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Topic: CH02: S [D02|0040] One More Casualty (Read 108 times) previous topic - next topic

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CH02: S [D02|0040] One More Casualty
[Lieutenant Commander Cross |  Cross's Quarters | Deck 07 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ


The hours after the bombing seemed to stretch forever. Stuck on the Bridge, Cross was completely helpless to do anything, reduced to staring at sensors and trying not to think about the situation below decks. He knew, of course, how bad it was. Many dead, many wounded, both Theurgy crew and Klingons...and that was it. Protocols about privacy meant that Cross couldn't get anything more than "critically injured", so for two hours on the Bridge, he stewed. By the time an hour had passed, he was almost hoping for a Bird of Prey to attack just so that he could blow it to hell.

Kai, you stupid bastard. Ranaan...Blue is going to kill you if you don't die this time. Fuck, I'm sick of this.

Finally, eventually, Cross's shift ended. Desperate though he was to go to Sickbay and find out more, common sense (or logic, he thought bitterly) won out: they wouldn't tell him anything. It'd be a futile trip. He half wondered if Blue would be there, but he knew better: she wasn't the type to sit in Sickbay, grieving. She'd do something else, go anywhere else except there.

Instead, Cross aimed for his quarters. A shower, a change of uniform, strong coffee, then he'd deal with the mess that awaited, both professional and personal. It looked set to be a long night, and he sure as hell wouldn't go into it without fuel.

All such thoughts went away as the door opened to reveal that his quarters were not, in fact, as he left them that morning. Chairs had been thrown, a table had been upended and knick-knacks were scattered all over the place, clearly victim of a paroxysm of rage. The lights had been almost completely dimmed, a small shape curled up in the darkest corner of the main room, far from the viewports. The place was completely silent.

Cross just sighed. He didn't say a word as he went over to that shape, not bothering to turn up the lights. He simply sat down besides the intruder, leaned his back to the bulkhead and pulled a knee up to his chest.
[Lieutenant Commander Cross |  Chief Tactical Officer ]

[Petty Officer 3rd Class Lillee t'Jellaieu |  Chief Support Craft Pilot | CONN ]

Re: CH02: S [D02|0040] One More Casualty
Reply #1
[LCdr. Blue Tiran | I Can't be Sorry | I Just Need You | Don't be Angry | Pain]

It hadn't been her intended result, this mess.

No, her plan had been come here, and find solace in Cross.  He had been there on the Versant, he had been there when she thought he was dead, when she was going through the worst pain in her life.  This.. this was a fucking hellacious nightmare again.  She couldn't breathe, the pain in her lungs which ached behind her ribs was resonating throughout her entire body.  This was the place she could hide, no one would find her here.  Well wishers and pitiful looks awaited her if she went the direction of the First Officer quarters that she had shared with Ducote since they had come on this fucking ship.  One that she was now regretting.  She had asked him to stay, she had pushed them to stay, they had every right to walk the fuck off the ship and head off to their own futures.  And now, because of her, he was in a stasis pod and her last fucking chance was a white headed mother fucker that she had somehow made an alliance with.

When she had arrived at the Quarters of her best friend, Cross, it was empty. She had called out for him in the most pathetic of voices but he wasn't there.  On duty probably, and without the support that she had really needed from him she had ended up trashing some of it.  Happy momentos crashed to the floor, the table that she caught her hip on and smarted briefly was flipped over, another chair that just looked at her wrong was flipped over.  As she raged, and cried, and raged at the way that things worked out again... again.....

She couldn't breathe.

Spent, she collapsed to the ground having screamed herself out, her throat raw, her face covered in tears once more as she crawled herself to the wall and sat against it in the darkness, the lights were on the dimmest setting because the light was too much.  To see the damage she had done only compounded the pain that she felt. 

Blue had no idea how long it was before the doors swished open.  The lights weren't asked to increase, a small boon for her, as Cross took in what she had done.  She would make it right, she would make it more than right, but he didn't deserve her physical grief taken out on his Quarters.  She could hear the swish of his feet as the bald Vulcan crossed over the room and to her, he had found her in the darkness as only he could.  He sat down beside her without a word and pulled one of his legs up to his chest.  She knew that he was waiting, and waiting was what he was good at. 

They had bonded so heavily while they were on the Versant becoming each other's comfort and finding out how much they truly had in common.  Blue sniffled softly, the first sound she had made since he had come into the room.  Softly, she leaned over, her body kind of collapsed on his shoulder.  She felt her face crumbling and the air escaped her lungs in a massive gasp that was nothing but sheer pain and agony.  Her body curled into Cross' as she clawed at his uniform and clenched it in her fist as the huge racking sobs escaped her body and her breaths came out in massive gasps of a drowning person.

Re: CH02: S [D02|0040] One More Casualty
Reply #2
[Lieutenant Commander Cross | Cross's Quarters | Deck 07 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ


Sitting there, with Blue imploding right beside him, Cross felt just as helpless as when he'd been trapped by the Cardassians, toward the end. He knew as well as anyone how fragile Blue could be, despite the insanity she'd pulled off on the Versant and the terrors she could inflict on her engineers. What had happened to Ranaan...the sheer randomness of it, the suddenness, the timing, just after the wedding...they'd had what, a month since the Versant?

Cross sighed, awkwardly enfolding Blue in his arms as she broke. He held fast as she sobbed, clawed and clutched his uniform, locking her tight in place, hoping that he could at least be an anchor. What a mess. What a fuckstained mess.  To top it all off, he was all Blue had to pick up the pieces, and vice versa. The crippled helping the broken. As cosmic jokes went, it was about as funny as the Niga outbreak.

"Just let it out, it's fine," Cross got out roughly, holding Blue tight. Even in the darkness, he could see that she looked as bad as she felt, and his over-sensitive nose wrinkled even more at the salty smell of her tears. He kept murmuring nothings like that, having no idea what else to do as he held Blue through it all.
  • Last Edit: October 06, 2020, 08:02:58 PM by Griff
[Lieutenant Commander Cross |  Chief Tactical Officer ]

[Petty Officer 3rd Class Lillee t'Jellaieu |  Chief Support Craft Pilot | CONN ]

Re: CH02: S [D02|0040] One More Casualty
Reply #3
[LCdr Blue Tiran | Can't Breathe | Pain | Not Again | It's Worse This Time]

As she crumpled, as all the emotions and thought behind all of her fears and truths began to pour out of her body she found him holding onto her.  Cross had been there the first time, but they had been only just meeting and Ranaan while she thought he was dead.. had still been some hope.  Here, there was such a slight hope and only because there was a Savi involved, it was all she could do to continue hoping that something good would happen at the end.  But, even still, she knew the looks on the faces of the doctors, she knew what they weren't saying, she didn't want to go there, she couldn't handle him not being in her life anymore.

He had saved her from loneliness and built her up more than anyone else in her life.  Ranaan was the kind of man that could see past the exterior of Blue Tiran and see that she was a real and true person on the inside.  That she was a shattered little girl that had raised herself through some seriously heavy bull shit, who had lost her rock when she was nine years old and left to fend for herself.  She had made brilliant work on herself, though she had to shut out the entire world around her.  She had made sure to make sure that she didn't let anyone fuck her over again, she didn't want to let emotions make her vulnerable.

Enter Ranaan Ducote.

He had shaken her entire world, made her feel worthwhile, made her the center of his world and yet never once held her back.  Understood who and what she was, but saw through all her bull shit and knew how to put her back in balance.  He knew how to calm her down, how to call her back to sanity, and how to .. with a single look make sure she knew she was over stepping her bounds.

Now, he was in stasis and she was without the foundation of her entire world.

She cried into Cross' chest.  He held her tightly and she was glad for it because she felt that if he wasn't holding her she would just fall apart.  Not because she didn't have someone to stand beside her but because of how important Ranaan was to her.  He was her foundation, he was her rock, her center, her gravity.  With him being gone she didn't know how she was supposed to stand tall as she had before.  Cross' arms were everything right now, to keep her grounded in a different way.

Blue cried for quite some time, the only person other than Ranaan to ever see Blue's tears.  When she finally fell quiet, her face was hot, and wet, and streaked with tears.  But she felt absolutely spent.  The kind of exhaustion that was soul deep, and not something that she could just get over.  This was a different kind of pain.  She could only hope desperately that something could help and change and he would be all right.  She would see his smile again, hear his voice again, hear her nickname again.  Those things that drove her on a daily basis.

"What am I going to do." she whispered out her throat raw with the tears.

Re: CH02: S [D02|0040] One More Casualty
Reply #4
[Lieutenant Commander Cross | Cross's Quarters | Deck 07 | Vector 01 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @BZ


There was naught to do but hold Blue and wait it out. Worse, the more she cried, sobbed and raged at a cruel universe, the more he wanted to cry and rage too. Ranaan and Kai were dead. Blue was broken. Cross felt damn near broken. It was random, stupid, nonsensical, illogical and a thousand other words. It was as if Blue's grief gave him permission to feel, and Cross hated her for that. He didn't want to feel, but he couldn't stop it, could never stop it.

"Do?" he muttered in reply to Blue's question. Cross was silent for a moment, his own eyes red and sore even if they stayed dry. "We're doing it. I think we're doing it. Damn, I don't know." Lost for words, furious at himself for not knowing what to say, how to help, Cross didn't just hate himself and Blue. He hated Ranaan too. Stupid bastard, getting himself killed. Yeah, it wasn't his fault, but that didn't stop rage brewing in Cross' heart, rage at him, the Klingons, Starfleet, the universe, everything, who the hell cared...

Eventually, Cross realised just how boneless Blue felt against his body. She was just a body right now, Blue having cried herself out into a deep fatigue that he recognised. He even felt it a little himself, his limbs heavy. Nevertheless, he finally stirred, awkwardly getting to his feet.

"I'm getting you to bed," he grumbled, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Forget your quarters, just use my bed. I won't be using it." Cross hesitated, shrugged, then simply bent down and picked Blue up. She was heavier than he'd expected, somehow, heavier than he remembered. Nevertheless, he got her to the bed easily enough, laying her out on it, then sat on the foot of the bed.

"Sleep," he ordered sternly, not that it mattered. As far as Blue was concerned, he had all the authority of a drunk leprechaun. "Work out this shit when...later. We'll work it out."
[Lieutenant Commander Cross |  Chief Tactical Officer ]

[Petty Officer 3rd Class Lillee t'Jellaieu |  Chief Support Craft Pilot | CONN ]