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(2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

[CPO Avandar Lok | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @Juzzie

Lok sighed as he exited the turbolift near the Counseling Offices on Deck 13. He wasn’t the most thrilled going to see a counselor once again but he did promise himself he would, plus his logic was that he needed to keep his head straight if he was going to deal with the current situation he found himself in. If he was honest though, he hated meeting a new counselor, it always felt like he had to start from the beginning, get to know them. He wasn’t shy, well he was in certain situations, but he preferred to know about someone else’s personality to determine what he should and shouldn’t share. Perhaps that was not the way to do therapy, actually Lok was certain it was one hundred percent not the way to do it, but it worked for him.

With a turn of a corner, Lok arrived outside the doors to the Counseling Offices; he took a moment to make sure his fur was ok in the reflection of a panel screen as well as adjust his pants a little. Since he was off-duty, Lok had slipped into his more comfortable civilian attire, which wasn’t much, a pair of baggy olive drab cargo pants that ended just below his knee, other than the belt to hold it up he wasn’t wearing anything else. He had considered putting on a tank top but having been forced to wear his over-constraining uniform today, he wanted to feel more comfortable. Naked would technically be his most comfortable state, but most other cultures, particularly humans, were not so carefree when it came to nudity like Betazoids.

Satisfied with his grooming, he entered the reception area of the office. The receptionist, a petite brown haired Trill, looked up from her console, her brow raised in surprise at the tall wall of muscle and fur that just walked into the room. Maintaining her professionalism though she smiled and greeted Lok, “Hi, are you Counsellor Wiliams’ 16:00 appointment? Avandar Lok?”

“Uh yeah, sorry I’m a little early”, he responded, rubbing his elbow .

“It’s alright, have a seat and I’ll let him know you are here.”

Lok shrugged and took a seat in one of the larger reception area chairs. Rhys WIlliams was the only counselor on the ship that had any openings at this particular time available. Lok hadn’t looked him up beyond just seeing his name on the appointment form; he was pictured an older man, human obviously, balding, perhaps a little pudgy in the midsection. Basically his last counselor from two years before. Probably a little unfair to picture the man he had never met as looking that way but he never encountered a young counselor who wasn’t a bright eyed friendly young woman. The males always seemed to be more academic, curious about how Lok’s mind worked more than listening to his problems. Though he always got the distinct impression that they were also just fascinated by a Kzinti raised by a Betazoid and Caitian, and how all that worked.

“He’s ready for you now, just go through the door on the right.”

That was fast, Lok thought to himself, standing up from his chair he hadn’t had a chance to even get comfortable in. Doing as he was told, he walked across the room and through the pair of doors that lead into Williams’ office. His movements were a bit hesitant as he entered the room, and his furred face showed his apprehension.
CPO Avandar Lok | Head of Fighter Propulsion & Asst. COD - "The world I have known is lost in shadow..."

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #1
[Lt. Rhys Williams | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @joshs1000

It had had been a quiet day. Rhys was always surprised when one of those came along. The Crew of the Theurgy was in a deeply stressful situation from the beginning, often made worse by other events. The Counsellors had busy schedules. There was always something or someone on the verge of crisis.

On this day however Rhys had seen at most three people. In some ways it could be good, he could catch up with paperwork, but it also put him on edge. The less confident side of himself wondered if he was being avoided, if the crew wanted to see the other counsellors and the shy weird guy. He knew it was nonsense of course he got just as many patients as everyone else. Sometimes, he got more because he tended to overwork himself. However, the feeling was always there.

He knew he had one more this afternoon, a Chief petty officer. Once he had seen the man he would head back to his quarters and try and relax, fail and end up doing more work. He knew the appointment was a Kzinti which was immediately interesting to him. The young Welshman knew very little about the Psychology of the Kziniti except from books. However, he was eager to learn and had spent the last few hours reading up on it. He’d even gotten some works for some before bed reading.

Rhys wasn’t sure of the specifics of why Lok was coming to see him, but that was often better. It was better sometimes to get the information direct from the horses… or in this case cat’s mouth. He however did see he had seen a few councillors in his time on board. There could be any number of reasons for that, personality clashes, if Lok found counselling a particularly galling process which some did maybe even something else entirely.

Eventually his assistant let him know that his patient had arrived. He informed her to tell him to come in, and he positioned himself standing in front of his desk.

It wasn’t often that Rhys felt small. Rhys was over six feet tall. He was well built with a body built for swimming and honed by his love of Rugby. However, before Lok, he felt like shuttle caught in the pull of a star. Rhys naturally shy, tended to stoop in a subconscious attempt to deflect attention however he found himself trying to straighten up. Not that it made much difference.

Rhys recovered quickly and offered Lok a small smile. “Hi, nice to meet you. Would you like to take a Seat?” He indicated a large comfy armchair… well large for a human probably still a little cramped for Lok. “My name is Rhys.” He was careful to avoid mentioning rank. Rhys had never been much for that kind of thing. He was counsellor first and foremost and mostly still saw himself as a civilian. As far as he was concerned his rank was just there in case something catastrophic happened to all the people above him and the people who had defeated them wanted someone to negotiate surrender terms with.

He immediately picked up on the tentative way Lok moved. It diffused a lot of the shock of how big and muscular he was. He was just another person who needed his help. He noted the casual appearance of the Kzinti. He was glad of that, he often wished more of his patients came to see him in more casual dress. Staying in uniform could subconsciously create a lot of tension in his experience.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” He said motioning towards his replicator. A small part of him was also noting there was something pleasing in the way Lok’s muscles moved. Regardless of Lok’s response Rhys moved to get himself a cup of tea and said in his soft sing-song Welsh accent. “How can I help you?”

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #2
[CPO Avandar Lok | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @Juzzie

Lok’s keen yellow eyes fell on the shorter man and his striped brow raised in surprise. Not old, bald, or pudgy, he thought to himself, -no, young and handsome. He felt a tinge more nervous because of this. It was one thing to have a counselor you got along with, it was another to find one who, for him anyway, was pleasing on the eyes, and Rhys certainly was pleasing. Another form of nervousness struck him however, one that wasn’t his own, it was familiar, the kind he sensed everyday from those who didn’t know him, he almost filed it away without thought until he realized it was from his new counselor.

“Uh, sure”, he said at the offered chair, all the while he focused on the emotions that Rhys put out into the room, Lok was curious. As much as they would like you think, counselors, therapists, shrinks, they weren’t neutral balanced unimposing statues, but people who had emotions, sometimes quite strong in the midst of a heavy session. And while the counselor was studying Lok, Lok was in turn, studying them, not prying, most of the time, but merely gauging their reactions.

He pulled a couple comfy throw pillows from the plush chair to give himself a bit of room, setting one of the floor and one on his lap as he sat down. It was a bit of a tight fit but he wasn’t uncomfortable, though he did worry the chair might collapse under his weight as it gave several groans in protest. He also ended up tossing the other pillow aside as well, his propensity to unconsciously knead the fabric with his claws would end up costing the handsome counselor a pillow.

“Nice to meet you Rhys, I go by Lok rather than Avandar…just was always easier and faster, only my family calls me Avandar.”

He gave a soft kind smile to sort of ease any potential tension at him being Kzin; most people had a certain number of expectations of Lok on first meeting him, aggression and anger specifically.

Rhys offered to get him a drink, to which Lok responded without any hesitation, “Coffee, black..uh if you tell it Kzinti size, it replicates a much bigger cup of it.” Then came the question that essentially boiled down to “why are you here”.

“Well”, Lok started, his ears folding back a bit as his yellow eyes, originally intently, perhaps uncomfortably, focussed on Rhys, looked away to anything in the room the large man could speak his thoughts to rather than the handsome counselor himself. He spied a model ship, just over Rhys’s shoulder, a rather well done one, clearly not replicated, he could spy the tiniest hints of glue and the tell tale signs of brush strokes when the light hit the paint just right.

“Well I just thought, with everything calmed down, I should see someone…I was in cryo-stasis for six months and went back to work about an hour after I woke up like nothing happened, from what I understand that isn’t exactly healthy…or normal.”

He tried his best to inject some humor and casualness into that opening statement, but now that it was made and invisible filled the space between the two he could turn his gaze back to the counselor. To help focus his own empathic abilities but also just to study the man’s movements, how he carried himself. His mother always told him that most of the time one didn’t even need to sense an emotion to tell what somebody was feeling. He continued.

“I’ve done these before and the talking helps…I guess it’s just finding the motivation to come down here is the first hurdle. So uh yeah, that’s why I’m here, just to talk some things out I guess about what’s going on.”
CPO Avandar Lok | Head of Fighter Propulsion & Asst. COD - "The world I have known is lost in shadow..."

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #3
[Lt. Rhys Williams | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @joshs1000

Rhys’ mind was always a whirl of activity. It was one of the reasons he sometimes had trouble sleeping and had to tire himself out. Normally this involved, runs, swimming or maybe an intellectual exercise of some kind. Had Rhys known that Lok had some empathic he might have been more nervous. Empathy and Telepathy had always made him uncomfortable as Rhys had no confidence that his own thoughts would show him in a good light.

Within Rhys’ head there was a sense of attraction, curiosity and sympathy directed at Lok. Rhys’ emotions were as subtle as a fireworks display, but his face remained politely impassive. He felt a little sorry for Lok, everything in his office seemed a bit small for him. However he was happy the Kziniti felt comfortable enough to dispose of the pillows. He was also comfortable enough to want to be on first name terms. This delighted Rhys. He always made the suggestion to patients but some felt uncomfortable and liked to hold on the levers of formality as a security blanket.

Rhys noted that Lok had a very appealing smile. His body language indicated to Rhys some form of placating behaviour, which made sense if Lok was at all apprehensive about how his size and species would be viewed by others.

Rhys had been about to just order black coffee when Lok made his suggestion. Rhys nodded “Ah of course apologies.” As was typical of the young Welshman he apologised as if he himself had designed the replicator to automatically provide human sized containers. There faint embarrassment that it hadn’t occurred Lok’s requirement had to be pointed out to him.

He replicated a black Coffee and ordered a cup of tea. He took the Lok’s coffee over to him holding it in both hands for fear of spilling the large cup, before taking his own drink before taking a seat near the Kzinti. He listened politely his curiosity being peaked by his patient’s words. Rhys fidgeted a little while listening, not out of boredom. There was instead a nervous energy to him, an eagerness to help maybe an over eagerness.

Rhys took a moment to think about what had been said. He was clearly supressing the desire to immediately begin talking but was just about restraining himself. Letting himself think about what hew as saying before he said it. He was aware of a number of conditions and issues that came with coming out of a long period of cryosleep. However, it was important not to jump to any conclusions on that score. “It can be unhealthy.” He said finally. “But what is normal for others and what is normal for you may not be the same.” He sipped his tea thoughtfully all the while feeling a little sorry for Lok and resisting the compulsion to give him a hug.

“Do you feel being in Cryo for so long has affected you and if so how?” It was important to establish immediately that what mattered was not what other people felt was healthy and normal but what Lok felt was healthy and normal.

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #4
[CPO Avandar Lok | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @Juzzie

Lok took the coffee cup with a nod and thankful smile, being very self conscious to not show his sharp teeth, another way to seem less intimidating, despite the correct portion the cup still appeared somewhat small in his hand. He took a large sip, the familiar taste and heat was always comforting. Even during the worst events of his life, he always had coffee to keep him somewhat grounded…maybe that was something he could tell Rhys about.

Once the counselor himself was settled and had listened to Lok’s opening statements, he asked some questions of his own. Did Lok think he suffered any ill effects from cryo-stasis?

“Nothing physically, well nothing physically I can’t handle, just a bit of muscle atrophy but Doctor Leux was pretty confident I’d be fine - so other than some aches for the first couple days, nothing unusual.” He took a moment to think on his next words, letting his mind reconnect with Rhys’s. He was flattered and blushed a little inwardly at the man’s bit of mutual attraction and curiosity. Well at least he believed that it was mutual, Lok was the only person in the room after all. Kind of the tricky thing with being an empath rather than a telepath, he could sense the feelings but not exactly know their context.

“Well if I’m being honest Couns- uh -Rhys”, he said, continuing the conversation, “it has affected me, a bit more than I would like.” To steel himself for essentially laying his feeling bare for Rhys, he took another large sip of life-giving coffee. After setting the cup down on a nearby table, he continued, “I guess, the main thing is you know, I’ve lost six months of my life…that’s probably a little selfish to say but it’s how I feel. What is worse though is I lose six months and wake up to find that now I’m a traitor to my fleet and my country not to mention my mother and family have disowned me. And to top it off, we don’t know if we will ever be able to return to our old lives or if we will even survive. So yeah I’d say it’s affected me kind of a lot.”

He sighed and sat in silence for a moment, somewhat deflated in his chair. Despite feeling a little better at getting this off his chest, he still felt kind of silly, of course everyone on the ship probably felt this way. Lok wasn’t some kind of officer steeped in tremendous responsibility, he wasn’t better than anyone else, his job was to keep the planes in the air and that was what he was going to do, him being upset about it wasn’t important. Not to him at least.

It was something he should keep in mind that he did in fact volunteer to be here when he sided with the crew all the way back at Earth. Yeah that was smart.
CPO Avandar Lok | Head of Fighter Propulsion & Asst. COD - "The world I have known is lost in shadow..."

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #5
[Lt. Rhys Williams | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @joshs1000

One of the skills Rhys had learned as a counsellor was surreptitious observation. Keeping track of a the other person’s movements and reactions, but doing so without making them feel like a cell under a microscope. It was tricky and involved trying to avoid staring and performing as if this were a normal situation.

He was certainly glad to here that Lok had suffered no physical ill effects. Personally, Rhys could not have imagined anything worse than being in cryo-sleep. He knew it was irrational as the procedure was safe but the idea of it creeped him out. Though when Lok mentioned muscles atrophy, Rhys couldn’t help casting an admiring look over his patient’s musculature and wondering if Lok was already this impressive how much more he would be without any atrophy. Rhys took a moment to recover and felt faintly embarrassed at his reaction and hoped Lok had not noticed.

When Lok explained the mental effects of what had happened. Rhys nodded slowly. It was a story he hard almost daily. Even without the added stress of loosing six months most people on the crew had some issue or another from the Ship’s situation. Rhys was a rare exception, there wasn’t really anyone waiting for him back home, no family. There was an old friend back in his home village but their relationship had grown increasingly strained anyway.

Rhys felt an overwhelming sense of sympathy for Lok, and setting down his drink he moved his seat closer to Lok’s and put a sympathetic hand on his leg. He did his best to not think about the muscle beneath his hand despite how nice it felt. He wasn’t that successful. Rhys focused on a particular word that Lok had used. “Why do you say selfish?” Rhys knew it was common for some people to feel that their own negative feelings were somehow selfish or self-indulgent. He wondered if that was what was happening in this case. “I’d say what you feel is normal and understandable and echoed by many on the crew. So why selfish?” He inclined his head slightly looking at the larger man.

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #6
[CPO Avandar Lok | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @Juzzie

Lok did not notice Rhys admiring his form, after saying what he had to say, his eyes sort of wandered off to staring at the model of some ship once again as he waited for the counselor to say, or possibly not say, anything. The model ship was an Excelsior Class, he couldn’t quite see the name from where he was sitting, L-something, and unlike some people he was not a walking encyclopedia of registry numbers. At least someone appreciates the classics, he thought to himself with an inward smile, so many people these days were interested in the newest fastest thing.

He stared at it some more, waiting for Rhysd to respond to his emotional avalanche, when he was suddenly jarred back to reality by the gentle touch of a hand resting on his thigh. Looking down he saw that the hand was Rhys’s. His batwing-like ears immediately perked up to their full height with curiosity; and his tail, which had hitherto been dangling over the right arm of the chair, started to slowly and somewhat sensually sway from side to side in its own form of feline curiosity. He refocused on the situation.

Lok felt oddly rejuvenated by this man’s touch, granted any form of physical intimacy that wasn’t simply a friendly slap on the back or getting punched in the jaw, had become quite foreign to the large Kzinti. By his own choice of course, wrapped in his own depression as he felt like the world was passing him by. Had he really been so shut off that a simple sympathetic touch could so easily catch him off guard, he wondered? No, there was more to it, not just sympathy, but…arousal. It was currently subtle but unmistakable, going beyond just a simple feeling of attraction as Lok had noted earlier. This feeling of course also helped to excite Lok as well and with his curiosity piqued at what Rhys would do next he made no motion to remove the man’s hand from his thigh.

Idle curiosities and carnal distractions or no, Lok was here for a reason and while he was absorbed in studying Rhys, the counselor inquired further on Lok’s feelings of selfishness.

“I don’t know”, Lok responded, “I guess it just seems selfish of me to think my feelings have more weight than somebody else’s. I mean in the grand scheme of things while I’ve lost some things it’s not as if I had some grand life before all this, just another grease monkey in the fleet among thousands.” He leaned on the arm of the chair a bit, moving slightly closer to Rhys, his sensitive nose picking up pleasing scents coming from the man that tried to distract him from their conversation.

“I lost my family, sure, but it’s not like I see them very often…hell had it not been for some screwup in the shipyard I’d still be on Perseus, hundreds of light years away and wouldn’t have seen them in person for two or even three more years. But I’m upset about it and yet we’ve got fresh faced Academy graduates and rookie crewmen who probably were a lot closer to their families than I was with mine.”

"Like I said, I'm just an old grease monkey who knows how to fix a plane."

Old, he was not even forty yet.
CPO Avandar Lok | Head of Fighter Propulsion & Asst. COD - "The world I have known is lost in shadow..."

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #7
[Lt. Rhys Williams | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @joshs1000

Rhys had noticed Lok eyeing the model ships in and around his desk. Rhys was fond of old ships in the way people were fond of old internal combustion land vehicles or early Aeroplanes. One or two were non-Federation but most were old classes of ship. The model of USS Lichfield had pride of place though. The ship his mother had been Chief Engineer of. Even though his attachment to the Excelsior class likely had a lot to do with his mother having served on one, there was something appealing about it in any case. There was a tinge of sadness when he looked at the model however, considering the ship and his mother’s ultimate fate at Wolf-359.

He was not surprised at Lok’s interest. He was part of the engineering staff, they always noticed the models before anything else in the room. Some people noted the picture of Rhys as a young boy with his parents, or the fact that there were a few real books around, but the engineers fixated on the ships.

Rhys noted that his touch caused Lok’s ears to point up and his tail to swish. Rhys for a moment was worried that the touch had been a mistake. However, when his patient began to answer Rhys’ question, the counsellor relaxed a little. Rhys sat and nodded slightly as Lok spoke.

The Welshman’s face reddened just a little as the feline seemed to move in closer. Rhys tried to keep thoughts out of his head of running his hands over Lok’s chest. He failed…badly. Rhys squeezed Lok’s thigh a little more firmly both in sympathy at what was being said and also to keep his hand occupied.

Rhys listened quietly in silence. When he was sure Lok had stopped, he spoke. “Feelings are very subjective things. Comparing your hardships to someone else will always make you feel worse.” It was an easy trap to fall into, Rhys had done so himself on many occasions. “Things can happen that affect people in different ways.” Rhys mulled over his thoughts for a moment.

“Also everything that has happened to you has happened very quickly. You go into stasis and…” he clicked his fingers “…everything is changed. Some others on board have had more time to get used to what has happened.”

Rhys smiled “And old? If you are you certainly don’t look it.” His eyes seemed to flick over Lok for a moment. Then Rhys’ face pinked a little more as he realised how flirty that sounded. Quickly hoping to move past his feelings of embarrassment and arousal, he searched around for another topic. “What was the screwup in the shipyard? Are you ok to tell me about that?” He squeezed again.

Re: (2381) USS Theurgy: Got My Mind Set on You

Reply #8
[CPO Avandar Lok | Counseling Offices | Deck 13 | Vector 03 | USS Theurgy] Attn: @Juzzie

Lok felt the squeeze of his muscular thigh and sensed the sudden rush of Rhys’s aroused thoughts that further fueled his own, making it a little difficult to focus on the task at hand. It dawned on him though as Rhys talked about ways of feeling worse, that he hadn’t actually told the counselor that he was empathic. The handsome man obviously wouldn’t have known going in due to the classified status of Kzin physiology. It would probably be best to tell him, Lok thought to himself, remembering that most other species aren’t so open about their thoughts and emotions as the Betazoids that had raised him.

“Yeah some things can”, he began reaching up with his right hand to rub the back of his neck as he did his best to find the words he was looking for, “other things can affect me especially more than others.” He studied Rhys a moment, momentarily lost in his blue eyes before catching himself, he wondered if the counselor had noted his hint at being empathic. Luckily Rhys didn’t seem to pay it much mind or, perhaps distracting from his flirtatious comment, asked about the incident that eventually landed Lok here. Though considering his current company it wasn’t all bad. Relieved for the moment to talk about something a bit more in his wheelhouse, Lok stopped rubbing the back of his head and set his hand down by his thigh only centimeters away from Rhys’s own hand.

Lok took a moment to gather his thoughts, to him the whole thing happened a year ago though by now it was approaching two. “Well it was aboard the Perseus, brand new Sovereign Class ship, still had that new starship smell”, he paused a moment to smirk over his bit about the new starship smell then continued, “but yeah I was assigned to her in preparation for a ten year mission to explore in the direction of the galactic core and study black holes or something the egg-heads were interested in. Anyway we got three years into this mission then one day, BOOM-” with his left hand he made a gesture of an explosion “-starboard nacelle suffers some catastrophic failure and shits the bed, we nearly lost the ship, then had to limp our way back home at only half speed, luckily we had made a bunch of detours on the mission  so hadn’t gone super far because it only took us a year to get back to Earth.”

 His gesturing momentarily complete, Lok reached down to take a drink of coffee, noting the cup had cooled a bit since they had started their session. His thirst quenched, Lok continued. “Once we got back to Earth and the engineers took a look they found the ship was a lemon, to use a human term, rushed construction for the war led to a manufacturing flaw in the main plasma flow regulator for the nacelle, so when that failed, you know boom, all that released energy wrecked the warp engine.”

He wondered how much, if any, engineering knowledge that Rhys had. Lok of course was not technically an engineer, his specialty was maintenance and repair which fell under operations but he did have to know a fair bit in order to do his job. Plus, while he worked on fighter engines for a living, a warp core is a warp core is a warp core as he liked to say. Point was he hoped he wasn’t boring the counselor with any engineering related details.

“After that was all figured out they said a full repair would take something like six months, which of course was six months of a starship crew with nothing to do so Starfleet decided to take people and send them off to other ships to bolster their crews. I ended up getting a promotion to chief and was sent here, which I was actually pretty excited about, I mean, newest most advanced ship in the fleet, it’s almost like getting a ticket to the Enterprise.”

“But I guess my luck ran out”, he said with a dejected sigh, “because not even a full day here and this shit starts and I nearly get spaced so they put me on ice for six months.” Suddenly he realized that he had been talking this whole time without even giving Rhys a moment to get a word in edgewise, granted he was a therapist and typically their job is to listen and observe, but he felt the need to apologize anyway. “Sorry, I guess just something I’m familiar with that isn’t about me so much I kind of got to rambling.”

He gave a bashful smile and looked back to meet Rhys’s steely blue eyes once more.
CPO Avandar Lok | Head of Fighter Propulsion & Asst. COD - "The world I have known is lost in shadow..."

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