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Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #25 –
[Nathaniel "Maverick" Isley | Below Decks ] Attn: Below Decks team
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Nathan had been going solo for a while, aside from his report to Miles earlier in the day he had been going through various exersizes, anything and everything he could do to keep his mind off of the events of the preceeding days. Nightmare's death, and having to leave another wolf behind still haunted at him nagging at him with the idea that he could have done better. So much for his first command. He knew that had She been alive Nightmare would have dragged him out of his isolated manners, but as it was even after doing laps around several clear decks he was still very much lost for thought and words.

So he had decided to pull himself out of the funk. It was difficult, he had no desire to join people below decks, but there was a new wolf joining the team, and at the end of the day... they were still some form of a team.

He wasn't sure how much damage he had done to the wolves, part of him was still kicking himself in the head, but as it was he would go out of his way to at least try and meet everyone, at least he could try to make a difference for a little while and not be so isolated... who knew maybe he could even sweat talk his way into someone else's bed for a night!

Walking down below decks he was greeted by Rawley and gave a small smile and nod. "Not here for a fight... at least not today I just spent a few hours running laps, I think I need something to drink." He said setting himself down and gesturing for Rawley to poor him a glass of what ever she was drinking.

"Can't say I have." Maverick turned to look over the wolves. admittingly they were a tight group but these weren't the members he was closest too, He knew their names, and their faces, but hadn't gone out of his way to spend time with most of them. Watching the group size each other up, Maverick almost laughed at how childish it seemed to have a group about to fight with the new kid. He didn't really want to get pulled into a conflict it wasn't why he was here. "I'll let them punch it out first." He gave a causal smile, however his eyes were drifting towards Tessa.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #26 –
[ Fasha "Morrigan | Below Decks ]

Fasha could feel the strong Klingon alcohol finally taking hold over her senses hazing her mind and releasing her inhibitions. She poured herself another serving of Klingon drink and quickly wasted no time tipping the beverage down her throat the burn becoming an afterthought in comparison to the rapidly growing haze that was settling on her mind. She could already hear the voice of her Tal'Vashoth scolding her about letting such poison cloud her focus. She shut her eyes pushing away from the table her chair making an audible scrape as she did so. "I think I'll be calling it a night." Fasha said. She got to her feet and was immediately overcome with a sense of dizziness. She brought one hand to her forehead closing her eyes as she regained her bearings.

She stepped away from the table casting a short wave over her shoulder to bid farewell to her comrades before retiring to her quarters.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #27 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

Tessa would have left with Fasha, but it was obvious that Morrigan wasn't going to be awake long enough to be good company.  This was all so damned awkward.  The last thing she wanted right now was to meet someone new.  She just wasn't ready to meet the public right now, but it seemed unfair to abandon Slayton after he rammed his ship into the Calamity and said goodbye to everyone he knew.  If his story was true, he had been transferred to Dor'GhItlh Squardon by a clerical error, and was never one of Phantom's bullies in the first place.  Or had the Harbinger's pilots been the pride of Starfleet before T'Rena brainwashed them and let loose the dark part of their psyches?  

In any case Christopher Slayton was completely alone.  There was no way she could leave him that way.  He'd either spiral down into a self-destructive orgy of self-pity or he'd get fed up and find a way to betray them just like all of his shipmates did.  If there was any way to nip this in the bud, Tessa would have to take it.

"So... Slayton," Tessa piped up, trying to assist Nathan in deescalating things between Husker and Rawley.  Maybe they were flirting, but with the way things had been going so far Tessa wasn't going to hope for the best.  "Any relation to Marcus Slayton?"

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #28 –
[Husker| Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: All present in Below Decks

Chris had observed everything that was said around him and what not, feeling than slightly annoyed at the fact that the stigma of being the sole survivor of the Harbinger's squadron and the only one not involved in the heinous deeds was following him no matter what he did.

Chris went back over to the bar and was getting himself a bottle of Andorian Ale when from behind him he heard a female voice ask a simple question:

"So...Slayton. Any relation to Marcus Slayton?"

Chris almost lost his grip on the bottle as he quickly turned around to look at the speaker in one Tessa May Lance and gave her a questioning look. "Yeah, he's my oldest brother..why?" He asked with a hint of suspension in his tone at the sheer randomness of what was asked.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #29 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

"He was my first officer aboard the James Kirk," Tessa replied.  "I thought you looked like him.  Small universe huh?" she smiled before realizing that bringing up family members who thought one an outlaw was probably not the best way to break the ice.  Come to think of it, it was likely that a family member serving in the fleet would be a target for the Big Scary Conspiracy that had taken over Starfleet, meaning that it was just a matter of time before Marcus Slayton suffered an 'accident' or 'disappeared' once the BSC found out that Husker was serving aboard this ship.  She probably shouldn't have brought him up in the first place.

Her conversational smile faltered as her distress reached her eyes.  "S-sorry, just making conversation," she stammered.  "Ahem," she coughed into her fist.  "So... what made you join Starfleet?  The Dominion War, am I right?" she continued with a nervous smile.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #30 –
[ Evelyn Rawley | Below Decks | Deck 07 ]

Finding how Fasha excused herself for the night Rawley looked at her leaving, regretting that she wouldn't be able to speak more with Morrigan. At the same time, Tessa began to speak with Husker, making Evelyn unable to continue her banter with the new pup. That left her with Isley, whom she had yet to speak with in regard to Razor... but that was not really any conversation she looked forward to. She also knew, deep down, that Maverick had done the right call - all things considered - and it had been a tough call for everyone involved. Razor had been a part of the pack, and Isley had been forced to choose between the life of a brother and the crisis of mutiny and the Calamity combined. He had decided to lend aid where aid was due, and that was simply something that the whole pack would have to learn to live with.

And in considering Isley's decision, Rawley had to think about what Renard did - how he had risked her life in order to destroy a few Reavers. It seemed to her a pale imitation of the tactical scenario, where Miles had seen an opportunity and made her collateral damage, whereas Isley had been forced into a hopeless situation where either of his priorities would have suffered. It was as if Isley's plight undermined her confidence in the relatively new SCO, making her miss Jaru Rel and regret even more how he had been put into stasis because of his injuries. She had trusted Iceman, at least, and trust was implicit to the survival of the Lone Wolves in the battles to come.

She didn't trust Husker, she thought as she glanced at the tall pup. She certainly didn't trust Renard. But as she looked at Isley, she did realise that despite what he had done, and as much as she wanted to shoot him for leaving Razor behind... she still trusted the half-breed. Just as much as she trusted Lance, Carver and Fasha to do what they had to do in the cockpit - not to mentioned the rest of their pack - she reckoned that Maverick would not fail her either.

Deciding that Isley deserved to hear her out, Rawley got to her feet and left Tessa to speak with Husker, and she nodded for Isley to join her as she left towards the corner of the lounge - coming to stand by the monitors farthest away from the bar. Once he joined her, Rawley tilted her head back to look at the bearded wolf. "So," she said jaws clenched, "thanks for pulling me out of that avalanche. I suppose I should be glad you didn't make the same decision about my life as you did with Razor's. I suppose it was not exactly the same thing either, since the Calamity or the Reavers hadn't been sighted yet, but thanks."

It was as good a way to start a conversation as any.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #31 –
[Husker| Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: All present in Below Decks, especially Tessa May Lance

Chris had to smile just a little about that, "Yeah he was there for a while before he was moved over to the Chimera before giving him command of his ship which was some kind of experimental prototype from what he told me before...before everything happened."

The smile disappeared from Chris' face as he actually thought about his oldest brother and an even darker thought:

The odds that he might actually have to fight Marcus and his command and that thought troubled him
tremendously because of what Marcus was in his family - he was everything their father demanded and he was good at it.

But when Tessa brought up the "why" he joined the fleet, Chris ' right hand clenched tightly. "I was living on Andor, trying to decide what to do next when the Breen assault on Earth occurred...my father was one of the victims." He explained in a slightly bitter tone.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #32 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

"Oh yeah, it was awful," Tessa shuddered.  "I was at the Academy Flight Range on Titan.  We were doing training maneuvers when the Breen attacked and were ordered to the emergency evac station on Mimas.  My parents were so worried!" she gushed as she recalled the incident.  "They must have been trying to contact me for like... hours!  I can only imagine what they're going through right now..."

She stopped, suddenly self-conscious.  She wasn't going to cheer him up by dragging up the outside world, and yet, it was the friends and loved ones back home that they were fighting for.  They couldn't forget their families and all the people they knew on the outside or they'd end up like Vasser's crew, following an agenda that ignored everyone but themselves.  That wasn't who they were and that wasn't why they had joined Starfleet.  "God I wish I could say something to them right now," she sighed.

What was the point of wishing that?  If she somehow managed to contact them, the Big Scary Conspiracy would have her family assassinated to silence them.  If she ever got a chance to send her parents a message she'd have to pass it up.
 

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #33 –
[Nathaniel "Maverick" Isley | Below Decks ] Attn: Below Decks team

Nathan glanced at Evelyn for a moment struck stupid by the callous way that she had decided to bring up the death of Razor, and his decisions during the away mission. It wasn't like he had forgotten his actions and considering he had just been through the logistics conversation before this he would have thought he would have an answer rehearsed by now. Instead however he found his grip tightening on the drink he was currently holding, and a flash of anger burning through him.

"Really so we are going to do this today?" Their was some amount of venom in his voice as he spoke towards Evelyn. Not out of hate for her but rather dislike of the subject. He hated that he had to make those calls. Even if they had helped to save the Theaurgy in the end their had been a lot of losses along the way and Razor was certainly one of them perhaps the strongest considering it was his order to not go back for him.

"It was chaos out there. If we had gone back for Razor and his ship it would have taken yet more wolves away form Theaurgy's defense. I made a call, the needs of the many over the need of the one. It was my first command, and Evelyn you can hate me for it, you can spend the rest of your life questioning it, but i'm fucking grateful you went with it." He took a deep sigh as he said the words.

"If you had turned back then I would have lost two wolves that day and I'm having trouble living after loosing just one." he mumbled the last part into his drink making it more difficult for Evelyn to hear.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #34 –
[ Evelyn Rawley | Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: Kaligos

Nathan reacted in half like Rawley had expected when she broached the subject, and yet she was surprised with how vehement his defence of his actions was. She bided her time to let him vent his words, hardly holding his reasons against him to begin with, and when he was finished, she cocked her shaved head at him.

"I bloody well understand all of that, Mav. I don't question your judgement. You saw the bigger picture, and fine, you had no choice," she said, taking a step closer to him and having to crane her neck more to look him in the eye. "That doesn't mean I like any of it. It is not like I am going to just forget about it, just as little as you will, for indeed... I obeyed your order to jump to warp instead of going back there for him. I am at fault for his death too, even if I hope he is still alive out there - chances slimmer by the bloody hour. What fucks me up the most is I don't know what was wrong with him, if he did try to rape me the way I told you on that ice planet, or if there was some mind-meld at play. If it was the latter, then he could be put straight in the head again, just like the Harbinger people we now have aboard."

More of them would be brought back when the Allegiant returned, no doubt, and she hoped that Lieutenant Commander Stark and those who went with her would find Razor as well during the SAR-mission. Surely Razor would recognise the yacht's warp signature if he came across it...

"I might hate you for what you ordered, but that was all you heard," she said and curled her lip at him, "I said 'thanks' as well. I thought I died when I went under in that avalanche, and next bloody thing I know, you are carrying me up to the Valkyries again. I should say I am bloody sorry too, for making trouble and putting my rifle towards Razor like that. Could have made us spot the Calamity sooner. Could have gotten away in time. All of us."

OOC: Remember how Thomas Ravon suggested leaving Rawley in that thread? Could be food for thought.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #35 –
[Nathaniel "Maverick" Isley | Below Decks ] Attn: Auctor Lucan

Honestly Nathan had been expecting a much bigger fight with this, he was expecting her to be much more angry, or even to still flat out hate him for his choice, but it seemed that they could all agree that it had been the correct one, even if it was painful. When she brought up the avalanche and the fact that they hadn't left her behind he opened his mouth to retort that the situation was different there. He also had to listen for the part where she had thanked him. He sighed, clearly he was not going to get the kind of relaxing atmosphere he had been hoping for by coming down here.

but there was something else that was bugging him about that exchange. "Before we get into that... I want to know what actually happened." Nathan said mulling it over and taking a sip of his drink. "The three of us were out of our ships, and suddenly you start pointing a phaser at him claiming he's a rapist. Moments later the avalanch happens, and your knocked cold, and he's telling me to just leave you since it would slow us all down. I carry you off back to our ships, and by the time your back up on your feet were loading our asses back into the valkieries."

He sipped his drink a little more, and looked at Evelyn. "Now I didn't let my feelings influence the choices i made that day, surprising I know, but how do you get from threatening to kill him, to being angry at me? If anything I would have expected you to be..." He didn't finish it out of respect for their missing wolf, but if anything he would have thought that Evelyn would have been relieved that the man was gone.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #36 –
[ Evelyn Rawley | Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: Kaligos

When Nathaniel said that Thomas Ravon had suggested that she'd be left behind, it was as if something clicked in her mind - leaving her standing there with eyes still upon Isley. He spoke of more things, but that Razor had wanted to leave her behind suggested that all those times he had saved her ass in the cockpit had been for show - to make her less hostile towards him and to appear innocent.

"I... did not know he suggested to leave me behind," she grated, feeling like she had been violated again. "He... the bloody bastard saved my ass when we took off from the hangar, when we launched from the Theurgy. He stunned Nightmare. Shot her in the back, just before she was about to kill me. Next, back on the ice planet, I did not know what to think. First, he tried to rape me in my damn bathroom while I was cleaning up after the Festival, and next, he saves my ass from Nightmare, so I confronted him with my rifle - demanding to know what the fuck was going on. At every turn, he has said he didn't remember doing what he did, as if he had some blackout, and then he saves me - the accuser and witness to his disgusting deed. Now, you tell me he wanted to ditch me in the avalanche, and yet after that, he saves me again from the Reavers before we jumped to warp!"

Downing her drink and slamming it down on a table, she was fuming. "What the hell is he about anyway? I cannot make heads or tails out of this shit," she swore and kicked the table that she had put her drink on, making it topple over. She was breathing deeply, eyes casting about for something to vent her anger on, but she kept herself from lashing out against Isley. He seemed as confused as she was, with every right. "I never knew he wanted to leave me behind, so I thought he had saved me twice over - starting to trust him again. That was why I didn't want him to be left behind to die. I wanted to believe him, that the T'Rena bitch had made him go mental, and he could be made fine again. He was wolven brother to me, just like you, and the trust between us must be implicit. If we have no trust amongst ourselves, we will start dying, one by one."

Then again, just as she said it, she realised that was exactly what they had been doing since they left Earth, so perhaps trust was too much to hope for? With the words already out of her mouth, she looked to the table she had kicked over, hoping she wasn't right. "I am not thankful..." she said slowly. "It seems I just have too much faith in people..."

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #37 –
[Husker| Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: All present in Below Decks, especially Tessa May Lance

Chris honestly did not know what Tessa was trying to do, was she trying to help ease him into the "pack" so to speak or did she simply need someone to talk to- he honestly didn't know.

The man from Asgard took a deep breath before saying "In my family, the one that I was apart of that is, we have a history of service ranging all the way back to before there was a Federation and we have prided ourselves on a sense of conviction and honor, but furthermore we do it in the company of some of the brightest and the best but not to mention the toughest bastards in the 'verse."

Chris gestured at the bulkheads surrounding them, "My brother Marcus always liked to refer to a ship that he was serving on as a living being because he had faith that it would always bring him home and he viewed his fellow crew the same way..the same way that I do because I know that my family is safe, as yours is."

He reached out and placed a friendly hand on Tessa's closest shoulder reassuringly. "We are doing the right thing, Tessa, and once this damned shadow has been ripped away from the Federation, you'll see them again."

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #38 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

"Oh wow, that is, like, so amazing after what you...hurk!" she snorted as she abruptly drew a breath.  She thought she had cried herself out in the shower, but apparently she wasn't numb yet.  Chris' inspiring words seemed super heroic for someone who had just lost his starship.  It was encouraging to meet someone whose spirit wasn't broken, who still believed in the fight, who kept his sense of optimism enough to actually have a chance of succeeding, let alone surviving. 

The problem was the Tessa felt like a human being again, and was just human enough to feel emotions again, not just what was on the surface.  Or maybe it was the fact that only other ship that knew who the good guys were had sacrificed itself after betraying them and killing off half the people Tessa cared about who she could still talk to.   In any case, the emotion spilled out as tears.   Awkward.  So much for impressing him with her warrior spirit. 

"That's f-f-fantastic that you can s-s-still f-feel that way," she stammered as she wiped the tears out of her face.  "Especially after..." she closed her eyes and jerked her head down as a whine escaped her lips.  "Especially after what h-happened," she valiantly continued after rubbing her eyes and rubbing the tears off her face once more.  "Don't worry, I do this all the time," she groaned hoarsely.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #39 –
[Husker| Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: All present in Below Decks, especially Tessa May Lance


Chris couldn't help but to blink a couple of times at his fellow pilot having a mini-break down there in the lounge and did the only thing that he could think to do which was something that he did for his sisters when they had one of these as he simply drew Tessa into a short but reassuring hug as he gently stroked her back. "Don't worry Tessa, it shows that everything is still right in the world if you can still feel and the moment that you decide to wall off your emotions, cut off your ability to feel how heavy your heart feels is the time for you to worry alright?" he whispered reassuringly into her right ear before he broke the hug.

Chris then thought back to what she had mentioned about the loss of the Harbinger. "Right now I am going to put a rumor that I've been hearing to sleep, Tessa. I was the one who piloted the Harbinger at the Calamity, I'm not bragging about it or anything of the like. If you look at the very name of that ship, Harbinger, it usually means that something dark and or sinister is on the horizon and with the exception of those of us who joined the Theurgy's crew against the asshats that ran it and did so much damage, it fell into the darkness a long time ago."

He then took a cleansing breath before continuing, "The only thing that I could be missing from that ship is now a doctor on the Theurgy and our new crew chief, so I have no regrets about crashing that plague ship into our enemy." he explained before getting a much more serious expression on his face. "What I did, I did without hesitation, in the name of killing that name ship."

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #40 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

Tessa returned his hug as the newcomer assured her that her emotions were not only normal they were healthy.  It meant that after everything that happened she was still herself and not a mindless and numb automaton or a coldblooded killer like so many of Slayton's shipmates had become. 

"Don't worry Tessa," Slayton whispered in her ear, "it shows that everything is still right in the world if you can still feel and the moment that you decide to wall off your emotions, cut off your ability to feel how heavy your heart feels is the time for you to worry alright?"

"Mm-hm," she nodded as she clung to him desperate for some kind of human contact, something real and normal.  When he broke the hug she realized that she was being too clingy.  That was trouble.  The new guy needed a squad mate he could depend on, not a needy child.  "But th-they were your shipmates," she argued, playing devil's advocate just to make sure she could have something to say and act like an adult right now.  "You must feel some kind of..."

The newcomer stopped her before she got any further.  "Right now I am going to put a rumor that I've been hearing to sleep, Tessa. I was the one who piloted the Harbinger at the Calamity, I'm not bragging about it or anything of the like. If you look at the very name of that ship, Harbinger, it usually means that something dark and or sinister is on the horizon and with the exception of those of us who joined the Theurgy's crew against the asshats that ran it and did so much damage, it fell into the darkness a long time ago."

"Yikes, harsh," Tessa commented as she started becoming her old self again.  "It was your home base.  Surely there's got to be something you miss about it."

"The only thing that I could be missing from that ship is now a doctor on the Theurgy and our new crew chief, so I have no regrets about crashing that plague ship into our enemy." he assured her. "What I did, I did without hesitation, in the name of killing that time ship," he said as his face darkened at the memory.

"Wow," Tessa paled before chuckling bitterly to relieve the tension.  "Well if we ever get out of this with our hides and careers intact you'll be on the fast track for promotion.  Not everyone could do what you did when the time came.  I'm glad you were there to make the tough calls," she said before she realized how revealing her comment was.  "I'm sorry," she winced.  "I'm just not myself anymore.  I'm going to talk to Renard about a remedial boot camp to get myself back in shape.  And it's not just me:  We've picked up a bunch of civilians who need to learn the Starfleet way of doing things or they'll just get in the way.  A one week boot camp might be just what we need right now."

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #41 –
[Nathaniel "Maverick" Isley | Below Decks ] Attn: Auctor Lucan

Nathan blinked when Evelyn started talking, taking every note that she had given him to shut up and listen as he tried to piece his own mental picture of that day together. It had all been so confusing and now they really only had one side of the story to begin with. Obviously with Razor gone they would only ever have one half of the story, and at this point he wasn't sure if he could take Razor at his word.

Sexual assault against a fellow wolf? and all the things being said down on the ice world, of course he had no idea what had been going on through the mans head. Perhaps he thought just leaving Evelyn would have solved the problem that he could sweep his actions intentional or not under the rug when she was gone, and that was why he had suggested it. It certainly felt that way with all things considered, but the fact was he didn't have any notes to really work with, and it was really just a tragedy at this point.

"I'm sorry it was a poor way for me to speak out." He said lightly in regard to his former comment about her being greatful no one should be happy that they were down a wolf. Even if it had been a liar, it meant that bigger picture would be harder to protect. However there was the other side that made him a little easier on the subject. It was better that he was gone while all of this was coming to light better that all their baggage be known so one of the wolves didn't shoot another in the back... an action like that during a mission would be a tragedy.

"I wish I knew what he had been thinking, but the truth is any answer to those questions would be back on that ice world, and none of us have the time to go back... Not that I haven't thought about it a number of times." He gave a soft shrug. "Truth is that will probably be my first and last command of a mission." Their had been no time to see if command had even suited him. He was a maverick the guy who broke the rules not the one who enforced them... though there was an amusing thought to that as well.

"In the end trust is all we have at the moment. If we second guess ourselves too many times we will all end up alone or worse off."

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #42 –
[ Evelyn Rawley | Below Decks | Deck 07 ] Attn: Kaligos

The point Nathan made rung true. All they had left in means of survival was trust. It mimicked her own thoughts, even though she had been less optimistic about it. She thought that trust was not enough, since they had lost far too many. With no trust, however, it might just be that they had all died well before they even reached the Mahéwa System. "Perhaps so..."

By that time, she had been recovering from surgery, and hadn't been up and about until after that Ishtar Entity had screwed them over. She saw battle again when they fought the Calamity for the first time, and it had been an unauthorised take-off that let her see action again - only to see her wingmate Douglas 'Hardtop' Kohrin die in the rain of phaser fire. The memory made her flex her fingers and clench her jaw. "In the end, I think what this squadron of ours suffer is the bloody toll of what we have been through together. The cost of our brothers and sisters, and the fucking betrayals we've faced, it has undermined our damn spirit. Each wound we suffer hurt all the more, for the pain is starting to get to us."

She glanced at Tessa where she spoke with the new pup, and perhaps Goldeneyes exemplified what she said the most right then. Yet Rawley was certain that anyone of them could crack, and she did not hold it against her sister.

Though she was not too keen to bring it up in public, she had broken down too - reduced to snivelling mess when oracle disappeared the first time. When Thea had spoken with her in rehabilitation. When her brother had died. Aye, Tessa might think herself weak, but they were all of the same mettle. At least Goldeneyes was best equipped to face her fears and regrets head on and deal with them, whereas she refused to give an inch to the pain she felt. In the long run, Rawley was convinced Tessa would come out of this far better than she were... if she even lived to see that day.

"Sorry man," she said to Nathan and bent down to put the table back upright. She placed her empty glass on it. "Hearing about Razor and what he said made me loose my thirst. I will be retreating for the night, hoping that some fucking sleep will make the ceremony tomorrow easier. G'night, Maverick, and remember... You had no choice."

On her way out, she tousled Tessa's hair playfully, giving her quiet sister a smile. "Cheer up, Goldie, you look like someone died," she jested in passing, then gave Husker a lopsided grin. The size-difference between him and her was ludicrous, so she chose her words well. "Count yourself lucky I did not have your balls handed to you, pup."

As she left, she thought that she ought to make sure Morrigan made it home all right...

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #43 –
[Nathaniel "Maverick" Isley | Below Decks ] Attn: Auctor Lucan

Nathan sighed as he Watched Evelyn go, he honestly didn't feel like socializing anymore. It hurt to watch the other wolves for some reason. With nightmare gone, there was a sadness to these social events that he didn't care for, and after the emotional roller coaster he had with Evelyn he was ready to turn in for the night.

The service was due tomorrow, and he would go to it. If only so he could pay respects to the one who was actually gone. Some part of him hoped that Razor found a way home. He had a lot of explaining to do, to both evelyn and now him. Nathan yawned. "Yeah I agree." he said passing the other two. "I'm done for the night."

He gave his goodbyes. It was a shame to go in a way, but it was clear that tonight wasn't going to be what he had originally thought it would be. He passed the new guy and gave him a quick pat on his shoulder and a wish good luck. Then moved on and out of the below deck turning in for the night. It was going to be a long day tomorrow he could feel it in his body.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #44 –
[Ensign Chris Slayton | Below Decks ] Attn: Tessa

Chris couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow at the "boot camp" suggestion made by Tessa. "That could be a good idea if we had the time, Tessa." he pointed out with a slight nod of his head. "With everything that is going on we could be trying to do your boot camp suggestion and get caught with our collective pants down when the ship runs into a squadron of Valdore series warbirds on cloaked exercises or something even more wonkier if you will knowing our collective luck true?"

The man from Asgard took a deep breath and looked at the younger woman in the eyes and face for a moment before nodding slowly. "However I will accept the point that we might need a boot camp more then anything. It might help with reaction time and getting everybody who's positions have changed during the recent...insanity..time to get used to their new spots, so either way you might actually have a valid point there, my concerns not withstanding but as a separate issue of concern."

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #45 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

Emboldened as the Asgardian looked at her proposal from different angles, Tessa argued in favor of her position.  "We've got the crews of two ships and a handful of civilians to integrate into one cohesive unit," she pointed out.  "If we don't get ourselves shipshape, we'll be caught with our pants down when we launch our raid on Starbase 84.  Since we've launched we've had our minds taken over twice.  No wait, three times.  I forgot about the Ishtar incident.  After that discipline broke down pretty fast and we've been jumping into each other's beds so much that you'd think we were on holiday on Risa."

She stopped, blushing when she realized that she had made another embarrassing admission.  It was one thing to argue her point, but it was another thing to make herself and everybody else aboard the Theurgy look like a bunch of screw-ups.  She coughed into her fist.  "Well that's what I think anyway," she finished lamely.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #46 –
[Ensign Chris Slayton | Below Decks ] Attn: Tessa

"You might have a valid point but random situations like that help possibly with the dynamic, Tessa." Chris pointed out to her respectfully as he crossed his arms over his chest. "But by that same admission the officers and crew of this ship are a lot healthier then we where on the Harbinger, Tessa. We were more focused on the fight and Vasser's orders then anything remotely healthy.

Chris uncrowded his arms and turned away from the younger pilot as an angry expression crossed his bearded face. "Maybe if we'd been smarter and actually capable of stepping back to look at our own seriously officers then maybe that fucking event might not have happened and more good people would be alive.."

Chris clenched his fists tightly but fought to get his frustration and anger under control and won as he turned back to look at Tessa with an apologetic look on his face. "Sorry, I'm still angry at the level of stupidity at what happened. Ives plan is not only do able but also the base'salary systems are designed just for that reason and for two people to let their egos and libidoes take charge like that.." he explained was the tension bled out of him.

He then went over and placed a hand on Tessa'so shoulder and said "We got this, Tessa. In the history of the fleet has other ships managed to do the impossible with such a crew element?"

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #47 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

"...the officers and crew of this ship are a lot healthier then we were on the Harbinger, Tessa. We were more focused on the fight and Vasser's orders then anything remotely healthy."

"Heh-heh," she laughed self-consciously.  "I guess that's one way to put it."

"Maybe if we'd been smarter and actually capable of stepping back to look at our own seriously officers then maybe that fucking event might not have happened and more good people would be alive," Slayton growled.  Tessa must have had an alarmed look on her face because when he looked at her he softened as he tried to reign his frustration in.  "Sorry, I'm still angry at the level of stupidity at what happened. Ives plan is not only doable but also the base's alarm systems are designed just for that reason and for two people to let their egos and libidos take charge like that..."

Husker was right.  Wow.  Had two stupid people really done all that damage?  Had two people really squandered so many lives and resources that the Starbase 84 mission, and by extension Starfleet and the Federation, was doomed?  Two ships had a lot better of a chance than one did and thanks to Vasser and T'Rena it was hard to tell if the Theurgy even counted as one anymore.

The despair must have shown in Tessa's eyes because Slayton put his hand on her shoulder.  "We got this, Tessa. In the history of the fleet has other ships managed to do the impossible with such a crew element?"

"Uh, um... no..." she stammered.  In the history of Starfleet other ships had managed to overcome impossible odds but they usually had a crew element a lot more intact than what was currently aboard the Theurgy.  For the life of her she couldn't think of a single... "No wait!" she snapped her fingers as she rose from her chair.   "There was a ship that got lost in the Delta Quadrant for seven years... the Voyager I think it was!  If the rumors are true by the time they got back half of their crew was Marquis!  They had a crew element like ours and if the stories are true they managed to defeat the Borg!"


OOC:  I'm assuming that details of the Voyager odyssey are still classified but officers in the know have still heard plenty.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #48 –
[Ensign Chris Slayton | Below Decks ] Attn: Tessa

"See, if they can make that kind of trip with the resources that *THEY* had at hand then we can do the same thing." Chris said with a smile on his face to the other pilot. "Sure there is going to be bumps but in the long run those bumps show that we're still living, breathing people and not machines like the Borg."

Marcus then took a step back and stretched his arms out to encompass the whole ship via the one room in question. "Yes there was mistakes made and yes, we have a crew that is as mismatched as the ship that they are serving on but in the end everything will be fine because we've got the toughest little ship in the fleet backing us on this wild and crazy ride." he said before gesturing around at the various bottles of liquir that lined the shelves behind him on the otherside of the counter.

"Take each and every one of those spirtis, Tessa, and equate them to one of your fellow officers and crew aboard this ship. Every drink of a fluid ounce is the some total of what they bring to this fight and while you shouldn't mixed whiskey and bourbin, you can make one hell of a gin and tonic if you do your portions right." The Asgardian pilot said with a smile on his face before draping a friendly arm over Tessa's slim shoulders and giving her a squeeze.

Re: DAY 01: An Empty Pack [2030 hrs.]

Reply #49 –
[ Tessa May Lance | USS Theurgy | Below Decks | Deck 07  ]  Attn: Husker, All Present in Below Decks.

"Yeah," she sighed in relief as he put his arm around her.  "You're right."

It was hard to trust anyone after the betrayal of Captain Vasser, but Tessa found Chris' affectionate gesture comforting instead of invasive.  She was surprised at her own reaction.  After seeing one of her fellow squadmates shoot down another in cold blood, Tessa didn't think she'd ever let anyone get that close again.  That she could let a former member of Dor'GhItlh Squardon get close enough to touch her was something she didn't expect.  She honestly thought she'd be uncomfortable, bus she wasn't, and she found that realization even more encouraging than Chris' kind gesture.  It meant her spirit wasn't broken, that she could still trust people, and that she hadn't been reduced to a sniveling Chihuahua.  There was hope for her yet.  Maybe she wasn't broken beyond all repair, maybe it was time to stand up again.  Yes!  It was time for a new beginning.  Time to get moving.  Tessa couldn't remain seated anymore but she wasn't ready to see the familiar faces of her teammates just yet. 

"Come on," she chirped as she rose to her feet.  "The Theurgy is a big ship.  Let me give you the ten credit tour."  She finished her drink in one big gulp and then crossed her eyes and blinked rapidly as she coughed and tottered forwards and backwards in order to keep her balance.  Apparently that gin and tonic she ordered wasn't synthahol like she expected.  Oops.  With a flushed face, she coughed some more before straightening her uniform and adjusting her hair.  "Smooth," she gasped weakly.
 
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