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Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Stardate: 557559.57
March 11, 2381
2000HRS

[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Outside Isel Nix's Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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Donna moved silently along the corridor, the only sound of her passage being the swish of her coat and the staccato beat of her 6-inch heels on the deck. She had waited all day for Isel to respond to her messages and for naught; the Vulpinian had ignored them all. With them scheduled to fly together in just 4 hours, Donna had had enough and decided not to wait any longer.

She had showered and dressed, planned and prepared for what was to come as best as she could and was now walking the ship’s halls towards her prey’s lair. She was on the hunt, using everything at her disposal to accomplish to complete her mission.

Isel Nix had once told her that the best ways to her heart were through her mouth or between her legs; and both of them would agree that Donna Petterson was no cook. So, she was aiming for the other method and hoping that it would work. If it didn’t, well, Donna didn’t know what she would do. She had let Isel escape once from her life and wasn’t planning on allowing that to happen again. But if Isel didn’t want her anymore, could she really argue.

Standing outside the Vulpinian’s door, Donna began to doubt if she was going about this the right way. Were 6-inch heels too much? A full-length coat belted tight? What about what was underneath it?

“Too late for doubts,” Donna told herself as she pressed the chime, signalling to Isel that someone was at her door. “It’s now or never.”

Re: SD: 57559.57: Explanations and Reparations

Reply #1 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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Isel paced back and forth across the carpet of her dimly lit quarters, too agitated to stay still for long. As she moved, her tail swished back and forth, as though trying to expend some of the annoyance and energy pent up inside her. Through the viewports the stars could be seen drifting past, a sight that would usually calm and cheer Isel, though at the moment she paid them no mind. Her neck still stung where the vital signs monitor had been adhered to her skin, though the device itself had since been removed. Dealing with the Doctor again, while brief, had been yet another addition to her mounting irritation. Donna had repeatedly messaged her throughout the day, though Isel had promptly deleted the messages.

Oh, she had been annoyed at the fact that Donna knew the doctor. She had been infuriated by that same doctor. She was damn well fed up with this whole ship, if she was being honest, and she hadn’t even been aboard the Theurgy that long.

The simple truth was, she felt frustrated that she had allowed herself in this mess in the first place.

Frustrated that Donna had blackmailed her into taking this mission.

Frustrated that joining the Theurgy now had her branded as a traitor.

Frustrated that she was getting shot at by Starfleet, Klingons, Borg, and who knows who else.

But most keenly, she felt frustration at the fact that Starfleet Intelligence had turned on her, threatening to let harm come to the children if she hadn’t gone along with their plan. Was this really the same organization that she had risked so much for? Was this really the new life she had started when she fled the Syndicate?

Isel sighed then, finally coming to a stop in front of the viewport. She let her gaze drift out over the stars, wondering if Donna had delivered the message to Captain Ives yet.

The fucking thing better be worth it… Isel thought absently as she crossed her arms over her chest. She glanced over to her side table, to the drawer that contained the photograph she had brought with her from the Dauntless. The only personal possession she’d brought with her.

It is if it keeps them safe. Isel reminded herself, staring at the closed drawer a moment longer before gazing back out the viewport.

She was pulled from her thoughts when the door chimed, alerting her to someone outside. Isel thought she could guess who it might be.

”Enter.” Isel called, allowing the person access. As the doors hissed open, the rush of air introduced from the corridor carried Donna’s scent to her, confirming her suspicions. Isel didn’t turn form the window, keeping her back to the Human woman who entered her personal quarters.

”What do you want, Donna?” Isel asked without looking away form the stars, her voice sounding more tired than angry.

Re: SD: 57559.57: Explanations and Reparations

Reply #2 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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Isel knowing it was her without needing to turn to look didn’t surprise Donna in the least. She knew how sensitive the Vulpinian’s nose was and if she hadn’t burnt Donna’s scent into her mind when they were at the Academy, then she probably had some time in the last few days. From necessity if nothing else. Still, she hadn’t here to marvel over Isel’s sensory abilities.

“I came to clear the air between us,” Donna declared, stopping in the middle of the room. Isel’s quarters were practically a mirror of her own assigned lodgings with all the same fittings. “Something is bothering you; I can tell. And I don’t think it is just my familiarity with Doctor Rez.”

“But I’m not a mind reader Isel,” Donna said, stating the obvious while folding her arms under her breasts for no other reason than comfort; the coat she was wearing hiding everything between her neck and ankles. “I need you to tell me what it is that is eating at you. Only then can I do anything to fix whatever it is that is turning you cold towards me.”

“I swore myself to you, Isel Nix,” Donna reminded the fox. “And you’ll have to throw me out of your quarters if you want me to leave because I am not going until we fix what is between us.”

Re: SD: 57559.57: Explanations and Reparations

Reply #3 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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I swore myself to you, Isel Nix.

The words resounded in Isel’s head, causing her to frown at she continued to stare out the viewport. She didn’t like the sound of those words. She understood the sentiment Donna was putting behind them, though the words themselves bothered the hell out of her.

”Don’t say that.” Isel said softly, keeping her arms crossed as she finally turned away from the view and faced Donna. ”I don’t want you fucking sworn to me. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with me. That sounds to much luck fucking ownership, and I don’t want to own you.” Isel sighed, her shoulders sagging. ”I was a slave, remember? That shit… well… I want you to be with me because you want to be with me. Not because of some fucking messed up sense of obligation.” Isel’s mismatched eyes held a measure of sadness as she spoke those words, memories of the early years of her past life playing out in her mind’s eye.

”Look, I was pissed earlier, yeah. But I was also tired, concussed, and exhausted from fighting our way to this forsaken-ass ship.” Isel’s arms uncrossed, and she made emphatic hand gestures as she continued to speak, her tail swishing behind her telling of her agitation. ”The last couple of days have been a fucking whirlwind, Donna. Things weren’t turned upside down, they were fucking sent spiralling down the mother fucking rabbit hole!” Isel began pacing, her tail continuing it’s erratic movements. ”We’ve literally been shot at by everyone we’ve encountered, half of who were supposed to be on out side. We’re fucking Starfleet for fuck’s sake!” Isel turned to Donna, her eyes wide in with a mixture of bewilderment, fear and frustration. ”What the fuck happened, Donna? When did things get so fucked up? When did Starfleet start killing it’s own? And turning on people, using them for it’s own fucking devices?” Isel turned away again, still not having fully registered the long coat Donna wore tightly tied at the waist.

”This is not the fucking organization that I defected to when I left the Syndicate! The whole thing is fucked up. I didn’t risk my ass all those years for this fucking bullshit!” Isel wheeled around again, her teeth bared in anger now. ”Since when does Starfleet threaten the safety of children?”

Isel turned away again, lashing out with her arm and sending the lamp on the small side table by the window sailing across the room, shattering on the wall several feet away. Isel remained there for a time, shoulders rising and falling as she breathed, trying to calm herself. A few moments later, she lifted her head, looking out the viewport once more.

”I know I acted horribly in sickbay,” Isel confessed, her voice small now, ”I mean, yeah, I was a little jealous, but that wasn’t the main problem. This shit is just all so fucked up and overwhelming. I don’t give a shit about you and the blonde doctor’s history. I’ve got plenty of history of my own…” Isel turned, looking at Donna, her rant finally seeming to wind down, the anger slowly being extinguished as the pent up anger and frustration streaming out of the Vulpinian subsided. Tears were building in the Vulpinian’s eyes, a result of the combination of frustration and despair that the diminutive woman felt.

”What the fuck are we going to do, Donna?” Isel asked, her voice on the verge of cracking, "This is all so fucked up! What are we going to fucking do?"

Re: SD: 57559.57: Explanations and Reparations

Reply #4 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife 
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Donna stood there, unmoving, as Isel let loose everything she had apparently been holding inside her. And it was a lot. Some of it Donna agreed with, understood and sympathised with. Other bits she was worried about, thinking that Isel needed a few sessions with one of the ship’s counsellors to help her sort out her past and its relation to the present. Donna had been a slave a few times for missions over the years but that was nothing compared to what Isel had been, had done. Donna herself was far from innocent in some of her own actions over the years but she had always found a way to justify those actions; if only barely.

“I met with Captain Ives this morning. I don’t know everything yet and what I do know I want to confirm before I say anything but we’re now mixed up in some weird shit that is way beyond our pay grades,” Donna admitted, forgetting for the moment why she had come to Isel’s quarters in the first place. “But that shit has people seeing enemies everywhere while the true enemy is hiding in plan sight, pulling the strings. And this ship, the Theurgy and its crew, are the single biggest threat to them succeeding in their plan.”

“As for earlier, I don’t care about that and I don’t hold it against you. I was just as surprised as you that she was here. But that doesn’t matter. I love you and I was going to tell you about her just as soon as we were alone again. But you stormed off before I got the chance,” Donna explained keeping her voice calm and even, trying to steady Isel as best she could. “Again, I understand why. And I stayed away to give you as much time as I could settle down.”

“I love you Isel and that is never going to change,” Donna declared firmly. “I’ve never said those words to anyone else before, even during my time undercover. Now, I don’t know what we are going to do after this. I don’t have any plans or a mission to fulfil. If you wanted, we could both go down to Aldea and we could just disappear,” Donna explained, confident that between them they could succeed. “You just say the word.”

“But, something here isn’t right. I think you know and feel that just as much as I do,” Donna continued. “It is causing people to act in ways that they shouldn’t and I for one want to know why. Do you?”

“Oh, before I forget. Admiral Anderson apologises for threatening the kids. He says he had no intention of harming them but needed a way to motivate you into helping me,” Donna added, needing to pass the message on even with how useless it would be. Threatening kids was a low blow, even by her standards

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #5 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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Isel listened as Donna spoke, hearing the other woman’s words but not fully paying attention to them. At first Donna sounded as though she were giving a mission report, speaking of her meeting with Ives. She went on to say she understood Isel’s reaction in sickbay and didn’t hold it against her, adding that she had stayed away to give Isel time.

Then Donna said she loved her, explaining that she’d never said those words to anyone before. Isel stared at Donna, her mind drawing up blank as Donna continued to speak. Donna kept speaking, saying something about Aldea, though Isel didn’t catch what it was.

She loved her?

Isel had been in the midst of a meltdown, and Donna throws that in her face? Isel was mixed up before, but that threw her for a loop. Isel's mind struggled to process the information, her mouth agape as Donna continued to speak. Isel almost seemed to be calming, her heart giving her a strange sensation, until Donna uttered another piece of information, almost as an afterthrought.

”Oh, before I forget. Admiral Anderson apologizes for threatening the kids…”

Isel’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click, her eyes suddenly blazing to life with the fiery heat violent anger. At her sides, the diminutive Vulpinian’s hands balled into fists, and her upper lip curled back in what would have been a full-blown snarl had she been in her natural form.

”Oh, he apologized, does he?” Even in her humanoid form the words sounded like a low growl as they slipped through clenched teeth. ”How nice of the good Admiral to apologize for fucking blackmailing me!” Isel glowered at Donna as she spoke, her rage clearly visible in the tensing of her body. ”He fucking well should apologize, Donna! That fucking prick is supposed to be a Starfleet officer! Last I fucking checked, blackmail, coercion and uttering threats against children weren’t considered to be conduct befitting a fucking Starfleet officer! But it’s ok now, right? Your precious Admiral apologizes!”

Isel took a step closer to Donna, looking up into the taller woman’s eyes. ”Admiral fucking Anderson can stuff his brass-covered ass out the nearest fucking airlock as far as I’m concerned, Donna.” Isel hissed, the muscles of her jaw aching from clenching her teeth. ”I agree, something is severely fucked up with this whole situation. But if your friend Admiral Anderson is supposed to be one of the good guys, then we’re well and truly fucked, because that motherfucker is no more fit to be a Starfleet officer than these worms or whatever that Ives and the others think have infiltrated Starfleet Command.” Isel sighed then, the tension releasing from her tiny frame as she turned away from Donna and made her way back to the viewport. Her mismatched eyes watched the stars drift past, the anger they had held just moments before once again being replaced with sorrow.

”Fuck,” Isel said, her voice soft and only just above a whisper, ”if this is what it’s come to, I would have been better off staying in the fucking Syndicate.”

OOC: I’m so sorry for the long delay in posting!

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #6 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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“I’ve made a mistake. She isn’t ready. She’s too angry at what’s been done, greater good or not, to be able to relax,” Donna thought to herself as she folded her arms across her chest, feeling the material of the coat caress the skin below it. She had hoped to be able to get through to her Vulpinian companion but it seemed that Isel was still just too worked up. She’d try one last thing and if that didn’t work, she was going to go. As much as she loved and wanted to be with Isel, she didn’t want to be with her when she was like this.

“Isel, we both know you don’t mean that,” referring to Isel believing she would have been better to stay in the Syndicate. “If you weren’t dead by now, then you would be dead inside, which would actually be worse. You’re a good person Isel Nix, and you make me want to be a good person. And I don’t want you to feel this way. So, you tell me what you want to do.”

“We can transport to the planet and be gone before anyone realises. We’ll find a nice beach on a deserted rock and live out our days with no one the wiser,” Donna offered sincerely. “Or if you want to go back to the Syndicate, we’ll go there. Whatever makes you happy, I just need to know so I can make it happen.”

“Or I can just go and leave you alone,” Donna went on slowly. “You tell me.”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #7 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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Isel listened as Donna spoke, knowing the Human was right about the Syndicate. There was a reason she had left. Isel had just thrown that remark out there as a result of her frustration. Donna went on, laying out options for Isel to choose from, like a mother forcing a child to make a choice. Not that Isel really remembered what that was like. She hadn’t seen her mother in over 30 years. Isel gritted her teeth as Donna laid out what she considered to be the options, knowing the other woman meant well but wanting to shake her nonetheless.

”Fucking hell, Donna!” Isel said as she wheeled about to face her. ”I don’t know what the fuck I want to do! I’m all fucked up right now!” The words were an honest admission, albeit sounding harsher than she had intended since her voice was still very much raised. ”What I don’t need is you coming in here and giving me a status update on your meeting with Ives, or passing on Admiral fucking Anderson’s regards! And I don’t need to be told to pick our next course of action like this is some sort of freakin’ away mission!”

Isel paused and took a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with tears as she spoke, voice still raised. Her arms she held out in front of her in an almost pleading gesture. ”What I need is for you to stop being fucking Starfleet for ten minutes and act like someone who just told me they loved me!” Isel’s voice cracked with emotion as she stared at Donna almost helplessly, looking for all the world like someone utterly lost and defeated. ”Don’t give me a mission update! Give me a fucking hug! Tell me everything is going to be ok! Tell me we’re going to fucking get through this holy hell cluster-fuck of a shitshow!”

Isel threw her arms up and her head back, then let out an exasperated ”Ugh!” at the ceiling before returning her gaze to Donna, the tears having spilled down her cheeks in glistening trails. Isel let her hands fall limply to her sides and dropped her gaze to the floor, slowly walking towards Donna. She stopped mere inches from the other woman, then leaned forward and bumped her head into Donna’s chest, letting her forehead continue to rest against the other woman as she spoke again, her face still angled towards the floor. When she continued, her voice was much quieter; barely audible and sounding utterly miserable. ”You could pet my tail and call me fluffy for all I fucking care. Just stop acting like Lieutenant Petterson and act like Donna. Act like my fucking lover. Act like my girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #8 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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“I can do that,” Donna replied simply to Isel’s pleading, shuffling forward and wrapping her arms around the Vulpinian. Dropping her head, Donna pressed her cheek into the white hair of her lover, trying to offer her everything she could that Isel would take. She had no idea if it was working but Isel wasn’t backing way, so she took that as a good thing.

“This night is not going at all how I envisioned it was going to go,” Donna thought to herself as she started to rub Isel’s back gently. The original plan was thrown out the window and Donna was now improvising; or rather, she was reacting to what Isel was telling her to do. “If that is what it takes to stay with you and make you feel better, then I’ll do whatever you tell me to do while off duty,” Donna promised herself.

She wasn’t sure how long the two of them stood there in each other’s arms and she didn’t exactly care either. But soon enough certain parts of her anatomy began to complain about their present circumstances and Donna decided that they, for reasons she wasn’t sure she wanted to explain now, needed to move to a different position. And maybe a change of clothes was in order.

“Isel, ah, as much as I love being in your arms, would it be possible to move this to somewhere more comfortable?” Donna asked calmly yet carefully. “My, ah, feet are getting a little sore.”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #9 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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Isel felt Donna shuffle forward slightly, though she didn’t raise her head to look at the other woman. She felt Donna’s arms encircle her, felt Donna’s head lower and her cheek come to rest on Isel’s head. Isel closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, letting her senses of touch and smell assure her of Donna’s close proximity while at the same time trying to hold back the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Relief and fear. Affection and despair. Longing and anger. They were all battling to break free, threatening to send tears cascading down her face as they racked her with sobs. Isel fought back the emotional onslaught, and only when she was sure she’d gotten them in check did she raise her arms to encircle Donna’s waist, burying her face in the coat the other woman wore.

She felt Donna’s hand run along her back, the sensation having a comforting affect on the Vulpinian. She could feel her heartrate slow, her breathing becoming less ragged. The tears which had threatened to flood her vision subsided, and Isel began to feel that everything would be alright. Isel lost track of time, feeling comfortable and safe in Donna’s arms, and jumped when Donna finally spoke to ask if they could go somewhere more comfortable. Isel stepped away from Donna, releasing her grip on the Human’s waist. She looked the Human up and down as Donna mentioned her feet were getting sore. Isel’s eyes focused on the aforementioned feet, seeing that they were currently sporting very large heels.

”Really, Donna? Your feet hurt? I wonder why?” Isel asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm and lacking anything even hinting at sympathy, though a note of amusement was clear in her tone. ”Could it possibly be those insane things you’ve got strapped to them?” Isel rolled her eyes theatrically, shaking her head as she reached out and took Donna’s hand. ”I don’t get you Humans. Why do you wear those sorts of shoes if you know they’re going to hurt? Isel turned and led Donna towards the bed so that she could sit and rid herself of the torturous footwear. ”I mean seriously! You’re an evolved and spacefaring species. You’ve built warp drives, transporters and all sorts of incredible technology, but you still put on footwear that’s painful, bad for your back and which makes it difficult to fucking stand upright, let alone walk. I don’t fucking get it.” Isel glanced over her shoulder at Donna, giving the taller woman a sharp-toothed smile. ”It’s a good thing you’re cute!”

Isel stopped then, turning to inspect the other woman further. She had been in such a state when Donna arrived that she hadn’t noticed what the Human was wearing, though now that she took in the 6-inch heels and the full length coat, something seemed to click in her head. Isel’s eyes raised to meet Donna’s, her expression deadpan as the realization took her off-guard. ”You… you’re not any wearing any pants... are you…”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #10 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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“Well that’s a loaded question if ever I heard one,” Donna mused as she considered how to answer such a delicate question given their earlier conversations. Her original intentions on coming here had quickly proved unwise and now that things had changed, her current attire might just make the situation worse again. “But, if I lie to her, that will definitely make things worse. Better the risky path than the certain one in this case.”

“Well, ah, you see Isel,” Donna began slowly, trying to figure out a way to explain her original intent without upsetting the Vulpinian. “I ah, wasn’t sure how you’d react if I came here so I kind of relied on something you once said. That the best way to your heart was through your mouth or between your legs; and we both know I’m a terrible cook. But I want you to know that I came here with the best intentions. I wasn’t trying to be sneaky or underhanded or anything like that. I just needed a way to get through to you.”

“So, I ah, came here not expecting to be wearing the heels long, or if I was, not to be standing in them for as long as I have,” Donna continued uncomfortably, hoping to the stars that Isel would find the humour in this situation rather than be angry at her. “So, to answer your question, Isel my love,” Donna said, looking straight at her Vulpinian beloved and smiling gently. “No, I am not wearing any pants. Or anything else for that matter. Not really anyway.”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #11 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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As Donna began to speak, not yet answering Isel’s question, she explained that she wasn’t sure how Isel would react, and so relied on something Isel had once said. Isel stared at the Human as she repeated the words that she believed Isel had told her, unsure of how to respond.

Through my mouth or between… what?

Isel continued to stare in silence, a bewildered expression painted across her features as Donna continued. Donna explained that she hadn’t been trying to go about things in an underhanded way, but rather had been seeking a way to get through to Isel. She went on to explain that she hadn’t been planning on wearing the insane footwear for so long, or at least not standing on them.

Finally, Donna got around to answering Isel’s question, attempting to butter her up first with a “my love” before admitting that no, she was not wearing pants under the coat. Or anything, for that matter.

Isel took a deep breath, unsure of what to say in response to Donna’s admission, or the statement preceding it. She decided to address the odd statement first. ”Ok, hold up.” Isel said, holding her hand up with the palm facing Donna. ”I don’t know where you got that, but I don’t think I would have told you that. I may not have grown up on Inari Prime for the most part, but Vulpinians don’t equate sex and love. And yes, I’m a shitty Vulpinian since I didn’t really spend much time around my own people, but I got that much in the… uh… 21 Terran years that I spent on the Homeworld. I mean, fuck!” Isel laughed, shaking her head at the other woman. ”When the Federation brokered a peace accord during the Vulpinian civil war, the ambassadors finalized the accords with sex!” Isel chuckled, adding in a quieter tone. ”There’s not really a correlation between who I care about and who I screw." Isel paused, her expression turning thoughtful for a moment. "I do love food though… Oh! Especially these Human sandwiches I found in the replicator databanks! They’re called Reubens, and… well… never mind…”

Isel looked up at Donna, then sighed and gestured to the bed. ”You should probably sit, Donna. Get your feet off those fucking monstrosities that pass for shoes.” Isel turned and walked across the room to the replicator. She ordered herself a coffee, mulling over what she intended to do about the Human who seemed at that moment to think of her as little more than a sex maniac. She angled her head away form the replicator so Donna could hear her.

”Want anything?”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #12 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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“A do over of the last hour of my life,” Donna mused silently as she racked her brain for where she had heard that statement. She knew it was from during her time at the academy and she knew that she had been seeing Isel at the time. But despite how good her memory was, it wasn’t perfect, and she couldn’t remember who exactly had said it or when. And that lack of specifics was threatening to undo everything positive that they accomplished. “I need to do something before I crash and burn. And it can’t involve alcohol as my gut is telling me that that has to do with where I heard that line. Shit.”

“Ah, if I could just get a tracksuit, I’ll, ah, get changed and that,” Donna half mumbled, blushing a little. After the clothing arrived, Donna excused herself to the bathroom and quickly disrobed, removed what she had hoped would have been a pleasant surprise for Isel and then redressed into the newly replicated pants and jacket. That lack of any other clothing was not an issue for Donna; she’d worn less for much longer; modesty was no longer an issue for her.

“That’s better,” Donna said as she exited the bathroom, her under one arm and her shoes in the other hand. Setting everything down next to the door, she moved back to the replicator and ordered herself a bourbon. It was synthehol, which was a good thing in and of itself before moving to sit on couch. “I’m sorry that I keep messing everything up Isel. I’m usually much more in control of things; myself included.”

“So, ah, now that I have made a complete fool of myself, what would you like to talk about?” Donna asked, hoping that Isel wouldn’t just kick her out. She thought it would have happened by now if the Vulpinian was going to but so far, her assumptions about how everything was going were coming up short.

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #13 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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As Donna made for the head to change into the freshly provided tracksuit, Isel seated herself on her couch, cradling a coffee in her hands. Isel’s green and blue orbs stared down into the liquid darkness within the cup as she waited for Donna, her mind playing the events of the last few days over and over. Finally, she raised the mug and sipped, letting the mug lower back to her lap just as Donna emerged from the bathroom. Donna made for the replicator, ordering a bourbon before joining Isel on the couch. The Human began to apologize, stating that she’d made a fool of herself, and asking what Isel wanted to talk about.

Isel stared down into her mug for a long moment before a slight smile played across her lips. ”You didn’t mess anything up, Donna.” Isel hesitated, raising her gaze to meet the other woman’s. ”Well, no more than I did, at least.” Isel gave Donna a smile. ”You don’t have anything to apologize for, Donna. I’ve been the one who’s been unstable over the last few days. I know I’ve been a bit much to deal with…” Now that was an understatement, she knew. ”It should be me apologizing. I know I’ve been a fucking monster. I don’t know how you deal with it.” Isel giggled then, leaning over and bumping the other woman with her shoulder. ”And I don’t know about making a fool of yourself, but I will say you are a bit of a dummy for wearing those shoes!” Isel’s smile turned into a full-on grin then, her eyes lighting up as she poked fun at the taller woman. ”Those things were beasts. They should be banned under Federation law!” Isel nudged Donna again as she teased her, then shook her head with a chuckle and took another sip of her coffee. Having swallowed the bitter mouthful, Isel lowered the cup and sighed.

”Look, I…” Isel hesitated, unsure of what she wanted to say, ”there’s nothing in particular I want to talk about, Donna. I just… I just want to spend time with you. To talk about something other that mission reports, or Captain Ives, or Admiral fucking Andersson, or any of that shit.” Isel glanced at Donna out of the corner of her eye. ”Or the fact that you were walking around the ship wearing nothing but a trench coat…” She added as an amused smile played across her features once again.

”Look, I meant what I said. I don’t want to own you, Donna, but I do want to be with you. And I know I’ve been a lot to deal with lately, and I’m sorry.” Isel sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly. ”I’ve been fucked up. I… I think I need help.” Isel looked up at Donna with sad eyes. ”But that’s a later problem. Right now, I just want to be with you.” Isel gave Donna a rueful smile, reaching out and resting her hand on Donna’s forearm. ”A lot of shit has come to light, and it turns out we hardly know each other. I want to know more about you! Where did you grow up? Do you have any family? Why did you decide to become a spy Starfleet?” Isel's eyes narrowed as she giggled playfully. "Or was it just so you could bang hot Starfleet doctors?" Isel gave Donna's arm a light squeeze, hoping the other woman knew she was joking this time around.

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #14 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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“I actually like the shoes,” Donna interjected as Isel took a sip of her coffee. “Sure, they aren’t made for standing still in for very long but if you are wearing them you generally aren’t looking to be standing still either. Although plans can change. Remind me to tell you about Nihilus 3 one day,” Donna said casually, defending her choice in footwear. She was about to go on but a sigh from the Vulpinian stopped her.

“She’s probably right about the trench coat,” Donna mused silently as Isel continued to speak. “But I’d walk around in a lot less than that if she asked me too.”

“My past?” Donna said, almost whispering as her mind considered about how long it had been since she had even thought about it. Her training as an intelligence operative had taught her that having her focus anywhere, but the present was a distraction that could prove dangerous. It must have been, at least 5 years ago. Knowing herself though, she would have dismissed it as it wasn’t a part of her new identity. “My real one. Was a long time ago.”

“I was born on Earth, in a city called Sydney. Growing up, I lived in the mountains to the west of the city. It was peaceful. Until my parents died,” Donna revealed, gazing out the window at the space beyond. “After that, having no other family, I moved to Risa to stay with a friend of my father’s. At 17, I was accepted to the Academy on Beta Aquilae II. It was from there I was recruited into Starfleet Intelligence.”

“And I didn’t join to bang doctors, or anyone for that matter; although the job did have benefits,” Donna conceded. “I joined because I was offered it and at the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do exactly. Sometimes I still don’t.”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #15 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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Isel smiled at the woman sitting next to her on the couch, finding Donna’s defensive attitude towards her choice of footwear amusing. Isel couldn’t understand why Donna enjoyed wearing those shoes. Or any shoes, for that matter. Isel hated shoes, and socks even more so. The was one of the benefits of her Natural form, she reflected. No shoes.

Isel turned her mind back to the present as Donna began to speak, answering Isel’s questions about her past. She smiled as she listened to Donna speak briefly about where she was form, some place on Earth called Sydney, though Isel had never heard of it. Not that she was particularly familiar with Earth’s various cities, though Isel thought Donna’s description of the mountains where she grew up sounded beautiful. Then Donna dropped the ”until my parents died” bomb, and Isel’s smile faded, replaced by a look a sympathy. She’d lost her father at a young age, and her mother not too long after, so she felt for the Human. ”I’m sorry, Donna.” Isel murmured, reaching out and placing her hand on Donna’s shoulder.

Donna moved on with her narrative, talking of how she moved to Risa since she’d had no family left, staying on Risa until she got accepted into the Academy at 17. The number made Isel’s mouth twitch into a smile. Isel knew that Humans were considered mature at a much earlier age than her own species, though she never ceased to find it amusing. Isel had been 21 when she was sold on the Orion slave market, still considered a pup by the standards of her people. Isel wasn’t sure of Donna’s exact age, though she guessed the Human hadn’t even been born yet when Isel had been sold into slavery and entered the underworld of the Orion Syndicate. She’d heard a Human use a phrase to describe such an age difference before. Cradle robber, if she remembered correctly. The thought make Isel smile to herself as she listened on. Donna was informing her that she hadn’t joined Starfleet Intelligence to bang hot doctors, though she added that the job did have benefits. Isel chuckled softly and nudged Donna with her shoulder. ”Some benefits!” Isel teased, grinning up at Donna. ”I bet it was a real chore, enjoying the company of the likes of Doctor Rez.” Isel nudged Donna, her grin broadening. "Don't worry, I'm not going to flip shit again. She is pretty hot..."

Isel giggled and shook her head again before her expression turned more serious. ”I can’t say I really understand the “not knowing what you wanted to do” thing,” Isel admitted, ”though I never really had a choice in anything, except to become a pilot.” Isel looked up at Donna again, her expression on of reflection, with a hint of sadness. ”The Syndicate wasn’t exactly my choice. It was either join, continue being a slave, or die. Slavery and death didn’t seem overly appealing, so…” She shrugged, giving Donna an almost guilty smile. ”Turning informant for your lot wasn’t really a choice, either. It was that or prison. I, uh… had quite the list of charges that your Intelligence buddies could have nailed me with…” The smile turned impish, almost sinister as she continued. ”Though leaving the Syndicate was my choice. So was blowing up Analla’s base of operations, though apparently I should have used more charges.” Isel looked up at Donna, her eyes seeming alight with the memory. ”You should have seen that place go up! Pgheeew!” Isel raised her hands together and spread them apart as she made a noise with her mouth which was supposed to emulate an explosion, her eyes wide as if to convey the size of the blast. The expression faded as she continued. ”I still don’t know how the fuck that bitch survived…”

”Anyway, after I defected and turned rat… er… informant, I was put into witness protection, and “accepted” into Starfleet Academy, though refusal was never really an option. I think the SI bigheads just wanted to keep an eye on me, make sure I didn’t revert back to my old bad habits. So really, the only choices I’ve had were betraying Analla, trying to kill Analla, and joining Tac CONN once I was in the Academy. And freeing the kids.” A smile spread over Isel’s features at the mention of the children, not motherly, yet fond nonetheless. ”And my money.” Isel glanced at Donna with a rather theatrical sly expression. ”My ill gotten gains. I gave most of it away to the orphanage the kids were put in. I’d stolen the little ones away, so I had to make sure they were taken care of, you know?” Isel trained off then, and remained silent for a while before turning to look up at Donna.

”Sorry,” Isel said, the colour rising in her cheeks, ”I know you never really asked about my shit. I just sort of took over the conversation.” Isel’s mouth contorted in what appeared to be half guilty smile, half grimace. ”I, uh… have a bad habit of doing that…”

Isel leaned over and wrapped her arms around Donna’s closest arm, resting her head against the other woman’s shoulder. ”So how long were you in Intelligence for?” Isel asked, closing her eyes as she waited for Donna to continue, though she cracked one eye open as she added with a chuckle, ”and how long had you been out of it when I pounced on you at the Academy?”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #16 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife 
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“It’s one of your more charming traits, don’t worry,” Donna said, referring to Isel’s habit of taking over conversations. She wasn’t sure she could recall the number of times the Vulpinian had done that very thing during the entire time that she had known her. “It would probably be easier to count the number of times that she hasn’t taken over a conversation,” Donna considered, a smile creasing her face as she did. Internally, her mind was awash with everything that Isel had divulged to her. Some of it she knew and some of it was new, but she would worry about sorting it all out at another time.

“I was an active member of Starfleet Intelligence’s Covert Operations Department from ‘71 to ‘76. I joined right after I graduated from the Academy, through the whole Dominion War and into the time afterwards,” Donna recounted, trying not to be maudlin in her retelling. “A mission went bad in early ‘76 and my cover at the time was blown. Given the nature of the mission, and the standing bounty that was placed on my head, it was deemed that my time in covert ops was over. Too much risk in it.”

“I had thought that my life was over at that point. All the training, everything that I had done and experienced was now useless,” Donna recalled, remembering that day at the hospital like it was yesterday. “But Admiral Anderson, he made a different choice. He sat with me and together we created Donna Petterson. She was my age, had lived parts of my life that I didn’t want to lose. And with her, I was reborn, free to live a life anew, to be anyone or do anything that I chose too. I chose Starfleet again.”

“It wasn’t ideal of course, having to return to the Academy again,” Donna pointed out. “But it was necessary in order to solidify my new identity. And it proved useful in learning new skills and taking different classes to broaden my training,” Donna explained, smirking as another memory rose into her mind’s eye. “That day you pounced on me, that was the first day of Donna’s life. You gave me one of the best memory’s I have of her life. I am forever grateful for that.”

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #17 –
[ Ensign Isel “Foxfire” Nix | Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Stegro88
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Isel’s expression fell to one of dismay as Donna mentioned that she had been an intelligence operative throughout the Dominion War. That was a time that had not been great to Isel. While on the one hand, Starfleet Intelligence had not been such a problem for her during the war, the strain it had put on the illicit operations of the Syndicate had forced them to branch out in their endeavours, moving into certain areas of business that Isel would have rather avoided. It had been during that time that events had set her thinking in motion which would lead to her defection. And her attempt to murder Analla. Isel was about to voice those thoughts, but decided against it as she let Donna continue, not wanting to interrupt and take over the conversation again.

As Donna talked about the mission gone wrong, her change in identity and her reenrollment in Starfleet Academy, Isel couldn’t help but smile. They seemed to have had very similar changes in their lives, even if the pasts they were escaping were vastly different.

Isel shifted as Donna smirked and informed Isel that the day she’d been pounced on by the Vulpinian was the first day of Donna’s new life, and was of the best memories of that life, lifting her head to give Donna a somewhat abashed smile before closing her eyes and butting her forehead into Donna arm. As her forehead rested there, Isel softly murmured the words ”you dummy…”, her voice carrying a mixture of amusement and embarrassment in it’s tone. After a moment Isel raised her head from Donna’s arm, looking up at the Human with the slight hint of a blush in her cheeks and a look of mischief in her eyes.

”I have to admit, you were certainly the most attractive thing I’ve ever pounced on.” Isel admitted, giving Donna a broad smile. ”Though after that, it took me long enough to catch you!” Isel’s eyes narrowed, and she added the words ”wascally wabbit.”. She’d her the phrase in an old cartoon her roommate at the Academy had made her watch, and had always found the phrase amusing, though she’d never had an opportunity to use it before. She wasn’t sure why the words had popped into her head now. Perhaps the mention of the Academy had brought on the memory.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Isel rose from her position on the couch and gave a little hop, landing squarely in Donna’s lap with a grin and an uttered ”Gotcha!”. Isel shifted to make comfortable and wrapped her tail around behind Donna’s back before giving Donna an impish grin and looping her arms behind Donna’s neck. ”Now… what to do with you…”
 

Re: Day 01 [2000 hrs.] Explanations and Reparations

Reply #18 –
[ Lt. JG Donna ‘Chance’ Petterson | Isel Nix’s Personal Quarters | Deck 11 | Vector 02 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Fife
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"I was always told that the fun was in the hunt,” Donna commented as she enjoyed having Isel in her lap. That the Vulpinian was there was a good sign that their relationship wasn’t a total shipwreck. It might not have been what it once was or what Donna might hope it might be someday but that they still had something was a positive step over what the pilot thought she would have had earlier that day.

Two days ago, after only just rediscovering what Donna realised was the love of her live, or lives, she feared that she had lost her for good with what she had felt she had had to do. Once again, duty had collided with desire. And again, it had almost cost her everything. She wished she could say that it would never happen again, that she would put herself above the needs of others. But that was not who she was.

As much as Donna Petterson, skilled fighter pilot and lover of Isel Nix, was a part of her core; it was not the whole part. There were other portions of her, fragments of past lives, that made up who she was as a person. And a large part of that was a duty, a need, to protect others who were less capable of protecting themselves. That part of her would never change and Donna didn’t want it too.
But that was a consideration for another day. Another time. Now, now it was time to embrace the moment. They were alive, relatively safe and currently not hating or trying to kill each other.

“And I don’t know what you are going to do with me,” Donna said up to Isel as she brought her hands up to rest on the Vulpinian’s hips. “But if you let me, I know what I want to do to you.”

~FIN~
 
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