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CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Doubtful Counseling
Stardate 57654.06
April 18, 2381
09:00 hrs.
Day 3

[Ensign Kyle Jensen | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 9 | Vector 2 | USS Theurgy | Aldea] Attn: @PCHaring

Kyle was poised outside the Counselors' Offices; they had made the appointment several days ago but with all the recent events, he had to reschedule the appointment. Standing at the door, Kyle was replaying the events aboard the Klingon IKS May'siq, realizing that the outcome could have been drastically different. Had he made the right choice to be direct with Daa'maq instead of playing things a little more cautiously, he thought to himself, "Why am I second-guessing myself, Captain Jien has given me this second chance to prove myself and I am beginning to doubt my instincts, instincts that have gotten me through one tough time in my life to another. Get it together Kyle." He was starting to become a little more comfortable with his name but knew it would take more time. He still was caught off guard when called by his new name and didn't always immediately respond to it.

Kyle decided he had waited long enough; he needed to enter the Counseling Department and begin his session. He entered the room into the office and looked around the waiting area and noticed two doors, one on the left and one on the right. He took a seat and waited for Counselor Hathev. As Kyle began to think about the recent events, Counselor Hathev came out of one of the two rooms and motioned for him to join her in her Counseling Office. Kyle got up and walked towards the office, he stepped in and was slightly surprised that the room was modestly decorated and presents a warm and inviting space; after all, Hathev was Vulcan so he assumed that the office would have more of a spartan appearance.

Kyle took a seat on the therapy couch across from Hathev. "A couch? Kind of human isn't it?", Kyle thought to himself with a little internal chuckle. Kyle sat, adjusting himself to get comfortable, assuming that this meeting might take a little while. He stared at the counselor for a moment, her posture indicated that she was inviting Kyle to initiate the conversation. "Goodmorning Lieutenant Commander, how are you doing today?", Kyle started, expecting nothing other than an emotionless response.


OOC: First post woohoo!
[Ens. Jensen | Science Officer - Temporal Mechanics | USS Theurgy]

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] - Doubtful Counseling

Reply #1
[Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 09 | Vector 02 | U.S.S. Theurgy] Attn: @brett620

It had not been too often that Hathev saw patients in the departmental offices.  Thus far most of her sessions had been in her personal office attached to the main sickbay on deck 11.  In her previous assignments there had been solely one office, one place to see her patients.  She was not accustomed to having a counseling space separate from her dedicated office.  While she suspected she would continue to hold sessions in her office, she also suspected she would spend more time in this space.  She would need to ensure her database was fully updated.  Despite her time on board, she had not availed herself of the opportunity to update it.  Theurgy had only recently been permitted back onto the Federation network albeit through backdoor.  She did not know the technical ramifications.  But she had been advised that while access was available, it ought to be used sparingly.  Hathev had no intention of utilizing the connection more than just once.  Afterall, if the Federation thought her dead, she would not dissuade them of that notion.

“Thea, at the next opportunity, would you kindly download my database backup from the Federation network and append it to my local database aboard Theurgy.  Please ensure my local is not uploaded to the network.”

[Encryption protocol activated. Accessing subspace relay network. Processing...]

Hathev waited while Thea processed her request.  She would not have her network backup updated as doing so would only risk discovery that she was, in fact, not deceased.

[Download complete.]

She verified the data on her screen as a gentle alarm beeped, alerting her to the time.  She silenced the alarm, rose from her seat, and crossed to the door.  Opening it, she stepped out and motioned for him to enter. 

She took her seat across from the Ensign.

“Greetings, Ensign.  I am well, thank you.  Please make yourself comfortable and feel free avail yourself of the replicator should you so desire.”

She waited patiently for Ensign Jensen to situate herself before she spoke.

“Before we begin this session, I believe it necessary to advise you that I am aware of your previous identity, though I am not privy to the details of how it came to be.  Furthermore, unless I have sufficient reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or to those around you, I am required to hold anything and everything you disclose to me in the strictest confidence, not to be shared without your prior consent. 

She paused to sip her latte.

I tell you this not to steer the conversation, but to assure you that you may speak freely to me on any topic you deem relevant.”

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] - Doubtful Counseling

Reply #2
[Ensign Kyle Jensen | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 9 | Vector 2 | USS Theurgy | Aldea] Attn: @P.C. Haring

Kyle thought for a moment and decided that he would take Hathev up on the offer of the use of the replicator. He stood from the couch and walked over to the replicator, upon arriving he thought, What should I get to drink? Should I get a Raktajino? No, too Klingon." He pushed a few buttons on the replicator as if scrolling through a menu, "Computer, coffee black, hot." The replicator chirped and then Kyle watched and listened as the beverage materialize on the replicator pad. He picked up the coffee mug, brought it to his lips and took a sip. He turned and walked back to the couch and took his previous seat.

Hathev revealed that she was aware of his previous identity, Kyle was told by Captain Jien that this information would only be shared on a need to know basis which probably includes all of the Senior Officers.

Commander, I appreciate your candor. It all started at The Coreless Moon in the Azure Nebula. I was asked by Deputy ThanIda zh'Wann to send a message to the Chanellor Martok of the Klingons, but after reviewing the message, I not only did not transmit it to Martok, I sent the message to his son Captain Drex with an encoded message of my own providing our coordinates and instructions to destroy the pre-Khitomer Accords base.

Kyle looked down at his coffee he was still holding, the mug it was still very warn and he a drink of his coffee and then looked back at Hathev

When I sent that message, I did not realize how close the IKS Hakkarl was to us at The Coreless Moon. I believed that we had enough time to complete our mission and withdrawal. I was wrong and because of that all those Klingons died.

He looked down again at his drink, reflecting on the recent events that lead him to this point.

After a few moments, he looked back up at Hathev. It's true, I was once a spy for the Klingons. I was picked by Chancellor Gowron, to become an agent in the Imperial Intelligence, because half breeds are not worthy enough to serve in the KDF. This was not the life I wanted but the life I got on Qo'noS. When I was tasked with infiltrating Starfleet, I saw this as an opportunity escape from this life that I had thrust upon me.

He paused and stood, starting to pace. He was getting frustrated with his past, and himself for his actions over the years.

I joined the USS Theurgy after the Battle of Starbase 84 and I started making friendships, but after the the incident on The Coreless Moon, things will never be the same with those people. I've lost my arm and an eye, for WHAT some sense of loyalty that I had to the Klingons. The same Klingons that saw me as nothing but a pawn to be used against the Federation? I have betrayed the only people that I cared about for some sense of Klingon loyalty.

He continued to pace back and forth.
[Ens. Jensen | Science Officer - Temporal Mechanics | USS Theurgy]

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] - Doubtful Counseling

Reply #3
[Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 09 | Vector 02 | U.S.S. Theurgy] Attn: @brett620 

Hathev sat and listened as Ensign Jensen explained, in brief, what had happened.   Despite their status as allies of the Federation, Hathev had held Gowron in exceptionally low regard.  During his time as Chancellor his actions had struck her as motived more by politics than the good of his people.  It did not surprise her in the least that he had utilized a network of spies while at the same time reviling others who did the same as ‘having no honor’.  It was hypocrisy at its highest.  Martok, on the other hand could not have been any more the dynamic opposite of his predecessor had he tried, which is why it came as no surprise to her that he had reacted as he had. 

But matters of the politics of Klingon honor were not what mattered in this moment.  All that mattered were the matters of her patient’s mind.  There were many things to unpack in the Ensign’s words; his sense of loss and betrayal by his former colleagues in the Klingon Empire, his uncertainty as to how to start over, and the sense of betrayal he must feel towards Commander Trent.  In these moments, she often preferred to let the patient guide her and start tackling the issues as best as he saw fit.  It was not her place to dictate the priority. 
But he needed a nudge.

“Which weighs more heavily on your mind, Ensign?  Is it your feelings of betrayal from the Empire?  Is it your concern over the loss of friends and colleagues aboard ship?   Or is it the sense that you are, in essence, starting over from scratch?  What of the injuries you sustained because of your actions?  Is it something else entirely?”

The paused to allow Jensen to consider the question.

“I assure you,” she said,“there is no wrong answer to my inquiry.  I am attempting to ascertain where best to start our conversations as I believe that as we begin to address the concerns that are most important to you, the rest will follow in close succession.”

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Reply #4
[Ensign Kyle Jensen | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 9 | Vector 2 | USS Theurgy | Aldea] Attn: @P.C. Haring

Kyle stopped his pacing and looked at the Hathev, he took a moment to think about what the Commander asked him. "Well all those things are on my mind, betrayal, loss of friends, starting over and my injuries", Kyle thought to himself.

"What weighs on me?, Kyle he repeated to himself. Kyle was running that question through his head, over and over. This is something he has been asking himself for some time now. Kyle took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as he returned to his seat on the couch across from Hathev. Still in thought over the simple question of what weighs on him.

Kyle looked up at Hathev and said, "I have betrayed everyone I have come to care about, alienated them and used them." Kyle paused and lowered his face into his hands.

He raised his head up from his hands and said, "I have blood on my hands, I have been directly or indirectly responsible for so many deaths. Klingon and Starfleet alike are dead because of my betrayal."

Kyle paused, looking out the window into the darkness of space, "I want to set things right, I know that I will have to live with the blood on my hands, the lives that were lost due to my actions." Kyle stood up and walked to the window and stared out it looking into space.

"Counselor, I have no where else to go, no one else to turn to. Captain Ives has given me a chance to become a productive member of the crew again, but I do not know where to begin", Kyle said getting slightly choked up.
[Ens. Jensen | Science Officer - Temporal Mechanics | USS Theurgy]

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Reply #5
[Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 09 | Vector 02 | U.S.S. Theurgy] Attn: @brett620 

Hathev had not been with the crew during the incident at the Coreless Moon, but she’d read the logs, examined the reports, and read the briefing on Ensign Jensen’s particular circumstances and she found herself truly empathizing with her patent.  To a certain extent she was starting over, as were several other crewmen.  Eventually he might find solidarity in that, but for now he needed find his own inner peace.

She contemplated a more direct approach to this patient.  While she was loathe to tell her patients what she believed they needed to do, in lieu of preferring to guide them to their own self understanding.  But on occasion, she had found a firmer hand necessary to get the process started.  The fact remained that she was still unsure as to which way to go about this one.

The issue of his guilt required a more immediate response, even though resolution was likely very far off for the Ensign.

“The matter of starting over can be an intimidating one for anyone forced to do so.  As for where to start, I believe we can address that.  But before I do, I would like you to participate in a thought exercise.”

She set her drink down  and repositioned herself in her seat.

“Ensign, I want you to think back to the incident on the Coreless Moon. I want you to tell me what factors caused you to make the choices you made.  Please restrict your commentary to only information you had at the time and, for the moment, ignore any information you learned since then.”

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Reply #6
[Ensign Kyle Jensen | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 9 | Vector 2 | USS Theurgy | Aldea] Attn: @P.C. Haring

Kyle turned to look back out the window again. Thinking about what Hathev said he turned back towards his seat and took his seat. He looked down down at his drink that he had barely touched since getting it from the replicator, he took a swig of his coffee. "A thought exercise...", Kyle said. "Lieutenant Commander, before I go into all the details, I need you to understand that this information has been classified by the Captain and is not to be recorded in any official documents, and also I understand that as a Counselor you have an obligation to keep the following information confidential."

Kyle sat back in his seat trying to relax and remember where this all began. "It all started the day before going to the Coreless moon with Commander Trent in his office. He was 'interrogating' me in regards to the incidents on Starbase 84 and the circumstances that lead up to my former commanders death. " Kyle paused for a moment taking another drink from his cup. "Commander Trent was already suspicious of me and it eventually came down to me either being locked away in a brig for not revealing what happened on Starbase 84 or telling him what was going on, I waited until he turned off his monitoring equipment and disclosed what he wanted to know. I told him that I was an Imperial Intelligence Officer for the Klingons. Commander Trent told me that he was going to reveal all this to Captain Ives."

Kyle took another sip of his coffee and paused for a moment trying to recant all the events without including now known details.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
OOC: Sorry I am having to go back and try to find posts to complete this thread, I will have to post in smaller than ideal sections for the moment
[Ens. Jensen | Science Officer - Temporal Mechanics | USS Theurgy]

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Reply #7
[Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 09 | Vector 02 | U.S.S. Theurgy] Attn: @brett620 

Hathev gave the Ensign his time to collect his thoughts.  But instead of starting the thought exercise, he reminded her of the confidential nature of his past

“You are, of course, correct, Ensign.  As I said at the outset, I have been fully briefed by Captain Ives and I remind you that you may speak freely here.  Everything said here is is confidential and while I do maintain a patient file for you, as I do with all my patients, you may rest assured that your file has been given an added layer of security so that only I may access it.  In the event of my incapacitation, the only other individual authorized is Captain Ives hirself.”

Unlike her earlier conversation with Ms. Foster, Hathev did not see the need to explain the whole detail of how her department was laid out.  Instead it was more important to reassure him that his privacy and classified information was safe.

She sat back in her seat and sipped her own drink as Jensen continued to collect his thoughts.


OOC - No worries about the short post.   I'm okay with it while we go through this exchange.

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Reply #8
[Ensign Kyle Jensen | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 9 | Vector 2 | USS Theurgy | Aldea] Attn: @P.C. Haring

Kyle nodded at Hathev's reply and continued with the series of events, "Commander Trent and I had come to an understanding, I would be an intermediary for the Klingons and Theurgy. The following day I was assigned to an away mission to The Coreless Moon. After landing and discovering the true identity of the location as SuD Lang, the away team split up and Lieutenant ThanIda zh'Wann and I went to the Command Center to reestablish life support. While there she began asking me about Starbase 84, specifically the passing of my former supervisor, Lieutenant Simon Walt, I knew that there were rumors that I betrayed Lieutenant Simon Walt and killed him, but what most people don't know is that it was in self defense. This was the first person I have ever killed and as it turns out, it would not be the last."

Kyle took a pause and looked at his cup realizing it was empty. He stood up and walked over to the replicator, he placed his cup on the pad, pressed a button and watched his cup be recycled into the system and then pressed another button and a new cup of coffee appeared on the pad. He leaned forward, resting his head on the console. "I don't regret what I did, but I do dislike that it happened like that. Simon, my former supervisor, was an idiot who often stole my work, but I didn't kill him over petty reasons. It was an accident plain and simple. I was in over my head and I defended myself, had I been less clumsy or more prepared he would still be alive. I'm not a warrior despite my boasting to Commander Trent I took no pleasure in what I did on 84 it was nothing personal just self defense."

Kyle straightened back up, trying to regain his composure, he turned around with his cup of coffee and sat back down in his seat. "What came next was where the mission really took a turn. Lieutenant ThanIda zh'Wann had just given me the message that was to be sent to High Chancellor Martok. Commander Trent had promised me the ability to adapt and approve any messages that were sent between to Klingon Empire. By sending the message in its presented format, we could have caused more harm to the Klingon Empire than good. To add insult to injury, if I had sent the message to Martok, it would have marked me for death as a traitor to the Klingon Empire, this was something I told Commander Trent I had wished to avoid."

"I instead sent the message to Martok's son, Drex, believing that we could gain a line of communication that way and I could preserve my cover with Klingon Imperial Intelligence. Along with Captain Ives message I also attached another one for Drex.

My name is Hi'Jak, a loyal servant of Imperial Intelligence. I have found my way aboard the USS Theurgy. There may be merit to the words and warnings of it's captain, for they might have found a dark truth. However, speak not with High Chancellor Martok yet. Do so only once you have verified the severity of this situation, lest the Empire's response might make us all look like fools.

Furthermore, dispatch your ship, and destroy SuD Lang. Its coordinates have been compromised.
"
[Ens. Jensen | Science Officer - Temporal Mechanics | USS Theurgy]

 

Re: CH06: S [D03|0900] Doubtful Counseling

Reply #9
[Lt. Cmdr. Hathev | Counseling Department Offices | Deck 09 | Vector 02 | U.S.S. Theurgy] Attn: @brett620

Despite everything she had been through, it was easy for Hathev to remain impassive, emotionless and objective as she listened to Ensign Jensen’s retelling of the situation he had found.  She was unsure as to why his transmitting to Chancelor Martok would have marked him for Death, but at the same time she understood the irrelevance of the question.  The why of the situation did not matter.  Similarly, she was not aware of the significance of SuD Lang to the Klingons.  But agian, her intimate knowledge of that detail was also not required.  What had happened was the only thing that mattered. 

In many ways, she was learning about the incident as Jensen narrated his role in it.  She had not been on board during the events he recounted and thus held no pre-judgement of her patient or his actions. 

The Ensign paused in his narrative and worked to compose himself.  She let the silence sit for a moment, perhaps longer than absolutely necessary, and when he did not immediately continue, Hathev wondered if he expected her to respond.

She had no response to offer at the moment as the point of the exercise was to recount the narrative of what had happened.  Once he was finished with that, she might challenge some of his assumptions, but to do so without context would be both illogical and unwise.

- FIN

 
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