The Therapy of Lahkesis Saugn

August 14, 2017, 06:36:27 PM

Ok, so I missed quite a bit and there was a plot thread with Lahkesis I never felt fully got resolved. So I am going to tackle it. Because I will be using a character not on the Theurgy to do so I figure I will post it here.

This is just the first session, but I can write more if people like to read it. Feel free to leave feedback or whatever.

Due to all the recent events the Chief Counselor office was always in use. Lahkesis's appointment had thus been moved and then she was assigned to a different counselor altogether. Though this would have frustrated many Lahkesis had not really connected with the Chief Counselor and she had only gone to the appointment before because Maya had gone as well. And she had done her best to tuck away the dark memories as best as she could and go forward. It wasn’t the first memory she had forced out of her mind and acted as if it had not happened.

Yet she had been scheduled for a follow up and if she wanted to keep her psychological record good for her next review she knew she would have to go to the follow up.

She was in on of the tertiary sickbays sitting in the much smaller Counselor’s waiting room. She had arrived earlier than she had been required to and as she sat in the small waiting area she felt her mind wonder. Not for the first time recently she thought of her sisters and wondered what they must think of her now. Would they think she had betrayed them as well as the Federation? Were they still alright? If something happened to her how would they ever know? If something happened to them how would she ever know?

“I’m ready to see you know,” a pleasant enough voice said from the doorway.

Lahkesis looked up and into the gold hued eyes of Counselor B’Nila.

Counselor B’Nila was a member of a very odd race, from a rogue planet drifting through the vast empty area of space not far from Vulcan. Lahkesis knew little of the planet, but she knew that as a result of the very low light conditions B’Nila’s people lacked any sort of pigment and had highly reflective retinas and irises. The result was a female humanoid with stark white skin and eyes that seemed to glow a vivid golden hue.

B’Nila gestured and Lahkesis got up and followed after her.

B’Nila’s office was somewhat smaller than the Chief Counselor’s, but the chairs were very clearly not standard issue.

B’Nila herself sat in a high backed desk chair covered in an odd greyish blue sort of fur. The chair Lahkesis sat in was a heavily cushioned cracked red leather armchair that seemed like if you leaned back it would recline. It was very clearly a specifically chosen arrangement.

As Lahkesis sat down she turned her pupilless eyes to the counselor.

B’Nila gave her a relaxed, comforting sort of smile. “I read from your file you last met with Chief Counselor O’Connor, is that correct?” B’Nila began speaking quite casually.

“That is correct,” Lahkesis replied, surprised at how rigid she sounded in contrast. Was she really so uncomfortable? She did her best to relax, but she found she was indeed sitting poised, as if ready to get up and flee if she needed to, she had been in this alert ready state for some time.

“And how did that go for you? Do you feel you made much progress?” B’Nila asked resting her hands in her lap.

Lahkesis considered this for a moment. “To be quite honest I spoke very little. The session was more about the needs of Doctor Maya.”

“Sounds like a bit of one on one therapy might be better then, don’t you think?” B’Nila asked with the same sort of pleasant smile.

Lahkesis wasn’t sure, she said nothing.

“From what I read there was a very traumatic experience regarding a fighter pilot I see no need to name,” B’Nila said calmly. “What can you tell me about that?”

“It was during the mutiny. He tried to attack us in sickbay. This throat was slit and I shot him,” Lahkesis intoned, her voice suddenly sounding more distant.

“Indeed, I did hear about that incident, but that was not the incident I was in reference to. Doctor Maya reported that you had accidentally acquired some of her more traumatic memories involving said pilot,” B’Nila pressed on, though her tone remained calm and even. “What can you tell me about those memories?”

“Oh?” Lahkesis blinked. “It was at the Festival of the Moon, Maya had been in one of the springs and he came there... and he... he did things...” Her voice faltered and she trailed off.

“And you now have the memory of those things,” B’Nila replied softly. “And if I understand correctly the perspective of the memory was as if he had done those things to you, correct.?”

“Yes.”

“Then for all psychological intents and purposes, it did happen to you. On an emotional level you have become a victim of his violence just as much as Doctor Maya is,” B’Nila said calmly. “Trauma like this effects people in a number of ways and though you have not show any physical signs of the damage done to Doctor Maya, you have the emotional damage of it.”

Lahkesis wasn’t sure what to say. Of course B’Nila was right, but it seemed so complicated.

“I think our best method of moving forward would be to treat this like any other form of sexual violation. Though there is a degree of separation, the intensity of emotion is the same as if you were raped, so I vote we treat it as if you were. We deal with that pain first and foremost. We have no need to complicate this. Do you agree?” B’Nila asked.

Her voice stayed in that same calm place and for some reason Lahkesis found in comforting. She nodded her head and was surprised to find that tears were welling in her eyes.

Without a word B’Nila handed her a small cube shaped box of tissues and as Lahkesis wiped her eyes B’Nila let her process, only speaking when she set the tissue down.

“Now there are many ways to deal with this sort of trauma, but we will do it as best suits you. I believe we should arrange to meet up somewhat regularly, at least for a little while, say once a week with room for another session a week if things get worse, alright?” B’Nila said. Her golden hued eyes never left Lahkesis, though she did not seem to stare, but rather there was a sort of professionalism that Lahkesis knew well enough.

“That should be... it should be fine,” Lahkesis replied doing her best to hold herself together.

“Also I would like you to think of this office as a safe space. You can say anything you like and it will be strictly between us so long it is not a threat toward yourself or anyone else. If you are ever to uncomfortable to continue, we can stop for the day, though should that happen I would like to see you again a bit sooner. Alright?”

Lahkesis nodded.

“Now then, I think for this first session it would be best if we went over the events of the trauma as best as you can recall and convey them. I would prefer if you referred to these memories in the first person if at all possible, speaking of what you remember Phantos doing to you, not what Phantos did to Doctor Maya,” B’Nila said in the same soft tone. “In your own time and any time you need to stop we can. Alright?”

Lahkesis again nodded. She took a deep breath and did her best to steady herself. She had pushed the memory down so much she was almost afraid to bring it to the surface, but she knew she had to, she had to let the Counselor know what had happened if for no other reason than to inform her treatment plan.

It did not seem to take long to tell the story to Counselor B’Nila, though several times Lahkesis had to stop to wipe her eyes or just long enough to get her emotions in check again.

For her part B’Nila seemed to hardly move. Her eyes never left Lahkesis’s and she replied only when needed, never interrupting. When Lahkesis at last finish recounting the events B’Nila at last spoke. “It sounds like a horrific experience,” she said with a strong feeling of compassion in her voice.

“I don’t... I mean...” Lahkesis tried to go on.

“It is alright if you do not have the words to express your feelings right now. Feelings are complicated things and most of us are still learning to identify all of them in their various combinations,” B’Nila said with a gentle smile.

Lahkesis nodded and leaned back.

“From your recounting of events it is clear to me that the memory is indeed very much in the first person and I believe we should proceed with things like that. You were raped, even if it was by proxy the trauma and violation remain,” B’Nila’s voice was smooth, flowing naturally like water through a stream. “Thus we will need to work on those things, but these are difficult times and I fear trauma like this cannot be cured with a simple injection. This will take time and emotional work. In addition it will require a level of maintenance. Given your unique physiology I do not think it wise to attempt any sort of medical treatment, so we will try therapy, alright?”

Lahkesis once more nodded, unsure what else to do.

“However, I think it best if we end here for today. Though I would think it would be a good idea for you to take the rest of the day off your shift and to see me again within the next 72 hours. You have a lot of emotions to process and I can help you do that, but I think you will also need to learn to live with this memory. Do you think you will be alright on your own?”

Lahkesis did feel like she just needed some time to be alone. She wanted to think and to feel and not to have to be around anyone. “I should be ok,” she said as she got to her feet.

B’Nila got to her feet and with a level of grace escorted Lahkesis to the door. “You may of course get a hold of me at any time, if I am with a client I can get a hold of you as soon as I am free again.”

With a parting thanks Lahkesis made her way from the Counselor’s office and to her quarters. She felt emotionally devastated and just wanted some time to be alone.