth. And again. And again until Alessia blinked in confusion. ]]

The alarm was blaring 6:45am as Alessia's brown eyes opened again and noticed it. 6:45?! Had she fallen asleep again?! She must have! Which meant that Jonas was never here, but she knew that anyway. It was all a dream. Something constructed by her subconscious to ease her mental anguish and clear her thoughts. She could pick it apart later. Right now she had a patrol run to get to!

Alessia threw her clothes on, grabbed her gear and ran out the door. She practically skidded into the locker room at 6:59am, making no effort to be quiet. She ran to her locker and began donning her suit as fast as she could. Was her flight partner here? Probably. She decided to offer up an apology to the room.

"Lo sien- I'm sorry for being late! I overslept! It never happens, and it won't happen again! I'll be ready in 5!"

1.) Por favor, Dios, solo dame una señal; algo! Por favor! Solo uno. Necesito saber que este es el camino correcto. = Please God, just give me a sign; anything! Please! Just one. I need to know this is the right path.

2.) Yo diría 'dejar de llorar ángelita,' cuanto más cerca se llega a la verdad, más difícil es luchar. = I would say 'stop crying little angel,' the closer you get to the truth, the harder you have to fight.

3.) Está bien angelito, no estás solo. = It's ok little angel, you're not alone.

Re: Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

Reply #2 – October 10, 2017, 02:41:06 AM

[Ensign Chris "Husker" Slayton| Pilot Locker Room | Deck 16| USS Theurgy]
ATTN: @Even Angels Cry

Chris was starting to finish up his adjustments when the doors swished open to reveal a very harried young woman to which the scarred Asgardian couldn't help but chuckle at the reaction. "It's alright, I had to do some adjustments to the torso of my suit as it felt way too tight during the last battle." he said, waving off her rushed apology. "Besides, as Terror would often tell me that it's not the cause of lateness that's the problem but the intent is."

Chris stopped and tapped the micro-tool against his lower lip in thought as once again he wondered what the frak that actually meant.

The Asgardian shrugged and looked over at his fellow pilot as he went to pick up his undershirt. "Lieutenant Alessia Garcia right?" he asked with a pleasent smile on his face. "Chris Slayton, in case nobody has said it yet welcome to the ship." as he tugged the shirt over his head before replacing the micro-tool into its storage compartment before picking up the upper body portion of his exosuit and started to slip into it, instantly feeling the differences in the areas that needed work.

"So then one wolf to another, how are you settling in?" he asked as he started to seal the suit in it's various joints before making sure each section was properly powered and charged before completing the cycle.

Re: Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

Reply #3 – November 13, 2017, 08:22:10 AM

Angel smirked and for a moment she felt right at home, like nothing had changed. But then there were introductions and she remembered that she was new to this ship and this crew. She straightened up a little taller as she extended her hand in greeting. "Yes. My flightmates call me Angel, but Alessia and Garcia also work. It's a family nickname. And thank you. There's been so much hubbub since we arrived, I'm certain the formal greetings got lost in the shuffle." She flashed an all-teeth grin at him and shed the outer layer of clothing she'd entered in. Underneath the standard-issue Starfleet sweats, Alessia wore a black body suit that clung to her curves. It hugged her skin, from wrist to wrist and ankle to neck, providing complete skin coverage but leaving little to the imagination.

Alessia hauled her flight suit out of her locker and pulled on the bottom half while Chris continued casual conversation. "Well, I'm down a RIO until Sehl recovers, but otherwise I'm alright. Everyone has been polite but there's a lot of tension on the ship. I know I just got here, but it's a bit unsettling." She paused as she pulled the top of her flight suit over her head and tightened it to fit snug against her body. She then did the same to her flight pants and pulled her boots out of her locker. "But, that's to be expected in the wake of that battle. It was brutal. We left so many behind.." Alessia sat heavily on the bench as her thoughts drifted to those losses. Her fellow white wolves, Iron Fox and the others, all those innocents on the Starbase.. so much unnecessary loss of life. And she had joined them. What did that make her?

She couldn't think about that right now. Alessia lifted her boots and fitted her feet into them. "Sorry,
I don't mean to be a downer. I guess I need time to process it like everyone else. We've got a patrol mission, right? I did one of those yesterday. It wasn't bad" The smile returned to her face as she finished and stood. She pulled her gloves from her locker and turned to face Chris. "Thanks for asking though. Maybe after shift we could grab a bite or something." It wasn't an offer for a date, just a chance to get to know someone. "Well, ready when you are."

Re: Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

Reply #4 – November 17, 2017, 03:03:24 AM

[Ensign Chris "Husker" Slayton| Pilot Locker Room | Deck 16| USS Theurgy]
ATTN: @Even Angels Cry

Chris listened to what the other pilot was saying and then turned to say something in return when he saw what she was wearing under the outer clothing that she had been wearing and couldn't help but to admire the young woman's physical form and from how the bodysuit molded itself against her rather impressive muscle tone-one couldn't be nothing shy of impressed.

Chris judged her to be at most five foot five and maybe a hundred and thirty pounds, give or take a pound or two, based on what he'd been taught on how to read other people by Paran all of those years ago and from how she moved, her muscles told him him that she was well defined, not in the same vein as a professional body builder but someone who liked to keep their endurance higher than normal for the kind of combat situations that those in the Tactical CONN would often find themselves in.

In the eyes of a man who had taken to the Andorian way of life in a lot of ways, she was a very impressive and attractive woman but despite all of that there was only one thing on his mind to put it simply...but that was neither here nor there.
He watched her as she talked and saw how her body language reflected her words until suddenly something made her body language go from "Happy..ish" to "Somber" which made him raise an eyebrow as he finished adjusting his helmet before closing his locker's door.

"Sorry about your...RIO was it..and I hope that he or she gets better soon, Angel." He said in a reassuring tone as he took a step closer to the other pilot and gave her a reasuring nudge in the shoulder with his left hand. "Yeah, we've got the short in the stick right now but you have to remember that yes you can be nervous and yes you can be scared but that's only because of the uncharted water that we're in..I think John Archer felt the same way when he saw the Xindi council for the first time or the great Ambassador Spock in the minutes leading up to the creation of Genesis planet.."

A wry grin then crossed the Asgardian pilot's face as he hefted his flight helmet just a little bit more to show her the dents and dings on it that was still there from the events of the previous battle and yet, like her, he was still there. "We can do this, Angel. Besides I don't think Ji would let me live it down if I bring in another fighter like I did last time..." he started to say before a blush crept in from around his beard at which point he shook his head hard. "Besides, this is a fun ship from what I've heard and I'll share what I know over a burger after the patrol."

He then smiled and went to head out the door but then he stopped and gave her another wry grin. "Just for the record though, if somehow the Iconians turn out to still be alive and behind all of this..then consider me done, deal?" he quipped with a playful wink.

Re: Day 03 [0700 hrs.] A CAPital conversation

Reply #5 – January 25, 2018, 08:46:11 AM

[A joint post by Doc Reno and Even Angels Cry]

The comments caught Angel off-guard. She wasn't worried about their mission per se, or her ability to perform it. If anything, she was confused about the events of the last few days and worried for her RIO. She was allowing those thoughts to cloud her mind and shake her focus. It was something that needed to stop right now.

She smiled at Chris and forced her anxiety and fears down. She exhaled. Today would be a good day. She just had to focus on that. "Gracias. Sometimes I get stuck in my own head, comprende¹? But don't worry about me. I got a job to do, I'll do it. I got your back. Just.. these last few days are starting to get to me. I think I'd love to join you for that burger when this is over." She finished locking down her suit and tucked her helmet under her arm. "Ok amigo, are we good?" It was her way of asking if he was ready.

Chris nodded in agreement, "Trust me when I say that I understand about being stuck in your head, Angel." Chris said in a somewhat somber tone before he nodded at what she said next and headed out of the door from the locker room and headed onto the flight deck, trying to push his worries out of his mind as he walked.

Angel followed suit, with her helmet tucked safely under her arm. When she reached her Valravn, she did a visual walk-around before gripping the ladder. She climbed up and hopped in, making sure to pull her helmet on as she strapped in.
Her bird powered on without difficulty and Angel smiled. "Good to see you, mija². We got another patrol today. Estas Listo?³" Once again, she'd have to do everything herself but Angel was determined to stay focused. Sehl was on the mend and he'd be back soon. Then she could bounce her ideas off of him. What would he say about her and Devyrie? About her not-a-date date with Nathan? Or her growing doubts? What about her dreams? Or her increasing desire for a real drink? She was long overdue for a heart to heart with him.

Focus, Alessia!

As the green light to exit the hangar bay was given, Angel taxied her bird out and dove into the shimmering void.

Chris slipped his own helmet on with a practiced ease before climbing up into his own bird and started its pre-flight before it launched into the depths of the Azure Nebula and for the first few minutes of the patrol, he was able to clear his mind of all the stress that he was under and simply focus on flying. He also kept an eye on Angel and after a few minutes he thought that it was too quiet and opened a channel up to her. "I have to say that I'm glad that Terror's eye for talent wasn't lost on you, Angel." He said as he made a minor course correction. "You are handling that beast like it's a puppy."

Angel laughed. It rang through bright and clear over the com channel. "Si, i suppose I do. Un Perrito⁴, as we'd call it. But it looses something in translation. When we add the "ito" to a word, it not only becomes small but it also becomes dear to us. Someone's son is un hijo, but YOUR son is mi hito, my little and loved son. I was un Angelito to my brother, a beloved little angel. It's why I picked this callsign. But I haven't found the right name for my baby just yet. It's a work in progress, though your contribution of "puppy" is appreciated, hahaha."

Angel flew at Husker's 5'o'clock position as they slowly cruised the airspace near the ship. Her scanners and sensors were actively reading back the emissions signals from the repair crews and work bees, as well as the dangerous invisible gas nodules. So far, there was nothing to report. If the patrol remained like this, she'd have an easy go with her report later.

Husker took the two of them high over the Theurgy's prow, keeping an eye on his sensors as he listened to Angel speaking. His mind was partially focused on the events of his breakfast, not understanding why his mind kept trying to shift his attention to it. "I don't have one for my bird either, just it's call number..Chief Eun is curious as to why I haven't named her either." he mused as he shifted his attention to the shields, inputting a few commands to try shifting the EM signature to equal it out. "Also I'm not picking up anything, Angel, I'm still seeing if my patch job to my shields is working in this nebula."

"Something wrong with your shields? Or are you adjusting them to compensate for the EM frequencies out here?" A shield malfunction up here would be catastrophic. Hopefully it was the latter option. But his comment did spark something in Alessia's mind: this was a job most often performed by Sehl. She wasn't sure how much time he'd actually gotten to tinker with her valravn once they brought the craft over to the FAB. "Actually, if you're just testing a modified emitter sequence, mind if you send it to me when you're done? Usually my RIO takes care of this, but since he's ill, I better make sure mine are updated as well."

"Quite the opposite, Angel. My bird got shot up pretty good during the battle at the starbase which I did some minor patch jobs before Chief Sten and his deck crews got a hold of her but before I was on the Theurgy, I was on the Harbinger and we had to learn how to do patch jobs on the fly." Husker explained when a memory flashed across his field of vision...one that had been haunting his memory recently which made him shake his head. "So tell me, did the girls ever talk about me?" he asked, needing to change the subject quickly.

"Oh.. Well, i'm glad she's fixed enough to fly then." The battle at Starbase 84 was still too fresh in her mind. She had fired upon her own squadmates. She had disabled more than a few other ships and outright destroyed at least two. Those men and women bled for Starfleet just like she did. What right did she have to cut them down? Had any of them survived? The questions popped up, one after another, until he asked something that jarred her mind to a halt.

The girls? Angel thought about this for several long moments. "There were several women in the White Wolves. Which ones were you referring to?"

"Terror and Sniper, I was with them on the Harbinger back before they transferred." he explained as he shifted his Valkyrie over to loop around the Theurgy's mid-section before he shifted the comm-channel to a more private one with Angel. "and between us, Angel, I was also in a relationship with them...that created a bond that helped them and you." he explained in an honest tone.

"Ohh, yes I do remember them mentioning a Chris before." Angel kept her flight distance within standard limits as the two fighters crossed the mid-section of the Theurgy, and switched to the flashing, private channel when Chris opened it. " I had no idea it was you. I was shocked when I found out that Chris wasn't short for Christina, since.. well you know. The two of them were fun to hang with, both in the air and on the ground. We weren't super close, but we did occasionally get together. They're so close though.. I just can't imagine them opening up to anyone else. Especially not a man. What was it like?"

Husker couldn't help but chuckle lightly as he adjusted his flight path. "When I was first assigned to the Harbinger, I was drawn to Tali and I didn't know that she was exclusive with T'Zantha at the time but when I did, I couldn't judge because I understood the passion and truth that they have with and for each other...they took a liking to me for some reason, Angel." he said in a tone that sounded a little bit wistful, like it was a happy memory in times when that was a real treasure. "They...they helped me when I was lost for a while there after the wars, Alessia." he finally admitted, something tugging at him.

Alessia listened in silence. Husker's words felt like an admission of some kind, something revered and secret. She smiled as he spoke of her flight mates in a rosy light. "I'm glad they did. You know, I've heard a little of their side of this tale, and i can understand the attraction they shared. You're not a bad-looking guy. I'm still surprised there was no jealousy between the three of you though. But I can understand some of the emotional attraction too. It is uplifting to give someone something they've never really experienced before." As Alessia adjusted her course to follow Husker, a question came to mind. "Do you miss it?"

Husker smiled as he listened to Angel's comments, happy to be given a complement after what had happened but then that one question caught him off guard as the memory flashed across his waking thoughts again and he was quiet for a couple of minutes as he tried to find his voice again which he did, but when he spoke there was a hint of both joy and sorrow in it. "Yes and no, Angel. Tali kept telling me something that I didn't believe, couldn't believe until fairly recently and it still hurts."

"Yes, I do miss it to an extent because it was something unique and pure but I wasn't meant for either of them and I can accept that which in turn it gives me two of the most awesome people that I've ever had the honor of knowing as people that I can turn to when I'm in crisis and they won't turn me away." he explained further, trying to keep his attention on his flying. "But with what happened during the last days of the Harbinger...it confused me, tore me apart."

He took a moment to shift communications channels, "This is recon flight one to Theurgy, patrol is still clean. Starting recon route two." he said into the channel, giving a brief report before switching back to the personal channel.

Alessia let his words sink in. He spoke of a kind of relationship she'd never tried before, something she didn't really understand. But she got the feeling he was guarding his words. Perhaps with time he'd be more comfortable discussing things with her. This was their first real discussion since their initial meeting yesterday. She did make a mental note to search the ship's computer for records on the Harbinger, though.

As they began the second pass, Angel felt like it was her turn to share. " Experiences like that are priceless. They help us grow and introduce us to new things in life. I believe everyone we meet has been placed in our lives for a reason. Sometimes those people walk with you until the next crossroads, some say hi in passing and others follow you for years. The important question is what did you learn from them. " Alessia paused. What had she learned?

"I know from my own experience that sometimes relationships open us up to new things we hadn't thought possible. I've learned that love can come from anyone, and sometimes it's ok to give and accept passion without a commitment. I've learned that some people can't handle choppy waters and tough times, leaving you alone to figure yourself out. I've also learned that you need those lonely moments to really get in touch with who you are and learn how to love yourself when you're at your weakest. "

There was something in Angel's words that caused something deep within Chris to rattle something free, something that had been locked away...or buried perhaps? Husker shook his head as he grit his teeth hard as an image flashed through his mind: Dark warm brown pools reflecting mixed emotions, somewhere between fear...and something more familiar.

Chris' jaw relaxed just enough that when he went to grit his teeth again, he bit the inside of his cheek instead which brought pain with it. "You..you have a rather valid point there, Angel, and that's somewhat scary."

"I only speak from experience." Her voice grew softer as she continued. She would tell this tale, though not in its entirety. "I had a fiance once. We dated for two years, then got engaged. Then.. my brother died. My whole life fell apart after that. And somewhere in all that tragedy, he just couldn't stand by me anymore. So he left. Lots of friends left actually. I don't blame them. I had a hand in chasing them off.. but still. When my head cleared months later, i just buried everything that i couldn't or didn't want to deal with. I've spent all my time since then slowly tackling one thing at a time. It's a long road and not one that i would wish on anyone else, but it has taught me patience and it's given me a unique perspective on life, faith and relationships. I'm only just now brushing off my passionate side. And the experience was definitely worth waiting for. "

Chris took in what Angel had just said, quietly listening to her story as he tried to understand why she was telling him this but as she spoke-the thing that her earlier words had shook loose inside of him came just a little bit more free and he felt an urge to return such trust with some of his own.

"I...I have never had anything like that in my whole life, Alessia." he started to say, letting some of the person that had only in passing with Ravon and a lot with Ji actually speak as the person that was actually Chris Slayton and not one of the other two sides of him. "I never had the serious girlfriend or the serious relationship, my older two brothers Marcus and Danny had gotten those but me...I never had that honor and it made me bitter I guess...unable to trust my heart to anyone really...I tried that with Tali and T'Zantha but they knew that they weren't the ones for me but they did try to heal the gaping hole that was in my soul." he said, his tone completely honest and yet with a pain that really couldn't be hidden.

Chris then took a deep breath, almost unsure if he could say what else was on his mind because he was scared to admit this to anyone...yes, his conversation with Cameron the night before had revealed his feelings but this. This was different. "The thing is...that has changed and its scary that I could feel this about about her and she hasn't even asked me why her yet..."

Angel picked up on a few key words. So Chris had a lady in mind? She smiled. People said you couldn't hear a smile, but Alessia knew better. "The first time is.. intense. It's all consuming. You constantly wonder 'Am i doing this right? What should i do next? I can't mess this up!' Just remember that it's you she likes. Just you. You, Chris, with all your habits and mannerisms and flaws. You, with all your words and actions and personality. It's the oldest advice, and the hardest to stick to, but just be yourself. And she probably won't ask 'why her' to you. Maybe to her friends, but not to you. You show her why each time you're together. She already knows why."

Alessia had no idea if her advice was on point or not. The second lap was nearly complete now and she had noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Alessia switched channels once more and repeated nearly word for word what Chris had said the last time. "This is recon flight one to Theurgy. Vector two is clean. Starting final recon route. "

After switching back to Chris, she continued. "I know how you feel though. I really like.. this girl.. but i don't know if I'm just still enamored from the other night or if this is something we both want to pursue. I should talk to her but we've both been busy since then. "

Chris nodded to her words, "I have never met someone like her before, she has an energy and fire that I find infectious, she calms the storms and gives me rest...which due to the life that I have lived before the service says a lot, Alessia." Chris explained as he adjusted his flight path, doing a quick inversion scan of the local space to ensure that the radiation clutter wasn't masking anything as he used an old trick from his time on the "Aurgia". "I wanted to show her that I wasn't wanting just sex and then nothing..."

He stopped in his line of thought before he blinked a couple of times as the image of her eyes once again crossed his mind and it made him let out a depressed sigh. "If you like someone a lot, Alessia, then sex shouldn't be the first thing on your mind but how much this person means to you or could mean to you. For instance, the woman that I'm interested in, we had breakfast only a short while before this patrol and do you know that I can't stop thinking about her, those dark brown eyes that I can loose myself in for hours or how that smile of her's can go from happy to devilish in a nano second?"

He then smiled at the very thought of those things and he knew that the odds that she could hear it over the comm was quite possible. "Does this girl do that for you, has she gotten under your skin or is she heavy in your thoughts?"

It was a good question. Alessia considered it as her thoughts filled with Dev. " I'm... i don't know. I've known her for so long but until the other night she was just a friend. And now i can't tell if the memory is sill fresh enough to influence my thoughts or if our encounter has just left me with rose-colored glasses when it comes to her. Honestly the whole thing started as an accident. A rouse. But she opened a door i had long since shut and now i can't get her out of my head."

Alessia sighed and adjusted her position to accommodate for a dense cluster of gas. Two nights ago had been... fun. Needed. Wanted. But was Dev what she wanted? "Right now she's all i can think about. Her smile, her amazing hair, the way she looks at me from across the room. I just don't know if it's real or if it will last. It was never my intention to just spend one night with anyone. But even though I've known her for years, I'm only just now getting to know her. "

Chris nodded as he brought his bird along the Z-axis of Thea's central line. "I understand you completely. The first time that I saw Ji on the deck we were getting ready for some operation and she was smiling about something, I honestly don't know what, but it was that smile that caused everything in my world to change and it's usually the little things like that Alessia." he explained with a warm smile in his voice. "I had a few chances to try and talk to her but I found that I couldn't do anything more then just blush but then yesterday I went to go and fix my bird after the battle and there she was."

Chris recalled how she stood there, her posture screaming confusion as to how Chris was able to bring in his fighter in the shape that it was in and the look on her face when she finally turned to look at him. "I couldn't run, Alessia, there was this woman that I worked alongside on a near daily bases, who had been in my thoughts so much that it took all my energy just to say "hello" to her..."

Alessia chuckled. Ji? The surly maintenance lady in the FAB? That was adorable. "Well i wish you the best of luck. Though it sounds like you've gotten a chance to talk a few times now. She seems fun. I bet I'd get along well with her. "

Chris suddenly blinked as he realized that he had just used Ji's name as a very powerful blush appeared on his face and hoped that she couldn't see it. "Well we have had a date last night and then breakfast this morning...Ji, she is a great woman, Alessia. One that I trust with something that I never thought I could trust anyone with." he admitted, now a little bit scared as he said that outloud.

"It's funny how life changes our perceptions about trust. I used to think i could trust everyone. As i grew older i hardened myself to that idea and i only truly trusted one person. I told him everything. He was my rock. My best friend. Now that he's gone i seldom trust others with my secrets. It's funny because i fly with all of you and i entrust my pack with my life... but not with my secrets. As if those bits of history are somehow more valuable than my own life." The thought made her pause. How was it possible that she could do that? Was she really so afraid that someone would use her own history agsinst her? It seemed awfully silly in the grand scheme of things. Still, she was reluctant to tell Chris the truth about her past.

Alessia cleared her throat and switched back to discussing Ji. "Its good you have found someone you can share that with. Since Jonas, the only person I've tried to open up to is Sehl. He knows a thing or two that i don't often share, but that's because we're together so often."

Chris listened to Alessia's words and he still couldn't get the image of Ji's eyes and what he saw there out of his mind. "I hope so to, Alessia. I am loving the fact that I have some one that I can talk to and be open with...but I just hope that I haven't messed up because I have never have had something like this before." He admitted.

Alessia understood the fear Chris spoke of. As they made their last turn, something else came to mind. There was a good chance this ship would be the last one she'd serve on. The odds of surviving an encounter with the entire fleet were minimal at best, and now that she'd defected her service record would mark her as a traitor as well. Which meant that however much time she had left, shed be spending it with this crew. Her drive to get to know her team must have been subconsciously spurred on by this knowledge. But it also meant that she had to be careful. Relationships took work. They were never perfect and often messy. Especially in the beginning.

Alessia considered her activities over the last few days. Reckless, careless. Driven by emotion rather than thought. Icarus was nice and they had fun windsurfing, but she hadn't intended it to be a date. Dev was playful and they'd been intimate, but she didn't know if she was ready for that kind of intense relationship. Either way, she needed to talk to both of them. Like Chris, this was a situation she'd never been in before and she didn't want to muck things up. Especially not here, at the end of the line.

Her gaze left the sensor display to glance once more at the void around her. In the bubbled cockpit of her valravn, it really felt like she could just reach out and touch space. She sighed. Her answers weren't out there. They were here, within this ship and inside her own mind. After a long pause, she finally responded to Chris. "I think you're worrying too much. I understand your fear, but all you can do is march forward and apologize if you mess up. But from the sounds of it, you're doing fine."

Chris listened to her and while he felt buoyed by her reassurance, something in his heart told him otherwise. "I hope things are that simple, Alessia. I want to share something with you because I have this feeling that you won't tell anyone.." he started to say but stopped, actually having to gather his thoughts in full because of how strong things where as he looked out at the nebula. "I haven't had the easiest of lives and it shows from the sheer amount of scars that I have on my body after my time in a klingon prison for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time before the Dominion War." he started to explain. "I lost a part of myself in that place, day in and day out I was thrown into a pit and made to fight until all of what little of my innocence was torn from me and all that was left was a man who is capable of reading others."

Chris throttled back his bird as he adjusted his course just a little bit. "After my father died, I finally join Starfleet where I met the girls and everything was good in my life until the day that Tali told me that she accepted a transfer along with T'Zantha at which point I was alone again before the Theurgy went rogue and the Harbinger, the ship that I was on before Theurgy, did as well at which point I watched as men and women that I knew were brutally killed by our fellow officers in the fleet until we discovered the Theurgy and then the mutiny that happened there." he continued, his voice choking as he remembers Liquidus' last moments covering him and Phanatos' escape during a strike and fade mission. "I thought that this was the end of the line and I honestly stopped caring about if I came back from a mission or not yet because in my family, you're either a proud member of the fleet, doing your duty...or you're dead to the family."

Chris took a deep breath as he looked over at the Theurgy, it's sleek lines highlighted in the pale blow glow which made it seem almost innocent despite the fact that the ship was an advanced dreadnought-carrier. "Then I saw her, Alessia, she was doing something and then she smiled like I told you and it...it knocked something loose inside of me that made me realize that just for that smile alone, I would go through hell to come back alive and to her."

Chris had to blink away the tears that had formed, this was honestly the first time that he'd ever opened up to anyone in his life. "I worry because for the first time in my life I have someone to fight FOR, it's a fun and scary feeling. But I also have my friends to fight for like Razor, Cameron, Icarus, Terror, Sniper, Goldeneye, and now YOU." he said proudly, as he looked over at the other fighter. "Thank you, Alessia."

Alessia remained quiet. She listened without interruption until he finished. How strange that Chris now felt confident enough in her to share his struggles and shed some light on his inner demons. But it left her feeling unequal. Yes, she'd shared a bit of her life but nothing detailed, nothing like that. She'd withheld her biggest secret. Why? Because she didn't know him? He was one of the men and women she trusted to save her life if things went sideways out here in the black. He deserved to know. They all did. This was as much for her as it was for them.

She swallowed her fear and spoke up. "That's a lot of honesty. It's an honor to be entrusted with it, but now there's something i need to tell you. Something i need to be honest about with myself. I.. I am.." She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Then another. Why was this so hard? It was now or never in her eyes and as much as she wanted it to be never, something inside told her it needed to happen now. So after a few deep breaths, she tried again.

"Im an alcoholic. Recovering, i mean. Been sober since November of 2376. Got 4 years, 4 months and 6 days under my belt. It was hard at first, getting sober. But it got easier. I focused my energy into other things and that helped a lot. But lately, all the shit that's gone down the last 3 days.. all i want is a stiff drink. Long island ice tea, chilled sangria, ice cold beer, i don't care. Hell, I'd even take a warm beer or cheap, boxed wine! I just want to taste the sweet nectar on my tongue and feel that forbidden euphoria pulsing through my veins. I just want one drink! But i know myself.. One drink will turn into me stumbling out of the bar at closing time. I know i can't but it's just so hard. I.. I need help. I need someone else in my corner. I have Sehl but I need more than one person watching my back. I can't do this alone anymore. "

Chris listened to her and then throttled back his bird until he was within line of sight of hers and then opened a visual comm-channel so that she could see his face. "I want you to remember two things right now, Alessia." Chris said as his green eyes stone like emeralds at her. "I don't offer my trust easily or often but you have earned it and the fact that you were able to share that means that you know that you're with a friend that can help, little one." He said in a warm and honest tone to her. He then gave her a smile, "The second thing is who said you were alone?" He asked her simply. "Did I or did I not just say that you have got someone in your corner?"

Between the impact of his words, the unwavering tone in his voice and the sincere look on his face, something stuck. No, she wasn't alone. This burden she'd been carrying all this time could be shared. There were others willing to help, willing to step up. She'd have someone other than Sehl to remind her how important her sobriety was. It felt good, having a friend she could count on like that. And in some weird way it felt good to tell him her secret.

Alessia started at a Chris on her visual channel. She broke into a shaky grin and nodded. "Yes. You did. Gracias. Gracias mi amigo⁵." Spanish was her first language, and though she spoke fluent (albeit accented) English, sometimes she slipped up. Like when she felt emotional or was under intense stress. She didn't even notice the switch.

The FAB was in view now and after transmitting her data and hailing the hangar for landing instructions, Alessia let the automated process bring her in. She glanced at Husker's bird and smiled anew. She'd made a friend. She'd offered up her burden and he'd willingly taken a piece of it. She still wanted that drink. Desperately. But she had someone else to be accountable to now. Someone new in her corner. It was a wonderful feeling. This is what she had missed out on during her time aboard the USS Orcus. This was the grounding she needed on this messy new ship.

Chris couldn't help but smile as he nodded back but there was still something haunted in his eyes that he really couldn't shake. "Not a problem, Alessia. Thats what friends are for right?" he asked warmly.

[ -FIN]

1. You know/you understand
2. my little one/my little girl
3. Are you ready
4. a little/beloved puppy
5. Thank you, my friend.