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Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #25 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe
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For one small moment in time, Sarresh was happy. And not only was he happy, he could see that Sel was happy. Happy because of what he said. Happy because of how he felt for her. Joy burst inside his belly, burning bright, in the look that he saw on Sel's face. The way her nose wrinkled up just a bit more, her lips curled at the ends. He thought he saw a flush in her cheeks but it could have been his imagination. With that realization, he felt something else. That love, deep and abiding, growing.

So of course it all came crashing down seconds later. Because the 24th century had determined that there should be nothing happy about Sarresh Morali's life now that he had come back to it. A punishment for ever daring to have left its temporal embrace to begin with, let alone returning to muck around with the delicate chronological waves rippling out from that point in time.
He couldn't understand at first, why she was crying? Nothing about what he said should have caused sadness. Was it something out of her past? He knew - well he didn't know all that much, but he assumed that he knew more than most. There had been some discussion, after all. They had each shared. Not much, but some. Enough to know there was a lot of bitterness there, from before. Was that what was causing -

Oh, hell, he thought, as he listened to her speak. Gods above, please no. The damned mission. She was going to put it first. She couldn't be pregnant because of the mission? This was the 24th century. Plenty of women did plenty of work when pregnant. He couldn't understand. It wasn't like he was expecting her to stay in her quarters all day and do nothing with her time. It wasn't like back home, where the mother to be was expected to do almost nothing for herself and be catered to by the whole community. Sarresh had spent enough time among alien's to know that wasn't how it worked.

And had she not just told him herself, moments before, that she wanted this child to be his and hers. Theirs together? No, she did not want to give up the child. That much was clear.

With a care that he did not show any other living person, Sarresh pressed his palm to the back of the woman before him, and spread his fingers wide. For a moment he didn't speak, he just rubbed. Down, to the small of her back, then up, to the nape of her neck. She was weeping openly, and he felt like his own heart was shattering into tiny pieces. Shutting his eyes, he saw....small, pinkish hands, reaching up, trying to grab his finger, only  for the image to burst apart like a dropped glass.

Taking a risk - being well aware that the woman could quiet easily break him if she so chose - he slid his arms around her from behind and bent over. Laying himself out a long her, he pressed himself to her, his heart beating against her back.

"Sel," he whispered softly into her ear. He hoped it sounded tender. He hoped his voice didn't sound like he was breaking inside, and never mind that he was. "Its not a matter of can or can't. You are pregnant. And that won't stop the mission. The mission will go on, whether...whether or not w...we," he choked up. Damn him, he choked up. He swallowed, he shook, and he pressed his forehead into her shoulder and took a sharp, ragged breath.

"Whether or not we have a child, the mission will not fail," he gasped out. "Having a baby doesn't mean we can't still help. And snuffing that life out...before...." He stopped. His hand had landed on her belly without his realizing, until that moment, and he froze up. He simply could not finish the thought.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #26 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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She saw the pain, she heard it crack and break his voice. As much as she hurt, he ached. She felt him press himself against her back, her face pressing against her shoulder.

His words cut into her, tearing away at her. She was pregnant. It had happened. Even if she could make it stop, terminate the life of the child now growing inside her, it would not change the fact that it had happened. What it would do was destroy her.

Even if she did terminate it, go to the Sickbay and have them take care of the problem, she knew better than to think it would leave her fighting fit in a couple of hours. And it really wasn't like her duties involved her doing much beyond ensuring that safety of the ships personal weapons. She had volunteered for everything else. She had thrown herself into every dangerous situation she had gotten the chance to. And it had almost killed her a couple of times.

If she was pregnant, no, there was no if. If she kept being pregnant she'd have to play it safer.

She felt his hand on her stomach, over her womb, over the child that was growing there. She felt the ache piece through her heart. She wanted that child more than anything. She had given her everything to the mission and now it seemed like the mission was asking something of her she could not give.  The feeling of his hand, holding both her and the child in a single gesture. She wanted that, she wanted her child to grow up with the kind of love she felt for him, the kind of safety she felt when she was around him. She wanted it so much it ached, feeling like it was cutting into her very heart and soul.

"I..." She began, but her voice jammed on her throat. She swallowed hard and tried to push away the tears.

She turned to face him, cupping her hands on her cheeks, so that she could make him look at her. She gazed into his eyes for a long moment, her own eyes still shimmering with tears lingering.

And looking into his eyes, she decided. Come hell or high water, this was what she wanted. She wanted him. She wanted their child.

"I want this child. I want your child. And if I have to run away from all of this to keep it safe. If I have to abandon this mission and all of this pain to keep this child, I will," she said, her voice taking on a hard edge. She knew it was paramount to treachery to speak like that, but for once she didn't care. She didn't care what anyone else thought or said. She wanted this. She wanted to give her child a better life, a better world, than she had known. "I just... Let me stay with you... Stay with me... Don't ever fucking leave me..."

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #27 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe 
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Sarresh had said all that he could in that moment. There were no more words left in him, after he had realized where his hand had fallen. Under his palm, centimeters away, really, was life. A child. Growing, even as they spoke, even as they held each other and contemplated the beings future. Life was growing there, and it was almost as if the thought caused his hand to burn, to flare with heat from within Sel.

He kept his hand there anyway. He kept it there for as long as she would let. All the while pondering the horrible, horrible thought: Would this be as close as I ever get, to touching my own child?

Then the contact was torn away as Sel twisted, and he stepped back. Giving her room to move in his grasp, hands trailing over skin. He made to put distance between them, thinking that she wanted him away from her. That it would be easier for her to end...everything. This surly, was why Ryuan Sel was twisting about.

But then she grabbed his head to hold him in place, to force him to look at her. Biomechanical eyes starring down into purely organic. Bright green Bajoran orbs that he had fallen in love with, despite all the myriad of reasons not to. Something seemed to crystallize in her gaze as she bore into him, and Sarresh found himself breathless in the moment. The silence between her first stuttering attempt, and her next words seemed to be an eternity for him. An aching moment of sheer anxiety over what she would say.

Then she spoke.

He was grateful, in that moment, for Thea's privacy protocols. For they meant that the ships AI would not have heard what his Sel (his Sel) had just said. And though duty warred with desire, for a brief moment, he was glad that the same AI would not hear what he uttered next.

"I am never, leaving you. Mission be damned. If its a choice, I'm making it. Here and now." There was no dithering back and forth. He committed in that moment. "Where ever you are. You and our child -" And never you mind that other person that might have fathered it "- that is where my home is. Where my life is." Sarresh placed his hand on her stomach again, boldly this time. With purpose. He knew he would do everything he could for their mission, save this one thing. This he would not give up. There was an almost overwhelming urge, a burning desire in his chest, making his heart feel like it would burst, to hold her, but he kept his hand on her stomach. Over her womb. The symbolism mattered. He needed to touch her, and his child.

"I love you, both. And I do not think I could live without either of you."

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #28 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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With his hand there, holding her abdomen, above where there was now a new life growing, she could not help but feel different, as if something had changed. IT had seemed that for so long she had never had a family, she had never known her mother or father, her masters could not be called family, even when they were not cruel to her, they were far from loving. When she had escaped the Cardassians she had done no better. She had only ever felt at home on the USS Geneva. She had adored Captain Cosaur and when things had gotten to their worst he had protected her. But that was different. It had gotten physical, but her relationship with Sarresh was something very different.

She realized, placing her own hand on top of his, holding onto him tightly, that this was family. This was what she had wanted so desperately. She wanted a family. And Sarresh had given her one and only a breath ago they had both vowed to hold onto that, more than any other obligation or vow either had taken before. This was something more important and she felt her heart ache with a feeling she could not express.

She felt so happy it hurt, so full of love it was actually painful. She'd never felt so loved, so needed. SO many men had wanted her, but it seemed as if now Sarresh needed her and the life inside her, and she, in turn, needed him and that same life inside her. Even the fear that it was not really his child, that the child was the offspring of another, even that was small and insignificant compared to what she held onto. She knew the other man would likely not do anything, or at least she hoped he would not. She did not know what he wanted, she knew next to nothing about the other man. She wanted it to be Sarresh's child, by blood or by commitment, it didn't really matter.

After a long moment, she stepped away, moving back taking her stomach away from his touch, but continuing to hold onto his hand. "I need a shower, my face is all messy from tears," she said wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "And then I want to go to the Sickbay. I want to know for sure. We don't have to learn anything you don't want to, but I want to know for 100% sure that I am pregnant." She spoke calmly, organizing her thoughts. She smiled as she added, "and then I want to come back here and I want to spend the night with you."

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #29 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe 
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There was a long silence this time, after Sarresh finished his most recent confession. It was a day for confessions, he thought to himself. Confessions of life. Confessions of love. Finally acknowledging that which had been steadily growing since an chance encounter in the middle of a mutiny. Despite himself, he felt a moment of gratitude and remorse toward the late Eve Jenkins. He could easily place all the blame for his current happiness at her feet.

For he was happy, thats was what this stranger, overwhelming feeling was. Like his heart was going to swell, three sizes too large, and burst right from his chest. Someone loved him, the mess that he was, and what's more, he loved her. He had a connection, a deep one, that had, more than anything else, cemented the time traveler to this point in time. This was home now.

Ryuan Sel, and their child, was home.

Knowing it was far too soon to feel anything under Sel's skin, all the same there was a part of Sarresh that was expectant. Hanging on hairs breath, waiting to feel some response. But as he tapped his fingers lightly, caressingly, all he felt was the delightful heat of her bare skin. Her hand on top of his, trapping it between her touch and her belly, source of beautiful life.

His child.

She stepped away and he blinked, smiling - it still felt strange, even though he'd done it more around her than anyone else since he'd come back. He listened and smiled, looking up at her face, raising his free hand to gently cuff her under the chin and run his thumb along her jaw.

"I think that's a good plan," he told her. He wouldn't push the parentage in the sickbay unless she wanted to. He didn't want to hear someone else say this wasn't his child. It was his. He felt it in his cartilage - his bones, he corrected, with a mental laugh for once instead of a scowl. This body had helped him create life. Perhaps he would not hate it so much.

Coming back after, spending the night together, he was all on board. And mostly stripped as he was..."You still want company, in there?" He asked, gesturing with a tilt of his head towards the shower unit.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #30 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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"No, I want you to stand out here and watch me shower," she said with a teasing tone as she pulled him into the shower with her. It was not a very big shower, not nearly big enough for all the fun things Sel would want to do in it, and if she did swell out massive she would need a bigger shower if she planned on dragging him into the shower with her then too. And she knew she was going to want to do just that. It meant that her perfect little private relationship was going to have to go public sometime soon, she didn't know how soon and she dreaded to think that far ahead. There was the possibility that she would not even get the chance to give birth. She was one a damned ship. But as she said, if it came down to it, she was going to pick her baby, she was going to pick her family. She would find somewhere to hide, somewhere no one would find them.

The shower was either a deeply spiritual experience for Sel or a deeply sexual one. She never had another type of shower unless she was in a hurry and she never used the sonic shower unless she had a good reason to do so. It was easier to just use the highly efficient water-based shower system built into her quarters. It would replicate a set amount of water and run it through the system, down the drain, through a heavy duty filter, and then through a heater to restore its temperature before pouring it back over her. The result was that a shower might only use a handful of gallons of water and a single filter, both were less than a single replicator ration durring crunch time. So she never had an excuse to not enjoy the shower, never an excuse to subject herself to a sonic shower. Not unless she needed to.

Once in the shower, she released his hand and tapped the panel to activate voice control. "Sel shower program B-7," Sel said and a moment later the warm, but not quite hot, water began to pour from what seemed like a million holes above them. Though the water was warm it seemed as if every fifth or sixth drop was quite a bit colder than the others.

"I programmed this one special," Sel explained softly. "During the war, when I spent a few weeks planet-side, our encampment was pretty rough. We built the shower from parts, so it was little more than a water heater, a spout, and a curtain." She turned toward him but didn't look him in the eye. "The rainy season hit and it seemed like every day we got more and more rain. I'd shower in the rain, with the hot water and the cold water hitting my body." She took her time explaining this, she wanted him to understand what she was sharing with him and why. "I was the only one who wasn't afraid then. I thought it was nice. I had never gone camping before, never known the feeling of going out and being with nature." She reached out and pressed her fingertips to his chest gently. "The fire and the water, I loved it."

She leaned forward and pressed her cheek against his chest and just relaxed for a moment. "I was always like fire," she said softly, her voice quiet and distant. "I could always feel it burning inside me. Scorching every part of me." She looked up at last, into his eyes. "You are the water the quenches me."

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #31 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe
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There's the sass I know and love Sarresh thought to himself, still mildly surprised that he could admit the feelings now, even in his own head, let alone aloud. Not that he minded the idea of watching, he had to admit, as he used his free hand to push the last of the clothes from his hips. He kicked a leg out as he hopped into the shower, shaking the fabric away (kicking it half way across the tiny refresher room in truth) and laughed, coming to stand next to Sel in her crammed shower. He didn't mind that either.

Cocking his head to one side almost like a salamander, he blinked his mechanical eyes as she spoke out a programed shower setting. It was a stupid thing, but Sarresh hadn't realized that one could save shower settings and in that moment, he felt rather foolish. For almost his entire career in Starfleet, downtime was spent in a pool. Washing was in a pool. Showers were, like many things, relatively new adjustment for Sarresh.

The warm - and cold - water began to fall like rain atop the former Ash'reem and he shut his eyes for a moment, shivering in unrepressed delight. He listened as Sel spoke, tilting his head back down to watch her. She wasn't lookin at him, but that was okay. One of the few talents that Sarresh would willingly admit to himself was the had the capacity to listen, and listen well, not feeling a need to fill a silence. At least as long as he liked the person speaking.

There was no one in this century he liked more than Ryuan Sel, save perhaps one person. And he had not yet had the chance to know them, for they were still forming, right there, within Sel.

Humbled by that thought, and by what she was saying, Sarresh let his hands settled onto her hips, lightly touching her skin, marvling as it turned wet and slick. He breathed in the warmth of the water, shivered and purred with the occasional chill, and basked in the trust he was shown. He had missed the whole war. At least, he thought he had. He had no frame of reference for it, but there was an inkling that he had felt horrors before. Buried deep in his psyche.

So he let her speak, until she was done, calling him the water to her fire. He swallowed a bit and moved his hand, cupping her cheek again, on the side of her head where he had shaved moments before. Fingers spread as he slid his hand back, and he could feel the smoothness behind her ears.

I did this. Me

"On my planet," he began, " we lived underwater, most of our lives. Going to the surface as need be." His voice was deep, and slow, as he peered down at her - through her, to a time that felt so very long ago. "We live...we thrive, in the water. In the wet depths. The dark. The deep. And yet...." His eyes seemed to focus again on hers, delighting in the green light of them They reminded him of the oceans at home, when the light would filter near the surface...

"And yet now I find myself drawn to, fascinated by the fire. So alien. So hot that it could burn. That fire that drives me, attracts me," he confessed. "It can warm me. It can devour me. Awe inspiring." Sarresh swallowed and beant his head forward.

"My all consuming fire." And he kissed her.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #32 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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In that place, in his arms, with that water setting, she felt like she never had before. She had taken him into an intimate place, to a memory of a world she would never return to, and even if she did, what they did there meant that world would never be the same. She had taken him there in he had held her close, seeming to understand exactly what she was saying. And when he kissed her she felt like she could melt into him, as if she could just let herself go.

She kissed him back, letting the passion in her build, letting the fire inside grow as the water splashing down on them seemed to only stoke the flames, to say nothing of the kiss. She pushed her tongue against his lips, demanding entrance, seeking out this tongue to taste him.

She pushed herself forward, pressing her breasts, now smooth and slick from the water, against his chest. Her breath was now hot and heavy from her nose and mouth, the kiss now more open and passionate than it was before. Moved and began to kiss down his chin, nibbling as she went. Before long she was at his jaw, nibbling along that now, she would pause every inch or so to give it a gently sucking kiss.

While she did that her hands found their way down, running over his chest and abdomen. Her fingers trailed over his muscles, feeling the flesh of them, how warm he was, how smooth his skin was. It was something she found so unique about him. She had never felt skin like his, partly because of how it had been created. Hers had been lived in, it was scarred and worn out in places. Her body was that of a soldier who had fought in a cage and a war, one who had survived what had killed others. His was still so fresh, but it was sculpted over a body that was muscled and aged just right. Not quite baby fresh, but something different. She loved to touch it.

"We probably shouldn't fuck before we go to sickbay..." she said, stopping her fingers short of reaching his groin. "They'll likely do some sort of exam down there..." She began to move her hands lower. "And if there was any sperm down there..." Her hands found his member and her fingertips began to lightly stroke it. "They would easily be able to tell what I had been doing..." She looked up at him, her eyes asked a question that her lips did not say. "It would be embarrassing..."

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #33 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe
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It would, of course, be so very easy to assume that something would go wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. Thats how it went, the last time he'd started to feel close to some one. Began to fall for a woman of this time. The 24th century was mad at him, he'd often told himself, and anything good in his life, it would take from him.

But he hadn't just started to fall for Ryuan Sel. He had fallen, deeply, for the Bajoran warrior. So vibrant. So fierce. She drew him in like the proverbial moth to the flame. He'd fallen in love, and, once more, created life (he thought...hoped...prayed) with this woman. He wanted a future with her, and the child she bore. He wanted to cement that here, in the shower, after they had both opened up. He knew now why that slight cold trickle in the shower meant so much to her. Sarresh understood that he would cherish that knowledge for the rest of his life.

(And never mind the memory engram programming).

With water cascading down his back, plastering the brown hair to his head, Sarresh let out a long, low moan of unadulterated desire. The little nibbles and kisses had a visible affect on him, stirring a need below the belt. There it was, that fire again, that she seemed to kindle. His hands hardly stayed still, running up and down her back, even as his head dropped off to the side to let her have access as she liked. Fingers danced up and down her spine, the the small of her back, and then fluttered lower, briefly, chasing drops of water.

His fingers came to a stop on the swell of her ass as she danced her own over his lengthening member. Speech, for a moment, was difficult. He had to process, pass the delighted sensation of her fingertips on his swollen skin, and let the words settle in. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable," he purred softly. At least no more so than is unavoidably necessary, Sarresh added in silence, even as he let his hands grip her firm, and let his hips rock against her.

"There are other things we could do...lf you want, Sel. Short of sex, but still satisfying." Damn him if these new cheeks of his weren't blushing. Maybe the heat of the shower would hide it.

Darting his head forward, he kissed her again, slowly, long, before whispering, "I am yours. However, and when ever you want. "

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #34 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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The warm water made both his rigid member and her fingers slick as she began to work her hand around his hard flesh and slide it up and down the length. Every kiss was a reminder of how much she wanted him, how much she wanted him to pin her against the wall and claim her body, to work his member inside her and bring her to climax again and again. She wanted to feel his seed inside her, wanted to feel as he shot his load against her womb, now filled with a growing child that she hoped and prayed was his. She wanted him and she wanted the feeling of him, almost as she wanted him to want her. She'd had many sexual relationships, but no one else had ever really made love to her. Had sex with her not as just an easy way to get their rocks off, but as an act of love and intimacy. It almost terrified her and yet she craved it more than she was willing to admit.

And yet she had to hold back. Their relationship was private, it was just between the two of them and she had no interest in sharing it with anyone. She was pretty sure that any genetic analysis of the baby would reveal either that it was half human, and then she would know that it was his, or it was half Câroon and then she would know who the father was and so would most of the crew.

At least if it was half human then there would be a wide option of possibilities and no one would simply be able to guess and know. She wanted it to be half human, she wanted it to be Sarresh's and she wanted it to be kept strictly between her and a few people as she could possibly manage for as long as she could manage.

"What did you have in mind?" Sel asked as she began to pump her hand up and down, her grip tight enough to stimulate, but also loose enough to just slide over his hot and slick manhood. Her voice was low and husky, lingering in the area just above a whisper, just loud enough to be heard over the sound of the water coming down around them. She was no expert in giving handjobs, her hands were a little too rough and her grip tended to be a little too hard, but she wanted to feel his manhood pulse and throb, she wanted to feel it inside her, but it seemed to did not have that option, at least not yet. "How do you want to satisfy me? How do you want me to satisfy you?"

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #35 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe
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A low little moan was his first answer to her question, his face scrunching upk not  quite a wince, not quite an expression of pure pleasure. For all the intimacy they'd had together, Sarresh was still far newer to this body than his old, and sorting out what felt right and what did not was a bit of a task he had yet to fully conquer. Her grip was tight, and he usually liked it, even if it made him twinge with a soreness that he couldn't quite put into words.

Didn't matter.

Instead he kissed her again, squeezing her ass with his hand, pulling her in against his body. Groaning loud, swallowed by her lips. His tongue probed, gently, at first, insistent quickly, trying to chase hers, to entice it back into his mouth. His body was shivering. Not from the little cold spurts of water that danced in the otherwise heated mix, but from desire. Barely restrained desire. Had he not said, just moments before, that she was the fire in his life? That she fascinated him like a flame. She made him burn for her.

The kiss broke, because neither could hold their breath forever. His lung capacity was no where near what it had once been, though it was still impressive for his new species. She had asked him a question before he'd tried to kiss the ever loving life from her lips, tried to communicate how he felt without words. Pressing his forehead to hers, he let his hand slide along her ass, then to her hips, squeezing her leg.

"If I remember well," he rumbled in that throaty voice that still surprised him whenever he heard it, "you were rather enamored with what I can do with my tongue. If I can't fill you the way we both want...perhaps that can hold us over?" Hold them until after the visit to the doctor. Where hopefully he'd know. Where hopefully he could celebrate properly being a father, biologically being one, by claiming her again - by loving her, long into the night.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #36 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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She wanted that kiss to last forever. Feeling his tongue against hers and his hands cupping her ass. She wanted to feel him, wanted to simply lift a leg and guide his rigid flesh into her body. She wanted to feel him push inside her and to feel his seed fill her once more, even if it was that desire that had gotten her into her current situation. So she lived with a kiss, at least for now, and what a kiss it was. She felt herself consumed by it, drawn into it and swallowed whole, at least metaphorically speaking.

And then the kiss ended. She felt his breath against her as he breathed for a moment. She wondered if it was that he was not as used to his body, that he seemed to have forgotten that he could breath and make out with her at the same time. It made her smile, it filled her with a feeling she was not used to, something she had never felt before. It seemed as unused to his body as he was, she was that unused to being loved as he seemed to love her. She didn't quite know how to react to it all. She had almost expected him to push her away when she told him about the life inside her, and she would have gone to medical and told them to remove it if it meant keeping him longer.

As it was he reacted with a sort of joy and happiness she wished she could feel and in a way she almost did. She was more scarred, more nervous, and filled with memories of her own childhood, filled with the torment and anguish that it was.

"Well, that would take care of me, but what about you?" she asked with a smile, forcing the thoughts of both past and future out of her mind. She wanted to live in the moment, to take the day as it came. "What if I want to taste you at the same time you taste me? Or maybe you could taste me and then I'll suck you off and go down to medical with your cum still on my tongue?" She gave him a smile, attempting for a sluttier look almost on instinct. Sex was easy, sex gave her some bit of control. She knew how to wrap a man around her finger and keep him there.

Love, love was really fucking hard.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #37 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe
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Not for the first time, Sarresh found himself having his breath taken away by just what Sel could come up with to tempt him. He would swear that his heart was pounding so fast with excitement that she would have had to be deaf not to hear it thudding against his chest. How does someone this creative care about - love me? The question rocked him back on his heels for a moment, and then he slid back forward, flat footed on the bottom of the shower stall again.

Then he let that momentum carrying him further forward, to press the Bajoran woman tightly against the tile wall of the small shower stall. He pinned her with his body, well aware that if she so wanted to, she could escape. This wasn't him trying to contain her - simply capture her lips in another series of searing kisses.

Giving himself into his desires, he groaned out, "I want these lips," hers, her sweet lips, that he sucked and nibbled, "All over me. Everywhere, gods, please."That would hold him, he decided. Until he could get her back here after they were done in the med bay, where the doctors would put his mind to ease. Where they would learn that the baby was healthy. And he wouldn't ask out right if it were his. He'd promised Sel already that it wouldn't matter but he was sure he would know.

Sarresh was swiftly building a narrative in his mind, and that narrative spilled into action, fueling a deep desire for this woman. The mother of (hopefully) his child. His fear that he wasn't actually the father was bleeding away with each eager kiss. Falling into the moment with Sel was easier than anything he'd ever done, or so he thought in the moment. He just wished he had the words to express himself in anything other than the jumbled fashion he'd managed so far.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #38 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
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Sel had to pull herself back. She had to move back away from her man. "Okay, let's get cleaned up first," she said with a smile as she quickly gave him another kiss. "Then I'm going to go to the sickbay. I'll let you know when I'm done and you can meet me back here, 'kay? Then we can finish where we left off."

---
Two Hours Later
---

The red candle flickered as Sel tapped the back of her head against the panel of the dresser it sat on. In her hand hung a data PADD and on it was the test she had hesitated on. She'd been back from sickbay for almost twenty minutes. They'd run a complete battery of tests on her. The fetus inside her was fine, healthy and growing quite nicely. Though not pure Bajoran, her body was handling it quite nicely. She'd been given an injection to aid with the process, just to keep her immune system from reacting to her child, and then came the decision. The genetic profile of the baby. Normally people asked for it just to find out details like gender and things like that, but for Sel it was far bigger as she knew it would confirm who the father was.

She didn't know why she had agreed to it, she didn't know why she had read the results when the PADD was handed to her. But now, in her quarters once more, she felt as if her world was on the verge of coming crashing down. She wanted to run and hide, but there was nowhere to hide. Nowhere she could go that she could escape the problem. It was now inescapable.

Some part of her wanted to go back and tell them to remove the thing from her. She didn't want it anymore. She didn't want it growing inside her. She wanted it to be...

She fought back tears and looked at the genetics report again.

She couldn't summon Sarresh back now. She couldn't face him. She couldn't look him in the eye and tell him that the life now growing inside her was...

She threw the PADD with her not inconsiderable strength at the wall and watched as the screen broke and the internal workings shorted out. Not that it would do any good, the evidence was in her file and in her body. Her sin now made flesh and she had never really thought of it in that way. It wasn't fair. 

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #39 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sarresh's Quarters | Deck 7| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe
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It had been the hardest thing in the world to leave Sel in that moment. Sarresh felt he should not have been as surprised about this as he was, and yet, he stood there, hair still damp (pleasantly so) with the memory of her in his arms, and a strong, unyielding longing. He reminded himself that he should not get his hopes too high. That he needed to take this slow. To not over react. But the hind brain memory of the species he used to be, and how critical this was to him - never mind he was genetically a very different species now. It was there, and it was so strong. A vestigal reminder, blazing in his soul, of what it meant to be Ash'reem.

Or simply an expectant Father.

Yet he'd followed her down to sickbay, remaining in the turbolift. That way they could pretend that the two of them happened to be sharing a cart. Thankfully they had the cart to themselves, so he could simply hold her hand. Just that moment of comfort before he let her march into the bay on her own, watching as the lift doors slid closed. The voice of Thea prompting him as to where he wished to go. For a moment, he'd pondered a drink, but in the end, he went back to his quarters.

Two Hours Later

He was pacing. Sarresh was, in fact, sure he was going to wear a hole in the carpet. That forced him to stop for a moment, and stare out at the stars, warping by. He was lucky, he knew, to have a room with a view like that. Plenty of officers of his rank had rooms located further into the interior of the ship. The bulkheads that would have had view-ports in an hull facing assignment could display any image they liked. But it was't quite the same as having the real thing.

Picking up the glass of water from his desk, he padded over and caught his reflection on the glass pane. He sipped, and rested the lip of his glass on his chin. Would his child look like him? Sarresh assumed that any offspring of Sel's would have a crinkled nose. Perhaps not as wrinkled up as their mother, but it would be there. A furrowed ridge to gently stroke and coo at. A sting of salt on his cheek caused him to blink and refocus. Tears?

It made no sense to Sarresh. Nor did the aching sensation around his mouth. He looked back up and realized he was smiling. And smiling so much - and he must have been doing it while pacing, worrying at what was taking the Bajoran so long - that his face hurt.

He must have been smiling more in the past few hours than he had in weeks. Possibly since before he came to the rescue of the Theurgy. He couldn't really remember much of the time before that, but he could remember everything that followed.

Tentatively his hand reached up to rub his jaw and ease a bit of the ache (while surreptitiously wiping away the tears, such as they were).

"At least they won't have my eyes," he said, and then laughed. A deep laugh, almost, but not quite manic. He was going to be a father. Gods help him. How had it happened? And where was his woman. Because she was his. Finally unable to resist the urge, Sarresh tapped two fingers against his combadge. "Morali to Ens. Ryuan. I wanted to follow up on our earlier briefing. Is this a good time?" There was always the chance that she had been waylaid by someone after leaving sickbay.

Sarresh wouldn't allow himself to contemplate that she had received bad news.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #40 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
[Show/Hide]

"Morali to Ens. Ryuan. I wanted to follow up on our earlier briefing. Is this a good time?"

Even if his words didn't cut her, his voice did. Like a dagger of shame and guilt plunging into her heart. But she couldn't let it show, she couldn't let the pain through, she couldn't hurt him like that. She'd have to hide it, at least for now.

"Uhn, yeah," she said forcing her voice to be calm and wiping her eyes and blinking back the tears that were boiling to the surface despite her best efforts to control them. "Yeah, I'm free. Can you meet me here?" Her voice sounded cracked and strained, not showing exactly how fucked up she was, but giving a hell of a hint. She tapped her combadge to close the channel and looked around her quarters. She needed to take care of things before he got there.

She pulled herself to her feet and walked over to the PADD she had thrown and set it in the replicator. She began picking up a little, putting various objects in the replicator one at a time. Some candles, some incense, a book, and finally she placed a small wooden box in it. She flicked the box open one last time and looked down at the red earring for a moment. Then with a heavy breath, she flicked it closed and tapped the recycle button on the replicator.

She didn't watch, even though it only took a second, she had turned and walked to the small single bed in her quarters and collapsed onto it. She waited for it to happen, feeling the weight on her chest and somehow inside her lower abdomen. She could both feel the weight of what she had done and what she had decided to do. She knew it was the wrong thing to do and she knew it was not going to turn out right, but she also knew she couldn't live without him. If he left or if he saw her with those mechanical eyes and saw her for what she was... It would destroy her.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #41 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sarresh's Quarters | Deck 7| USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe 
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There was a pause after he spoke, and to Sarresh, who was a mixture of hopeful eagerness and world weary concern, it seemed to drag on and on. In truth, the pause was maybe but a few scants breaths, and beats of the heart. Then Sel's voice came out of his combadge, filling the immediate area around him. He let it wash over him, only to find himself frowning in the confines of his quarters. Something was off, he thought as he listened. Something in the tone.

Maybe she'd fallen asleep after. Pregnant women get tired often, he reminded himself. He had, after all, spend the entirety of the time he was in his quarters after dropping Sel off, reading up on Bajoran pregnancy. He'd downloaded every single file on the subject, as well as cross-breed childbirth. And then there were some of the more classic texts related to human birthing (What to expect when you're expecting was still the number one suggested title, 300 years after the first edition was published, or so it claimed).

Sarresh was a man that believed in being armed when facing a challenge, and the best weapon was knowledge. He had much, much to learn, he'd discovered as he'd browsed the titles of the files, flicking through with the same diligence that he'd applied to monitoring the time-stream. A Guide to Common Symptoms of Multi-species Pregnancy As Collected by T'Zana of Vulcan had been a most enlightening, and mildly horrifying tome.

"I'll head right over," was all that Sarresh said. 'Here,' he reasoned, were her quarters.  Tucking the PADD under his arm, he raked his hands through his eternally too dry hair and turned on his heel heading right out the door.

[Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy | Five Minutes Later]

Trotting down the hall, a few decks up, and half the curve of the saucer section away, Sarresh found himself once again in front of Sel's quarters. He had scanned the halls, carefully, as he approached the door. It would not do to be caught sneaking into her rooms just yet, certainly not twice in one day. And yet, given the nature of the change in their relationship, was it any surprise?  Repressing that eager urge to bound in, Sarresh paused, and tugged his jacket into place. Clasping the PADD in his left hand, he reached out and triggered the door alert.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #42 –
[ Ens. Ryuan Sel | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy]  Attn: @Brutus
[Show/Hide]

At the sound of the door chime, Sel lifted her head and looked at the door. The urge to scream swept over her, the urge to flee and hide somewhere. She got the image of the jefferies tube access not far from the bed, she'd put a bookcase in front of it, she had some leftover paranoia and felt no need to make it easy to get into her room from any way besides the door. But none of that mattered. She couldn't run away from this, she didn't have anywhere to run to and it wasn't like it would do any good if she did. She had made her bed, so to speak, and she was going to lie in it. Now all she had to do was decide what to say and how to say it.

With a sigh, she pulled herself into a seated position and called out, "enter," in as clear a voice as she could manage. The pang of guilt and fear in her gut continued to dig into her, but she couldn't force herself any calmer. She'd cleaned her room of the evidence of her sin and she had resolved herself to keep it a secret. It was better to keep it a secret. Sarresh was so happy and she did not need him to see exactly what she was. She did not need that pain.

Before the door could open she pulled herself to her feet and checked her face in the bedroom mirror as if adjusting her mask. She made her face form a kind of relaxed smile, a calm and cool exterior that would hide the fear and pain in her eyes.

Re: USS Theurgy - The Start of Life

Reply #43 –
[ Lt (jg) Sarresh Morali | Sel's Quarters | Deck 5 | USS Theurgy ] Attn: @Absinthe 
[Show/Hide]

For another man, time might seem to stretch as Sarresh stood there, waiting for the door to open. But that was just one more odd facet about his existence that set Sarresh apart from everyone else on this ship. He never had that issue, the one where every second seemed to drag on. Sarresh was inherently, innately aware of the passage of time. A sixth sense that he could no more turn off than he could his own sense of smell.

Sel took precisely 12.67 seconds to respond. The doors took another 2.4 seconds to part, sliding open with the telltale hiss so very common to Starfleet construction. And it took Sarresh another 3.84 seconds to step over the threshold.

Mechanical eyes automatically adjusted for the difference in lighting, enhancing or dampening as needed, picking up the heat signature and then visual signal that was dumped into his brain, focusing in on the form of Ryuan Sel. She was standing, with a smile, he saw, near her mirror, a bit away's from the door. The room had been cleaned, slightly more so than he remembered when he had left after their shared shower.

Perhaps that was the cause of the delay in reply. She felt a need to clean? He asked himself. He had heard that some people coped with change, with news, or heavy thoughts, by losing themselves in some other unrelated task. Sarresh, had he felt like being introspective, would have had to concede that he had been guilty of it himself.

 But all he saw then, was the smile on the face of the woman carrying a baby - his baby - and he ran his tongue over the outside of his teeth, behind his lips. And his face formed that still some what unfamiliar expression as well - a smile.

"I uh...I've been reading. Is it too soon to start reading?" he asked, seemingly out of no where.

- FIN
 
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